JUST JUSTICE-ITS THAT SIMPLE!!!

THE PRESENT DAY.....

LETTER TO WHO-EVER...

Sir/Madam,

I'm Paula , from lancashire..... I am writing to you today to ask for your help with a matter very close to my heart. Please, please, help me raise awareness of how single disabled parents are treated, as i would hate for anything like this to happen to anyone else, although I know it already does.
I am struggling to know where to start but I'll try and make this as brief as possible.
I am a single parent with 2 boys 19 and 10. My eldest is on medication for panic attacks, anxiety, OCD etc, but despite this he has coped well.hes a very bright lad and I am very proud of him, he started his masters degree in university in September.     I have Fibromyalgia Syndrome this is a chronic pain/fatigue condition that affects my muscles, ligaments and tendons which undergo a physical change, making it very difficult for me to get around at times, and leaving me feeling devoid of energy.
My 10 year old has had difficulties for as long as i can remember. From the age of 6, he started school refusing, I knew he had problems with his writing and was constantly bullied by the other children in his class.
From the age of 8 years, his abscence from school had become a chronic problem, I was beside myself as to what to do as he rages out of control becomes destructive and at times even violent. We have had a complex problem in that he was school refusing and I was finding it extremely difficult in the mornings to get to grips with him, as my Fibrofog tends to be worse in the mornings and also when the weather is cold, this causes pain for me as well.
The Education social worker became involved, at first she was quite nice and helpful towards us, but she soon started to show another side. She would come to our home on a daily basis saying to my son that if he didnt go to school this proved that he didn't care about me and didn't love me and if I ended up in jail, it would be his fault. I don't think it is fair to emotionally blackmail any child, especially a child who is as sensitive as mine.

I kept insisting that I did not believe my son was simply being stubborn and that i felt there was something wrong, all in vain.
Upon my insistance, he was rushed an appointment through to CAHMS as he had other ongoing problems such as, he was too scared to go to the toilet alone, wouldnt sleep alone , would follow me or his brother around the house, He felt the need to be with someone constantly as this made him feel safe and secure. He didn't seem to understand the simple things which we take for granted and has had constant physical symptoms, headaches , tummyaches, feeling sick, constipation, which continue to this day.
He went to CAHMS and was apparently assessed, the CAHMS doctor said there was nothing wrong with him and he must resume school immediately.
I managed to get him in for a few days but the same pattern emerged - he would stick it out for a couple of days and then flatly refuse.

I was called to a meeting, child in need meeting number 4 to discuss what was going on, however, because the doctor had said there was nothing wrong and because of his ongoing refusal they started a core assessment on my family. I was told in no uncertain terms that if I failed to get him in school, I would be taken to court and my son would be placed on the Child Protection register, I just sat there and sobbed, I felt so lost.
My eldest son tried to reason with them by asking "What do you expect my mum to do? carry him ? she isnt well and can't do this" their reply was ITS NOT OUR PROBLEM!
The pressure was on, I was so scared I was going to lose him, I told him how important it was he went to school, he knew he didnt have a choice.....
Every morning for about a week he would wake up feeling sick, then he would clutch his throat saying he couldn't breath and would vomit. I was beside myself with worry, I couldn't keep doing this to my son, some mornings I would find myself crying with him through sheer frustration. It was horrible. I told Social Services what was happening and they told me they didnt care what he did, be it panic , vomit , he must get in school. I decided from there that Social Services were not taking his emotional wellbeing into consideration, so I had to do it.
I de-registered my son from school in January of this year, the very next day Social Services came round announcing they were calling a case conference as they felt i was 'purposely isolating my son from his peers'. The case conference was a farce , there were reports with gross inaccuracies and blatent lies, I exposed the CAHMS doctor for the lies he had told me regarding the non-diagnosis ,the only response i got from this doctor was the apparent training he had undertaken and the qualifications he allegedly had..... i quoted , code of practice, acts, legislations and protocols. I was fighting for my family, i'd done my homework and knew my stuff, I stood against them all, on my own, but to no avail. They put my child on the 'at risk' register for emotional and physical abuse. They have also implied I have what is called FII a variant of Munchausen Syndrome by proxy, insinuating that I was making his difficulties up to draw attention to myself.

