JASON
Christian Ex-Gay Ministry
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Nützliche Bibelverse: 2 Timotheus 1:7, Matthäus 19:26
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„Der Teufel hat zwei falsche Brillen, die er vor die Augen
der Menschen setzt:; die eine ist eine kleine Brille, durch die die Sünde so
klein erscheint, dass man sie kaum sieht. Diese setzt der Teufel vor die Augen
der Menschen, wenn sie vorhaben, zu sündigen; die andere ist ein
Vergrößerungsglas, durch das die Sünde so groß erscheint, dass sie nicht
vergeben werden kann. Diese Brille setzt der Teufel vor das Auge der Menschen,
wenn sie gesündigt haben.“ (Thomas
Watson, „The Ten Commandments“)
Wir
arbeiten völlig uneigennützig. Alle unsere Dienste sind umsonst.
Wir wollen nur etwas von der Liebe weitergeben, die Jesus uns
tagtäglich schenkt. Wir
möchten an dieser Stelle ausdrücklich darauf hinweisen, dass wir keine
Psychologen oder Ärzte sind. Wir betreiben keine Psychotherapie,
sondern möchten als überzeugte Christen Menschen, die dies wünschen,
ehrenamtlich unterstützend beistehen. Menschen mit psychischen oder
körperlichen Problemen werden von uns an Fachärzte oder entsprechende
Therapeuten verwiesen.
Wir
geben auch keine medizinischen Ratschläge. Die Informationen von
international anerkannten Fachleuten (Psychologen, Psychiatern,
Geistlichen, Therapeuten...) wie Nicolosi, Satinover, Aardweg, Dr.
Christl Vohnholdt, Richard Cohen, Joe Dallas, Tim Wilkins usw., die wir
weitergeben bzw. deren Material wir gemeinsam lesen, beruhen auf
allgemein zugänglichen Informationen (Büchern, Artikeln usw.) sowie auf
Informationen, die uns von deren Mitarbeitern zugeschickt werden
(ebenfalls allgemein zugängliches Material). Es hilft uns sehr, wenn
wir erfahren, was anderen bei ihrem Heilungsweg geholfen hat.
Douglas McIntyre, co-founder of Homosexuals Anonymous
"We are not only responsible for our sin, but also powerless to keep from sinning."
Dr. Henry Cloud, Dr. John Townsend ("How People Grow")
Wir arbeiten völlig uneigennützig. Alle unsere Dienste sind umsonst. Wir wollen nur etwas von der Liebe weitergeben, die Jesus uns tagtäglich schenkt. Wir möchten an dieser Stelle ausdrücklich darauf hinweisen, dass wir keine Psychologen oder Ärzte sind. Wir betreiben keine Psychotherapie, sondern möchten als überzeugte Christen Menschen, die dies wünschen, ehrenamtlich unterstützend beistehen. Menschen mit psychischen oder körperlichen Problemen werden von uns an Fachärzte oder entsprechende Therapeuten verwiesen.
found something better..."
- Alan Chambers (Director of Exodus)
FAQ's
Empfohlene Bibelverse: Apostelgeschichte, Kapitel 3-4
Wir werden sexuell von dem angezogen, was anders ist als wir. Wir haben - aus welchen Gründen auch immer - in der Kindheit den Kontakt zur Welt der Männer (bzw. Frauen) verloren. Wir wollten nicht so sein wie sie und sie wurden zum Mysterium für uns. Jede Therapie beruht nun vor allem darauf, die eigene Männlichkeit (Weiblichkeit) wieder zu entdecken, sowie uns als Teil der heterosexuellen Schöpfung zu begreifen. Wir arbeiten daran, unser zerbrochenes Verhältnis zu Gott wiederherzustellen und die legitimen Bedürfnisse nach gleichgeschlechtlicher Liebe und Zuneigung, die uns meist in der Kindheit nicht erfüllt wurden, auf gesunde Art und Weise zu befriedigen.
Uns wird oft vorgeworfen, dass wir uns nur auf die konzentrieren, die in ihrer Kindheit durch ein Trauma gegangen sind oder ein schlechtes Verhältnis zum gleichgeschlechtlichen Elternteil hatten bzw. negative Erfahrungen in der homosexuellen Szene oder in gleichgeschlechtlichen Beziehungen gemacht haben. Der Rest der Homosexuellen sei ja schließlich so geboren und im Gegensatz zur ersten Gruppe kann und darf man da nichts daran ändern.
Abgesehen davon, dass - wie bereits mehrmals erwähnt - die Tatsache, dass irgendetwas "angeboren" ist, es nicht unbedingt richtig macht und auch in diesem Fall der Betroffene unter Umständen lernen muss, damit zu leben (ein Diabetiker darf auch nicht alles essen, was auf dem Tisch steht!), ist uns durchaus bewusst, dass nicht jeder Homosexuelle derartig negative Erfahrungen gemacht hat. Dies ist aber aus christlicher Sicht völlig unerheblich. Fakt ist, dass sich die Lebensläufe vieler Homosexueller in entscheidenden Punkten ähneln - zu sehr, als dass dies nur ein Zufall wäre. Aber das ist noch nicht einmal wichtig: selbst wenn es angboren wäre, der Betroffene in einer völlig intakten Familie aufwachsen würde und dann einen gleichgeschlechtlichen Partner findet, mit dem er ein Leben lang monogam und glücklich zusammenlebt (ich habe bisher so etwas noch nie angetroffen!), selbst dann wäre es aus christlicher Sicht abzulehnen! Wir dürfen als Christen ein persönliches "Glücksgefühl" nicht über die Liebe zum Herrn stellen.
Eines aber können wir all denen versichern, die den langen und schwierigen/schmerzhaften Weg einer Therapie auf sich nehmen, hart an sich arbeiten und im Glauben wachsen: eure gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen werden sowohl an Intensität und Häufigkeit erheblich nachlassen, ihr werdet lernen, ein diszipliniertes und strukturiertes Leben zu führen, an eurer Männlichkeit (Weiblichkeit) arbeiten und sie weiter entwickeln, ihr werdet als Christen wachsen, euer Leben sinnvoll und verantwortungsvoll gestalten, ihr werdet Verletzungen aus der Vergangenheit aufarbeiten und gebrochene Beziehungen wenn möglich wieder aufbauen, ihr werdet lernen, euer Selbstmitleid zu überwinden und euch nicht mehr als Opfer sehen und letztendlich werdet ihr gesunde Beziehungen zum eigenen wie zum anderen Geschlecht aufbauen können.
Und das ist es wirklich wert.
Watch: The butterfly...
Wichtig:
Ersetze deine Versuchungen mit positiven Alternativen!
Dir sollte auf jeden Fall klar sein, dass die Therapie lange und schmerzhaft sein wird. Viele von uns haben sex als Schmerzmittel gegen fehlende Liebe, Alleinsein, Verletzungen aus der Vergangenheit/Kindheit, Langeweile, Minderwertigkeitsgefühle, Ärger usw. verwendet. Fällt dieses Schmerzmittel weg, liegt die darunterliegende Ursache schutzlos und brutal offen. Das tut oft sehr weh und wir sind völlig aufgewühlt. Das ist normal und ein natürlicher Bestandteil der Therapie! Du solltest während der ganzen Zeit Kontakt zu Gleichgesinnten, deiner Familie, deiner Gemeinde und/oder guten christlichen Freunden suchen, die dich unterstützend begleiten. Was auch immer geschieht: der Teufel wird dich nicht kampflos gehen lassen. Gib niemals auf! Auch wenn du fällst: stehe wieder auf! Jesus gibt dich auch nicht auf - du kannst immer wieder zu Ihm zurück kommen!
Solltest du zusätzlich an psychichen Problemen leiden, zögere nicht, einen Experten (etwa einen Psychiater) aufzusuchen! Er sollte allerdings deine Entscheidung, frei von der Homosexualität zu sein, respektieren und bestenfalls selbst Christ sein.
Zwei Regeln:
Was ist Veränderung?
Heilung beutet somit zm einen das Heilen von alten Wunden und zum anderen die Heilung des gebrochenen Verhältnisses zu Gott und zu unseren Mitmenschen.
Nicht jedem ist es jedoch gegeben, zu heiraten (siehe Matthäus 19:12). Wir wollen niemanden "umpolen". Wer sich nach o.g. Prozess dafür entscheidet, enthaltsam zu leben, um so dem Herrn besser dienen zu können, hat sein Ziel ebenso erreicht wie der schließlich verheiratete Familienvater.
Das kann es bedeuten und tut es tatsächlich in vielen Fällen, das muss aber nicht unbedingt so sein. Wir betrachten das Ausleben oder bewusste Inkaufnehmen von Homosexualität als Sünde, somit ist das Gegenteil erstmal nicht Heterosexualität, sondern Gehorsam. Wie jede andere Sünde auch können wir sie mit Gottes Hilfe überwinden. Ebenso können wir mit seiner Hilfe lernen, unsere Lust zu kontrollieren und nicht umgekehrt - indem wir Ihm die Kontrolle überlassen.
Wir dürfen diesen Hafen aber nicht mit dem Ziel verwechseln. Einige von uns sehen zwanghafte Aktivitäten bezwungen und waren in Versuchung, unseren Kampf um gute Beziehungen zu Gott und anderen sowie um die Arbeit an alten Verletzungen, vergrabenen Emotionen und charakterlichen Defiziten zu vernachlässigen.Wir sind an einem Platz angekommen, wo wir uns wohl fühlten und manche wollten hier bleiben.
Wenn wir den Segen, den Gott für uns bereithält, nicht vermissen wollen, müssen wir nach der vollständigen Heilung drängen. Das Zölibat anstatt die Heilung zu wählen heißt, weiterhin Sklaverei und Verzerrung in Kauf zu nehmen. Wenn unsere Wunden geheilt und unsere Heterosexualität wiederhergestellt ist, dann können wir voller Freude und freiwillig ein enthaltsames Leben in Anspruch nehmen, sollten wir denn hierzu berufen sein. Nicht wegen ungelöster psychologischer Probleme, sondern aus Gehorsam und Liebe Christus gegenüber.
