~Memoirs Of a Broken Spirit~

Dedicated to my two Grandfathers, who fought with dignity until the very end xx

My favourite poem

I Was Gone
John G. Sutton

I was gone this morning
When I looked in the mirror to comb my hair
In the living room I searched
There was no one in my chair

I was gone this afternoon
When I tried to dry your tears
It's so hard to see you crying
For those long ago years

I was gone this evening
As you went to climb the stair
Then you turned but didn't see me
My footsteps trod the air

I was gone in the moonlight
As the silent silver shone
Then I heard you whisper my name
But I was gone.

Into The Darkness

She opened her eyes

And he was gone

Yet his presence hung over her

Like a shadow of malevolence

Blocking all signs of sunlight from her blank and staring eyes

Stripped of what was only hers to give

Stolen what was never his to take

In her protective ball she could still feel his touch on her naked body

And there like a cattle brand red hot and scarring he stayed

All fall down

Fatty, four eyes, Ugly Girl!

Silently living in a whispered world

Pull her hair, Dis her size

Do you know, at night she cries?

Hate her, Bait her, Twist the knife

Do you think she’d take her life?

Make her suffer, Make her bleed

Dangle the rope, Plant the Seed

A girl so invisible, A girl with a frown

Broken eyes, Just tear her down

Now your Sorry she’s moved on

The Rope it twisted, Now she’s GONE …

Rainbows

Like a ray of sunshine

She stole her way in

Destroying the darkness whilst she endured her own

Spreading rainbows, whilst she saw monotone

She loosened the bounds that held me

Whilst hers tightened even more

Never once did she ask for anything

Yet she gave everything

Like a Diamond amongst the pebbles

Like a Star in the midnight sky

She shines..

IF ONLY YOU COULD SEE!!

Silent secrets

She holds her head in her hands and closes her tired eyes
As he shoots his latest set of insults and issues in her direction
What can she do?
Nothing, nothing but take it
She silently pleas for a moments peace
Yet she wants to shout out
Wants him to see how much she hurts
How much HE has hurt her.
With unkind words
And unseeing eyes
He has stolen her shine
Blocked out by the wall
He helped her put up
Protecting the heart
He’s slowly destroying
~x~
At night she weeps
Slowly her world is shrinking, sinking
The waters growing darker
Her body too tired to keep treading the water
Her mind to tired to fight it
Yet she’s silently screaming, calling out
For someone to save her,
See beneath the mask.
She hides the bruises under her skin
The wounds cut deep
But she’s learned how to hide them
She hides them well
Hold the smile, Keep the peace

Silently she screams to be heard
But only deaf ears pass her by

Behind the mask
No one knew the dark she endured
For many days and nights
Protected in the bubble she made
Dark memories starving her of light

No one came, they never heard
Her whisper quiet pleas
As she shrunk inside herself
Fell down in the debris

Soon she learned, she had just her
No one could aid the task
She stood up tall, pulled back her hair
And then put on her mask

She smiled and laughed they never knew
Who she was inside
When at night as they were sleeping dreams
She sat up and she cried

Now as time, is moving further on
She beginning to see
That people can care and time can teach
Now she’s learning to be

Her green eyes have been opened

Her souls started its healing
She sees there’s still so much to learn
In the beauty that’s revealing

The wounds may close but leave a scar
And with every passing day
The pain may dull, the mask may slip
But they’ll never fade away

Stealing dreams

Too tired to stop
Too tired to try
Too tired to Argue
Just leave me to cry
A mind never resting,
In sleep, still awake
Bringing no respite
No sign of a break
Dreams come so vivid
Dip me in deep
Their living my waking
And stealing my sleep
Floating through daylight
My mind in a Haze
Memories like grazes
Stinging my days
relationships that batter me
Leave feelings that bruise
In sleep they are haunting me
And each night i lose
Give me a moment
Give me some peace
My mind shut it down
Let this waking sleep cease
Im too tired to stop fighting
Too tired to try
Just so tired of arguing
Now too tired to cry

Domina rose

I am a Rose,

Deep and Red, enshrined by Aphrodite,

a part of mother nature.

How my Feminine, scents seduce you,

How My Soft velvet petals melt into your skin

At its touch. (traditum vestri voluntas)*

Hold me, Hold me as if will break.

Hold me as if i will float away, breaking our maiden spring,

Blown into the warm indian summer of Aestas creations,

Deprived of your protective arms.