If the matter wasn't so serious I would have laughed at them, it just seemed so unreal.
Since then I have found an independant consultant that specialises in learning difficulties, as Social Services wanted me to sign my son over to voluntary care.
My son was diagnosed with Aspergers, Tourettes, ODD, ADD scores 8out of 9 inattention,3out of 5 hyperactivity,4 out of 4, and Sensory Integration Dysfunction. I believe this speaks for itself. I'm in the process of taking the camhs doctor to the General Medical Council and the LOCAL AUTHORITY to judicial review in the high courts in London as they will not assess my son for special needs. He has been without an education now for two years, Social Services will not assess my sons needs or mine for that matter as they feel we do not fit their criteria. I have found the service to be absolutly deplorable. My social worker suggested I sign him over to volutary care, so that they may assess him in a different enviroment, I asked her on that occasion to leave my home, I was gravely upset.
I feel their plan of action is to leave us with as little support as possible and they are waiting for me to drop.
The entire situation has had a massive impact on my illness, my anxiety at times is through the roof, my muscles ache constantly, I am in a state of exhaustion. I cannot rest during the day, if I sleep my son panics as he is then on his own. His social life is zero and has been for four years as has mine. I'm screaming inside at the unjust way we have and are being treated. We need help yet no-one will help us because the local authorities doctor says there is nothing wrong, and thats how it stands until i can prove otherwise. Isolation feels like a sentence, the question is what did we ever do wrong? The Local Authority are itching to get a prosecution underway, as I have, in their eyes allegedly violated section 444 of the education act 1996. I am awaiting to attend the judicial review in the high courts on the 10th of November. Meanwhile I can only watch as my son gets worse, his tics, obsessions and short term memory are at an all time high, I try my best to keep his spirits up, but now feel I'm sinking myself. I am no match for the corrupt professionals , Social Services and such like. They dont care about us, despite their 'Duty of Care'.

Unfortunately, that was my first mistake you see, once upon a time I actually thought they did care and would have been happy to help with easing our situation.
I may be in the midst of a nightmare as on top of everything else now the LEA are threatening prosecution.

I have now been told by my barrister that I may well serve a prison sentence as in their eyes I am keeping my son off school purposely. I am also told that at the case conference review 6th october Social Services are likely to initiate care proceedings. To say I'm scared is an understatement, they are coming at me from all sides, but I would like to keep you informed no matter what happens, I pray this is agreeable to you. If they remove my son that will be the end for me as without him, I will die inside.

You must have heard that 400 children in this country have been removed from their families because the families were too poor, or because the parents had learning dificulties, yes ???

I invite you good people to open your eyes as 3,500 children in the UK have been removed because their parents are disabled. I jest you not!!!!
I'm not sure if anyone can do anything about it but I just needed you to know how these authorities treat people. I feel they see the vunerability in people and then use it against them, giving no consideration for the affect it has on families. Like many others I know who have fell prey to there tactlessness, it is indeed an experience I will never have the good fortune to forget.

I humbled myself to these people and was totally honest, alas this was a grave mistake as they used my open honesty against me at every turn. I'm afraid they leave me with an ingrained distrust of the LEA, Social Services, and the medical profession which is very sad in this day and age.

I respectfully ask you take note of this case and intentional failings of the multi-disaplinary teams and how they are far too quick to judge, assume far too much and in a complex situation, do not take the time to listen, do not take the time to give a parent the benefit of the doubt, its a shame they must all stick together and follow one view when these professionals should have there own individual contributions, not what is tainted by one persons misjudgement.

i guess in a weird way, im glad we have fought so hard and for so long ,as along this hellish journey,my eyes have been opened to the realities of government policy. The lack of humanity, common decency and compassion and the corruption that eminates from the very pores of local authorities, professionals, front line social services the LEA and very sadly the institutions that profess to fight a childs corner, many accumulating large sums of money all in the name of child protection......

the scary part of what i have learned is that a child can be removed from a family on the basis of probable abuse in the future. So a parent can be completely innocent,but because a social worker is of the opinion they are likely to suffer neglect, emotional/physical abuse some time in the future for whatever reason your child can be removed, placed with foster carers and adopted out in a very short space of time.

this surely has to change, no wonder public opinion of the social services is publicised so badly, it is nothing short of child abduction from our very own government.

i have personal experience and indeed have many friends that have lost their children and are not allowed to go to the media with their story as the family courts forbid such actions and serve injunctions so that this very thing never reaches the public arena.

government adoption targets of 40% is the driving force behind this and if the local authorities play ball they gain financially for their efforts.....

believe it, i do not jest.....

www.fassit.co.uk    see for yourself....