Link:
Reparativtherapie
1) Veränderung des Verhaltens. Manche behaupten, durch eine Veränderung des Verhaltens ändert sich der Mensch nicht. Wenn aber ein Mensch sein Verhalten ändert, kann sich sein gesamtes Leben ändern. Ein Alkoholiker etwa, der 20 Jahre lang getrunken hat und sich dann den Anonymen Alkoholikern anschließt und nüchtern wird, hat sich bestimmt geändert. Seine Nüchternheit wird sein gesamtes Leben beeinflussen: Seine Einstellung verbessern, seine Beziehungen und seine Arbeitsleistung. Wird ein gelegentlicher Wunsch zu trinken diesen Erfolg zunichte machen? Wohl kaum.
2) Änderung der Häufigkeit homosexueller Neigungen. Das berichten übereinstimmend alle, die diesen Prozess durchlaufen haben: sie fühlen sich immer weniger von Menschen desselben Geschlechts angezogen. Die Fantasien nehmen an Häufigkeit ab.
3) Änderung in der Intensität homosexueller Neigungen. Sie werden immer schwächer und leichter abzuwehren. Die Anziehung beim Anblick eines gutaussehenden Mannes (einer Frau) ändert sich vom WOW! zum "oh". Die Fantasien nehmen an Intensität ab.
4) Wechsel der Perspektive. Manche Menschen sind so besessen von der Homosexualität, dass diese Besessenheit ein größeres Problem ist als ihre Neigung. Man lernt, dass diese Art der Lust nur ein Ausdruck der gefallenen Natur des Menschen und seinem gebrochenen Verhältnis zu Gott ist. Man erkennt den Schaden,den Homosexualität anrichtet. Es ändert sich weiterhin die Sicht der eigenen Identität (wie man sich selbst sieht oder über sich denkt). Man nimmt sich selbst nicht mehr als schwul oder lesbisch wahr.
1) Die zugrundeliegenden individuellen Faktoren. Ein Mensch etwa, der eine Serie von sexuellen Missbräuchen zu erleiden hatte, wird wahrscheinlich etwas länger brauchen als jemand, der relativ behütet aufgewachsen ist.
2) Wie viel Unterstützung und Hilfe jemand bekommt (Familie, Selbsthilfegruppe, gesunde Beziehungen...)
3) Die persönliche Fähigkeit und Bereitschaft, auch schwierige und mit Schmerz verbundene Angelegenheiten anzugehen.
4) Die Fähigkeit, auch in schwierigen Phasen durchzuhalten bzw. wieder aufzustehen, wenn man gefallen ist. Kurz: der Wille und die Entschlossenheit, ein gesetztes Ziel um jeden Preis erreichen zu wollen.
5) Die Anzahl der (homo-)sexuellen Kontakte in der Vergangenheit.
6) Die Fähigkeit, Stress und Frustration ertragen zu können.
7) Die Fähigkeit, sich nicht vom Selbstmitleid beherrschen zu lassen.
8) Last (but certainly not least): wie stark ist der Glaube an Gott? Glaube ich wirklich, dass Er mich befreien kann?
Tagung: „Ego-dystone Homosexualität – Möglichkeiten der Veränderung“
APA President Affirms Patients' Right to Seek Change from Homosexuality
Survey Reveals Why Some 'Same Sex Attracted' Men Seek Change
Ex-Gays Protest APA Claim that Homosexuality is Irreversible
Questions and answers to help men and women dealing with same-sex attraction work through the confusion.
Finding His Way Out
One man proves it is possible to escape the grip of homosexuality.
Exodus Youth resources to help parents respond to homosexuality.
Exodus Youth resources to help youth pastors respond to homosexuality.
Books, video and curriculum about youth and homosexuality.
Stories of people who have left homosexuality.
Articles about homosexuality and change
Articles about theology and homosexuality.
Articles about preventing and overcoming homosexuality.
Take a Vacation from Your Problems...
What is Good Christian Therapy? - Dr. John Townsend
Changes That Heal
• Part 1: Does God or psychology provide the cure to emotional problems?
• Part 2: Created in the Image of God
• Part 3: Growth takes Grace and Truth
• Part 7: Becoming Separate - Creating Healthy Boundaries
• Part 8: Sorting Out Good and Bad
"Christian" Beliefs that Can Drive you Crazy
• Part 1: False Assumption - If I'm spiritual enough, I will have no pain or sinfulness.
• Part 2: False Assumption - Just leave the past behind.
• Part 3: False Assumption - If I have God, I don't need people.
• Part 4: False Assumption - Guilt and shame are good for me.
• Part 5: False Assumption - If I make right choices, I will grow spiritually.
• Part 6: False Assumption - If I know the truth, I will grow.
die es geschafft haben
1)Welches Ereignis oder welche Umstände haben dich dazu motiviert, deine Homosexualität zu bereuen?
2)Was genau hast du zu bereuen (Pornos, Beziehungen, anonyme Sexkontakte, Internetpornos, Telefonsex... Sei genau und ehrlich!)?
3)Schreibe auf, welche körperlichen Auswirkungen dein Sexualverhalten hatte!
4)Schreibe auf, welche seelischen und psychischen Auswirkungen es hatte (Fantasien, Depression, Verlust der Selbstachtung, Angst, Ablenkung...)!
5)Schreibe auf, welche spirituellen Auswirkungen es hatte (Verlust der Intimität mit Gott, Rückzug aus dem Leben in der Gemeinde...)!
6)Schreibe auf, wie dein Leben in fünf Jahren aussehen wird, wenn du nicht damit aufhörst (einschließlich Auswirkungen auf deine Ehe, Arbeit, spirituelles Leben, Beziehungen, Selbstachtung...)!
7)Ist das Bild, das du eben beschrieben hast, für dich akzeptabel? Warum – oder warum nicht?
Watch: Forgiven
Bevor du dich auf den Heilungsprozess einlässt, solltest du folgendes beachten:
• Du brauchst eine unerschütterliche Hingabe dafür – egal wie schmerzhaft oder lange er ist. • Keine Methode, kein Prozess ist wichtiger als ein Herz, das gehorsam und ergeben gegenüber Gott ist. Es gibt verschiedene Arten der Unterstützung: • Lokale oder Online-Selbsthilfegruppen (Homosexuals Anonymous, Jason...) • Kirchen (z.B. deine Gemeinde!) • Exodus International, NARTH, Ex-Gay Ministries (JASON usw.) • Christliche Seelsorger • Psychotherapeuten/Psychologen/Psychiater (Vorher abklären: Wie vielen Homosexuellen hat er schon geholfen? Ist er Christ? Ist sein Leitfaden die Bibel? Wie denkt er über Homosexualität, ihre Ursachen, den Heilungsprozess? Entspricht seine Einstellung nicht der Bibel: suche dir jemand anderes! ACHTUNG: Homosexualität darf NICHT diagnostiziert und behandelt werden, da keine Krankheit!) • Christliche Freunde • Familie • Fachliteratur • Jesus! Lese in der Bibel und bete!
2)Eine Reihe von Gefühlen bleiben aber immer noch bestehen („Na ja, war wohl doch nicht so einfach. Ich warte noch auf die endgültige Freiheit.“)
3)Enttäuschung („Was ist denn nun mit dieser Befreiung? Werde ich mich jemals wirklich ändern?“)
4)Heilung („Wahnsinn! Das war ein Aufwand! Endlich liegt es hinter mir!“)
Vorsicht! Vor allem in den ersten drei Phasen werden oft folgenschwere Entscheidungen getroffen!
Die Bibel ist da anderer Ansicht: „Und solche gab es unter euch. Aber ihr seid rein gewaschen, seid geheiligt, seid gerecht geworden im Namen Jesu Christi, des Herrn, und im Geist unseres Gottes.“ 1 Korinther 6:11 Ein schwuler Christ würde natürlich sagen, das bezieht sich nicht auf Homosexualität. Damit sind wir bei der Frage: Ist Homosexualität eine Sünde oder nicht? Wenn ja, kann man sie selbstverständlich ändern. Jesus befreit uns von der Macht der Sünde (Römer 6:14), wenn wir neue Geschöpfe in ihm werden (2 Korinther 5:17). Somit können wir Sünde durch Gottes Gnade besiegen. Wenn schwule Christen aber glauben, dass Homosexualität keine Sünde ist, warum argumentieren sie dann so vehement dafür, dass sie sich nicht ändern können? Wenn etwas keine Sünde ist, ist es doch gleichgültig, ob es nun angeboren oder gewollt ist, unveränderbar oder nicht! Wen wollen schwule Christen also überzeugen, wenn sie sagen, Homosexualität sei keine Sünde – uns oder etwa doch sich selbst? Wenn es nämlich tatsächlich auch nur einen einzigen Menschen gibt, der seine Homosexualität überwunden hat, dann ist ihre Ausrede, sie könnten sich nicht ändern, wertlos.
Links:
Joseph Nicolosi, Homosexualität und Veränderung - wie ist das zu verstehen?
Glenn Wyler, Mein Weg aus der Homosexualität heraus
Joseph und Linda A. Nicolosi, Herausforderung Adoleszenz
Männlichkeit muß errungen werden
Studie zur Frage der Veränderbarkeit einer homosexuellen Orientierung
Joseph Nicolosi, Mit einem Freund reden - Seinen Kampf einem heterosexuellen Freund offenbaren
Janelle Hallman-Burlson, Weibliche Homosexualität - Diagnostik und Therapieansatz
Janelle Hallman-Burlson, Weibliche Homosexualität - Schritte der Veränderung
Sonderdruck zum Thema Jugendliche und Homosexualität
Warum ich als Christ nicht homosexuell leben kann
If I Change From Homosexuality, Will I Still Be Me?
Survey on Factors Motivating Desire to Change
Survey Reveals Why Some 'Same Sex Attracted' Men Seek Change
Root Causes, Homosexual Consequences
Is It Really Possible?
