~Cast~Black Christmas (2006)
~Cast~
Katie Cassidy............................Kelli
Michelle Trachtenberg...............Melissa
Mary Elizabeth Winstead...........Heather
Lacey Chabert..........................Dana
Kristen Cloke............................Leigh
Andrea Martin...........................Ms. Mac
Directed by...............................Glen Morgan
My Rating:
"You're my family now!" Billy?
As many of you already know, I am a fan of the original 1974 film, BLACK CHRISTMAS. When I first heard they were remaking the original I didn't know how to feel. On one hand I was somewhat excited, but after hearing about all the problems (re-shoots, a cast member not even knowing her characters fate, and then the trailer having FAKE footage to draw in the crowd) I wasn’t expecting too much. So I walked into the Dedham theatre, sat down in the old fashion seats, and I told myself to look at this film objectively and with an open mind. The end result was...inconclusive. I honestly can't tell you if I liked this movie or not but I can back up my reasons for feeling this way. First off, it felt like they didn't know who to play this movie to, the fans of the original film or to the new comers who never heard of "Black Christmas.”
The first 20 minutes of this movie make it feel more like a sequel, which I liked, providing us with an extensive back story on "Billy" and his family. After that, though, it goes bad. They try to get us to believe that “Billy” is killing people when he doesn’t escape until after we have already had 2 murders occur. This threw me for a loop and I kept asking myself "Why are they trying to insult our intelligence by insinuating that this Billy Lenz who escaped from the insane asylum is actually the one doing the killings. (No, I am not giving off any spoilers here folks so bare with me) Then we come to the main characters, the girls of the sorority house who to be honest, I didn't give a flying fuck about. Each one seemed like a pre-madonna or a stuck up snob. In fact, one wears designer snow boots through out the second half of the movie! They all seemed to hate each other as well. I will say this; they went the same way as the HOUSE OF WAX REMAKE with the gory deaths and twisted families. Enough babbling though, let's get to the story.
The movie tells the story of a young boy named Billy. He is locked in the attic of his home by his mother and her lover. One day Billy breaks out of his musty attic and murders them. In present day, 8 girls, and their house mother, find themselves living in Billys old home, now a sorority house. Billy decides to come home for the Holiday season, and hides away in a familiar attic. Through the night, the house receives obscene phone calls, and the sorority girls start to go missing.
So it sounds like I bashed the movie in the first paragraph. Now let's look at why I liked this movie. First off, I really dug the back story on Billy, and although I believe that giving us less info on the character is better (worked great in the original) the story in this one made perfect sense and fit him like a Christmas sweater. The gore in the movie as well was what you would expect and was able to pull a couple of "OOOH SHIT"'s out of me. There are a lot of eyeball shots in this neatly wrapped present. Some of the tongue in cheek humor with the deaths worked as well (loved the Christmas cookies) and I wish they had more of it. The problem with this version is the fact that it forgets how the original was scary. The idea of someone living in the attic and killing these girls, then calling them and shouting incoherent babblings is disturbing to me and this movie forgets to make that happen. The phone calls were dumbed down to "AGNES! WHERES BILLY!... You're my family now," calls that weren't disturbing at all. The fact that the killer barely repeats anything that is said, and that all the calls seemed to solely consist of that one "family" line caused this film to lose a lot of that uneasy feeling I get when watching the original. Also, the story is lacking in this one as well. Gone are the outside plots and characters. For example, John Saxon's entire character is gone along with the entire sub plot of the cops helping out. The mystery is also gone. The film turns into "A bunch of dumbass girls staying in a house, when they should be running down the street, just so they can get killed." In that aspect this movie let me down big time, but on the brighter side the movie did keep me entertained and worked as a mindless slasher.
Acting wise, Katie Cassidy played Kelli the blond girl (none of the characters stood out enough for me to remember who they were) who had trouble with her boyfriend. She did what the role required but nothing more. Michelle Trachtenberg who I felt was underused played Melissa, the "nice" sorority sister. She did a decent job in this filler role. Mary Elizabeth Winstead who starred in FINAL DESTINATION 3, played Heather and she did a decent job in this. Lacey Chabert played Dana, another sorority girl who didn't stand out or anything. I actually don't even remember what happened to her character to be quite honest with you, shows how in depth each character was. Kristen Cloke, wife of Glen Morgan who directed this movie, was probably the best one in this movie. She plays Leigh, sister of Clair who died in the opening sequence. She arrives at the house in search of her sister and ends up giving off a really good performance. In fact, she was one of the only girls I actually cared about. Then we have Andrea Martin who played the curly haired Phyllis in the original Black Christmas. She comes back in this film as Ms. Mac the house mother and she gave off a good performance. Not as rememberable or comical as the original Mrs. Mac but she still does good.
To the directing, Glen Morgan has a certain style that he uses that makes these films so entertaining. Willard (a film Glen also directed) was a masterpiece in every way from the acting to the directing and Glen tries his hardest with this film. Unfortunately, the film was unable to capture the terror that Bob Clark unleashed when he directed the original. Gone are the freakish shots and close ups on eyes. I feel that Bob's version is still way better, but Glen gave it his own seasoning and it worked as well.
Gore wise we get a lot of stuff. I don't know what it is lately with eyeball shots but this film has a lot of that. We get a ton of eye balls being torn out and eaten. Santa brings decapitation, flesh cookies, roller pin bashing, hammer smashing, plastic bag suffocation, candy cane killing, and tree and intestines galore! For those who are naughty he brings a nice butt shot and a quick "don't blink" tit shot and nothing for the ladies this year.
I say, Glen Morgan's BLACK CHRISTMAS has its flaws and a lot of what made the original so good has gone missing. What is left though is something you can enjoy on the level it was meant to be enjoyed on.I guess I have come to the conclusion after writing this review, that I did not in fact like this movie, it was so-so at best but nothing more then that. If tons of gore is what you want for Christmas this year Little Timmy, then ask your father, I mean Santa to bring you to see BLACK CHRISTMAS. For those who love the classic as much as I, this season brings disappointment as well as joy. Not the worst remake, not the best, I will stop rhyming cause it sucks major ass!
Special Guest Reviewer:
George
Newman
"You know it's a bad slasher film when, during the climactic chase scene, the main actress is wearing designer boots with white fluff on them. She may be killed, but at least she will die in style!"