Paula

THE STORM BEFORE THE STORM

I got married in 1993 my son was 4 at the time....
i took to married life quite well we moved into a new house the area wasnt perfect but it was a lot bigger than my previous home.
D found a well paid job at his dads firm and i started college studying child psychology and also took up a hairdresser/beauty therapy course nvq level 2....
one morning i woke a up for school an carried A downstairs, i opened the curtains to let some light into the livingroom, only i was shocked as all i could see was blackness.....was it still nightime ???.
confused i opened the front door to discover it had been painted with black gloss along with all the windows downstairs in the house.
Even the lawn had been painted blue and pink and along the back wall someone had painted obscenities to the affect of GET OUT TRASH....lovely welcome to the area i must say......
 From that day on we were burgled a total of 14 times in 3 months, apparently some local druggies had seen our standard of living and the stuff we had and had decided to target us..... they didnt care wether they broke in day or night it didnt matter to them....
once my husband and i pulled the mattress onto the living room floor in an attempt to catch whoever it was, that night we waited and waited eventually falling asleep.......it was a horrible way to live,we could never truely relax...
Next thing i woke up feeling cold and wet, D was shouting , someone had thrown a metal mopbucket through the livingroom window with a brick inside it........ i just lay their, in disbelief, covered in shardes of glass, my legs and face bleeding.....

another night we actually heard them break in D went downstairs to check, we think he disturbed them as a window was open our video player was gone and the phone line had been cut from the inside. i was so scared, just the thought of someone being downstairs whilst we slept

D had to run to the phonebox to ring the police , i begged him not to leave me alone i was so scared..... he gave me his gun he used for target practice the ones with the small metal pellets and told me to point it at the door just in case anyone came back..... So there i was sat on the top stair holding this big rifle thing watching it quiver in my hands as i guarded the front door., my heart pounding out of my chest.

it all came to a head one day when D s family came down, we had found out who was responsible for all of this , but D s brothers wernt impressed he gathered a few lads together and charged round the guys house. the guy wasnt in at the time but they had frightened his girlfriend apparently......

They all came back to wait.....Next thing there was a knock at the door, then everyone started screaming GET DOWN.... in the chaos that followed i made my way upstairs to my son and we both hit the floor.....We heard a big crack through the air and then silence.......This hardman had decided to warn us off and came to my home with a shotgun, it turned out he had pointed the gun at a few of the lads but in the end decided to fire a warning shot in the air.....

.the same day i walked out of my home grabbing basic essentials i had been begging the housing dept to help re-house us they had done nothing, so i declared my family homeless. we were ping ponged btween the inlaws....

finally the housing offered us a house elsewhere, the area seemed ok , inside the house   was little better than derelict, we were that desperate to have a place of our own again that we worked flat out round the clock in mid winter to make it habitable.
i enrolled my son into the local school, D was back in work things seemed to settle.....
.
 early 1995 i discovered i was pregnant,i was exstatic we had been trying for a baby for just over 2 years , A was now 8 he and D were so excited.....i had to cold turkey off my anti-depressants as it would harm the baby, it was awful emotionally i was all over the place but i knew i was doing the right thing.i cried most of the time as i remember, the only thing that cheered me was the fact i had this wonderful little life inside my tummy, i wouldnt jepordise that for anything...

i was 7mths pregnant when tragedy struck, there was a field near were we lived, A had gone on there with his friend, it was summer. unknown to me his friend had taken a golf club on there and as he tried to whack the golfball ,he followed through bringing the metal end up into A s face. the bridge of his nose was crushed right btween his eyes. it was a mums worst nightmare.....by the time i got to him he was screaming i was inconsolable it is/was something i will never forget, as blood poured over face i honestly thought he had lost an eye.

..
In october i went into labour and it had been agreed i would have him at home, i was going through my hippy phase with the oil burners and lavender lol.....
it came to a point however a few minutes before he was born that i needed something the pain being unbearable i begged for gas and air only to be told they were extremely sorry but they had forgotten to fill the canester before they set out!! hmmmm

born 8lb 12oz he made his presence known right from the start, he was so big and what a loud cry he had!!!! he was lovely , beautiful, i was floating on air for weeks after....
as time passed and D passed his driving test he was at home less and less, god knows i tried to make him see that family life was a pleasant experience but he prefered the pub unfortunately....
When baby C was 10weeks old he got an awful bad chest, i remember i kept ringing the doctor asking his advice as he was too young for any real medication.... so id melted vicks in some hot water and let it evapourate into the room.....he started to refuse his feeds which worried me even more. i went to pick him up out of his bouncy chair one night as he didnt look well at all, his skin was ashen his lips darker. i picked him up and screamed for D he wasnt breathing. i ran straight out of the front door, patting his back kissing his cheek, gently blowing into his mouth.....wether it was adrenaline or not i dont know but i got this awful feelin that ran straight through my body, i remember screamin AMBULANCE NOW D.....over and over ....id never been so scared in my life......He started to breath again very shallow, we got him to the hospital and they said it was brochilitus....its just something that a mother never forgets, ever.....
 