False Starts: What Didn't Work
Our Solution: A M.A.N.S. Journey Masculinity Authenticity Need Fulfillment Surrender
About Us:
Question: I want to change, and I'm ready to do whatever I have to do. Where do I start?
Question: This all looks like a lot of work. I'm not sure I'm up to it. Isn't there an easier way?
Question: How long will this take?
Question: What kind of counseling or therapy would be helpful?
Question: Who succeeds at change in therapy?
Is change possible? Why would someone want to change?
How does a homosexual person change? Is change successful?
Looking for help to leave Homosexuality? START HERE >>
Find a ministry, counselor, or church in your area
>> Read some real-life stories
Looking for help for family or a friend? START HERE
>> Find a ministry, counselor, or church in your area
>> Read stories from families
>> Articles on helping a loved one
>> Request info from Exodus
Looking for help for yourself or a student? START HERE
>> Visit ExodusYouth.net
>> Find a ministry, counselor, or church in your area
>> Read some real-life stories
>> Request info from Exodus
>> Groundswell Conferences
Are you a pastor or ministry leader? START HERE
>> Exodus Church Network
>> Resources for churches
>> Find a ministry or counselor in your area
>> Request info from Exodus
Hi, I'm 14 years old and I feel that I'm gay. I don't want to be gay, and I need information about changing it.
What is reparative therapy?
Can’t you tell your sexual orientation by which gender makes you sexually aroused?
How do I find a counselor to help with issues of same sex attraction?Resources for further help and information
What Does Healing Look Like?
Three Responses to Same-Sex Attractions
De-Sexualizing the Deeper Need
Healing and Growth: Homosexuality and Christian Character
Sacrificing a Lesser Love
Healing Through Building the Body of Christ: Every Christian a Lazarus
Sexuality: Gift or Curse
God is Patient, Be Patient with Yourself
President Koocher Says the American Psychological Association Has No Disagreement With the Treatment of Unwanted Homosexual Attraction
May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith May you use those gifys that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you...
May you be content knowing that you are a child of God...
Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us."
(Mother Teresa)Links:
Former Homosexuals Protest APA Convention People who overcame homosexuality came to contest the American Psychological Association's claim that sexual orienation cannot and should not be changed.
Sexual Orientation Change Is Possible— But Only Outside Of Therapy, Says APA Office Of Gay Concerns
More Links and great articles on www.narth.com
"I will be a saint" means I will despoil myself of all that is God ... I will renounce my will, my inclinations, my whims and fancies, and make myself a willing slave to the will of God.
Mother Theresa
Therapeuten
No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is
faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but
with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able
to bear it.
--1 Corinthians 10:13
Wir hatten eigentlich vor, an dieser Stelle eine Liste von Therapeuten zu veröffentlichen, an die ihr euch wenden könnt. Da wir aber diese Menschen schützen möchten, werden Adressen nur auf Anfrage weitergegeben. Gerne könnt ihr euch auch an unten angegebene Organisationen wenden, die wir ausdrücklich empfehlen.
Wir möchten hiermit Psychiater, Psychologen, Seelsorger usw. ausdrücklich ermutigen, mit uns in Kontakt zu treten, wenn sie bereit sind, eine Therapie mit Menschen, die sich von ihren gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen befreien möchten, anzugehen.
Kontakt: free32@gmx.de oder Tel.: 089-78018960
Links:
www.narth.com
Offensive Junger Christen
Sehr zu empfehlen:
Weißes Kreuz (Schwerpunkte: Sexualethik, Seelsorge und Pädagogik)
www.weisses-kreuz.de
Link:
USA:
Reorientation therapy: www.forthechildreninc.com
Resources For Homosexuals Seeking Reorientation Therapy
Auf diesen Seiten finden sich viele Links und Hinweise auf Organisationen jeglicher Art. Diese Hinweise bedeuten nicht zwangsweise, dass diese Organisationen auch JASON unterstützen. Wir haben sie ausgewählt, da sie entweder direkt mit dem Thema verbunden sind oder nützlich sind für Betroffene. Wir sehen uns solidarisch mit ihnen und möchten sie auf diese Weise kostenlos unterstützen, indem wir Werbung für sie machen. Um sie richtig darzustellen, haben wir für die Selbstbeschreibung teilweise ihre eigenen Worte und teilweise auch Artikel verwendet. Sollte irgendjemand dies nicht wünschen, bitten wir um ein kurzes Email und wir werden die betroffenen Stellen natürlich sofort entfernen.
Lessons
FEAR
"I asked (Dr. Paul Tournier) how he helped his patients get rid of their fears. 'I don't,' he said. 'Fear has a purpose.'" [Bruce Larson, Living Beyond Our Fears, p. 9]
"There is nothing Christian about the denial of reality. The courage of the Christian doesn't come without fear. When you don't have any fear, you don't need any courage. Courage can only be defined in the context of fear. If you never know fear, you will never know courage." [Stephen Brown, No More Mr. Nice Guy! p. 133]
Deuteronomy 1:21
"Among Christians there is a wide variety of views about anxiety. At one end of the continuum some ... are almost indistinguishable from the existentialists, emphasizing man's search for identity, self, and meaning, and the resulting existential angst. They seem to deemphasize both Scripture and the idea of a personal God who holds the answers to the human condition.
On the other end of the spectrum are ... writers who focus upon the sins of fear and doubt of God's provision, calling people to repentance, deliverance, and an end to anxiety through prayer and meditation.... Those in the middle accept the Christian ideal of a life free from worry as well as the fact of fallenness in ourselves and the creation.... They would agree that even though anxiety may not be desirable, the route to eliminating it is not repression and denial but rather the acceptance of our anxious feelings as real.... As it was with the Israelites (e.g. I Sam. 17:47), our 'battles are the Lord's.' If he is for us, why should we fear? Yet knowing this intellectually is only the first step. The Holy Spirit must work into believers God's peace. This peace results from a relationship with him..."
[Dale Simpson, "Anxiety," Baker Encyclopediaof Psychology p. 67]
Deuteronomy 31:6
"Fear is perhaps our oldest and deadliest enemy. Fear causes illness. It kills. It stifles creativity. Fear prevents love, disrupts families, and causes addiction to alcohol, drugs, work, hobbies, and food. Fear of life and of other people can result in an abnormal desire to withdraw, leading to mental illness. Extreme fear of the future prompts suicide.... Thousands of years ago, the philosopher Seneca said, 'If we let things terrify us, life will not be worth living.' In 1840, Thomas Carlyle wrote, 'The first duty for a man is still that of subduing fear. A man's acts are slavish until he has got fear under his feet.' Thirty years later, Ralph Waldo Emerson remarked that 'He has not learned the first lesson of life who does not every day surmount a fear [Bruce Larson, Living Beyond Our Fears, p. 3 5]
Proverbs 3:25,26
"Tender handed stroke a nettle And it stings you for your pains, Grasp it like a man of mettle, And it soft as silk remains. " [Aaron Hill (1685 1750), "Words Written on a Window," in Leadership, p. 34]
"Andrew M. Greeley, in his book The Friendship Game, argues that fear is the major barrier to friendship." [David Smith, Men Without Friends, p. 138]
Isaiah 54:4
"Anxiety is: 1. Fear in the absence of real danger. 2. Overestimation of the probability of danger and exaggeration of its degree of terribleness. 3. Imagined negative results." [William Backus and Marie Chapian, Telling
Yourself the Truth, p. 68]
Bibelverse
Römer 8:38-39
Matthäus 9:28-29
Römer 5:3-10
Jakobus 1:1-27
Psalm 144:1-2
Hebräer 12:4-14
Jesaja 43:18-20
Artikel
Two gay men themselves describe the lifestyle thusly: "Numerous psychologists, sociologists, and men of letters have written at great length on the aloneness of man in today's impersonal mechanized world of gadgets, technology, and scientific management. The homosexual is perhaps even more alone because of...his homosexuality... He needs a life mate even more desperately, he feels, because of his increased need for communication with others like himself, so that he need not feel so lonely. As a result, he searches assiduously for the ideal type of person, who, he imagines, might help put an end to his problem and his search. He may not be a drinker, but he goes to gay bars, cruises the streets, and makes regular appearances at other places where homosexuals congregate, in hopes of meeting his ideal type. Each passing sexual encounter is hoped to be the 'one and only,' but numerous short-lived affairs are usually the result. Time goes by. Years pass. The attractiveness of youth fades. The muscles become flabby. Gray hair increases. Bald spots appear. The affairs continue. As the man gets older, he must work harder to coax others to take an interest in him. If this fails, there is the despair of old age, to be ended only by the inevitability of death."
[Donald Webster Cory and John P. LeRoy, The Homosexual and His Society: A View From Within, p. 19]
From the _NARTH Collected Papers_
(http://www.narth.com/index.html#collpapers) , 2002
A Psychodynamic Approach with Clients Who Want to Change Their Same-Sex Attraction
Presented by Paul Popper, Ph.D.
Paul Popper, Ph.D. I stood here seven years ago presenting to you why I decided to treat same-sex attracted (SSA) clients who wanted to change. I presented four clients at the beginning of their therapy, and the hope they experienced as their compulsive same-sex attractions began to decrease (Popper, 1995).
Today, a third of my full-time practice consists of men who are working on changing their same-sex attractions. I want to talk about some of them, the course of their therapy, the ones who have achieved full heterosexual capacity, and the challenges they still face.
The Initial Reparative Phase SSA clients usually come to me knowing that I am a reparative therapist who believes they have the right to hope that change is possible and work towards it, even at the risk of not being able to achieve it.
After taking some history, I usually present my clients with a synopsis of their probable developmental story, based on a reparative understanding of their same-sex attractions (Moberly 1983, Nicolosi, 1991).
The story, filled in with their individual histories, spoken for them, from an early age, in the first person, goes like this:
I am profoundly hurt, disappointed, let down by my father. I know I am not like him. Do not want to be like him (Protest). I am different, unacceptable to him, to all men. It is all too much to handle, too overwhelming to feel so different and so alone (Despair). I do not need him. I do not need anybody like him. I don't need men. I don't need masculinity (Detachment).
