Vegeta’s Diary

 

Week 1

Dear… Book… thing.

Whatever the HFIL this thing is supposed to be.  Stupid onna, making me take counseling.  Anger management my princely @ss! I’m supposed to write my Cough feelings in this ridiculous thing and the woman will be reading them just to make sure I do it…

Really, this “Group therapy” thing is a joke.  There’s this bald baka in the class claiming to be evil, keeps sucking on his pinkie and smirking.  That’s evil?  My son is more evil then that guy!  Well… he would be had that woman not corrupted him! That and hanging out with that mini Kakkoratt can’t be good for him.  Might kill off a few brain cells, if he’s anything like his father.

All I want is to be stronger then Kakkoratt! And Good training equipment, an evil son… A woman that can cook… A lifelong supply of cheese doodles and a happy days marathon…

#$%#@@#$%^ NO I DON’T WANT TO TAKE OUT THE @#%#@!@# TRASH!!!

…. What do you mean sleep on the couch?…

This is MY HOUSE!!! The Prince of Saiyans does not sleep on…

Alright! But I’m taking that Baka Yamcha out with it!

Yeah… I have to stop now, I have… Princely duties to carry out.

The Prince of All Saiyans,

Strongest in the Universe,

Vegeta. 

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Week 2

Book… and Baka Onna.

I should have known you would keep that stupid promise about reading this thing… You’re positively evil, almost as evil as I am, yet… not quite.  How was I to know throwing that baka out with the trash would be a problem?  He’s just a good-for-nothing freeloader, anyways.  I’m just glad that little white thing doesn’t insist on living here as well.  *Smirks* Perhaps I could talk him into blowing himself up again. 

It’s times like these I remember that that dumb@sss Nappa was good for something after all.  Not much, though.  I guess that idiot Kakkoratt does just as well. 

I went to another “Counseling” class again.  They want me to bring the brat in with me, they think that I beat him.  Well of course I beat him! He’s no match for the prince of the Saiyans yet!  Baka humans, how else can I train my brat?  He is getting strong for his age, though.  Much stronger then I was.

He had better be stronger than that brat he hangs out with!  Imagine, the son of the Prince of Saiyans hanging out with a third class brat like that… And… having purple hair…

I tried to dye it black yesterday, it’s not befitting for a saiyan to have a girls hair!  I would have done it too, had the stupid Onna not caught me.  Now I’m going to be sleeping outside for the next week.  Baka Onna…

Now… how to kill that idiot bald man without the woman finding out… Oh… HFIL, I forgot she’ll be reading this.

D@mn.

The Prince of all Saiyans,

Strongest in the Universe,

And head of the Fonzi Lovers Anonymous,

Vegeta

WHO WROTE THAT????? BUUULLLLMMMMMAAAA!!!!!! THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SECRET!!!

 

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Week 3

Book…

Ano… I took the brat to counseling with me today… The Onna read last week’s update and thought it was a good idea. It’s not like she doesn’t drive the brat to drink herself… all that screaming about hunting her father’s dinosaur. Unbelievable! How else is the child of the prince of the saiyans supposed to learn how to hunt?  **Smirks**  Next week we go after that stupid cat that the old man’s so fond of.

I suppose the session went rather well, Trunks ended up beating the bald man’s son to the point of tears.  Some disagreement of whose father was more evil.  Of course the little brat would win, I wasn’t quite sure the other would survive though… It seems they no longer question my beating him, the leader mumbled something about needing a little ‘Reinforcement when the child is evil incarnate.’ I wish…

Speaking of that strange bastage, I shudder at the very sight of the leader of the hfil hour.  He keeps telling me to call him Stewart… Then he tells me to just call him.  Now really, does the weakling wish to fight me?  He even gave me directions to his house!  I should show up some time late at night and blow him off the face of this dinky little planet.  And if he tries one more time to touch my… **Blushes** Well, we’ll have a little conversation outside if you know what I mean.

I told the Onna about the punk and all she did was smile and tell me it was because I was hot.  Well of course I’m hot, but what does that have to do with anything?

Prince of All Saiyans,

Strongest in the Universe,

And a million times smarter then Kakkoratt

Vegeta

(Of course… algae is smarter then Goku…)

ONNA! IF YOU WANT ME TO WRITE IN THIS D@MN THING KEEP YOUR COMMENTS TO YOURSELF!

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Week 4

Book.

I’d rather not talk right now, but the onna is reading over my shoulder with that ridiculous dog grooming device she seems so fond of.  I ended up being kicked out of today’s counseling session, though it wasn’t my fault.  How was I to know that the coke machine would be out of sprite?  I even took the time to put these weakling human’s money in the d@mn thing and it still refused to give me what I want!

What does a saiyan have to go through to get a #$%#$ sprite!!  *Smirks* I final flashed that bastard coke machine to HFIL.  Hey!  Wha’d you hit me for? Onna No Baka.  Like you’re any better with your diet coke!  At least I got to see the look on that bald moron’s face.  He looked like he had (CENSORED) his pants! MWAHAHAHAAA!