C was now 1yr old and what a bruiser he was, he weighed 2stone already and had ripples like one of those akito dogs lol.....i was so very proud of him everyone would comment on how big he was not just weight wise but height too.....as soon as he could walk he would run out into the back garden in his big saggy nappy gurglin away as he hurled big boulders as if they were pebbles.....
i think even back then i knew that C was a bit different, not in a bad way, he just needed help to play, you would never see him playing alone , he always needed an adult to join him , to guide him.....

unfortunately in 1998 Cs father and i split up , he was drinking a lot and was hardly home, unknown to me a large chunk of his wages were going into slot machines, which he had a problem with........he was also quite controling didnt like me going out, didnt like me seeing friends and when i got back home i had the spanish inquisition to answer too, it was terrible.
i gave him the ultimatum he had to chose between getting to know his family without his habits or he left. he didnt change and in the end became quite agressive so i kicked his backside through the frontdoor and out of my life as me and my sons deserved better......within days he was seeing a 16yr old girl who had just left school, he was 29 enough said.....

time passed and i was getting used to being on my own, i found a new sense of independance and it was me and my boys, i liked it that way.....
no more spanish inquisitions if i ever went out, no more arguements, no more, it felt great......
i made a couple of friends too on the same street, both single mums, j had 3 children one was a baby and jj had 2 and was pregnant.
they were great fun j was a little unstable i sensed that straight away but she was very kind and thoughtful, quite genuine too which was a rarity in itself.....

i started to go out with them and really enjoyed their company, it was good for me as i didnt have any family etc.
then D started to come regularly to see the boys only he would linger  in the house and ask questions that were really none of his business.....then neighbours said they kept spotting his car up the side of the school across the road. i thought it strange but tried to put it out of my head.....then he started to come round he found the lamest excuses, in the end though it was arkward, i had to tell him that unless he had specifically come round to see the boys i wasnt prepared to let him in.....

he didnt like the fact he knew nothing of my social life, he was used to being in control....
he started banging on the front door, shouting BITCH, SLAG, WHORE, through the letterbox, on one occasion he tried to kick the door in, another time he climbed through my bedroom window and scared the kids half to death.....
neighbours rang the police on several occasions, they never got him he would be gone by the time they got round.....
during this time my eldest A had become extremely quiete, and one day D had come round shouting through the letterbox as usual, A who was 11 by that time just sat in front of the tv and stared, i wouldnt mind but it wasnt even on a channel it was fuzzing, and he  just stared and stared.....i think at that point alarm bells rang!!!
this wasnt normal for my son, their was no reaction, just nothing.....

anyway being on my own with the boys usually ment taking them everywhere with me, it was the summer holidays and it was hard work shopping with them both in tow...
id asked my friend from across the way to watch C for a couple of hours whilst i did the shopping, she didnt mind as she had her own anyway......
this turned into a weekly venture, i had noted that more often than not she let the children play in the next door neighbours back garden.

this was fine with me as although i didnt know her neighbours personally i guess i trusted her judgement.

then whilst drawing with C one night he was only 4 at the time, he told me as clearly as a 4yr old could that the teenage boy from my friends next door neighbours had been abusing all the kids whilst they were in his very own back garden and shed.....

il never forget how i felt that day, C was 1 of 5 children that were abused, ages 3,4,4,6,8, the other children confirmed what C had said my world fell apart i wanted to kill him.....
police were called , child protection you name it....the two eldest girls were took to be interviewed in manchester they clammed up after seeing the police and the cameras on them.
even though this sounds horrid it was believed the girls wouldnt speak as they didnt want to get the abuser into trouble, they actually wanted the sick games to continue.
after that the offender found out that we were the family that had started the accusations, they were round banging on the windows shouting abuse etc.
on one occasion i sent my eldest 11 at the time to the nearby shop, before he could get there the abuser and his mate had seen him and they both laid into him with hockey sticks, broke his arm.

