JASON

• Informiere zunächst den Pfarrgemeinderat (bzw. die Brüderversammlung oder welches Gremium auch immer ihr habt) von deinen Plänen. Du wirst ihre Unterstützung brauchen.
• Informiere sie (und dich selbst) über dieses Thema. Dann suche in der Gemeinde nach Menschen, die die seelsorgerische Tätigkeit auf diesem Gebiet mit übernehmen könnten. Bereite sie auf ihre Aufgabe vor. Nimm Kontakt zu Ex-Gay Ministries auf.
• Unterrichte und lehre auch in deiner Gemeinde über dieses Thema. Lade Sprecher von Ex-Gay Ministries zu Seminaren ein. Wenn ihr Sonntagsschulen habt, beziehe Lehrer mit ein. Besprecht das Thema im Bibelunterricht. Predige darüber. Und versichere dich, dass all dies aus Liebe zu den betroffenen Menschen geschieht.
• Ein Beispiel: Predige nächsten Sonntag über Homosexualität. Sage der Gemeinde, wenn unter ihnen Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen sind, sollen sie dich diese Woche anrufen und einen Termin für regelmäßige Gespräche (Bibelstudien, rechenschaft, Seelsorge) mit dir vereinbaren - über mehrere Wochen. Frage gleichzeitig, ob sich Gemeindemitglieder zur Verfügung stellen, um diese Menschen auf dem langen (!) und harten Weg zu begleiten und deren Ansprechpartner zu sein (sie sollen sich nach dem Gottesdienst bei dir melden).
• Sei selbst ein Beispiel dafür, wie man richtig mit diesem Thema und den betroffenen Menschen umgehen sollte.

„Don Quixote, Cervantes‘ traurige Figur eines Ritters, traf in einem Dorf-Café eine junge Prostituierte. Die Menschen in diesem Dorf behandelten sie wie eine gewöhnliche Hure... Aber Don Quixote behandelte sie wie eine Lady und sagte ihr, dass sie tatsächlich eine edle Lady sei. Sie wurde Don Qixote‘s Dulcinea. Was er tat, war an die edle Frau zu appellieren, die tatsächlich im Inneren der Prostituierten versteckt war. Sie sah in seinen liebenden und Respekt-erfüllten Augen ein Abbild ihres wahren Selbst... Und so begann sie edel zu handeln; die Prostituierte wurde eine Lady, die Hure wurde eine Dulcinea.“ (J. Rinzema, The Sexual Revolution)

Links:

If AIDS is God's judgment against homosexuals, doesn't befriending them interfere with His will?

What can I do to make a gay person change?

If I have anything to do with a gay person socially, aren't I condoning his or her lifestyle?

I'm better suited to Christian political activism than to help someone gay. Shouldn't I focus on my strength?

The Gospel of
Disgrace

I Still Love
Homosexuals
(Part 1)

Homosexuals
(Part 2)

---

How to Love Homosexuals

(Part 1)

(This article is adapted and expanded from a workshop I taught at Saddleback Church's recent HIV/AIDS conference)

by Tim Wilkins

There is a form of love that is merely verbalized and nothing more. The words are as meaningless as the nauseating "no problem" often heard in the hospitality industry.

We cannot reach the homosexual until we first love the homosexual. One of W. E. Sangster's seven rules for personal evangelism was "Do not set out to make people good-love them."

No one has ever been argued out of homosexuality or into the Kingdom of God

I receive email from around the world-- much of it from men and women who not only suffer greatly from unwanted same-sex attractions, but from uncaring churches.

One such email came from a 19 year old man who lives in Singapore. Here's his email in his rough English.

r churches really against homosexuals

I am a gay n I left my church bcuz of many reasons, all the reasons r related 2 homosexuals.

reasons:

1st my paster went on stage n started insulting n joking abt homosexuals. every1 was laughing. I didnt think it was funny but I followed them and laugh cuz I don't 1 em 2 think I m a gay.

            2nd, my church brothers called me "a girl".

3rd, my sherperd, the person who taught me a lot of things on christianity when I joined the church call me "aqua" meaning gay. I was really hurt by that word. quite lot of people calls me that but I didnt expect my own sherperd 2 say such a thing 2 me. that's when I decided that I was borned without a soul n I was sent in2 this world 2 suffer. god never ever wanted me as his child.

Now I know that christianity is nver meant 4 me.

now the question that has been bothering me ever since I left is whether churches r really against homosexuals.

Thank u.


We live in denial if we dismiss this young man's pain-filled email with a glib "he misunderstands us Christians", or "he's too sensitive."