I am uncomfortable in my body, feel like an outsider, I am sensitive and creative. I hate boys who are strong, aggressive, competitive and fit in. I am attracted to boys who are strong, aggressive, competitive and fit in. In secret I fantasize about their square jaws, big shoulders, confident carriage and I yearn for those qualities, to be accepted by them, to be one of them, to be them. All the while in school and on the streets I fear them, feel picked on by them and experience them as the "other," further reinforcing my detachment from them, and the qualities in them to which I am ambivalently attracted.
The story goes on about how these reparative yearnings become sexualized either in the Oedipal or adolescent stages of development, and about the rest-of-the-life dilemmas faced by the client. This story is more fully developed by Dr. Satinover in his article (1995).
The more the potential client resonates with this story, and the stronger he identifies with the "little guy" who became disconnected from his father, the better is his potential prognosis towards change. By "resonate" I mean the capacity of the client to regress to a particular moment in the story and experience it as his own.
As an illustration, let me recount an early session with a client. He is a slightly awkward young man, brought up in a family with a physically available but emotionally distant father and a critical and controlling mother. In this session, he was describing a memory from age five, of being in the living room and joining his younger brother, dancing and twirling to the piano playing of his father. He re-entered that scene and relived it in my consultation room. He remembered how at that time he was imagining he was wearing a skirt, which billowed as he turned, and his lacy underwear was showing. He felt like a little girl.
I asked him to imagine himself sitting next to his father on the piano stool. He pictured himself at the end of the piano bench, his father ignoring him.
He felt awkward and hesitant. I asked him to scoot his body next to his father's, and hit a few notes on the piano. He reported experiencing his father's rejection, as his father looked annoyed with him for interrupting his practice. He felt like getting back on the floor and continuing his dancing as a girl. Later in the session, I asked him if he would be willing to re-enter the scene with his father, but this time to lean into his father's body as they sat next to each other on the piano bench. With some effort he forced himself closer and, as he visibly relaxed, I asked him to imagine his father lifting him into his lap and letting him play a few notes. We finished the scene with his father placing his hands over his little hands on the piano, guiding him.
By this time the whole atmosphere in the room had changed. He was relaxed, appeared to be more comfortable in his body, his voice was deeper and more resonant. Later, he spontaneously reported that for a few moments, being close to his father, he felt much more like a boy than a girl.
Clients who benefit from reparative therapy often relive memories from an early age which signify times they experienced their alienation from their father. These are moments of power, because they are the first indications to the client that their detachment from their father is energized by anger, hurt, yearning, and need.
Whether it is a client re-living seeing in his father's eyes a total lack of understanding of him at age five, or re-living a feeling of his skin literally crawling as his father passed close by his high chair, these moments become metaphors for the pain that exists in that relationship.
Scenes from early childhood, such as spending hours with a little ironing board next to mom as she ironed, being raised with five sisters and playing only with dolls, or being dressed up as a girl by grandmother and paraded around, are the painful metaphors for being too closely identified with females.
These clients resonate with the need to be called out by a man, away from mother, into the world of men, where they are accepted, challenged, and encouraged to grow up as part of the male fraternity.
In this phase of treatment, the clients begin to recognize that their sexually compulsive same-sex yearnings are based more on a need for the masculinity they rejected and are envious of, and less on a constitutional preference for same-sex objects. The following comment represents the work of this phase:
"To think it has to do with sex is ridiculous; it has to do with a gaping hole in my heart."
The Reparative Integration Phase It is in this phase of work that the reparative gains are solidified.
One client, after a year of work, distilled the qualities he yearned for in men he was attracted to and tended to put on a pedestal: They had to be reserved, cold, jaded, and cynical. Anybody who did not fill that bill was a "dork," and was not desirable. He would continuously have crushes on men like these, put them on a pedestal, and yearn for them. The cartoon like
one-dimensional nature of the pictures of the men he created to envy and to yearn for started to break down as he allowed himself to enter ongoing, non-sexual relationships with this very type of man. As they became three- dimensional, it was their "dorky," human qualities which allowed him to be in a relationship with them. As he started to identify more and more with them, he started to accept those dorky qualities in himself. It is from this position of self-acceptance as an imperfect man that the likelihood of the re-emergence of his heterosexual impulses would increase.
The client who re-experienced himself in the highchair as his skin bristled upon the approach of his father, was able to build towards an emotional rapprochement with his father after experiencing and expressing his grief and rage towards him, over a year long mourning period. This culminated in a dream in which he felt his father's arms around him, melted into his arms, and felt safe.
At this point in his therapy, his male relationships became stronger, his same-sex attractions became almost minimal, and the female form began to capture his attention more and more. He started struggling with his fear of approaching females and felt confused by how his increased heterosexual attraction resulted in his freezing up around them. As the theme of his relationship
with his mother surfaced in therapy, he became more and more afraid, his old symptoms began to reappear, so he decided to handle his intimacy issues with women with the help of a sex therapist.
Clients who do not fully enter this phase of therapy usually experience only transitory diminution of their same-sex attractions and do not start experiencing heterosexual impulses. However, there are exceptions.
One young client, after having been in the gay lifestyle for several years, over a period of a year-and-a-half in therapy, conscientiously changed his effeminate mannerisms, made male friends with whom he roughhoused, raced bikes, hiked, and found his attraction towards them decrease dramatically. He joined a support group, stopped hanging out with his female friends, worked on separating from his mother, and had one serious and satisfying talk with his father about his same-sex issues. His heterosexual capacity developed fully and as he dated he had a difficult time restraining himself from being fully sexual with his girlfriend, although expressing his sexuality outside of marriage went against his values. When he broke up with his girlfriend, (he was enmeshed with her), and experienced some painful situational losses, he gave up doing the work, started looking for comfort from his old female friends, and began a slide back towards his old lifestyle.
He was a client who did most of the reparative work from the "good boy" stance, mostly out of the need to please and to avoid conflict. He never allowed himself to re-experience the pain of his being a nerdy, lonely, bullied child, who did not feel the support of his father. He protected himself from experiencing the despair of being different and therefore he never became aware of the way he built up his defensive detachment, which separated him from other men and his therapist. He hid behind being cooperative and a good boy and when met with unexpected stresses and setbacks in his life, he turned towards the comfort he knew best, his female friends and the lifestyle.
The Intimacy Phase
Some clients reach full heterosexual attraction and functioning, having integrated the reparative work into their life. They get married and come face-to-face with their fear of closeness and intimacy. In reaction to this they often fall back into their old coping patterns of isolation, same-sex yearnings and wallowing in shame. One client found himself withdrawing from his wife more and more as she tended to lose sight of his needs and was preoccupied with her own work and stresses. He was unable to talk to her about his need for her, freezing up every time he thought of approaching her.
The reality of his issues was re-enacted within the transference relationship as he started to experience his therapist as less and less available. When his therapist left for a week long vacation, he complained, "You are leaving me all the time, over and over and over again." This experience within the transference brought into his awareness the memory of himself as a baby when
his mother would drop him off at his grandmother's house over and over again, sometimes for a months at a time.
Only as he worked through the experience of this loss in therapy for over a year, did his extreme, immobilizing fear of abandonment abate and his ability to communicate his needs to his wife, increase. Needless to say, his same-sex yearnings diminished to an imperceptible level at this point and he enjoyed a robust heterosexual relationship with her.
It is during this phase of therapy that Oedipal issues can surface. One client, who was continuously having a depersonalization experience whenever he became emotionally involved with females, either at work or in his personal life, started bringing this facet of himself into the consultation room. As he walked into the room his eyes would start floating, his breathing would
become minimal, his head would bob, and he would give the appearance of someone who was about to float away. When, over a period of time, we examined his experience, he related that he was afraid of having sexual feelings in the presence of his therapist because he was afraid he could not resist reaching out and sexually grabbing him. Initially, the assumption was that this was a same-sex yearning-driven impulse. However, that interpretation did not fit that reality, since this client had traversed major milestones in his reparative work, and also the floating away symptom did not diminish in the consultation room or with women as the interpretation was worked through. As he struggled with staying in the room and not floating away, the client became aware that if he allowed himself to feel aroused, his penis would be in danger of being damaged, most probably by his father. This sense brought back a flood of memories of his mother's inappropriate closeness to him and one specific memory,
of when he was four, responding erotically to the silhouette of his mother's thighs and buttocks as she was attending to him.
At the present, this client is still working out his conflicted erotic feelings towards his mother, but castration anxiety no longer results in a depersonalization experience when he is forming closer relationships with women.
Some clients traverse the difficulties of both the reparative and the intimacy work and integrate them into their life with relative ease. One such client entered therapy with an overwhelming crush on a male co-worker. He had already been involved in reparative work within a self-help program but was unable to extricate himself from the power of the yearnings that still controlled him. Within the first year of his therapy, he allowed himself to enter into a transference relationship with his therapist. He was able to get angry as he experienced his therapist as withholding and started to become aware of his own contributions to the distance in the relationship. Soon he recovered painful memories of his relationship with his father in which he recognized his own role in shutting his father out, i.e., his defensive detachment from him.
Allowing this realization to penetrate his defenses, he mourned the loss of his father's role in his life and allowed his father to nurture him, ending up with both of them crying in each other's arms. At this point, his tendency to form dependent crushes on men decreased dramatically and his heterosexual capacity started to blossom. He was married within a year, worked hard at
intimacy issues, and graduated after four years, with the awareness that his fear of having children and being a father might later bring him back to therapy.
Summary and Conclusion
The reparative concept was first elucidated by Moberly (1983) and later adopted by Nicolosi (1991). It is based on the assumption that men who, due to their defensive detachment, do not identify with their father, will unconsciously seek the masculine in other men in order to overcome their developmental arrest, and continue to grow in their male identification.
