Self Pity
People that wallow in self pity really get my goat. This type of behaviour is extremely destructive and many people do not realize the effect they have on others and especially the people that care about them.
When you are feeling sorry for yourself it is impossible for someone who cares to help you. Self-pity will encourage you to focus on the negatives in your life and not the positives. I know many people like this. Their self-pity can get so bad sometimes that they start to put down others. They will criticize and bully people without even realizing it.
The crazy thing about self-pity is that the person is usually crying out for help. They want someone to help them, but they just do not know how to ask for it. Buy remaining in their pathetic state of self-pity they believe that this behaviour will get the message across the people in their life that care about them. But their loved do not receive this message, what they see is someone who is being quite pathetic. Nobody wants to be around someone who is negative about everything in life. Eventually you will be left on your own if you continue along your path of feeling sorry for yourself.
Your refusal to ask for what you need from your loved ones or friends will be your downfall. They have no idea what you need, and they will be growing tired of being in the company of someone who cannot see the good in anything. What will end up happening is your friends, and loved ones will throw their hands up in frustration and walk away.
You may not realize how your behaviour is affecting others. That’s understandable if you have suffered a huge loss or blow in life. But, you need to open your eyes and take a look around you. Your friends and family are on your side and when you insist on remaining in this negative state, they feel useless, criticized and ostracized. You will eventually lose many people that you care about and more importantly if you have children. Your negative behaviour will affect them more than you know.
Do you want your children growing up learning to sulk and act sorry for themselves when they do not get their own way or when life deals them a tragic blow. No; you would want your kids to have a positive attitude and pick themselves up off the ground and get on with life.
You would be telling them to get over it. This is exactly what you should do, get over it and formulate a plan on how you are going to deal with the woes in your life. Sometimes you may not know how you are going to deal with whatever is happening in your life to cause you to revert to wallowing in self-pity.
Eventually everything will fall into place. Things do have a way of working themselves out for the better. Remember that most things are sent to try us, to test our strength and try our patience. Everything you are going through now is happening for a reason. You just do not know it yet.
Copyright © 2008 Janelle Coulton
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