The brat keeps wanting to go back to counseling with me, says that he finds all those fruity bastages entertaining.  Maybe he’s just scared of being left at home with the onna.  I would be fright-

**Typing is cut short at the sounds of Bulma screaming and Vegeta laughing evilly, then it begins again, sans blue haired chick.*

There, that should take care of her. **Cuts to image of Bulma perched on the roof of the CC building gripping at weather vein, mumbling about short men and their emotional problems, starting with Napoleon and working to Vegeta.**  Now I’ll have to stop now before the baka decides she can fly.

Prince Of the Saiyans

Strongest in the Universe

Staunch supporter of Sprite Addiction

Vegeta

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Week 5

Why is it that all humans are generally bakas?  I was walking to my counseling session, under much duress, when this strange looking man comes up to me asking for my autograph. Well, yes, I AM the prince of the Saiyans and should be worshipped accordingly, but why on earth would they want me to sign their T-shirt?  I stared at him until he pissed his pants and ran away screaming for his mommy.  Sometimes I really enjoy having villain eyes.  It also keeps the brat from giving me a hard time at bedtime.

Wait… That is, not that I have anything to do with when that brat goes to bed!  That is completely in the Onna’s hands.  I don’t even care if the child sleeps or not!  Just as long as I don’t have to read that stupid fairy tale more then once- **Cough**

I have learned from that strange bald man that there are some benefits to the American music.  I only had to threaten that small rabid creature that follows him around in order to uhh… “Borrow” the CD player he was singing along with.  If one could call that singing.  Sounded more like the caterwauling the Onna does in the shower, bad enough to make the confiscation even more pleasurable then usual.

This singer named Jimi something… rather appeals to me.  The words make no sense, but the voice is decent and in any case it’s better then the crap the blue haired shrew listens to.  Perhaps I shall learn to play this strange human toy called the guitar.

Prince of the Saiyans

Strongest in the top ten lists,

Vegeta

(Ano… are you through talking about yourself?  Man what an ego!)

Bah, Onna you should listen to yourself before accusing me. NOW STOP WRITING IN MY JOURNAL!

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Week 6

Last week the Onna gave me off, due to some obscure celebration Americans follow.  Why that works, I don’t know, nor care.  At least I didn’t have to deal with this stupid book.  Until now.  Well, Somehow our baka counselor leader was… disposed of.

We now have a new fruitcake teaching us.  Wears a stupid cape like Gohan does, and never opens his eyes.

What really irritates me is the fact he never seems to give a straight answer.  Always “Sore wa himitsu desu!” With that stupid little smile of his.  He’s another one I’ll have to dis-er… Not that I had anything to do with the first guy!  No that was all the bald man’s doing!

I have another problem, this one not even related to the blue haired shrew! How often does that happen?  The brat wants to change his name to James, one of his favorite characters from that baka show pocket-something. He goes around the house waving a stupid flower in the air while shouting some kami-d@mned rhyme.

It’s not nearly as bad as the mini-kakkarott.  Bulma had to talk him out of wearing a mini skirt.  Said he was supposed to be Jesse, or some chick.  At least this time it isn’t my brat that’s the crossdresser.

I think I’ve written enough to make that evil woman happy.

Prince of the Saiyans,

Strongest in the universe,

MASTER OF THE GALAXY!!

*Cough*

Vegeta

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Week 7

Hmph….  I almost got out of this stupid exercise… Stupid Onna no Baka… Well, to start off with, this new leader man is starting to get on my nerves.  And the fact that they combined the multiple personalities and the Anger Management classes together we have a brand new set of bakas in the class, including Kakkarott, that clown creature, and this red-head with a scar on his face, doesn’t help. 

The baka has that little problem with his Kakkarott side at the moment, his wife says so at least.  Personally I think he doesn’t have enough brains to have mental problems, but no one ever listens to my opinions.  Just because the moron lost his temper once over her taking his food away doesn’t mean he’s a worthy saiyan!  Are all human females this… utterly clueless?

Had the onna tried to take away MY food she would have been final flashed! Oh… Right, blue headed shrew reads this. D@mn.

The clown says that he’s secretly addicted to women.  Seems that on his off time from fighting he’s a pimp.  Who would’ve guessed?  And here I thought… Well, never mind what I thought.  It’s too horrifying to think of, anyways.

The red head though, he makes me wonder, no… not the same way the clown used to, seems he used to be a big time fighter among the humans.  Not that that means much to me, but he has a decent amount of Ki for their type. 

Seems he’s in love with a non cooking violent type as well.  All he ever talks about is how his “Kaoru-Dono” is the best thing since sliced bread.  He’s gonna end up in the same boat I am, a kid, a shrew and stuck on this back water planet.  *Stops* Not that that’s a bad thing, right honey?

**Chokes**

Alright, I can’t stand it anymore. I WILL WRITE NO MORE IN THIS STUPID JOURNAL!!

For this week at least… You can put the dog groomer away woman, I’ve done your dirty work!! **Makes sign of cross with finger** BACK!! BACK I SAY!!!

Strongest in the universe,

Yadda yadda yadda,

You get the picture.

