1. Minimal Qualification for Jacks Candidate Assistant Status (CANDI-ASS – Status)
1.1. Must play in at least one official Jacks Tournament
1.2. Must have a penis[1]
1.3. Must pay tournament fee[2]
1.4. Must not be convicted and/or serving time
1.5. Must play in all games for a given tournament weekend
1.5.1. Tardiness of more than a period disqualifies the player
1.6 Must be voted for retention by a majority of JACKS Legacy players
2. Minimal Qualification for Jacks Official Status (Jacks Off. - Status)
2.1. Must meet all qualifications as noted above in 1.0 plus:
2.2. Must play in at least 3 tournaments
2.3. Must be at least 30 years of age
2.4. Must have contributed at least 1 funny story to the Jacks News Letter
2.5. Must have recruited at least one Jacks CANDI-ASS to the team
2.6. Must be voted for continued retention by a majority of JACKS Legacy players
3. Minimal qualifications for Jacks “Legacy Status” (Made Man-Status) (see Selflessness Exception)[3]
3.1. 35 years or older
3.1.1. Jacks Legacy Status is akin to the Presidency of the
3.2. Must own or rent own home.
3.2.1. Cannot be living with parents
3.3. Must have played in more than 5 official Jacks Tournaments[4]
3.4. Submission of a 500 word essay entitled “Why I want to be a Jack”
3.5. Nomination by at least 2 Official legacy players
3.6. Play in at least one tournament outside of home state after you become a parent[5]
3.6.1. Mike Nies Proviso – we’d rather he didn’t spawn
3.7. Passing grade on Meyers-Jacks Personality Profile Test (see below).
3.8. The legacy player nominating the Jack Off must then defend the nominee in front of the Board of Directors prior to successfully receiving a majority vote. In the case of a tie the President Pro Tem casts the deciding vote. If selected for Legacy status this player is known as the FNG Legacy player and is responsible for making sure that Legacy players’ beverages stay charged during Board meetings. He is relieved of FNG Legacy player responsibilities once a subsequent player is selected.
4. Minimal qualification of an Official Jacks Tournament
4.1. Must be played on ice
4.2. Regulation size rink
4.3. Must be 5 + goalie per side
4.4. At least 3 games
4.5. Must have an entrance fee separate from a league fee
4.6. Must have beer served
4.7 Must wear Original Blue, Original Gold, or New Jack Green Jersey
4.8 Must have 7 or More Jacks Candidate players
[1] Not to be confused with being a penis
[2] This is why Joel “Chain Gang” Senger is not on List
[3] Selflessness Act. - Any player who is willing to mutilate, tattoo or otherwise distinguish themselves through
a single act or play can have one or more of the Legacy Status rules waived by a vote of 4 or more Legacy players who witness said action
first hand.
[4] See 4.0 for official rules