Jean Schroeder Malin
In Loving Memory : 2-05-61 to 7-21-06
Jean Schroeder Malin
This website is in honor of my friend, Jean Malin, who lost her battle with crippling chronic pain from Adhesive Arachnoiditis, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue and Severe Spinal Damage. Her body created Adhesive Arachnoid Scar Tissue from a failed back surgery in her lumbar region. This condition is one of the highest levels of pain known to man. Her courage in fighting this on a daily basis, dealing with the changes in her body and the limits placed upon her, continues to inspire me to this day.
We lost Jean on July 21, 2006 after a five day battle to save her life, as her body was shutting down day by day. For years, Jean did not know a day without pain. Pain so debilitating it ruled her life on a daily basis. I often wonder if her children remember a time before their mother was stricken with health problems. I hope this website will give us a chance to talk about the Jean we knew individually and to help those boys know different aspects of their Mom.
Jean began her early years in Topeka, Kansas. She was a carefree spirit that was eager to experience life and wasn't afraid to go out on new adventures. Her adventures took her to Rapid City, South Dakota, San Jose, California, Albuquerque, New Mexico and then Phoenix, Arizona where she settled down with her beloved family.
Jean loved the Black Hills of South Dakota and she lived in them for a few years of her life. She was a lover of nature and all that God has provided us. San Jose, California was Jean's number one favorite place in the world. She talked of the beauty of the coast and the smell of the ocean. She longed to go back to the ocean someday, and that dream was realized when she attended her brother's wedding. Her early travels took her to the southwest, where she would eventually plant roots and start a family. Phoenix, Arizona was her final home and she loved the clean beauty of the desert, the palm trees, the fruit trees, with lemon being her favorite. She was suited for the southwest because of her creative, artsy interests. She worked in an art gallery in Albuquerque for a short time selling prints to local businesses. This enabled her to carry out a dream of being in the art world and she loved it.
Jean's family and friends were the most important part of her life and she said this many times and showed us all through phone calls, cards and well wishes. Even during her extreme suffering, Jean would call to see how I was doing, or send a card or email. She always thought of others even when it would have been okay to think of herself and her suffering. It shows her strength of spirit and I still feel her with me to this day. Her spirit lives on.
My plan for this website is for it to be an ongoing labor of love. It will be a constant work in progress and I hope to have those who love her use this site as a place to heal, to talk about your memories and to share with all that miss her. Jean was a strong believer in Christ and because of this, I know we will be reunited again someday in Heaven. I look forward to seeing her dance to the music again and to walk free of pain.
For those that live with chronic pain, and I am one, light a candle for my friend that lost her life because of it. The changes in our bodies because of the medications, the stress etc needs to be legitimatized in the eyes of the general population. I can't imagine that anyone would pretend to have problems so they can lose out on living in the rest of the world, miss their childrens sporting events and school functions and tax your closest relationships. Unless you have suffered from extreme nerve pain, you can not empathize or relate to how it tears down your mind and body day by day. It effects your relationships and how you respond to those that live closest to you. Even though you love them dearly, you snap and bite out of sheer frustration. You are grateful for their acts of kindness and really wish to act with appreciation. You pray that no one holds it against you when you can't keep your house clean or be relied upon to hold a family holiday or even to show up for it, if it's at someone else's house. You hope your friends will still try to set up times to see you even when you've cancelled a dozen times previously. You are in a constant state of guilt over what you can't do and hope you'll be forgiven for that. Jean....we just loved you, and what you couldn't do, didn't matter to any us. We just wanted you happy and free of pain and now you are, dear friend.
For those of you that have people in your lives that you love, don't forget to tell them. You never know when someone will be taken away and you've lost that chance to make amends or to let them know how much they mean to you. Most everyone knows when they are loved, and I know Jean knew how much she was loved by all, but I'd give anything to have one more chance to talk to her and tell her.
Shelley O'Neal-Cumella