Loving Homosexuals Requires That You Have Experienced God's Love

It is impossible to express a love that you have not experienced. God says "I have loved you with an everlasting love." (Jer 31:3) And John the Apostle wrote "How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! " (I Jn 3:1)

God wants his love to be reciprocated, but he will not force us to love him. If you would love homosexuals best, you must love God most!

Dr. R. Albert Mohler, President of Southern Seminary writes "Evangelical Christians must ask ourselves some very hard questions, but the hardest may be this: Why is it that we have been so ineffective in reaching persons trapped in this particular pattern of sin?"

The atheist Voltaire may have had the answer. He wrote "If Christians want us to believe in a Redeemer, let them act redeemed." Ouch!!

Rick Warren says it like this, "There are two basic reasons people don't know Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. They have never met a Christian. They have met a Christian." Ouch again!!

Loving Homosexuals Requires Getting Right with God

You can be a Christian and still not be right with God.

A lady walked into a psychiatrist's office. She was wearing a strip of bacon over each ear and a poached egg on top of her head. As soon as she sat down, she struck a serious pose and said to the doctor, "I've come to talk to you about my brother-who has a problem."

Jesus said before you can remove the microscopic speck from your brother's eye, you need to eradicate the lumberyard from your own eye. (Loose translation of Matt 7)

A mother, father and their teenage son came to see me; the parents had learned their son had same-sex attractions by viewing the history on his computer-gay porn. One of the recommendations I made was to perform a DSL-ectomy on the home computer. Immediately the father became agitated saying "that's impossible, my work depends on it." I was not surprised to get a call from the son later that week. "I couldn't tell you the other day, but the reason dad became agitated at your suggestion to disconnect from the Internet is because I secretly know he has some sites he visits also."

Loving Homosexuals Requires Distinctive Qualities

Humility tops the list. A day after I hosted a TV show, I got a call from a pastor. "I saw you on TV last night. Do you find homosexuals in churches where you speak?" I replied, "I believe there are people with homosexual attractions in all churches." The pastor's proud and self-assured retort was, "Not in mine!"

Has it come to this? Do evangelicals pride themselves on the mistaken belief that their church has no one with homosexual attractions? Wake up and smell the latte!

Charles Spurgeon visited an affluent, aristocratic woman one day. He moved the conversation to sin and one's need of Christ. The woman said "Rev. Spurgeon-- I'll have you know I have not sinned in the last three weeks!" Spurgeon said "My, you must be awful proud of that" to which she answered "Indeed I am!"

Care is important. I had counseled Brandon for some time--every session a trying experience. He was haughty, arrogant, high-minded, caustic, and more abrasive than 40 grit sandpaper. On the morning of an appointment he left me a voice message "I don't think I need to see you anymore; this is not helping."

My first thought was "thank goodness that's over with!" But I realized my response was wrong and unbiblical. So I called him and left this message. "Brandon, I got your call and appreciate your honesty. I want you to know that if you ever need someone to scream at or curse, call me. You can say what you feel and I will listen."

A few minutes later Brandon called. He spoke haltingly, "Tim, this is Brandon. I got your message and was wondering if I could still make my appointment today?"

"Sure!"

Brandon walked in my office and sat down. I began, "Your initial message was that you did not want to continue, that this was not helping. What did I say in my message that changed your mind?"

Brandon's arrogance was gone. Unlike previous appointments, his demeanor was broken--his words sobering. "Tim, it's not so much what you said; it's because you care."

Warren Wiersbe writes "Lost sinners came to Jesus, not because He catered to them or compromised His message, but because He cared for them."

Empathy is "Direct identification with, understanding of, and vicarious experience of another person's situation, feelings, and motives." We often call it "walking in another man's shoes."

Kindness Mark Twain wrote, "Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see." (See Colossians 3:12)

Patience, gentleness and respect. "But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect..." (1 Pet 3:15) The episcopalian preacher Phillips Brooks wrote an "...element of a preacher's power is genuine respect for the people whom he preaches to."

Loving Homosexuals Requires Being Pro-Active

Many friends of homosexuals tell me "all I know to do is pray for her." I believe in prayer, but prayer is never an excuse for inaction! Love is a verb!

Have evangelicals forgotten that when Adam and Eve ate us out of house and home, God initiated a search and rescue mission-calling out to Adam, "Where are you?"

Are we inoculated against the miracle of the Incarnation- forgetting that God left the splendor of heaven for the stench of a cow stall-to become a man and dwell among us?

