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255 Comments
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Tony "I love JR" Ryan
03:03 PM on October 21, 2009
We have to keep Tork. Because, he...oh, did I tell you I know Jeremy Roenick? Yeah, I do. We're BFFs. One time at band camp, we were vacationing on a beach together and he was looking around and I said "This is killing you, isn't it" and he said "What?" and I said "that no one is recognizing you" and he said "yeah". Another time, me and some friends were sitting around comparing fanny packs and we decided to have a contest of who could get a NHL player on the phone faster. So, I called JR (in violation of the restraining order he has on me) and I won.
Wait, what were we talking about? Oh yeah, so, that's why we need to keep Tork.
Did I mention I know Jeremy Roenick?
Wait, what were we talking about? Oh yeah, so, that's why we need to keep Tork.
Did I mention I know Jeremy Roenick?
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Tuff Luck Guy
01:55 PM on October 21, 2009
Rule 1.2 Must have Penis. If one has a penis, one knows how to shot gun a beer.
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DC Howe, Esq. - Attorney for Torkelson
01:00 PM on October 21, 2009
Descrimination and Wrongful Persecution lawsuits are currently beng filed in the states of VA, IL, and FL. Nowhere in the Jacks By-Laws does it state one must be able to shotgun a beer in order to be a Jack. Furthermore, the lawsuits cites several instances of the accused actually demonstating the shotgun process to several Jack's recruits. Complaintant is seeking a promotion to the A team and an unspecified amount of Jacks gear in compensation.
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Admin
12:01 PM on October 21, 2009
If you dont know how to shotgun a beer you are not eleigible to be a Jack.
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Jimmy Ballsack
11:07 AM on October 21, 2009
But, if we kick off Torkelson, who will show all the rookies how to shotgun a beer?
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Jacks Admin Staff
05:31 PM on October 20, 2009
Jacks
Please delete Torkelson from your email distribution list t and deny any existence of upcoming Jacks Tournaments. Failure to comply will result in you immediate dismissal from the Jacks Hockey Club. Torkelson is being investigated for unspecified rules violations.
Please delete Torkelson from your email distribution list t and deny any existence of upcoming Jacks Tournaments. Failure to comply will result in you immediate dismissal from the Jacks Hockey Club. Torkelson is being investigated for unspecified rules violations.
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Jacks President
05:13 PM on October 20, 2009
Who in the hell is Don Skelly? I don't remember a Don playing in a Jacks tourney!!!
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TR
05:06 PM on October 20, 2009
Should I be nervous? If Greg is Mississippi, the I must be Arkansas, and Mississippi is the only thing keeping Arkansas from being the worst state in the country. If Mississippi gets cut .....
