Farmer Wants... Round Two!
(Kyra) Sable is happy to welcome everyone back to Farmer Wants, starring her master Patrick.
Well, she's happy to see everyone but the viewer in the beige recliner over in Peoria. She thinks he's kinda creepy looking, especially since he's got that weird smile and she can't see what he's doing with that one hand. She wishes he would just go watch Smustling with the Stars or something.
Last week our seven lucky winners moved onto the farm and had a chance to chat up this season's farmer, Patrick Desiderata. Patrick checked out our new farmerettes and decided who was hot and who was... er... not. He also had to make the very difficult decision as to who would be the first to leave his agriculture paradise. Unfortunately, our first departee was Angelia Gamer; she will be watching the future episodes of Farmer Wants from the very comfy couch in the Runners Up Residence.
Our Farmer and Farmerettes have had a good night's sleep and are now ready for Round Two of Farmer Wants. Let's go see if they're bright eyed, bushy tailed, and ready to greet the day.
(Kyra) In Round Two, our contestants will get their first taste of farm life as they tend the garden and the orchard. Once the crops are in tip top shape, they'll have a hearty lunch and head out for an afternoon of fishing. The Farmerette who lands the most fish gains immunity and can't be voted off the island... er... is safe from being asked to leave the farm after dinner.
(executive producer-director's note: Nice to see that Christina's outfit decided to play nice this time around, unlike last time.)
(Kyra) Good Morning Sunshine.
(Patrick) *Yawn* Good Morning Kyra.
(Kyra) Time to make the donuts?
(Patrick) *stretch* Time to make the... wha?
(Kyra) It's quite early still. Is it breakfast time already?
(Patrick) Almost. I thought I'd make everyone a nice hot breakfast once I've showered and shaved.
(Kyra) In the 'good old days', people only bathed once a week.
(Patrick) Did you know, Kyra, that in ancient Rome bathing was actually a very important social function, as well as being a good hygiene practice? Romans went to the bathhouse daily and many said they would go two or three times a day if they could. The bathhouse...
(Kyra) Er... why don't we go check on your housemates while you go and get ready? I'm sure many of our viewers would love it if our cameraman followed you into the shower, but the steam tends to fog up the lens.
Instead we'll take a quick review of our contestants, who are all still happily sleeping.
Aeronwy Diobhell camped out on the studio porch for weeks for her chance on the farm. In her conversations with our farmer, she's made no bones about what she'd like to do with him if she could get him alone for a little while.
Deb Childress is an aspiring author who is hoping to be inspired by the tranquility of farm life... and by our farmer as well. She and Patrick didn't hit it off well after a discussion on zombies went awry, but hopefully she'll be able to turn things around this episode.
Sariana Starshine is no stranger to front porches or contests. After appearing in the Riverblossom edition of Farmer Wants, she's hoping her luck is a little stronger this time around. Her companions have commented (hopefully?) that if she keeps talking about this "Burke" person she's obsessed with, she may blow her chances with our farmer.
Laura Stone has settled pretty comfortably into farm life, and our cameras have often caught her... ah... admiring the views on the farm. She and Patrick hit it off fairly well, and she currently leads the point total on the scoreboard we keep back here at the studio.
Apparently concerned that zomgbies will find and eat her while she sleeps, Christina Adélie has hidden herself well under her blankets. Much like Aeronwy, her discussions with Patrick has been pretty pointed about why she's interested in him..
Lisa Plough sleeps the sleep of the content, knowing that in the totals she trails Laura by a mere point. Okay maybe she doesn't know this, but she does know that she and Patrick have hit it off well, which bodes well for her staying on the farm a while.
Hmm... I hear some rustling in the kitchen. Does Patrick have mice?
But before breakfast, this break for station identification.
(Kyra) Sable is happy to welcome everyone back to Farmer Wants, starring her master Patrick.
Well, she's happy to see everyone but the viewer in the beige recliner over in Peoria. She thinks he's kinda creepy looking, especially since he's got that weird smile and she can't see what he's doing with that one hand. She wishes he would just go watch Smustling with the Stars or something.
Last week our seven lucky winners moved onto the farm and had a chance to chat up this season's farmer, Patrick Desiderata. Patrick checked out our new farmerettes and decided who was hot and who was... er... not. He also had to make the very difficult decision as to who would be the first to leave his agriculture paradise. Unfortunately, our first departee was Angelia Gamer; she will be watching the future episodes of Farmer Wants from the very comfy couch in the Runners Up Residence.
Our Farmer and Farmerettes have had a good night's sleep and are now ready for Round Two of Farmer Wants. Let's go see if they're bright eyed, bushy tailed, and ready to greet the day.
::Cheezy, Green Acres-eque theme music plays::
Seven Single Ladies
One Eligible Bachelor Farmer
Vast Tracts of Land
Seven Single Ladies
One Eligible Bachelor Farmer
Vast Tracts of Land
(Kyra) In Round Two, our contestants will get their first taste of farm life as they tend the garden and the orchard. Once the crops are in tip top shape, they'll have a hearty lunch and head out for an afternoon of fishing. The Farmerette who lands the most fish gains immunity and can't be voted off the island... er... is safe from being asked to leave the farm after dinner.
(executive producer-director's note: Nice to see that Christina's outfit decided to play nice this time around, unlike last time.)
(Kyra) Good Morning Sunshine.
(Patrick) *Yawn* Good Morning Kyra.
(Kyra) Time to make the donuts?
(Patrick) *stretch* Time to make the... wha?
(Kyra) It's quite early still. Is it breakfast time already?
(Patrick) Almost. I thought I'd make everyone a nice hot breakfast once I've showered and shaved.
(Kyra) In the 'good old days', people only bathed once a week.
(Patrick) Did you know, Kyra, that in ancient Rome bathing was actually a very important social function, as well as being a good hygiene practice? Romans went to the bathhouse daily and many said they would go two or three times a day if they could. The bathhouse...
(Kyra) Er... why don't we go check on your housemates while you go and get ready? I'm sure many of our viewers would love it if our cameraman followed you into the shower, but the steam tends to fog up the lens.
Instead we'll take a quick review of our contestants, who are all still happily sleeping.
Aeronwy Diobhell camped out on the studio porch for weeks for her chance on the farm. In her conversations with our farmer, she's made no bones about what she'd like to do with him if she could get him alone for a little while.
Deb Childress is an aspiring author who is hoping to be inspired by the tranquility of farm life... and by our farmer as well. She and Patrick didn't hit it off well after a discussion on zombies went awry, but hopefully she'll be able to turn things around this episode.
Sariana Starshine is no stranger to front porches or contests. After appearing in the Riverblossom edition of Farmer Wants, she's hoping her luck is a little stronger this time around. Her companions have commented (hopefully?) that if she keeps talking about this "Burke" person she's obsessed with, she may blow her chances with our farmer.
Laura Stone has settled pretty comfortably into farm life, and our cameras have often caught her... ah... admiring the views on the farm. She and Patrick hit it off fairly well, and she currently leads the point total on the scoreboard we keep back here at the studio.
Apparently concerned that zomgbies will find and eat her while she sleeps, Christina Adélie has hidden herself well under her blankets. Much like Aeronwy, her discussions with Patrick has been pretty pointed about why she's interested in him..
Lisa Plough sleeps the sleep of the content, knowing that in the totals she trails Laura by a mere point. Okay maybe she doesn't know this, but she does know that she and Patrick have hit it off well, which bodes well for her staying on the farm a while.
Hmm... I hear some rustling in the kitchen. Does Patrick have mice?
But before breakfast, this break for station identification.