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Week 8

D@mmit.  I thought I had gotten rid of this stupid book!  I took it out to the place I first fought Kakkarott and Ki blasted it to HFIL! I swear I did!

……

It’s that Onna again.  She’s making copies of this book!  I wouldn’t be surprised if she copies it weekly, probably has a good dozen backups stashed somewhere, to blackmail me when the brat gets older.  The son of the Prince of Saiyans knowing that his mother forces his father to deal with lunatics!  And I’m not just talking Kakkarott!

*Eye twitches*  I’m really getting tired of this self-help bull**Censored**  I will help myself to whatever I want, not others helping me to get in touch with my ‘feminine side.’  I’d like to get in touch with my primitive side first, maybe then I’d get my tail back.

Anyways… I went to this big ‘Party’ for the psychos.  It was free food so Bulma didn’t have to talk me into it.  Plus I was interested in what a drunk Kakkarott would look like.  It was rather entertaining seeing him standing on the table with a lamp shade over his head while singing a song about getting knocked down.

But he was nowhere near as entertaining as the little white creature.  He was standing in the corner throwing out pick-up lines to a potted plant.  Last I heard the two were going steady.  I always wondered if it was something more then just birth that stunted his growth and made him so pale.

The red head was happily serving drinks, once again talking about Kaoru-Dono.  I went up to him, trying to explain how he was about to ruin his life, but I guess I had a few too many drinks and all I remember is hitting the floor right as I was about to reach him.

Thank Kami that the Stewart guy is no longer leading the group.  At least this time I woke up with my clothing all the way on!  Note to self, never get drunk around ‘Normal’ people, they’re a little too strange for my taste.

Strongest in the Universe

Could kick Superman’s @ss

Hottest saiyan on this planet!

Vegeta

Ano… I don’t know, Son’s always been pretty hot.

Onna… I swear, one more comparison and You’ll be the one sleeping with your precious Dino! Unless I eat it first.

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Week 9

That… bald man… **Eye twitches slightly**  Has RUINED MY WEEK!!  I had the perfect week planned, I was going to train half of the day then enjoy a week long Happy Days marathon the other half.  It was going to last ALL week long! But… He… the bastard, he… threatened to destroy the world if he had to watch another hour of Happy Days.

He will pay for ruining this week.  Oh yes, he will pay.

The brat tried to make it up to me though, he slicked back his hair with my ultra cement hair spray and walked around giving two thumbs up and calling out “Ayyyyy.”  It just wasn’t the same though… Fonzi doesn’t have purple hair.  It’s better then the pokemon phase though, as long as I never have to hear that stupid rhyme again I will be happy. No, no I won’t… That bald man took my happiness away.

I’ll just have to make my own visit to the Xtv station.  Maybe kill that purple monster thing the kids are so fond of to show my seriousness.  It’s been a while since I had a good barbeque.  Onna can’t cook worth a d@mn.

You heard me!! You can’t cook!! **BANG!! Sounds of numerous metal objects hitting him in the head**  As you might have guessed she’s reading over my shoulder. Shrew, non-cooking pain in the @ss, blue haired screaming wench… **BANG BANG BANG!! (See above note)*

Anyways, **Shot of Bulma once again stuck on the roof making fun of Vegeta’s height** Trunks got Kakkarotto no Chibi involved in his scheme, so for a while we had two miniature Fonzi’s running around.  The only thing was Kakkoratto’s brat always said “Maaayy.” I have no idea where he got that one from… If Kakkoratto wasn’t from a different planet I would worry about inbreeding.

Strongest in the Galaxy

Hottest Saiyan ALIVE!!

Prince of the Saiyans,

Vegeta

**AN: I do NOT feel that way about Goten, he’s too kawaii! But try telling that to Veggie.**

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Week 10

Grrr… He got away! The bald man ran away in this ship that looked like… well, anyways, it was below me to chase him down, he isn’t worth my time. And after I made that visit to the TV station there’s been Happy Days at least three times a day, four on weekends.  The added benefit is that I won’t have to listen to that stupid dino any more. **Insert evil laugh**

I suppose having a leader that says only inanities and “Sore wa himitsu desu” is bad enough, but today he brought in a ‘helper.’

“Class, I’d like you to meet Filia-san! She’s an excellent example of Anger Management gone wrong!”  I must admit the blonde woman wielded that metal club thing as well as Kakkoratto’s mate wields a frying pan. The only problem was that Kakoratto saw a tail and tried to look up her skirt.  I would almost have sworn she was used to that reaction, yet I doubt there’s any one as stupid as him.

 It was rather entertaining for a while though, watching the two racing around the room.  But it makes me wonder how serious about his job this fruity bastard is.  I almost get the feeling he enjoys our anger.  And I thought I was sick.

The Onna started videotaping me as I write, so every time I start to smirk she comes in here and tries to read over my shoulder.  After I blew up the first camera she set up the brat with his own, telling him that watching his “Papa” would be fun. Bah, the brat’s over there making faces out the window at Kakkoratto’s Chibi-me.

I guess she thinks I won’t blow up something held by my son.  Hah, I have enough control to avoid the brat! **BOOM!**

That takes care of one problem, but while I’m at it…

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