the police caught up with him and warned the abuser off, told him to stay well away.....i was livid id stashed a snooker cue and yard brush behind the door in case he passed the house i wanted that little shit to pay for what he had done....
as the weeks passed things settled somewhat, though when we walked down the street the abuser would shout obsanities after us.....one time me and C were walkin to nursery and he was across the road, he hurled a huge plank of wood across the street at us......
other times when we saw him he would walk past us full of smiles saying hiya C and he would wink at him....grrrrrrrr

time passed and my friend j was getting severely depressed,it got so bad that the social services were ready to take the children as her family were away on holiday, she had no-one.
i told the social services i felt it would be better for all concerned that whilst my friend got treatment i would care for the children in their home, maintain the routine get them into school etc. they agreed so i did, for a fortnight until their mum came home.
j returned she seemed brighter but she kept swanning off to her room for hours whilst i cared for her children downstairs. At that point i guess my presence wasnt doing j any good as she had to get back on track tending to her children. So i left her to it, hoping things would work out.

id heard the other mum to 2 of the children that had been abused was having a rough time also as she had just had a baby , split with her partner and was going down hill.
me being me i offered to give her a hand, just did afew errands for her, washed up etc.
during this time we become firm friends.....
6months down the line C became very poorly, during this time he told me my friends girls had been making him do stuff like eating soil or they wouldnt be his friend. hence the horrific blisters he had on his tongue and down his throat with the thrush that accompanied it......he couldnt eat, drink , his temperature flaired his weight plummeted i was sooo worried.
the girls made up games apparently where connah was an animal and they used various objects on him, sticks stones and broken toys.....in a sexual manner.

i guess this was the point at which i flipped out, i told my friend what they had done and obviously she wouldnt believe it, at least not until she kept seeing stones and dirt in the babies nappy.
i rang the ss as a matter of urgency their solution to our problem was to tell me to keep my son away from the girls.....
to cut a long story short my friend had a big family living locally and was beside herself with shame and embarrasment about what her girls had done.
she wanted to switch off and forget about it as quickly as possible and i guess with me around it was a constant reminder to her.......after my windows were potted twice i decided to move away....

it hurt however as i knew for various reasons that a lot of children around their werent safe, not because of parental abuse but because of parental ignorance.
things happened in front of their faces and they turned a blind eye.....i didnt want to be around that, i wanted better for my children.

we moved house and i was diagnosed with fibromyalgia syndrome, was by that time quite depressed myself......i had real problems getting my head around what fibromyalgia ment for me and the impact it would have on my body and in the future.
i knew my mum had the same thing and had been bedridden for years , couldnt walk and her spine had fused together, that was what id be like in time, i couldnt believe it.

then a neighbour came round one day singing my son C s praises , that he was so polite and well behaved. erm could he come round for tea tomorrow ???
he gets on so well with my son, their like the terrible twins she said,
after C mithering the hell out of me i agreed.
this became a regular occurance, id checked the neighbour out she was a popular member of the church comunity, had a lovely home, well dressed children, seemed fine.....

about this time A was put on medication for panic attacks i was worried about him, he had definate issues around dust or anything getting on his hands, he would rage....

so when he made a couple of friends on the next street i was very happy for him as he had always been a loner.....

one night his friend was having a sleep over so A had asked if it was ok, apparently his friend had a shed that was converted into a makeshift living room with electric supply , everything....

i mulled it over and agreed .....the next thing i knew was A was banging on the front door at 3.00am in the morning.i opened the door to find A and his other friend breathless from running but glad to be back......When they calmed down they explained what had happened , apparently this so called friend with the shed thought it was hilarious to pick on the quietest their, which was my son, after consuming large amounts of his fathers alcohol he plugged in an electric hedge trimmer, starting it up, the trimmer ripped through the power cord leaving it live and of course very dangerous. The idiot had decided to take hold of the live wire and try to prod A with it.....making him dance around to avoid it....strange thing was as he told me it was like he was reading a shopping list, no emotion whatsoever.

after about a year id noticed a definate change in C s behaviour he had started running off to the park at the end of our street, an i dont know alarm bells just rang in my head, something wasnt right.....the neighbours lad often did this but she didnt seem to mind looking all over the place for him, where as my boy was younger an i didnt want him running off anywhere.....

somtimes my heart was in my mouth running up an down the streets trying to find him, i would always find him in some makeshift den or something. my gut told me not to trust this boy, but then again so much had happened in the past perhaps that was clouding my judgement...

This time C told A my eldest son  A that the neighbours son had been doing stuff to him and a girl from the corner house that had learning difficulties, he had described a time that the boy was forcing himself on her and C said leave her alone she doesnt like it......but the lad just dragged her to the floor as she screamed  and did it anyway.....

i reported it to the ss, went down to their office the next day, i was told they would have to do some checks,they would get back to me within a fortnight....they never did.  i inquired asking what the hell was going on as this boy went to my sons school.  apparently the case had been closed it had been filed away.....