BLOODRAYNE (2006)

~Cast~
Kristanna Loken ........ Rayne
Michelle Rodriguez .... Katarin
Ben Kingsley ........... Kagan
Michael Madsen ....... Vladimir
Matthew Davis ......... Sebastian
Billy Zane ............... Elrich
Will Sanderson.........Domastir
James' Rating:

                            Driven by revenge...

Now you're asking yourself... "You're going to review another Uwe Boll film?!?! Don't you have enough One Skulled reviews on the site?" Well, I decided to give Uwe (Ooo-Va) another chance here. Luckily for me...this was the best performance to date for this man.  To be honest, I wasn't expecting much from this film after seeing the Alone in the Dark Tiara Reid shit-show. In addition to that, a movie that was supposed to be released in 2000+ theatres only got released in a little over 1000.  I had to drive 40 plus minutes to see this movie! What else could I think? This movie must be a mistake. Who would want to see this crap? Well, you should! This movie was the surprise of the winter. The cast alone should draw your attention. Will Billy Zane, Michael Madsen and Kristanna Loken head this star-studded cast for BloodRayne.

Based on the Majesco Entertainment game, BloodRayne takes place in eighteenth century Romania. The central character , Rayne, is a dhampir (half-human, half-vampire), who's ultimate goal is to avenge her mother's death who was raped and murdered by her father  Kagan, Ben Kingsley, now the ultimate and King of Vampires. With the help of two vampire hunters, Sebastian and Vladimir, she sets out on the ultimate revenge.

Now you probably aren't walking into this movie expecting a masterpiece and that's okay. But what you will get, is a fun movie. A movie that you will enjoy watching and have fun rooting for Rayne throughout. This is an actual enjoyable movie. You don't have to sit there analyzing the movie scene by scene for this movie. And if you don't, you will walk away with a smile on your face.

The acting isn't up for any awards in this film. Kristanna Loken's performance at the beginning of the film leaves something to be asked for. But her performance is ultimately what pulls it all together. As the movie continues, her performance gets better and better and leaves you actually feeling for her.  As for Michael Madsen...you might be asking yourself, "why is this guy in this movie? He doesn't even seem like he cares." This might be true. It seemed as though he's watching for the paycheck to clear so he can leave. He has no accent and gives the same performance he'd give for any other movie. The other actors seemed to pull off adequate performances for the movie and left me with no complaints.

In addition to the acting, the audience might question the wigs that the actors were wearing. C'mon Uwe, you certainly could have done a better job than the jokes you threw on the actors in this film.The gore will certainly leave you with a smile walking away from this movie. With sliced stomachs and chests, swords to the face and eyes and arrows to every part of the body, a person couldn't ask for more blood. A bit CGI at times, but overall, a great use of blood.As for directing, Boll again dazzles us with camera angles and things we have never scene before. Even if you hated any of the other Boll films you have scene, you certainly can't complain about the directing. Yes, the storyline, plot, and acting might have been poor, but the direction left nothing to be complained about. Nudity is one great aspect of this film. From the numerous actual prostitutes Meatloaf is surrounded by, to Kristanna's Loken's Lokens...you couldn't ask for more. That's right. T-3 herself bears nearly all of it in an erotic and amazing jail-cell scene. Let me tell you...this scene is worth the 10 bucks alone! 

So what else is there to say about BloodRayne? If I were you, I'd pretend that I wasn't aware boll directed this and take a shot at this film. You won't be let down if you aren't expecting much. And if you are expecting a great adaptation from a popular video game...than you have that too. Loken holds this movie together and Boll makes a stunning return to horror with this film. Check out BloodRayne in theatres if it isn't too far from you, or definitely rent it when it hits video. 

Special Guest Reviewer:

Al Bundy

"Nice job with realism Uwe...I tried it out and look what happened to me? I get stuck in a cell with a bunch of other idiots who saw your movie and thought they would get railed on the cell door...thanks for getting our hopes up for nothing! I can look at the bright side...at least I saw some Hooter! And a nice pair of hooters it was!"

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