our wedding day - been married 2 years over now, wasn't the easiest time of our life's - in fact guests said it was a wedding from hell I quote, - ok so guess I better tell you what went wrong - well ok, Ill start with what didn't, we both turned up, so did the rev - kev's family, the limo, the photographer and yep that's about it,
My dad had been ill a long time so when we got engaged we decided we should go do it as soon as poss., but things aren't always that easy we worked out the earliest we could do it and set a date 6th July 02, and booked the church St Wulframs its the church where every girl dreams of,
everything was going so well then 6 weeks before our big day dad got so poorly we could no longer give him the care he needed so the doc took him in to hospital, he got gangrene in there and they had to remove his leg, the docs told us he wouldn't make it but, hey they said that 4 years before that, said he's heart was to weak this time. But he did it he came though we sat there all night till they made us leave.
after that he seemed better but it wasn't to last, he had got newmonia when he had the op, and a week later he died.
this was 4 weeks before our wedding day, 3 days before his birthday.
I was and I guess am devastated - he'd always been my rock.
With my heart ace and all I just couldn't take my mums next stunt,
My mum is disabled as she is mentally ill, she seems very normal and all doesn't need a padded room or anything,
I really don't want to slag her down so there's a lot im going to leave out, but the top and bottom or it is she has a very bad temper and has no line to draw when she wants to hurt you,
so we partly walked out got thrown out.
And because of this her - my family all turned against us, we were basically left homeless only what we could throw in bin bags is what we had.
We where forced to go curling to kev's mum and dad, That was the hardest thing I've ever had to explain. You see they believed I came from a good respectable family like them, Id kept everything from them- forced poor Kev to do the same.
But they took us in we both suffered nervous breakdowns though everything but we said all a long we must get married. we cant let them win. we tried and tried to make things right but there was no chance. Mum was squeezing every bit of pity out of it she could. the last thing she told me was that when she heard our wedding bells she would kill herself.
The next 4 weeks were 4 of the worst. but with lots of small rocks falling from the sky we made it. we found our first home together, a tiny little town house that felt safe.
THE BIG DAY,
Oh god and what a day!
I got my self ready. Had no idea at all of what to expect that day. My sister had fallen into mums trap and believed all her lies.
kev's mum came to pull up my zip, The limo arrived, I got in, ending up at church,
Kev's mum and dad were there, and Julie( photos)
she said don't worry kev's here! well thank god right! we took photos I even began to get a little excited again, I went and stood by the glass doors like i was told, waiting for the rev to come get me like he said.......and I waited.......and I waited.......
I kept see very worried faces running pass the door, not anybody giving eye contact...Julie kept saying over and over again he is here he is I took pictures it was him!
Then the minister of the church came out - oh god this wasn't good.
he went over to a sign out side and hid it behind a wall, It said in big letters OPEN CHURCH!
the minister began to explain something all I heard was....
There has been a slight mistake in bookings.....blah.....blah....blah b u ll s h i t blah...blah .....followed by please come back at 2.3o - that was 6 hours away,
well yeah ok Ill pop back on the bus late mate!
I think he realised I was about to head butt him when he ran in side saying we will try, we will try.
then a few life times later the rev came out to me. he was very up set by it all and was wonderful. he knew all about my mum and dad and had tried so much to help. It wasn't even his church, but he was so sorry.
He explained that what had happened was someone had written it down wrong in a diary!
which meant no paperwork ready, no organist, no choir, but by pure chance the bell ringers where there as to practice.
An hour late almost for the ceremony, we had 1 choir girl whom they had been able to drag in, a 15 year old school boy who God bless him! new one one piece of music, and I have to add tried so hard but really couldn't of sounded much worse. We had a school teacher to play the hymns (on a piano they dragged over from the school next door)
The minister told me to come in, he made me feel like I was a little girl. He said now are we going to go though with this? I was trying not to cry, just trying to block it all out, But this i couldn't and my very words were......"I will as long as Kev still wants to, but I don't want to see him!"
the next moment I know he stood in front of me every body stood around us in a ring us in the middle them talking about what we should do.
this to me was it the straw that broke the camels back, Id been waiting so long to see his face when he saw me, id imaged that moment since I could walk and talk. I been to such huge lengths for it to all be a surprise. And now the moment had come and it was ruined.
I looked at the minister and said "I DIDN'T WANT TO SEE HIM!" He turned to me and said you cant be childish about this, We cannot be running around passing messages on like children! that word again.
I looked at Kev and said to him quietly "is Nicky here?" Nicky was my oldest niece she had txted me saying she would be there. but now even she wasn't there. some of kev's family sat on my side to make me feel better. Kev and i was sent back to opposite sides of the church again.
the lad started to play his erm....you get the picture,
I put on a big false smile which I wore for the rest of the day,
PEOPLE SAY KNOW I BET YOU LAUGH NOW DON'T YOU!
The rest of the was kind of controlled - cos we did it all our self's!
things are sorted out now with my family we are all friends again. something's cant be forgotten but I do love them all. And sometimes things have to get worse before they get better.
I know now that we did the right thing by leaving that day. as hard as it was. I've made mum face up to the way she is now and for a hole year she has been good. she knows now that im not bluffing when I say I've taken all I can.