Moberly (1983) became aware of the concept of detachment through the work of Bowlby (1960), who studied the reaction of babies and young children when they were separated from their mothers and discovered that they went through three stages of mourning: first protest, then despair, which then was followed by a complete detachment from the love object. She applied this concept to the boy's loss of connection to his father in which, at the end, defensive detachment predominates, thwarting further internalization of the masculine and resulting in a developmental arrest. She also made use of the concept of the need for self objects, developed by Kohut (1977). In this case, male self objects, whose presence can offer a solution to the dilemma experienced by a man with unmet male developmental attachment needs.
In the initial reparative phase of treatment, the therapist mostly serves as a self object for the client. His presence, encouragement, guidance, and faith in the existence of the "little guy," the one who was ready to join the male fraternity before the mismatch with his father resulted in his creation of a defensive wall against all that is male, is an essential element of the beginning process of change. The client is challenged to seek non-sexual male relationships, experiment with more traditional male activities, and is encouraged to keep getting back on the proverbial bicycle each time he falls.
Usually out of a "good boy" stance of cooperation and fear of conflict, the client makes attempts in this direction, a period which might last for years and can result in some improvements, often including a significant decrease of same-sex attraction.
For most men going through this process, it is the reparative integration phase which brings about the rediscovery of their heterosexual capacities. It is only through their willingness to enter into re-experiencing again and again the pain of the despair they felt as little boys, along with the rage they experienced, that they are able to experientially break down the walls of
their detachment, become more and more aware of its power over them, and choose over and over again not to identify with its outdated, self-protective functions. Not until they regress back to experiences of feeling weak, the outsider, a nerd, different, effeminate, dorky, a victim of bullies, can they feel what they are defending themselves from by detaching and can they choose to risk again feeling the same way by approaching men in earnest, with their deepest needs for affiliation and attachment.
At this junction the therapist becomes more and more the object of their transference experience. He is experienced as all-powerful, as abusive, insensitive, a bully, in other words, "the other," a male. The client works through this experience, occasionally hiding behind his defensively detached posture, but also reappearing to challenge and work with the therapist. This results in the client internalizing an aspect of maleness within which he no longer automatically fears male power and authority and in fact can more and more identify with it.
Having relived the pain of being different (Despair), having re-owned their aggression (Protest), the client is able to admit his need for his therapist, his father, and men in general, and keep on choosing to resist hiding behind his now no-longer-out-of-awareness tendency to detach.
The intimacy phase of therapy addresses issues in the psychology of the client which are not exclusively related to rejoining the male fraternity.
Oedipal, enmeshment, early abandonment, etc. issues are worked on within the transference relationship with the therapist. At this point the therapist's stance becomes more neutral, since his function is now less of a male selfobject for the client and more of a co-observer who helps the client explore his own psyche. The focus of the exploration tends to be more the client's
relationships with women and the transference relationship is more that of the client's relationship with his mother. This phase resembles the course of therapy with clients who do not bring same-sex attraction issues to their therapy as their main concern.
As with all change, especially that having to do with change on the level of personality organization, humility is essential. As clients leave, they need to understand that life brings on more challenges: marriage, which falters unless it is worked on; children who need to be called away from their mother; loss of parents, etc. The greatest danger they face is that under such
stresses and the vicissitudes encountered in everyday life, they will allow themselves to choose again, with regularity, their defensive detachment as the way of coping with inevitable pain and disappointment. In a long-term psychodynamically oriented therapy, they have the opportunity to experience over and over again their tendency to choose the shortcut of re-establishing their defensive detachment patterns. With the help of the therapist, they can identify this tendency, become aware and experience its various costs, and enter their life better equipped to avoid the slippery slope of indulging it in the
future.
There is no issue more fundamentally important to your spiritual growth than your understanding of the personality of Jesus Christ. It goes beyond just knowing His mission to what He thinks and how He feels--especially the way that He thinks and feels about people in their weakness.
Yet to sin and induce another to sin as well compounds the sin (makes the sin worse). To know how to do right and then do wrong is sin. And we fall short of the glory of God, God calls us to be 'holy' as He is holy. Our sin takes us away from God and we break our fellowship with God. Sion destroys our union with God. Of course we can confess our sins to God abd He will forgive us and bleanse us, isan;t that great to know. But we should as the Bible tells us to, "avoid sin", as God understands the ramification of sin in our life.
We must practice our Christian faith. Going to church will do noone any good, unless they are 'born again'. Reading many books may give us knowledge but unless we apply the knowledge gained our reading is in vain, much like our Christianity, ubless we practice it we arestill "without hope and without God' in this world.
Believe me I know that sin is powerful, yet I have founda power greater than sin that has set me free. You also can attain freedom by reading and doing and avoiding all places where you may find sin.
Bill B.
André
Unser Programm
Antwort: Ein Teil unserer Schritte wurde tatsächlich von den klassischen 12-Schritte Programmen übernommen und speziell für die Bedürfnisse von Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen angepasst, weil sie für hilfesuchende Menschen sehr hilfreich sein können. Zumal auch Suchtproblematiken und damit verbundene zu erzielende Verhaltensänderungen hier eine große Rolle spielen.
Sehen wir uns unsere 14 Schritte doch mal an:
14 Steps of HA
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Was die Findung unserer wahren Identität betrifft, so ist dies bei HA ein zentraler Punkt. Unter Identität verstehen wir aber nicht dasselbe wie weltliche Wissenschaft. Unsere wahre Identität finden wir auch nicht in Büchern von Nicolosi & Co - so wichtig sie auch sein mögen. Unsere wahre Identität finden wir alleine in dem, als dessen Ebenbild wir geschaffen wurden: in Gott. Wenn wir zu Ihm aufschauen, sehen wir unser wahres Ich.
In HA verwenden wir viele Hilfsmittel, die uns und anderen geholfen haben, unsere Situation zu verstehen. Seien es nun hilfreiche Bücher, die wir zusammen lesen und besprechen, Filme, die wir anschauen oder gemeinsame Aktivitäten.
Hier ist er also:
Rechenschaftsbericht von Homosexuals Anonymous (online):
1) Hast du das Gefühl, du warst diese Woche in Verbindung mit Gott? Bitte erkläre dies.
2) An wie vielen Tagen hast du diese Woche eine ruhige Zeit mit Gott verbracht? (Alternativ: an wie vielen Tagen hast du in der Bibel gelesen?)
3) Was hat dich Gott diese Woche gelehrt?
4) Hast du diese Woche einen Gottesdienst besucht? Wenn nicht, warum nicht? Und: wie sah es mit deinem Engagement in deiner Gemeinde, in sozialen Organisationen und für Menschen in Not aus?
5) Welche Schritte hast du diese Woche unternommen, um eine gesunde männliche (weibliche) Beziehung mit jemand zu beginnen oder fortzusetzen?
6) Hast du das Gefühl, du hast diese Woche Fortschritte in der Therapie gemacht? Erkläre dies.
7) Hast du dich diese Woche sexuell betätigt? (Masturbation, Pornographie und jede andere homosexuelle Aktivität wie etwa Fantasien zuzulassen, unangemessene zweite Blicke auf jemand oder etwas. Sei bitte genau und sage uns, wie oft du das getan hast!)
8) Was könntest du nächste Woche tun, um deine Brüder (Schwestern) zu ermutigen und zu unterstützen? Wen im Besonderen?
9) Hast du diese Woche nützliche Literatur gelesen, Filme angesehen oder Veranstaltungen/Seminare besucht?
10) Erzähle uns von positiven Dingen, die letzte Woche geschehen sind und für die du dankbar sein solltest.
Weitere Charakteristika von HA ist etwa die Dauer des durchschnittlichen Aufenthalts eines
Mitglieds in den Gruppen (prinzipiell kann jeder bleiben, so lange er will - die meisten
bleiben auch längee Zeit, oft sogar über mehrere Jahre).
der Zeit aufbaut sowie der durchschnittlich hohe Informationsstand sowie die Motivation
unserer Leiter.
Wir sehen uns als eine Familie - und behandeln uns auch so.
familiäre Beziehung - auch auf internationaler Basis.
und wird sich ändern - die Wahrheit der Bibel bleibt bestehen bis ans Ende aller Tage.
"Weisheit" Erfolg zu haben und das Ganze unter Kontrolle zu bringen. Jetzt, wo wir uns
voll und ganz Gott anvertraut haben, fühlen wir uns endlich sicher und geborgen.
Abschließend dürfen wir sagen, dass wir uns solidarisch mit allen Einrichtungen sehen, die
Menschen mit ungewollten gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen helfen wollen. Auch wenn unsere
zutiefst christliche Vorgehensweise sich vielleicht von anderen Einrichtungen unterscheidet,
sehen wir uns nicht als Konkurrenz oder gar als "besser" als andere, sondern als deren
Ergänzung.
Wir bieten jedem, der dies möchte, unsere helfende Hand an und gehen mit ihm oder ihr den
Weg hin zu Jesus!
Telephone Counseling with Joe Dallas
New Phone Counseling Rates Available in Packages of Three Sessions Each:
Three 50-minute phone sessions with Joe Dallas
Package rate of $225
• For men caught up in the use of pornography
• For families with homosexual loved ones
• For men struggling with same-sex attraction
We’re pleased to provide telephone counseling services for men who are dealing with sexual addiction, families with homosexual loved ones, or men struggling with sexual brokenness who find they’re without a specialist nearby whom they can receive ongoing counseling from. Joe Dallas has provided pastoral phone counseling to clients around the world. It is accessible, simple, and confidential, offering the convenience of a phone call, plus the expertise of a recognized professional.
Telephone Counseling Sessions Offered Under the Following Format:
For Men Caught Up in the Use of Pornography:
Session One: Assessment
We identify the length and severity of the problem, the impact it has had on the individual and his primary relationships, and the immedicate steps he needs to take to address the problem. This session will include assessment of the client's cycles, patterns of porn use and areas of life and relationship that need to be immediately addressed. Email follow-up will be sent from Joe summarizing the main points covered in the session.