Of the love in which my body was nurtured.

Though i am delicate in my beauty , Beneath

i hold a fortress of pain, be careless and

feel my sting, In your deceite,

watch your body cry.Weep

Tears as red as the rose you trample

and thick as the binds you tore down,

I am a rose, as deep and red as an ocean

of blood, and you, My Love. My Love...

(intus sulum mulier lies a rose , quod sulum vir suus Nurturer) **

* surrender your wish

** in every woman lies a rose and every man her nurturer

I Just wrote this now, why? just one of them; A line pops in your head moment , go with the flow, I have no reason for choosing this story it just came that way as i wrote it in 5-10 minute, .. hope ya like the poem xx

~ In the silence ~

In the silence i hear your laugh

Even though you are not here.

In the sunshine i see your smile

how brightly it appears.

When i cry i feel your touch

tingling on my skin, and when

im cold i feel your arms

slowly closing in. When i dream

you hold my hand, and whisper

just to me, you stroke my hair

and kiss my head, you make me

so happy. But when i wake it all

falls down, i watch you walk away

We never knew our time was through,

Why did they, not let you stay.

I guess that you were needed,

the brightest of them all, and

maybe when they're done with you

again their let you fall. Straight down

from your heaven, I'll keep you safe

from harm, you can spend eternity,

wrapped up in my arms.

XxX For a Boy XxX

I saw a boy he looked so sad

Walking down a country track

I saw the sadness in his eyes

As he slowly turned his back

I dont know where he wondered to

Or if we'll meet again

But i hope hes somewhere safe and warm

And he knows he has a friend

i've seen behind those tired eyes

Felt his souls gentle touch

And although we've never actually spoke

To me he means so much

Which ever track you wonder down

Where ever it may lead

on your travels you touched someones heart

and in it laid a seed

That bloomed into a flower

So beautiful and strong

That flower is called *friendship*

and it blooms here all year long.

So take this poem *for a boy*

Keep it near your heart, your home

And all the time you keep it there

your never be alone.

*I am*

Like the wind through the chestnut tree

And the wave upon the shore

I am standing here today

Like i was the day before

I was feeling scared today

Fighting the solitude i own

You just turned the other way

And left me here alone

Like the air that filled your lungs today

That gently blew your hair

I was standing here today

You never saw me there

I tried to hold your hand tonight

You just walked away

Because im just as invisable to you,

As i was yesterday

Like a forgotten song, a long lost toy

I'll just fade away

Transparent to your eyes ill be

Just like, standing here today

I wanted to be your world just once

A place you felt secure

To hold you when your soul cried

When you couldnt take no more

Like the embers of a dying fire

I'll eventually fade away

But u wont see me, u wont care

Like you didnt yesterday.......

Fallen Angel

Silently she falls,but who will catch her

Weeping she calls out, screaming in mute..

Monotone rainbows, bathing her skin

Green eyes shimmer, like emerald kisses

Dont touch her, shes too bruised,

Dont ask her, she'll makes no sound,

Hold her gently,on the inside,

Listen, when she whispers.

Dont see her, shes a shadow

Look at her, see her shine

Behold her eyes,pools of green

Drowning in memories,searching for dreams

Remember her hidden smiles, you gave

Forget her hidden tears, she kept

Protect her from the bad, that stole

Expose her to the good,that can heal her soul

Shes felt cold, bruised by many

Shes felt sunshine,shone by few

Walk away, she's let go before

Stay, and she will learn to hold

Silenty she lays now, listen?

whispering her hearts secret dreams

Screaming out loud, to the world that cant hear her

A glow,laying in the shadows, fading away like dying embers

Now you see her? Now you Dont....

Touched by an Angel

Thank you for this season

I’m so glad we met

And even if now your moving on

I hold not one regret

Maybe the winds are changing

Your Angel errand ran

No matter what through all my days

I’ll be Thankful it begun

Forever I will Treasure the friend

That took the time to care

To look below the surface

And see the scars were there

If you really have to go now

If our precious time is through

I’m going to miss you being there

And me being there for you

For all you gave, I’m sure that

you never really knew

Just how much it meant to me

To have a Friend like you

Things happen for a reason

You came and now your going

Its hurts right now I feel so cold

My tears fall like it is snowing

For the tears I cry are special

They are tears of unique blend

Tears caused by someone’s shining soul

For you my Angel Friend

( I’ll Never Forget)

~ My Poetry ~