All Souls Day

~Cast~

Jeffrey Combs..............random 3 second character

Ellie Cornell..................wife of random 3 second character

Danny Trejo.................Same character he is in every film...

David Keith......................Only actor to get paid

Directed by...................Sally Struthers

My Rating:

            So I get this movie delivered to my door in a cool package which made me smile....yeah...because I am a loser like that who gets excited when he sees a package at his front door, what!? You want to fight about it!? Anyway, I opened the package and found a cool looking DVD with JEFFREY COMBS, ELLIE CORNELL (who I still am mad at for House of the Dead) DANNY TREJO and DAVID KEITH, so with the cast sounding pretty good, my friend and I decided to watch this little UNCUT AND UNCENSORED version of ALL SOULS DAY. Within the first 10 minutes, we had already seen Combs come....and go with his 4 lines. I think they filmed it when he was checking into the hotel for another film cause all he does is carry bags and sit on a bed. Greaaaat use of Herbert West there...the movie DID show promise until our two lead characters get inside the hotel and we are stuck there...for 45 minutes being bored. This is one of those movies you get because it has a cool cover and flashy names and think hey, this is a cool combo of B-movie actors, this will be a good film. Then you realize how much this movie blows and how you just wasted your money on this piece of shit . Anyway, let's get to the so called "Story"

    Day of the Dead...in Mexico its celebrated...in this movie, it is the crutch they use to give the appearance the movie has some depth to it. Some guy played by Danny Trejo back stabs another guy and blows up a town. Now years later, his spirit is alive and so are all of the souls in the town. All the souls who died on that day and they are looking for him...but we don't find that out till the end of this movie. Oh shit! I just ruined the whole thing; damn it! Anyway...of course the kids in the movie somehow get trapped in this town at an inn and can't get out because of the undead trying to get in. For some odd reason they don't realize this bozo is hiding in the back room of the INN so instead they keep on wandering the town and the movie goes on from there. By the end...you realize you should have just inhaled the exhaust from your car or downed a gallon of paint thinner instead of tormenting yourself with this 90(feels like 120)minute piece of crap.

    Luckily I didn't spend a dime on this movie cause otherwise I would be even more disgusted then I am now. I think this could have been a decent movie on a cheese level but to make a GOOD cheese film...certain requirements must be met. One of which is when a movie says UNRATED and UNCUT...it actually have something that would have been cut to begin with. I saw more gore in CRY WOLF then I saw in this. Not only that, but the horrible miss-use of actors. We have people who become heroic for no reason at all and then do the DUMBEST THINGS! "NO I won't run into the car...I have to go to the OTHER side of it for no other reason then to die because it's in the script." Or the random people RUNNING outside for the dumbest reasons and then...not even getting what they set out to get! The only good thing about this movie was that it provides some decent laughs...whether they were meant to be funny or not.

    Ok, I'm not even going to get into the acting because to be honest...it was atrocious all around. The only one who was decent was David Keith and I have no idea WHY he even attempted in this movie but he did. He was the only one who I liked and he actually has more then a 3 second role. But his 10 second role ends way to quickly and once he goes...all of the BIG NAMES are gone and we are stuck with a bunch of talentless hacks who can't act their way out of an Excedrin commercial! Directing wise...the movie didn't sport anything good from what I can remember...it was very cut and dry which really made me want to go to bed.

    Gore wise...we get a severed tongue, random body parts, lame impalement, neck bite, gun blasts...I believe that's it. Forgot if there was nudity in this...and if there was...it sucked.

    I say, ALL SOULS DAY isn't worth your time, effort or attention despite it's very cool DVD cover, the movie really offers nothing in terms of ZOMBIE entertainment. Anchor Bay releases a lot of good films but this isn't one of them. Don't let the flashy names fool you, this is done by the same company that brought you HOUSE OF THE DEAD and we all remember how good that one is! I think it is safe to say that anything post Halloween 5 with Ellie Cornell's name on it, is a sure fire way of knowing it is beyond garbage and should be avoided like the plague. If you really want a film of this kind of plotline...watch DAGON.

Special Guest Reviewer:

George Newman

"You know a Sci-Fi Pictures Original is horrible when the hero who gets the hot Asian girl is in fact played by the museum geek from Eurotrip! Ya...logic dictates you DON'T give the biggest geek since Screech Powers the role of "HEROIC GUY WITH HOT GIRLFRIEND""

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