The Street Pole



Nathan and Peter Petrelli were merrily walking down the street one day, discussing how fortunate it was that nobody had ended up exploding, when they spotted a little girl stuck up on top of a street sign.

"Help! Help!" she cried, as the two brothers stared up at her in confusion.

"How did she get up there?!" Nathan cried incredulously.

"I'll help her," Peter said. He rolled up his sleeves and began to climb his way up the street sign, passerby stopping to watch and cheer him on.

Oh my, Nathan thought to himself. Peter's pants were much too tight...his ass looked like it was ready to burst out of his jeans...quite a nice ass he had, too. Very...round, and...

As Nathan gaped at his brother in a stupor, Peter reached the top of the street sign and grabbed the little girl by the waist. This only seemed to panic her further, however, and she started screaming at the top of her lungs.

"AAAAHHH! HELP! MAKE HIM LET ME GO!! MOMMY!!"

"Hey, be quiet, okay?" Peter said, bringing a finger to his lips. Nathan's left eye twitched. He wished he was that finger... "It's going to be fine. I'm gonna get you down from here, okay?"

Peter then gently eased her down to the ground, where her very worried mother hugged and kissed her. The crowd applauded Peter, who jumped gracefully onto the sidewalk.

Nathan seemed to have lost the ability to speak. "Ghqfbvqoru."

"Uh, what?"

"Hwhbebq."

"Um...could you repeat that?"

"Ufioeqojoep gorpoj efuq. Ihfbe wjfwfoi ejoew."

"Are those words you're speaking? Because I can't—"

Nathan suddenly embraced Peter. Peter cautiously patted Nathan on the shoulder, indicating his desire to be released, but Nathan would not let go.

"Nathan? Are you feeling all right?" Peter asked nervously.

"You. Me. My place," Nathan whispered in his ear.

"Huh? But we just came from—"

"NOW." And he yanked Peter by the arm back towards the Petrelli mansion.



"Nathan, what is this all about?!" Peter exclaimed as Nathan shoved him inside the house and slammed the door shut.

"You know what this is all about," Nathan said in his most seductive voice.

"Um...no, actually." He was becoming rather uneasy.

Nathan smirked. "How about we play a game."

Peter blinked. "Why?"

"Why not?" He shrugged and smiled.

"Er, all right. What is it?"

"It's called 'pick my tie'," Nathan said, and strode into the living room. Utterly perplexed, Peter followed him. What the hell was going on? Why did Nathan want him to pick his tie? Wasn't he already wearing one?

"What the hell is 'pick my tie"?" Peter asked.

"You just have to answer a simple question," Nathan said, leaning against the bureau, his arms crossed. "Is my tie red or blue?"

Peter stared at him."What?"

"Is my tie red or blue?"

Peter looked. "It's not red or blue. It's black."

"I don't see how my tie could possibly be black," he said blandly. "It's either red or blue."

"No it's not! I'm looking right at it—"

"Just pick one, dammit!"

"I don't like this game."

"Red or blue, Pete?"

"I dunno. Blue."

"Wrong answer!" Nathan cried, and whipped off his pants. "My 'tie' is red!"

"What the FUCK?!" Peter gazed in horror at Nathan's...exposure. "Is 'tie' supposed to be some sort of weird-ass euphemism for penis?"

"Of course! What else would it be?"

"I don't—I mean—how did you even—you just tore your pants right—WHY ARE YOU SHOWING ME YOUR—?" He stumbled backwards as the realization hit him.

Nathan cocked his eyebrow. "You're a very attractive man, Peter."

"Holy—no! Nathan! What the hell are you on?! Have you been hitting mom's secret stash again?"

"The only thing I'm high on is you," Nathan said.

"You're my BROTHER! Brother! Broth! Er!"

"I'm well aware of the fact."

Peter fell backwards onto the couch. "You're insane! I'm getting out of here!"

"No you're not," Nathan said, and suddenly leapt on top of Peter, who started screaming.

"MOM! CLAIRE! SOMEBODY! HELP!"

"They're not home. It's just you and me...bro."

"No! Nath—" But he was cut off when his brother started kissing him furiously, his hands running through Peter's suddenly-grown-back emo bangs.

When Nathan pulled away, Peter was panting heavily, staring up at his brother with wide, fearful eyes.

"You—you just—"

"Don't tell me you didn't like it."

Peter paused and thought about it for a moment.

Oh, what the hell, he thought, and he and his blood relation began to fuck each other like nobody's business.