Music played such an important role in our relationship; second only to humor and fun. It began when we were both in our teens and liked the same genre of music, rock. He was obsessive about his albums and I was not allowed to touch them. ~I always was a rebel.~ My biggest mistake of all time was writing out my love for my then-boyfriend on Todd's "NightRanger" album (that "then-boyfriend" is now my husband...what can I say...at least I didn't destruct his property on a passing fancy). From that moment on I was banned from his room and therefore any access to his beloved albums. He "booby-trapped" his albums with small slips of paper and when one small slip was out of place my Mother was sure to be the first to know of my criminal activities. In my defense, I was accused more often than I was actually guilty and I blame it on gravity.

As we grew older, got married (me to my "then-boyfriend, Todd to my best friend) and lived in separate households we were able to share our love for the same type of music together. I'm sure this is because I no longer had access to his albums (now CD's) and he could breathe easily at night knowing I wasn't going to sneak in and mishandle them or bless them with my autograph or artwork. Some of my favorite memories come from the last couple of years together. We would spend hours on the phone, sitting in front of our computers, trying to out do the other by having in our possession a song, usually from the 70's or 80's, that the other one "had totally forgot about." It was like a weird Jeopardy category and would go something like this: Todd "Betchu don't have this one..," then he would begin playing the song but just the intro. In this case it was the beginning of Henry Gross's "Shannon." It was then my job to guess the song, which I could do 9 times out of 10. We found ourselves saying, "Oh man, I totally forgot about that song," a lot and would often write it down to download later. We spent many hours and days "wasting time" on our music matches, but we enjoyed those times more than any "productive" time we ever spent together.

The title of this paragraph is  misleading because even in death our "music matches" continue. You can call it coincidence or synchronicity but I FEEL it and accept that we are still communicating through music. It seems fitting that this should be so. It gives me immense comfort and has been a constant lifeline for me; when I am missing him, he comes to me with a song that seems to continually say to me, "Don't cry, don't worry...I'm still here, we're still connected, we'll see each other again someday." I feel him in every guitar rift and in every song we've ever shared. We loved with music and I mourn him with music. Below is a very long list of songs that hold the memories, silent conversations, laughter and tears of Todd and I.

"When I hear music, I fear no danger. I am invulnerable. I see no foe. I am related to the earliest times, and to the latest."

                                     ~ Henry David Thoreau

Due to the list being so long, please bear with me until I can complete it. Check back soon.

Til I See You Again ~ Jim Brickman

Go Rest High On That Mountain ~ Vince Gill

I'm Already There ~ Lonestar

Terry Jacks ~ Seasons in the Sun

Henry Gross ~ Shannon

Boston ~ Feelin' Satisfied

Boston ~ Living Without You

Triump ~ Magic Power

Triumph ~ Fight the Good Fight

Kansas ~ Fooling Yourself (The Angry Young Man)

Kansas ~ Hold On

Kansas ~ Dust in the Wind

Queen ~ The Show Must Go On

Edwin Dare ~ Never Had Time

Edwin Dare ~ The Warrior

Europe ~ Carrie

Don McLean ~ Vincent (Starry, Starry Night)

Elton John ~ Daniel

Elton John ~ Someone Saved My Life Tonight

Elton John ~ Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word

The Hollies ~ He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother

Diamond Rio ~ I Believe

Brad Paisley ~ Whiskey Lullabye

Enuff Z Nuff ~ Fly High Michelle

Mark McGann ~ A Heartbeat Away

Seether (feat. Amy Lee) ~ Broken

Shinedown ~ 45

White Lion ~ Little Fighter

The Moody Blues ~ Knights in White Satin

White Lion ~ When the Children Cry

The Cult ~ Edie (Ciao Baby)

The Cult ~ Brother Wolf, Sister Moon

Type O Negative ~ Nettie

Sarah McLachlan ~ Adia

Sarah McLachlan ~ I Will Remember You

Sarah McLachlan ~ Angel

Carpenters ~ Song For You

Mariah Carey ~ One Sweet Day

O-Town ~ I Showed Her

Giant ~ I'll See You in My Dreams

Coldplay ~ The Scientist

Coldplay ~ Trouble

Coldplay ~ Yellow

Stone Sour ~ Bother

Tool ~ Parabola

Ozzy Osbourne ~ See You On the Other Side

Ozzy Osbourne ~ Goodbye To Romance

Ozzy & Lita Ford ~ If I Close My Eyes Forever

Evanescence ~ Understanding (Wash It All Away)

Evanescence ~ Bring Me To Life

Evanescence ~ My Immortal

Evanescence ~ Tourniquet

Evanescence ~ Taking Over Me

Evanescence ~ My Last Breath

Evanescence ~ Whisper

Evanescence ~ Listen To The Rain

Evanescence ~ October

Evanescence ~ Forgive Me

Evanescence ~ Exodus

Evanescence ~ Anywhere

Evanescence ~ Before The Dawn

Evanescence ~ Even In Death

Evanescence ~ Missing

Eva Cassidy ~ Autumn Leaves

Eva Cassidy ~ Songbird

Eva Cassidy ~ I Know You By Heart

Roxette ~ Spending My Time

Barbara Streisand ~ Memory

Barbara Streisand ~ The Way We Were

Judas Priest ~ Beyond the Realm of Death

Pink Floyd ~ Shine on You Crazy Diamond

Pink Floyd ~ Wish You Were Here

Skid Row ~ In A Darkened Room

Skid Row ~ Wasted Time

Skid Row ~ 18 and Life

Slaughter ~ Fly To The Angels

Slaughter ~ Days Gone By

Kix ~ Don't Close Your Eyes

Queensryche ~ Silent Lucidity

Queensryche ~ Eyes of a Stranger

Switchfoot ~ Meant To Live

Rainbow ~ Street of Dreams

Vinnie Vincent ~ Love Kills

"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats"

                                             ~ Albert Schweitzer