Beer, Bear, Body Bag: the Inspirational Story
of What Not to Feed Yogi
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By |
2007 marred dead and partially eaten at the Belgrade Zoo, also known as the Good Hope
Garden located at the heart of the city of
which occurred between the 15th and the 19th of August this year, hosting as many as half
a million people yearning for fermented, carbonated, yeasty beverages. Circumstances on the
death are not clear.
According to police, mobile phones, bricks, stones and beer cans were found inside the
cage with the bears and upon being found, the body of the man was entirely naked. Odder
yet, all the man's clothing had been in tact within the cage. Vuk Bojovic, Zoo Director of the
BelgradeZoo believed the man to be either "drunk or drugged" claiming that, "only and idiot
would jump into the bear cage,".
Local residents paint a different portrait of a courageous blaggard tossing stones and bricks
at hungry, loud and foul-smelling bears in a binge of freelance negative-reinforcement bear training
that had gotten so heated, the man threw his mobile phone at one of the bears absent-mindedly
and had to muster enough faux heroism to crawl into the cage, batting at the animals and using
his garments as traditional bull-fighting "muletas as he dodged their advances. All for naught: the
man found himself torn to pieces by the bears before long and the eye-witnesses, who shall
remain nameless, made way for the first opportune restroom facility to expel their meals and
excessively consumed waterfalls of beer.