And have we underestimated the fact that nowhere in Scripture is God ever pictured in a hurry-except in Jesus' parable of the prodigal son? The father, who represents our Heavenly Father, races to the wayward son. (Luke 15)

Loving Homosexuals Requires Believing in Freedom from Homosexuality

A 'love' that rejects the reality of freedom should be considered "cruel and unusual punishment." A grace that forgives us of sin, but does not free us from sin is a grace not worth having. Individuals who hold to "once a homosexual, always a homosexual" should take Christ's words to heart--"You know neither the scripture nor the power of God." (Matt 22:29)

(Look for Part 2 tomorrow)



Cross Ministry
PO Box 1122
Wake Forest, NC 27588
919/569-0375

www.CrossMinistry.org

Equipping the Church to Evangelize and Disciple the Homosexual

How to Love Homosexuals

(Part 2)

(This article is adapted and expanded from a workshop I taught at Saddleback Church's recent HIV/AIDS conference)

by Tim Wilkins

Loving Homosexuals Requires Asking Their Forgiveness

I know what you're thinking "the writer of this article is crazy; why should I ask forgiveness from my gay family member? He's the one living in sin!"

Bear with me here.

Larry Burtoft writes "If the biblical and theological perspectives are right which see in homosexual behavior one of the myriad forms which human fallenness can take, then those engaged in such behavior deserve...the offer of divine forgiveness and healing which is available." I would add that evangelicals need to ask homosexuals' forgiveness for some inappropriate responses we have made to this issue. Note I said "responses" not "beliefs."

This recommendation is often met with incredulity. Take a spiritual inventory. When you first learned that a friend or family member was homosexual, did you curse them? Did you scream at them? Did you use any language unbecoming a Christian? Did you condemn them? Did you entertain the thought "I'm glad I'm not like him." Did you gloat? Did you feel yourself to be holier than him?

If you did any of the above things, you have sinned against God and homosexuals and need forgiveness. First, go to God and ask His forgiveness. "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." (1 Jn 1:9)

Then go to the homosexual and ask her forgiveness. No emails or letters; this needs to be face-to-face or if distance is an issue, make a phone call. Here's an example of what to say. "When I learned of your same-sex attractions, I said some angry things I should not have. While I still hold to my beliefs on the issue, I ask your forgiveness for the mean-spirited remarks I made. Would you please forgive me?"

At this point you wait for them to say "I forgive you." If they will not forgive you or take the conversation in another direction, remain polite and respectful. Remember, you are not asking forgiveness in order to gain a confession of sin from them. Your request for forgiveness needs to be personal, brief and sincere.

You are not responsible for how they treat you; you are responsible for how you treat them!

In preparation for a speaking engagement at a major university, I encouraged the inviting organization to run an ad in the student newspaper. I wrote the following ad which they ran.

Apology to Gays Overdue (that headline caught attention)

While we have clearly communicated our beliefs about homosexuality, we confess we have not always done so with humility. Our conspicuous, self-righteous attitudes have contradicted the very message we proclaim. We have regularly emphasized truth to the neglect of love. Often our desire to be right has overshadowed our responsibility to be respectful.

We confess that we are sinners in need of God's grace, that the way we live our lives has not always matched what we confess with our lips. We confess that although all of us are created in God's image, that image has been marred by our own deliberate sin against our Creator and we long to be remade in His image through the atoning death of Jesus Christ.

Thus we apologize for the way in which we have addressed this issue. We ask your forgiveness and commit ourselves to build bridges of friendship based on human dignity rather than human sexuality.

(The date and time of my speaking followed.)

Loving Homosexuals Requires More Than Words

1 John 3:18 reads "Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth." (Emphasis added)

When a friend or family member of a homosexual contacts me, an initial question is "what do I tell him so he will leave this lifestyle?" As if there is a magic set of words that will do the trick.

In 1979 Adrian Rogers was elected as President of the Southern Baptist Convention. He could have run for re-election in 1980, but chose not to. When asked by a reporter why he was not running for a second term, Rogers said God told him not to. The reporter then asked "Did God speak to you in an audible voice?" Adrian Rogers revealed one of God's attributes when he answered "No, It was louder than that!"

If God can speak in inaudible ways, can his children not also? Chuck Colson and his wife have the following matted and framed in their home "Christians should share the gospel at all times and if necessary, use words."

