Darkwolf (2003)

            ~Cast~

Samaire Armstrong.............Josie

Ryan Alosio........................Steve Turley

Andrea Bogart....................Stacey

Jaime Bergman....................McGowan

Kane Hodder.......................Biker Guy

Directed by..........................Richard Friedman

My Rating:

   It took me forever to finally pick this movie up after hearing all of NOTHING about it except that this was the film the ex-Jason Voorhees would be in. I read up on the box he gets first billing....funny seeing as how after I dished out the 6.99 for this, I find out his character is named BIKER GUY.....and yes he is the werewolf you Hodder fans so don't get your sister's panties tangled up in your tighty whiteys! The movie surprised me by actually being good, could also be because the 2 films I watch before putting this one in were RETURN TO HORROR HIGH and FRIGHTMARE so that could have aided in this but who knows. Now while this movie may have had an intriguing concept, tons of nudity, and from time to time, good acting...it also had it's downfalls. The main one was the CGI wolf transformations that looked like something out of the original Resident Evil game on PS1, also the fact the werewolf suit was so fake, I have seen costumes sold at Wal-Mart that were more convincing then this one. Also due to the low budget value of this moon light fiesta, the gore was also cut down to after shots and quick off screen killings which was a real bummer seeing as how they go ape shit on the police station. Since it is 3 in the morning and I am half asleep...I shall save my brain the energy and just copy and paste the movies description from IMDB.com...

   A vicious werewolf stalks the streets of Los Angeles. Between killings, its desperate goal is to mate with unsuspecting Josie, who is unaware of her special power attracting the beast. Forced to take over an investigation involving werewolves after his partner is killed, an LAPD Detective is led to the trail of this ravenously deadly hybrid werewolf. This unstoppable beast is in LA to find the next matriarch of the pure-bred werewolves so that it can mate with her before the night is over and continue the werewolf lineage. Josie, the young waitress becomes his target and the cop must find a way to rescue her and ultimately the entire human race which will become extinct if the mating occurs.

   There you go, that is your plot and that is mainly what held this film together. Had it not been for the interesting concepts and new approach to werewolves that they took, this movie would have ended up just another film to wind up covered in dust at the back of Hollywood Video. The problem is, the special effects take this movie down to a level that prevents it from transforming into anything more then direct to video garbage. It is that bad folks and had it not been for that, as fickle as it may sound, this movie would have been a 4 skull review. Oh well.....

   Acting wise this movie goes from ok to somewhat decent with Samaire Armstrong playing Josie, the waitress who is destined to be fucked by Hodder. She looks smoking in this movie and if it were to be the end of the world over one night with her...see you later world! Ryan Alosio reminded me of Ryan Seacrest at times but in a good way...if that is possible. He plays the cop assigned to protect Josie and he does a damn good job. Andrea Bogart looked good in this movie playing Stacey the friend and not only was she good enough to eat, but she also did a decent job. Jamie Bergman does good in what she has to work with. Kane Hodder seemed well fit for this role for he just looks like a biker did good. I mean, he only had 3 lines in the whole movie and the rest was either CGI or him just standing there bashing up stuff. The director takes us on an exciting and fast paced werewolf ride that doesn't skimp on the horror. I found myself really into this movie and saw I was enjoying it. I have to say that the angles, the cuts and everything else worked very well in this and I shall leave it at that.

    The gore in the movie is all after shots....nothing is on screen nor do we get anything really worth mentioning to your dog. We get corpses, blood everywhere, arm removing, and tons of after shots of corpses. This movie has tons of nudity though, enough to make Roger Corman proud! We get an opening with about 5 girls dancing naked as there fake tits stand still, we have an erotic dance with 2 sexy ladies on the roof doing full frontal nudity for several minutes and the ladies get Kane Hodder...showing everything but his wang (and we thank him for keeping that hidden) which means yes, you ladies get to see his butt. Thanks, my life was incomplete without having seen Jason Voorhees's butt! 

    I say, check this movie out when you are at Circuit City for it's only 6 bucks and worth every penny. It has the story, the boobage, and it's got some ok gore but for 6 bucks, how cheap can you be? So run on out the next time the moon is full, pick this stray dog up from the pound and watch the transformation that occurs when it begins howling out of your speakers from your DVD player. And if that wasn't enough werewolf puns for ya...then I don't know what is!

Special Guest Reviewers:
Al Bundy

"How can you go wrong with a 10 minute scene of two hot babes dancing naked in the moonlight...hooters swaying from side to side....almost makes me want to go home to Peg! Well almost."

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