poetry

~i hate the fact that you dont even try
that you just leave me hanging there without a goodbye
and just when i thought that youd set things back
you dont even realize its you that i lack~

felt so alone in my world
lost in the desrt mind.
missing pieces of my existence
caring only for your kind.
apparent it was dead.
seemed to be alive.
your idiotic lies
they actually survived.
imagined you alone.
what can you do now?
still sitting on your throne
i found a way to bring you down.
i crawl into my corner.
let me take my life away.
but ive found a part of my cure.
so glad shes here today.

my mind walks away feeling as if it is out of place. yet, no blame is put upon it. soon the memories will be erased. the painful memories. the ones that filled my mind and cramped it up to the last space. my mind still walks til the last morsel of hate is gone and picked away.
i lay in bed looking so dead
not thinking at all and staring at the wall
my dried up eyes are as blank as the skies
i wish for it to return before i crash, die, and burn
my mind still drifts off trying ot kill itself to live with no pain.
one day it will come back and stay in place locked up in my head in its own little case

THE EVERYTHING
the illusions are so real that they're fake
the winding confusion of my face
the impailing shouts that cramp my eyes
the swelling fog crowding the skies
the careless comments of him
the light always seeming too dim
the churning stomach eof mine
the pins stuck into my crooked spine
the time that's kept is always wrong
the gusting wind still blowing strong
the "no tresspassing" signs that let you in
the race sthat forbid you to win
the limits that are never crossed
and this is how my life is lost

BLOODSTREAM
its creeping through me
down my spine
into my lungs
no choice but to cry
the pain is so bleak
it curses my mind
never to speak
always confined
twisting and turning
im seen inside out
smelling the burning
of the driest drough
no person no pill
has eased the pain
for i am too ill
this will never drain
wont ever be gone
it just wont end
feeling like a pawn
down i descend

nothing more?
nothing more will come from you
nothing less?
no, everything is falling
he loves me?
well, i thought he did
he loves me not?
yah, thats the petal i always pick
i hate you,
but i cant place that in your head
i love you,
but unplaced it is as well
its alright.
you can hate me. i dont care
dont look
hide your eyes from my face
why?
why did i have to confront you anyway?