Loving Homosexuals Requires Touch

Physical touch is not optional, it is essential! Americans, particularly men, are reticent to express affection to each other. Not so in other countries, nor in the Bible. In China, Africa and other countries it is common to see men embrace and hold hands. When I was in East Africa a few years ago, I noticed two teenage boys with their arms thrown over each others' shoulders. Ron Taffel, in his book Why Parents Disagree, recounts a father's question, "Is it all right if I hug and kiss my two-and-a-half-year-old son goodnight? I'm afraid it will turn him into a homosexual."

Such thinking is counterintuitive!

Some in the church defend their resistance to ex-gay ministry on the grounds that homosexuality is a dirty subject-to which I politely say-- "I am not aware of a 'clean sin.'." God the Father got His hands dirty when He "...formed man from the dust of the ground." (Gen. 2:7) God the Son got His hands dirty when He washed the dust/dirt/sewage from the disciple's feet. (John 13:5)

Communicate love physically, not just verbally! Biblical examples of demonstrative male friendship include David and Jonathan, Paul and Timothy and Jesus and John the Beloved Apostle (John 21:20)

Loving Homosexuals Requires Telling the Truth

Take another inventory. When you read the previous point-"Loving Homosexuals Requires Telling the Truth", which truth did you first think of?

--that homosexuality is sin, an abomination or similar thought OR

--that when a person asks forgiveness, God separates them from their sin as far as the 'east is from the west' or 'and such were some of         you?' or similar thought

My point is this-- I find that when the word truth is used in relation to homosexuality, many Christians first think of "sin" or "abomination" versus God's transforming grace. We must give people the whole counsel of God. What people need is "the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth."

Let me illustrate this with an actual email I received from a Christian man who mistakenly thought I was still a homosexual.

"I will continue to pray for your misunderstanding and immoral offenses. I have faith that God will open a door for you so you can realize your sins. Here is a verse written by Paul in Corinthians. 'Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.'

If Jesus was ok with homosexuality, then why was Paul and everyone else to follow the Christian movement until the late 20th century so against it? The Bible talks about such catamites as this in the end times. Please find the truth."

Much love, Tom (not his real name)

I do not advocate Tom's form of evangelism for the same reason I do not advocate sticking one's lips in a meat grinder.

Tom made some major mistakes. First, he assumed I was homosexual. Second, the tone of his email is less than loving; on the contrary it reeks with arrogance. And thirdly, Tom does not give me the whole truth when he quotes 1 Corinthians. He quotes verses nine and ten, but omits verse eleven which is crucial to the text. Versus eleven reads "And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus." (Emphasis added)

Also note that telling the truth does not mean converting homosexuals to heterosexuality. Many Christians peddle heterosexuality like it's 'another gospel.' (See Galatians 1:6) Conversion is to Jesus Christ who, in turn, transforms us. Jesus did not say "Go and make heterosexuals." He said "Go and make disciples."

Loving Homosexuals Requires Listening

James 1:19 reads "My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry."

We can learn a lesson from Job. His oxen and donkeys are stolen. His servants and sheep are killed. His camels are carried off. A storm collapses a house-killing his sons and daughters. And his health deteriorates dramatically. When Job's three friends hear of his multiple calamities, they go to comfort him. Because of Job's poor health, he is unrecognizable to the friends who weep in sympathy.

Here's the important part. "Then (the friends) sat down on the ground with (Job) for seven days and seven nights with no one speaking a word to him, for they saw that his pain was very great." (Job 2:13) (Emphasis added.) Can you imagine sitting with a hurting homosexual and remaining silent for a week? Some Christians can not be silent seven seconds when the issue of homosexuality is broached.

After addressing a church group, a visibly-angry lesbian made her way toward me. My understandable fear subsided when I got the story. The lesbian's sister would not allow the lesbian's partner to visit her nephew and niece.

Though tempted to interrupt her tirade and say the sister had the right and responsibility to guard her childrens' exposure to such relationships, I sensed I should remain silent and just listen compassionately.

Then, with no hint that things were about to change, tears began to stream down her face. In a soft-spoken voice I asked "Why are you crying?" Though she didn't answer my question directly, and what's more I already knew, her reply spoke volumes, "I cry all the time." I pulled up two chairs; we sat down and for more than an hour I listened to her story of hurt and confusion.

Do not miss the point! If I had not kept my mouth shut, this lady and I would never have connected.

Peter Marshall said, "There are aspects of the gospel that are puzzling and difficult to understand. But our problems are not centered around the things we don't understand, but rather in the things we do understand. This, after all, is but an illustration of the fact that our problem is not so much that we don't know what we should do. We know perfectly well, but we don't want to do it."