Session Two: Structure
We develop a daily and weekly routine including spiritual disciplines, accountability practices, and checks and balances to insure ongoing abstinence from porn. Email follow-up will be sent from Joe summarizing the main points covered in the session.
Session Three: Relapse Prevention
We review the situations under which the client is most likely to face temptation or potential relapse, and we ensure that proper relapse prevention tools and strategies are in place. Email follow-up will be sent from Joe summarizing the main points covered in the session.
For Families with Homosexual Loved-Ones
Session One: Assessment
We discuss the relationship family members currently have with their homosexual loved-one, the general history of the family relationships, the events leading to the family's awareness of thier loved-one's situation, and the immediate points, boundaries and expectations the family members need to communicate at this time. Email follow-up will be sent from Joe summarizing the main points covered in the session.
Session Two: Policies, Boundaries and Expectations
We discuss the best policies for the family to follow when determining what to discuss with thier homoseuxal loved one, and we discuss the best approaches to take to keep a respectful, ongoing conversation alive with thier loved-one regarding sexuality, Christianity, and the family's position and beliefs. We also discuss whatever conversations or conflicts the family may have had with thier loved-one since Session One. Email follow-up will be sent from Joe summarizing the main points covered in the session.
Session Three: Caring for the Family
We discuss what parents and family members can do to enhance their own peace of mind while dealing with thier loved-one's homosexuality, and we ensure that the family members are provided with relevant and specific points regarding homosexuality-it's roots, common misunderstandings regarding it, and the elements that can lead a person to become dissatisfied with it. We also discuss whatever conversations or conflicts the family may have had with thier loved-one since Session One. Email follow-up will be sent from Joe summarizing the main points covered in the session.
For Men Struggling with Same-Sex Attraction
Session One: Assessment
We discuss the client's personal history, past relationships, current sexual behavior and common theories of origin regarding homosexuality. We also discuss realistic expectations, and the client's social, professional and spiritual goals. Email follow-up will be sent from Joe summarizing the main points covered in the session.
Session Two: Structure and Integration
We develop a daily and weekly routine including spiritual disciplines, accountability practices, and checks and balances to insure ongoing sexual purity, and we discuss the best ways to either attain, maintain or correct primary relationships. Email follow-up will be sent from Joe summarizing the main points covered in the session.
Session Three: Maintainence
We review the situations under which the client is most likely to face temptation or potential relapse, and we ensure that proper relapse prevention tools and strategies are in place. We further discuss the client's sexual and marital potential, and what steps he will need to take to ensure consistency and maximum health in his life. Email follow-up will be sent from Joe summarizing the main points covered in the session.
All phone sessions with Joe Dallas are 50 minutes, and the total cost is $225 (paid to Genesis Counseling through Visa or MasterCard).
For more info, please go here: http://www.joedallas.com/services.cfm?id=10
More Counseling with Joe Dallas
Counseling & Consultations
We offer Biblically based individual and marital pastoral counseling/life coaching for people dealing with sexual and relational problems, including sexual addiction, and homosexuality. We also offer help for affected family members.
Pastoral counseling offered by Joe Dallas is Biblical counseling, with an emphasis on adherance to Biblical principles governing relationships, sexuality and life choices. Pastoral counseling is NOT psychotherapy, not is it clinical in nature.
Our standard rate is $100 per fifty-minute session. Sliding scale rates are available on a case by case basis and are determined in person. Services can be paid for by check, cash, money order or Visa/Mastercard. We do not accept insurance payments, but we’ll be glad to provide you with statement to submit to your insurance company. Counselees are provided with an assessment and ongoing action plan.
For intensive, crisis oriented counseling, please see Two Day Intensives for Individuals and Couples
To set an appointment for counseling call 714-508-6953 (USA) or submit our INTAKE FORM.
(For more info, check here: http://www.joedallas.com/services.cfm?id=8)
TWO DAY INTENSIVES
To meet the needs of the many men and couples who contact us wanting immediate, in depth help for sexual and relational problems, Genesis Counseling now offers two-day, 10 hour intensive Pastoral Counseling sessions with Joe Dallas for men, and with Joe and Renee Dallas for couples.
Men in Crisis
Intensive sessions address the immediate needs of men who realize their sexual behavior has derailed their lives, marriages and intimacy with God. Specifically designed for men who've become addicted to the use of pornography, or who've been involved in "out of control" sexual behavior, the topics covered in the sessions include:
-Immediate Steps Needed for Making a Clean Break
-Coming Clean: Making Confession and Restitution
-Establishing a Sound Accountability Structure
-Understanding Temptation Cycles and Triggers
-Managing Personal Wounds and Relational Problems
-Developing a Permanent Relapse Prevention Approach
Attendees are asked to complete a pre-intensive questionnaire, and are provided with a workbook, CD and written resources, a personalized action plan, and three 30 minute follow up telephone consultations.
Cost: $1,000.00 To schedule, please see INTAKE FORM below.
Couples in Crisis
Intensive sessions for couples address the immediate needs of a marriage that has been impacted by a husband's use of pornography, adultery, or other sexual behaviors. Specifically designed for couples in crisis, these sessions are led by Joe and Renee Dallas, and include joint sessions for the couple with Joe and Renee, individual sessions for the wife with Renee, and individual sessions for the husband with Joe. Topics covered in the sessions include:
-Assessment of Damage Done to the Marriage
-Immediate Policies and Terms Needed to Establish Marital Recovery
-Steps Needed for Rebuilding Trust
-Immediate Steps Needed for Making a Clean Break (for the husband)
-Establishing a Sound Accountability Structure (for the husband)
-Grieving the Pain of Betrayal (for the wife)
-Establishing Boundaries and Terms (for the wife)
-Addressing Pre-Existing Marital Problems
-Facilitating Healing and Hope
Couples are asked to complete a pre-intensive questionnaire, and are provided with a workbook, CD and written resources, a personalized action plan, and three 30 minute follow up telephone consultations.
Cost: $1,200.00 To schedule, please see INTAKE FORM below.
To set an appointment for a two day intensive call 714-508-6953 (USA) or click here: http://www.joedallas.com/services.cfm?id=9
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Therapeuten?
Es gibt ja mittlerweile eine ganze Reihe von Fachleuten, die zu diesem Thema tätig werden - allen voran Menschen wie Joseph Nicolosi.
Vorab eines: ich halte es für äußerst wichtig, über die Hintergründe seines Empfindens Bescheid zu wissen. Wer in den "Ring" steigt, muss seinen Gegner genau kennen und mit den nötigen "Waffen" ausgestattet sein - sei es nun auf geistigem Gebiet oder im Bereich der Wissenschaften.
Genau hier leisten Menschen wie Herr Nicolosi eine hervorragende Arbeit. Allerdings muss man sich auch klar sein, dass - so gut diese Arbeit und das Wissen darum auch ist - all das alleine nicht ausreichen wird.
Nein, man muss nicht selbst gleichgeschlechtliche Empfindungen haben, um mit solchen Menschen zu arbeiten. Irgendwann kommt man dann aber auch zwangsweise an seine Grenzen. Als Fachmann kann man selbstverständlich aus der täglichen Arbeit über einen längeren Zeitraum ein enormes Wissen und eine außerordentliche Erfahrung aufbauen - gleichwohl bleibt das Thema an sich aber etwas, das man nicht wirklich verstehen kann, wenn man nicht selbst so empfindet.
Heißt das nun, heterosexuelle Fachleute hätten keine Ahnung, wovon sie schreiben und sollten es lieber lassen - und wir sollten uns anderen Autoren zuwenden? Keineswegs! Aus wissenschaftlicher Sicht können diese Fachleute großartiges leisten. Man sollte sich einfach nur darüber klar sein, wieweit das von Nutzen sein kann - und wo es sein Ende findet. Im Verbund mit einem "Gesamtpaket" (Selbsthilfegruppen, Freunde / Familie, Gemeinde, gesunde gleichgeschlechtliche Beziehungen, Arbeit an der eigenen Männlichkeit / Weiblichkeit, Aufarbeitung der eigenen Vergangenheit, Kontakt mit Gleichgesinnten usw.) hat dies sehr wohl seinen Sinn und Nutzen!
Manch einer mag nun sagen, man muss ja auch nicht Alkoholiker sein, um Alkoholkranke zu behandeln.
Und genau hier treffen wir auf ein Problem: es ist eben nicht dasselbe, ob man gleichgeschlechtlich empfindet (womit die eigene Identität und das innerste Wesen eines Menschen betroffen sind) oder ob man ein Alkoholproblem hat.
Manchmal wenn ich Ex-Gay Literatur - besonders von heterosexuellen Autoren - lese, werde ich das Gefühl nicht los, hier werde ich wie ein Kranker gesehen und behandelt. Der eine sieht es als Neurose, der andere führt es auf den Vater oder die Mutter zurück, andere meinen, man hätte seine eigene Männlichkeit bzw. Weiblichkeit noch nicht gefunden und suche diese nun bei einem gleichgeschlechtlichen Partner, oder man sei noch auf der Stufe eines Kleinkinds stehen geblieben oder im Selbstmitleid gefangen - um nur einige Theorien nachzuvollziehen. Vieles davon mag auch bei einigen von uns zutreffen - und trotzdem wird durch solche Theorien ein Bild von uns geschaffen, das ich nicht unterstützen kann.
So wichtig all dieses Wissen auch ist - es lässt mich zweifeln an der Art und Weise, wie Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen gesehen werden. Wir sind keine arme, perverse psychisch Kranke, sondern Menschen wie andere auch. Und die Art und Weise, wie manchmal unsere Beziehungen (so falsch sie auch gewesen sein mögen!) beschrieben werden, lässt einen manchmal den Vergleich zu Tieren hochkommen.
