Hodgkins Lymphoma Awareness

~My Journey Battling Cancer and Graft vs. Host Disease ~ ~Fighting for my life each day with end stage lung disease

My Journal

1,328 daysOr 3 years, 7 months, 18 days. Or let's get more technical:

114,739,200 seconds

1,912,320 minutes

31,872 hours

189 weeks

Happy ThanksgivingI'm home and I truly believe in the saying, "Home is where the heart is." I haven't lived in many places my whole life, but I now value home more than ever. It is a place of comfort, love and security.

I came home yesterday afternoon, Tuesday. I am back to being more stable now with my breathing and coughing. I have gone up on my favorite Prednisone to try to kick the bronchitis out as well as some other medicines to manage my symptoms. It was nice to sleep in my own bed last night and to be with my parents.

Tomorrow will be a nice, relaxing day filled with many blessings. Shelley, John and Alden will come over here to my parents. It will be the six (seven) of us. I am thankful to be here still celebrating another Thanksgiving with my family.

I hope all of you have a beautiful day spent with family and friends. Remember to really think about all that you should be thankful for and give prayers to those that are suffering or going through some rough times.

Happy Thanksgiving and Bless you all.
Jennifer
Is it possible to get sick when you're already sick?Yes, it is. Many of you are wondering where I am. Unfortunately I'm not out and about having a good time. I am sick. I have been for over two weeks now. My breathing and coughing had started worsening and I got a sore throat. I could tell it felt different than my normal everyday struggle with breathing. I started an antibiotic and finished only to find myself worsening. I could feel a lot of congestion in my chest, not good. I have been sleeping the days and nights away not moving more than five feet. Completely exhausted. I went for a chest xray this past Monday and saw my oncologist Dr. Hedlund. The xray showed no signs of pneumonia, I was diagnosed with bronchitis. I started a new antibioiitic (more potent.) Denise, my nurse came by the house this past Wednesday to see me and suggested I be admitted to the Hospice Home. http://www.hospiceofsouthernmaine.org/id85.html Here they manage my pain and symptoms to bring me relief and I get 24/7 care and rest. They have added a bunch of new medications to help with my bronchitis and my breathing. There is a wonderful staff here and it is so very peaceful. I have primarily been sleeping. My body needs it since I have been coughing continuously for so long. My parents also needed a break too, since they were lacking sleep from listening to me cough so much. We are all hoping that I will be able to go home next week before Thanksgiving. Until then, I am resting and trying to gain some strength back. The cold weather has come upon us and this makes it even harder on my breathing. When going outside I have to wear a scarf so the wind doesn't take my breath away. I never thought I would have to be "admitted" again. I have to say though, Hospice is NOTHING like a hospital. You don't get poked and prodded with needles. You don't have nurses waking you up every four hours to take vitals. You don't have to use the hats to go to the bathroom in. No beeping of machines, no ringing bells. It is so comfortable. Right now there are only six patients here. There is a total of 18 beds. I am very thankful that I have hospice helping me and my family. I have an excellent staff from Hospice of Southern Maine. Oh and I can order food whenever I want! So I can be the night owl I am and then get up at 11AM and still get breakfast if I want it. It's like staying at a hotel.

OK, enough of being funny. This isn't funny, it's terrible. I, my family, are in an awful phase of our lives. We are angry, sad, confused, disappointed. Just knowing there is nothing we can do to fix it, devestates us all. Yes, we take one day at a time. Yes we hold onto hope. But to have to do it 24/7 365 days a year gets very exhausting, especially when going on four years of it. I am tired period.