Is it possible that what many Christians do not want to do is love?

Jesus said "...all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." (John 13:35)

If you beleive in what Cross Ministry is doing, please consider mailing a tax-deductible gift today.

Cross Ministry
PO Box 1122
Wake Forest, NC 27588
919/569-0375

www.CrossMinistry.org

Equipping the Church to Evangelize and Disciple the Homosexual

(Let Us Sit At Their Well, Practical steps to reach someone who is sexually broken,Families Matter, Tips for Sharing the Gospel, Transsexualism in the Church: A pastor responds, I am going to pour out my Spirit on all flesh)

• Q&A: How Do I Respond When a Friend Comes Out?
  with Dr. Henry Cloud

I dedicate this last thought tonight to my very dear and treasurered
brothers in HA.

May the Lord's blessing always remain with you.

In His service.

Les.

I Am



I am a worthwhile person.

I am entitled to be who I am.

If you can't accept me as I am,

Then you are not worthy

To be a part of my life

To ignore or reject who I am

Is your loss.

I deserve uncompromised devotion.

Anything less is unacceptable.

If you can't view me

As the treasure, the prize

That I am,

Then forget it--

I am worth more than that.

There will be others

Who will recognize

The worthiness of who I am.

I am who I am

And I am a worthwhile person.


Likewise, please consider the song as written velow, MIRACLES DO HAPPEN....
and praise God for that.

~L~

"Miracles happen because one happened to me. I can't explain it but  I no it
was especially for me. Miracles happen and now one's     happening today,
thank You Jesus for first loving me." ( Song )

Links:

From Exodus Youth:

answering hate

Is there really a disagreement about hate crimes in America today? Are people actually debating over teen suicide? The truth is that everyone agrees both of these things are horrible and we should work to eradicate them. But not everyone shares this goal. There are those who doctor numbers and distort reality, capitalizing on tragedy to further an altogether unrelated agenda.

For years we have heard that suicide is the number one cause of death among gay-identified youth.
Researchers reported that as many as a third of all gay-identifying teens attempted suicide. But now, even openly gay researchers are debunking these findings. Rich Savin-Williams found that a lot of the studies magnified the problem because they didn’t distinguish thought from action. In other words, teens who had had suicidal thoughts were counted among those who had actually attempted suicide. Still, this inaccurate information is used to justify the “need” for homosexual organizations to dictate what public schools teach adolescents and children about sexuality. It is also used dishonestly to vilify those who believe in change.

When a disturbed teenager viciously attacked gay bar patrons in Massachusetts, some gay activists faulted James Dobson. But when police searched the murderer’s home, did they find a copy of ‘Bringing Up Boys’, or an Exodus brochure? No. They found
materials from white supremacist groups.

What people should know is that those who really do hate gays hate Exodus too! They hate us because we work as hard as anyone to put an end to bigotry. We are teaching the church to love homosexuals. We don’t condone homosexual behavior, but we encourage the Body of Christ to get out of their comfort zone and love the person behind the issue and to walk alongside those who are on the long, hard road to freedom. That’s what people walk away with from events like Love Won Out and Groundswell.

Our critics attempt to pin hate crimes and suicide to us because there’s no honest way to discount the truth that there is freedom from homosexuality in Christ! Scientific and social research have only shown that same-sex attraction isn’t genetic and
doesn’t have to dictate the course of one’s life—and when it’s allowed to, the effect is often detrimental.

Those who are truly concerned about victims of abuse and despair will seek out the real causes and engage in honest activism. But some choose to spin these issues to defame those who stand against their efforts to disintegrate the meaning of family and
indoctrinate younger and younger schoolchildren with sexual confusion. If they really cared, they would discern the vast difference between a hate crime and a lifestyle of purity. If they were truly tolerant, they wouldn’t need to direct false accusations at
everyone who disagrees with them.

As representatives of Christ, it is our duty to stand up for those who are hated and judged. This does not involve condoning sin, as Jesus demonstrated by saying to the woman caught in adultery, “Neither do I condemn you. Go now and leave your life of sin.” (John 8:11). But first, He chased away those who accused her in their self-righteousness. We can change lives with the
grace Jesus exemplified.

We don’t do this by redefining marriage, we do it by being a friend to the lonely and sticking up for the bullied. We don’t do
this by supporting legislation that is contrived to silence the truth, but by speaking the truth even when lies are more popular. We don’t do this by offering false hope in sexual permissiveness; we do it by sharing the Good News of Jesus Christ and facilitating the healing that is not only possible, but promised.