In allem, was in diesen Analysen nachzulesen ist, steckt mit Sicherheit eine Menge Wahrheit. Gleichwohl sind wir aber Menschen. Und nicht jeder von uns hat ein Problem mit dem Vater oder der Mutter. Nicht jeder hat psychische oder Identitätsprobleme. Ebenso stellen Menschen, die irgendwann Frieden mit ihrer Vergangenheit geschlossen haben und ebenso ihre eigene Männlichkeit/Weiblichkeit wiederentdeckt haben, manchmal fest, dass sie in gewissem Maße (wenn auch weitaus weniger häufig und heftig) gleichgeschlechtlich empfinden. Das alleine ist weder krankhaft noch sündhaft und wir müssen uns auch nicht so fühlen. Ja, wir sind anders - das kann aber auch von Vorteil für die Kirche und die Welt an sich sein! Wir haben vielleicht Talente, die andere nicht haben und können Sie zum Guten oder zum Schlechten verwenden. Aber bitte hört auf, uns laufend zu analysieren, als ob wir Laborratten wären! Damit helft ihr uns nicht weiter!
Nochmal: ja, ich halte die Fachliteratur für extrem wichtig. Aber dabei alleine darf es nicht bleiben. Wenn Veränderung nur im Kopf und nicht im Herzen geschieht, hält sie weder an noch bewirkt sie etwas. Außerdem ist es das Herz, das Gott anschaut - nicht den Verstand.
Es ist eben nicht so, dass man die Menschen, mit denen ein "veränderungswilliger Homosexueller" zu tun hat, klassifizieren kann (in aufsteigender Reihenfolge: aktive Homosexuelle, Ex-Gays, unattraktive Heterosexuelle - und der beste Fall: attraktive Heterosexuelle. Hintergrund ist der - keineswegs von der Hand zuweisende! - Gedanke, dass der Mythos der Männlichkeit als etwas Unerreichbares durchbrochen wird, wenn es gelingt, eine gesunde Freundschaft zu einem Menschen des gleichen Geschlechts aufzubauen, den man vorher als etwas gesehen hat, das "anders" ist als man selbst und einen somit anzieht). Selbstverständlich sollte man heterosexuelle Menschen des gleichen Geschlechts kontaktieren, um den eigenen Weg zu unterstützen. Menschen lassen sich aber nicht in Gruppen einteilen. Jemand, der unseren Weg beschreitet, braucht Gleichgesinnte genauso wie heterosexuelle Mentoren. Das eine ohne das andere wird nicht weit führen.
Manche versuchen auch, Hilfe anzubieten, die völlig ohne jeden religiösen Hintergrund ist. So sehr ich diese Programme auch schätze und als durchaus wichtig halte, denke ich als bekennender Christ doch, dass ohne den Glauben an Gott jede Moral in der Luft hängt. Ohne religiösen Hintergrund wird es extrem schwierig - wenn auch nicht unmöglich! - langfristig die Motivation aufzubringen, um diesen langen und schweren Weg zu gehen. Abgesehen davon ändert sich die Wissenschaft ständig - und ohne einen gemeinsamen Konsens darüber, was moralisch richtig, wahr und gut ist, bleibt jede Art von Moral relativ und individuell. Aus persönlciher Sicht kann ich nur sagen, dass ich ohne meinen Glauben diesen Weg nicht gegangen wäre. Warum auch? Dann hätte es für mich keinen Grund gegeben etwas zu ändern, das ich als richtig ansehe (was vor meinem Weg aus der Homosexualität so war).
Es ist also extrem wichtig, dass die verschiedenen Gruppen, die in dieser Richtung arbeiten - seien sie nun wissenschaftlicher oder mehr religiöser Art - einander wertschätzen und achten und sich der Tatsache bewusst sind, dass sie nur im Verbund miteinander wirkungsvoll handeln können.
Robert
www.jonahweb.org
Support Group for Wives of Men in Healing
Session Dates: March 16, March 23, April 13th and April 20th
Time & Format: Time to be determined upon the group's composition and will be decided in coordination with Mary Jane and the group. They will be 90 minute sessions via conference call
Leader: Mrs. Mary Jane Morgan
Description of Support Group: The trained facilitator who is familiar with the issues confronting SSA wives will help the wives:
Learn about husband's transformation,
create peace in the home,
grapple with family and marital issues in the context of their husband's journey.
Number of Participants and Cost: The group will be capped at 8 Participants. If the Monday night group gets oversubscribed, we will also schedule a 4 session group on Tuesday's during the day time. The cost for the initial four sessions is $140.00 USD.
How To Enroll: To register, please respond to JONAH at jonahoffice@gmail.com with a cc: to maryjanem4@comcast.net. We ask that the cost of $140.00 be paid prior to the first meeting. You can easily make payment directly on the JONAH website at www.jonahweb.org through the donation function.
*Upon receipt of the fee, sign-on information for the conference call will be sent to you.*
Please note: The facilitator understands first-hand the issues facing a woman whose husband is in the process of healing and changing from past thoughts and/or behaviors. If you or someone you know is interested in participating, please act quickly as there are only 8 spaces available. Please be prepared to commit to the above four Monday evenings. As we respect your anonymity, please understand that you do not have to use your full name or your actual name during these phone sessions.
Article by Douglas McIntyre, Co-Founder of HA
Answer: From the limited experience I have had, Everyone at some time or another that realizes he/she is "gay" really considers the possibility of change. Lets face it. Growing up with the problems every gay person faces is not easy. The mental anguish, physical disease possibilities, family tragedy and just plain cruel nature of those around us is reason enough to wish we were not different. Add to that the condemnation of the religionist we live with, and the sin implications. The alternative to change is portrayed in a very frightening way. (Hell is not supposed to be a very nice place.) On top of all that the LIE that change is not possible puts us in a terrible dilemma.
I feel, as Dr Moberly suggests, That the main reason more people do not change is that they do not believe it is possible to change. In short if you do not think it can be done, It cannot be done in you.
Let's put all those things aside and ask the question, If it really is possible to change would you want to do it? and if not, why not? A friend once asked me "What happens when you take a perverted homosexual and change him?" "You get a perverted heterosexual!" The real problem is that it is not the type of "sexual" at all. It is the moral imperative that is the real issue. There is only one reason to change any behavior. If I change, I will be in harmony with my Creator and simply be able to be happiest fullfilling my purpose in life.
Perhaps this sounds simple but examine it with me. If I am alcoholic I will always be unhappy and my life will always be in chaos. If I am a liar, I will always be unhappy because I always get caught in my own lies. If I run from my life problems and not grow up and solve them I will never be as happy as I might be.
Put any of the moral issues of life here and you get the same result. To be happy we need to let these things go and come to the morality we were created with. The Gay issue is no different. I was created male or female. To be happiest I need to allow the creator to "grow me up" into the mature state he desired for me at the original creation. The problem here might be that, I won't change because it will take the control out of my hands and put it into Gods hands. Put another way, " I want my own way. I will give every excuse to keep in my comfort zone and God simply has to accept that. In fact there may not even be a final punishment anyway."
The real reason to consider change, outside of the obvious pain and anguish we face, is "can I become completely what the creator intended me to become if I don't?" To be truly happy we humans seem to need a sense of understanding and the satisfaction of knowing that the life we have has a purpose. If that purpose is to "be in harmony with our creator and His plan for us," change becomes the only option. Happiness becomes the true result and the power to accomplish these becomes the responsibility of our creator. All I have to do is hang on by faith for the ride and know that "He that has begun a good work in you, will finish it." Philippians 1:6
Is it really possible? There are to many of us "EX" people around to deny that it must be. Will all succeed in the transformation process? Every child that attempts to ride a bicycle learns that it takes a sense of balance to succeed. That sense of balance develops with continual practice. The first few times out the child does not think he can do it but when he sees others riding near him it becomes a belief that it is possible. "They did it." Then it becomes reality with a little more practice. (Imagine that, He grows up into the place he always was intended to be.) On the other hand if all he heard was "it cannot be done." Why would he even attempt the very thing he was created to do.
In summary, Without the moral imperative I don't think change will be of any relevance. With the moral imperative you not only will desire change but you will accomplish it. The time frame is unimportant. The opinion of others is unimportant, Only the power of choice is important and with that power comes, in due time, the reality of change. The details of all the processes can be explained by the theologians and psycholigist but that simple "reality" is not up for debate.
God Bless,
Doug M.
Sickos?
some things have been going on and around in my head for quite some time now...
I've been involved in "ex-gay ministry" for a couple of years now and had my share of good reading, seminars, public appearances, meeting many people from all over the globe, ministering to those in need and so on.
Now something I really need to get off my chest: the way we are sometimes seen and might even see ourselves.
I have been reading lots of books & articles and I've watched people live or listened to them on cd and something strikes me to a point that I begin to not being even able to listen to it anymore (which is unreasonable, I admit):
If you read the ex-gay literature, the points that are usually stressed might sound like this:
- We had a problem with our fathers (either he was not there all together or emotionally not accessible)
- We have a bad brain/hand coordination
- Our mothers were dominant
- We have a problem building up healthy relationships (both same-sex and opposite-sex)
- We have a broken relationship with the Lord
- We have emotional problems (anxieties, depression...)
- We might have been sexually abused in our childhood
- We lost the contact to the male world and by having sex with other men, we try to make up for it and like this get back from those who we perceive as "different" than us ("real men"), what we believe we do not have
- We have a "gender identity disorder"
- We are way too impulsive
- We have a hard time concentrating on a goal and pursuing it no matter what (no matter how long it takes and how hard it will be to get there)
- Somehow we are still littel boys (the little kid in us keeps on popping up and the big dude fails to take over)
- We are confused as to our masulinity
- We need healthy heterosexual male mentors
- We have a big problem pitying ourselves
- We are wimps
- We are way too feminine and need to learn what being a man is all about
- We have a problem with porn, masturbation, sex...
- We are suicidal
- We don't have stress resistance
- and so on and so forth...
Does that sound familiar?
Now you tell me how that sounds like.
First of all: all of that sure is true (even though not for everyone of us - another thing people tend to forget at times!), no doubt about that. And people like Satinover, Aardweg, Nicolosi and so on have done a great job teaching us all of that. Also: if you want to enter the ring, you need to know your opponent - both spiritually and scientifically.
