i just want to be beautiful

Ok. So im seventeen now. Great huh? Nearly an adult legally. Im guessing some of you will be thirteen or fourteen, pretty new to this 'pro ana stuff'. Letters to ana, tips and tricks. Few easy steps and you're thin and happy. Sorted.

Ok so maybe you arent that naive, i'm hoping not. Thing is at seventeen i'm not sorted. I went to college. Getting my results in a week, one more year and I go to uni. Maybe i'll post again in a year.

My friend I mentioned is now in a hospital. Shes very depressed and im not exactly great either. Guess what? I found my gag reflex. Bang. I'm bulimic. Oh shit. Put on weight. Oh crap. Cant stop purging. Damn. Stop eating, lose weight. Crazy hungry. Eat a little. Binge. Purge. Feel crap.

Isnt it wonderful? As i said below. I still have friends. I'm smart. Im still with my boyfriend. he still doesnt know. Which makes me wonder if he knows anything about me at all, or my friends, or family.

Just a reminder that this isnt great ok? So if you are just starting out, i was once just unhappy about my body. hated my thighs. I did not have an eating disorder. Now I do.

Thats the first time I've thought of it like that.

I hope you all find happiness without this one day.

notice: this is not a website for those who just want to be thin. It is for those who are unhappy about their bodies and need supoort.

My name is Lucy I am fifteen years old and am desperately unhappy with my body, and have EDNOS. For those of you who are not aware of this it means that although I have an eating disorder I  am still not an unhealthy weight, and still have periods.  I skip meals, throw away food and cut myself when i do eat. My time is preoccupied with calorie counting and thinking about food. So please, if you wish to become like me, feel free to enter, welcome to my world.

UPDATE: As some of you may be aware, this website used to have my bolg, give tips and tricks, and all the other stuff.  But, now becuase im getting better I have updated, so you can see how I feel now, I also have removed the guestbook, and replaced it with a new one. So have a look around, and i hope one day that everyone here will realise that you are all beautiful.