Bullmastiff

Mr & Mrs Hughes

The 10 Dog Commandments

1. My life is likely to last 10 to 15 years, any separation from you will be very painful.


2. Give me time to understand what you want of me.


3. Place your trust in me -- It is crucial for my well-being.


4. Don't be angry with me for long. And don't lock me up as punishment. You have your work, your friends, your entertainment. I only have you.


5. Talk to me even if I don't understand your words. I understand your voice when it's speaking to me.


6. Be aware that however you treat me, I'll never forget it.


7. Before you hit me, remember that I have teeth that could easily have crushed the bones in your hand, but I chose not to bite you.


8. Before you scold me for being lazy or uncooperative, ask yourself if something might be bothering me.

Perhaps I'm not  getting the right food, I've been out in the sun too long, or my heart may be getting old and weak.


9. Take care of me when I get old. You too will grow old.


10. Go with me on the difficult journeys, never say.

 "I can't bear to watch it" or "Let it happen when I'm not there".

Remember everything is easier for me when you are there.


Remember I Love You

Doggie Dictionary



LEAD:

A strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your mum and dad where you want him/her to go.

DOG BED:

Any soft, clean surface, such as the white bedspread in the guest room or the newly upholstered couch in the living room.

DROOL:

Is what you do when your mum and dad have food and you don't. To do this properly you must sit as close as you can and look sad

 and let the drool fall to the floor, or better yet, on their laps.

SNIFF:

A social custom to use when you greet other dogs. Place your nose as close as you can to the other dog's rear end and inhale deeply,

repeat several times, or until your grown - up makes you stop.

WHEELIE BIN:

A container where mum and dad put food they don't want to test your ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push

the lid up with your nose. If you do it right you are rewarded with margarine wrappers to shred, Beef bones to consume and moldy

crusts of bread.

BICYCLES:

Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body fat.

To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out, Bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards; the person

 then swerves and falls into the bushes, and you prance away.

DEAFNESS:

This is an affliction which affects dogs when their mum or dad want them in and they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring

 blankly at the person, then running in the opposite direction, or lying down.

THUNDER:

This is a signal that the world is coming to an end. Mum and dad remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to

 warn them of the danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling your eyes wildly and following their every move.

INDOOR BIN:

This is a dog toy filled with paper, envelopes, and old candy wrapper.

When you get bored, turn over the basket and strew the papers all over the  house until your mum and dad comes home.

SOFAS:

Are to dogs like napkins are to people. After eating it is polite to run up and down the front of the sofa and wipe your whiskers clean.

BATH:

This is a process by which mum and dad drench the floor, walls and themselves. You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently.

LEAN:

Every good dog's response to the command "sit !", especially if your mum and dad are dressed for an evening out.

Incredibly effective before black-tie events.

BUMP:

The best way to get your mum and dad's attention when they are drinking a fresh cup of coffee or tea.

NUDGE:

A maneuver to use as a last resort when the Regular Bump doesn't get the attention you require.....

especially effective when combined with The Sniff. See above.

LOVE:

Is a feeling of intense affection, given freely and without restriction.

The best way you can show your love is to wag your tail. If you're lucky, a human will love you in return.

 

 

A lovely poem By Harry !!

Now we lie down to sleep


My mummy's bed so soft and deep

I sleep right in the center groove

My mummy can hardly move!

I' ve trapped her legs, they're pulled in tight

And this is where we sleep all night

No one disturbs us or dares intrude

Until morning's here, and "I want food!"

I creep up slowly to begin

and nibble on my mummy's chin.

Morning is here and it's time to play i

always seem to get my own way.

By Doggy

You feed me when I'm hungry,

You keep water in my dish,

You let me sleep on anything,

Or in any place I wish.

You sometimes let me lick your hands,

Or even lick your face,

Despite the fact I've licked myself

In every private place.

You taught me how to come when called,

You taught me how to sit,

You always let me go outside

So I can take a ...........stroll.

I've been with you through oh, so much,

Through laughter and through tears,

I hope you live to be a hundred......

(that's 700 in doggy years!).

Anon


Oh Lord, don't let me once forget how I love my trusty pet.

Help me learn to disregard canine craters in my yard.

Show me how to be a buddy even when my sofa's muddy.

Don't allow my pooch to munch postal carriers for lunch.

Shield my neighbour's cat from view--guide my steps around the doo.

Train me not to curse and scowl when it's puppy's night to howl.

Grant I shan't awake in fear with a cold nose in my ear.

Give me patience without end--help me be my dog's "best friend".


A poem about Dogs

These are our dogs
This is their home
from which we hope
they'll never roam

They're faithful friends
we love them best.
This is their home
you are a guest

If dogs to you
are just a peeve
Then by all means

feel free to leave.

Do I Go Back Home Today?

 

When my family first bought me to live within their home. They cuddled and they pampered me and groomed with brush and comb.

 

They played with me and laughed with me and showered me with toys. I sure do love my family, and all the tiny girls and boys.

 

The children loved to feed me; and give me special treats. They even let me sleep with them - all cosy in their sheets

 

I used to go for lovely walks, often several times a day. They even fought to hold my lead, I'm so very proud to say!

 

These are the things I'll not forget - a cherished memory. for now I'm in a shelter, bereft of family.

 

They used to laugh and praise me when I played with that old shoe. But I didn't know the difference between the old one and the new

 

The kids and I would grab a rag, and for hours we played tug. So I thought I did the right thing when I chewed that bedroom rug.

 

They said that I had lost control and would have to live outside. I didn't really understand this, though I really really tried!

 

The walks they stopped one by one; they said they had no time. I wish that I could change things; I wish I knew my crime.

 

My life became so lonely shackled to a metal chain. I barked and barked continually I thought I'd go insane.

 

So they took me to the shelter but were embarrassed to say why. So they said I'd caused an allergy, then said their last goodbye.

 

If only I'd had training, as a tiny little pup. I wouldn't have been so hard to live with, when I was all grown up.

 

You only have one day left", I heard the kennel man say. Does that mean I have a second chance? "Do I go back home today"?

 

Dog Training


'It'll change your life,' I was informed
The day that I acquired a dog.
'Buy a super vacuum cleaner,
Pay the vet and start a blog!'


 'You'll have to do dog-training classes!
Learn to sit; to fetch; say ''Please''. '
We tried it once and it was boring
Except - my dog can count to three!


 We started classes of our own
My dog and I, in our own home
The classes all were based on this -
'Do as I say, then have a bone!'


 'P/E,' said I (feeling a fool)
Every morn' at half past eight
The high-jump, starting with a stool
Progressing to the garden gate


 At ten we did arithmetic
The calendar was opened out
'Pay attention little dog -
Weekends and holidays don't count!'


 In afternoons she'd learn to sit
With other people, till she's fed
She wags her tail to gain their trust
Then she remembers all I've said.


 The final lesson took a while
But finally she understood
'Is it three days, not counting hols'?
Then come and meet me in the wood.'


 I've sold her now a dozen times
And she's had twelve enormous bones
She stays with them three working days
The cheque has cleared - then she runs home!