BUT:
Doesn't that make us look like real sickos? I mean, really: if you read all of that and if you haven't felt bad about yourself, now would be the perfect time time to start!
Do people really think it helps us to make us look like psychos, like poor little things that are somehow mentally handicapped and need pity?
Healing? Like from a contagious disease?
Sure - we need to heal, but that ain't the way to start, even though each or those issues might have to be dealt with on the way.
First of all - and most of all - we need to love and accept us JUST THE WAY WE ARE.
If we can't get to that point, it hepls us nothing to get on the therapy train. If we don't learn to love ourselves, we cannot love God or others either.
And P-L-E-A-S-E don't come up with commonplaces now like "God loves you just the way you are - but He loves you way too much to let you stay that way!"! Of course, it is basically true - but the intention behind it somehow sounds shallow and hypocrite to me.
God loves us the way we are and so should we. Period. The fact that "those feelings" are there, is by itself not something bad. It is the acting out part that gets you in trouble.
Now of course, we need to change things in our lives - according to all the points mentioned above. Like every other Christian does (yes, another thing people tend to forget).
As I said: I've read and heard lots of that ex-gay stuff - and it was extremely helpful on the way. No question about that. But it doesn't reach the heart, and that's where it has to sink in. That's why we need those "healthy male relationships". And - contrary to some assumptions - you cannot classify the men we should reach out to as to "better" or "worse". Heterosexual mentors are needed just as much as fellow strugglers. Also regarding the therapists: There are some out there who look at the whole thing from the outside - as scientists. Whcih is basically not a bad thing. They can produce valuable results - and they do - but sometimes you need people who know how that feels, because they have "those feelings", too. Some might tell me now that oyu don't have to be alcoholic either to treat one. Whereas I respond that sarcasm like this gets you nowhere fast. Alcoholism and same-sex attractions are in no way comparable - even if some things in the lives of those people might look familiar.
Think about it: As a man, I could spend my whole life watching women and make scientific studies about them and write one book after the other about women. Cool. Nothing to be said against that. But sometimes it does take a woman to understand how a woman really feels!
To cut it short: it is the mixture that counts.
As to masculinity that's definitely an extremely important issue - FOR EVERY MAN OUT THERE (for more info, watch www.mensfraternity.com). We are different, no doubt, but that is not a bad thing. Even though we need to work on becoming a man (by being shaped by other men, like every other dude out there!), there is no need to become a copycat. You don't have to imitate someone to become a man. One trait of masculinity is being authentic - and trying to look and act like someone else sure ain't authentic.
As to myself: I've gone along way and many people helped me during the last couple of years - for which I am deeply thankful. But at some point it is important to close a chapter of the book of your life to start a new one. I do not want to live in the past anymore.
Does that mean I quit ministering to people who seek freedom from same-sex attractions? No.
But it sure means that I discovered other things that are important to me. That I have found peace with my past and the people involved - and do not need to give testimony all the time. That I have rediscovered my masculinity and my true self. That I do not have to deal with ex-gay issues 24/7 anymore.
Yes, I realize that I have to be on guard for the rest of my days, being fully aware that sin is always but a step away. But again: that ain't no different from any other man.
And this is what I am:: a totally normal heterosexual man - who happens to have same-sex feelings at times.
I have come to love myself - and starting from there I can reach out to others, trying to pass on some of all that love the Lord has given me.
Think about it.
Robert
Zitat
"Es ist in Ordnung, wenn ein Mann seinen Penis entfernt haben möchte, damit er Sex als eine heterosexuelle Frau haben kann, aber es ist nicht in Ordnung, eine Therapie zu bekommen, wenn er Sex mit einer Frau haben und eine Familie gründen möchte!"
Dr. Michael Brown
Links
Nicolosi: The Double-Loop Experience
Nicolosi: The Three Phases of the Transformative Experience
Legal And Ethical Implications of Refusing to Counsel Homosexual Clients
What If I Don't Change?
The Double-Loop Experience
Homosexualität verstehen
Nicolosi: The Three Phases of the Transformative Experience
What Gay Activists Should Admit
The Question is Not 'Can Gays Change', But How Many Already Have?
Thoughts to Ponder...
God to take away my habit.
God said, No.
It is not for me to take away, but for you to give it up.
I asked God to make my handicapped child whole.
God said, No.
His spirit is whole, his body is only temporary
I asked God to grant me patience.
God said, No.
Patience is a byproduct of tribulations;
it isn't granted, it is learned.
I asked God to give me happiness.
God said, No.
I give you blessings; Happiness is up to you.
I asked God to spare me pain.
God said, No.
Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares
and brings you closer to me.
I asked God to make my spirit grow.
God said, No.
You must grow on your own! ,
but I will prune you to make you fruitful.
I asked God for all things that I might enjoy life.
God said, No.
I will give you life, so that you may enjoy all things.
I asked God to help me LOVE others, as much as He loves me.
God said...Ahhhh, finally you have the idea.
www.crossministry.org
A homosexual fell into a pit and couldn't get himself out.
A religious fundamentalist came along and said, "You deserve your pit."
A psychologist came along and said, "Accept your pit. That way, you'll be
happy."
A religious liberal came along and said, "Your pit is God's beautiful
gift to you."
A gay activist came along and said, "Fight for the right to stay in your
pit."
A researcher came along and said "Discrimination against pits is illegal."
A charismatic came along and said, "Just confess that you're not in that
pit."
Respectable people came by and said, "We don't associate with
pit-dwellers."
The homosexual's mother came by and said, "It's your father's fault you're
in that pit."
The homosexual's father came by and said,"It's your mother's fault you're
in that pit."
The homosexual's wife came along and said, "It's all my fault you're in
that pit."
But Jesus, seeing the man, loved him, and reaching into the pit, put His
arms around the man and pulled him out.
Dear APA...
>
> Dear APA Board members,
>
> For over twenty years I have been free from homosexuality.
>
> I appreciate the formation of a "task force" for examining psychotherapy
> approaches to homosexuality. However, I am quite concerned the group
> locating
> members for the "task force" is the Committee on Gay and Bisexual
> Concerns
> (CLTGBC). This automatically excludes former homosexuals, like myself, as
> well as
> those who want to leave homosexuality from being represented on this
> future
> "task force."
>
> Thousands upon thousands are witnesses the ex-gay phenomena does exist.
> For
> research on homosexuality to be pure and authentic, the ex-gay factor
> must
> not be excluded from the equation. There is evidence to indicate
> homosexuality
> is a learned behavior and that some environmental factors can play a role
> in
> the development of homosexuality. This should be explored, not ignored.
>
> Does everyone desire to leave homosexuality? "No."
>
> Is everyone who attempts to leave homosexuality successful at becoming
> heterosexual? "No."
>
> Do some individuals desire a life free from homosexuality? "Yes."
>
> Are some successful in leaving homosexuality? "Yes."
>
> What makes some successful and some not? This warrants research.
>
> So many individuals are negatively affected by the consequences of
> homosexual behavior. When I reached the "end of my rope of homosexuality"
> and wanted
> out, I would have killed myself had I believed I could not leave it.
> Those who
> truly desire a life without homosexuality, have the right to explore that
> option. Only through a non bias "task force" will options be offered to
> those
> who seek a life free of homosexuality.
>
> I ask you in the name of genuine mental health science to appoint a non
> bias
> group of APA members to form the "task force" to investigate
> homosexuality
> in order for all aspects of the subject to be given equal opportunity.
>
> Thank you for your time and consideration of this request.
>
> Respectfully,
>
> Linda Wall
> P.O. Box 222
(used with permission from http://www.jonahweb.org/)
More Links...
Links National
Wikipedia: Ichdystone Sexualorientierung
kath.net: Wenn Homosexuelle unglücklich sind
kath.net: Schwul sein ist nicht genetisch bedingt
Bischof Andreas Laun auf kath.net: Parallelen zwischen dem Islam und der homosexuellen Ideologie
Medrum.de: "Es besteht Handlungsbedarf!". Appell des Salzburger Weihbischofs Andreas Laun
Resources
GodTube.com: Gay No More! (Video)
NARTH: Handbook of Therapy for Unwanted Homosexual Attractions: A Guide to Treatment
Shame and Attachment Loss: The Practical Work of Reparative Therapy (Taschenbuch)
von Joseph J. Nicolosi (Autor), H. Newton Maloney (Künstler), Robert Perloff (Künstler)
Taschenbuch: 474 Seiten
Verlag: Inter Varsity Pr (Mai 2009)
Sprache: Englisch
ISBN-10: 0830828990
ISBN-13: 978-0830828999
Healing Homosexuality: Case Stories of Reparative Therapy (Taschenbuch)
von Joseph Nicolosi (Autor), Lucy Freeman (Autor)
Taschenbuch: 240 Seiten
Verlag: Jason Aronson Inc (Juni 1997)
Sprache: Englisch
ISBN-10: 0765701448
ISBN-13: 978-0765701442
Leaving Homosexuality: A Practical Guide for Men and Women Looking for a Way Out (Taschenbuch)
von Alan Chambers (Autor)
Taschenbuch: 160 Seiten
Verlag: Harvest House Publ (15. Juli 2009)
Sprache: Englisch
ISBN-10: 0736926100
ISBN-13: 978-0736926102
Christliche Therapeuten
http://www.pallottiner-freising.de/v2/haus_referenten/artikel.php?id=1
Wir bitten euch, vorab mit den Therapeuten zu reden und abzuklären, wie deren Haltung zu diesem Thema ist. Sie sollten zumindest akzeptieren und respektieren, dass ihr als Christinnen und Christen eure gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen nicht ausleben wollt, sondern ein Leben führen möchtet, dass mit der biblischen Sexuallehre sowie mit der biblischen Lehre von mann und Frau im Einklang steht.
YOU TUBE
Dr. Robert Spitzer, a renowned psychiatrist who helped remove homosexuality as a disorder from the medical manual, is sympathetic to gay rights and maintains that some gays can change their sexual preference --
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qdeoh_ruI0
Richard Cohen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h289A-aiueQ
