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 Green Wing is possibly THE most random programme ever. It's a hospital comedy and centre's around one doctor in particular Caroline Todd. Series one starts with her first day at Hamstead hospital where she meets the most unusual bunch of work mates you could possibly wish for. She makes friends, enemies, finds love, ends up getting drunk and kissing four different people and all in all having a very eventful first few weeks. So here's a low down of those main character's around the hospital.

DR. CAROLINE TODD

On her first day she couldn't get into her brothers house because the neighbours who were looking after the keys for her weren't in. When she arrived at the hospital eventually she spent the morning getting her crdentials sorted out and then it was straight into surgery. She's friendly, kind, but very self concious and because of this usually ends up making a fool of herself, which simply makes Mac and Guy (her two closest friends) love her even more. Tamsin Greig who plays Caroline was in Doctor Who, series one, with Christopher Eccleston. She didn't have a very big part, she played the nurse in episode seven 'The Long Game', she's the one who puts the 'hole' in stupid Adam Mitchell's head.

DR. 'MAC' MACARTNEY AND DR. GULLAUME VALERIE SECRETAN (GUY)

It's almost impossible to find these two apart. Mac and Guy are best mates despite the apparent 'hate' for each other. They have many things in common the most noticable one is Caroline. Both end up falling in love with her and Caroline has had a hard time trying to figure out which one she loves. Mac's first name is a mystery as he has always introduced himself as Mac (derived from Macartney in case you didn't guess) but Holly 'The Baby Killer' always used to call him Paul (as a joke, because of Paul Macartney the Beatle member). Guy shortens his swiss name simply because people would keep miss pronouncing it. His middle name is revealed when Martin 'accidentily' tells Boyce. The pair are witty, sarcastic and Mac spends his time winding up Alan Statham whilst Guy makes vulgar comments trying to win Caroline over. (He gets better in series two when he falls in love with her, he starts being all sweet and squee!). Guy is also obessed with Gui-ball (I think that's how it's spelt, and it's pronounced gee-ball, but obviously because Guy plays it many of the doctors make Guy-ball references) and the pair of them love playing 'The Spoon Of Destiny'. I should also mention now that four years previous to Caroline's first day Mac split up with Holly 'The Baby Killer' so named because after spending six years with Mac she had an abortion when she found out she was pregnant without even consulting Mac first. They split and now Mac gets annoyed whenever she's mentioned or in the case of series two, turns up.

DR. MARTIN DEAR

Martin is Guy's half brother, (they're mother is Joanna Clore who also works at the hospital, though neither know they're brothers until the end of series one and MArtin then has to race to stop Guy from having sex with Joanna. Unfortunatly he's too late, resulting in Guy driving off a cliff in an ambulance which also contains Mac and Martin. Luckily all three survive as the ambulance is stopped before it plummates to the bottom of the cliff), he's sweet, niave, and all round nice. He's the complete opposite of Guy, totally hopeless with women when it comes to wooing, but not nearly as much of ahem... w@nker as Guy. Martin does eventually get a girlfriend in the shape of Karen, one of the office girls, but it doesn't work out. He remains good friends with Caroline, Mac, Boyce and Guy throughout both series and also has several run ins with Sue White, but they're full of misunderstandings.

DR. ALAN STATHAM

A stutterer, he's quite vulgar and for the first half of series one is in a relationship with Joanna Clore. He is probably one of the funniest characters in Green Wing and his stuttering when he gets mad is very funny. After Joanna dumps him he spends the rest of his time trying to get her back and in series two the pair of them spend their time playing pranks on each other which ends in them both becoming paranoid and running from the law all because of a green dwarf and a herron. Told ya Green Wing was random. 

JOANNA CLORE

Joanna too is quite vulgar, has a relationship with Alan, has sex with her son (though she didn't know at the time), and is always being wound up by the girls in her office who she despises, but we all know secretly she wants to be friends, even if she won't admit it to herself. She fancies Lynodon (who's played by the guy who did Roderick in Doctor Who) and buys him in the slave auction the hospital has for charity to try and start something with him. But Lyndon finds her tedious, desperate, and frankly scary. Too right.

BOYCE

Boyce is one of Alan's students intent on becoming a doctor. However Boyce spends more time winding Alan up than actually learning so there is some question as to how exactly he managed to pass his exams, although Martin is proof that sometimes studying doesn't help (he failed. Twice). Boyce is sweet, witty and friends with Mac, Guy, Caroline, Angela and Martin. He goes out with Kim halfway through series one after they end up meeting each other at Caroline's housewarming party.

SUE WHITE

The most random character in Green Wing and possibly the maddest. She's obsessed with Mac, totally in love, and even tries (and fails) to murder Caroline when she confesses that she's fallen for the fraise-blonde doctor. During series one she spends all the time flirting and making Mac very uncomfortable but during series two we get to see a better side of Sue when she uncovers a plot by Holly 'The Baby Killer' and allows Mac and Caroline to try and repair a shattered relationship. But as we all know T.V. is about s fair as real life and Mac and Caroline are still teetering on the edge of the divide.

KIM ALABASTER

Kim goes out with Boyce half way through series one of Green Wing when they meet at Caroline's housewarming party. They have a very well known love life and are always laughing together. Kim is probably the nicest and down to earth of the office girls and enjoys winding up Joanna and chatting with 'Naughty' Rachael.

'NAUGHTY' RACHAEL

Rachael spends most of her time weighing her breasts to see how much it would cost to send them to various countries. Whne she's not doing this she's tourmenting Karen, having a laugh with the office girls over Joanna or smoking with Boyce.

KAREN BALL

(Karen is the one on the furthest right, you don't know how unbelievably hard it is to get a picture of her on her own.) She is quite small and timid, has very srpingy hair and a 'furry' face. She falls head over heals in love with Martin and takes the whole of series one to pluck up the courage to ask him out. (Although Martin asks HER in the end). This lasts for a while until Martin (who become's scared by her neediness) dumps her during series two. Martin never really got over Caroline and when she starts arguing with Mac and Guy, Martin thinks he may have a chance with her. Karen is always being taken advantage of by the other office girls and eventually snaps.

HARRIET SCHULENBERG

Harriet is the ditzy Mum of the office girls. With three chaotic boys and another on the way Harriet often finds herself coming into work at the 'wrong nine o' clock', leaving Robbie at school all night, forgetting to take the boys to school before she comes to work, finding fuzzy felt animals on her cardigan and mash potato in her handbag. But you've gotta love her sweet niavety at the end of the day, although she does still annoy Joanna and as she (un)knidly puts it I can't think of a single reason why anyone wouldn't want to kill her'. Joanna is just jealous though because sexy man Lyndon wouldn't touch her with a barge pole but he does have an affair with Harriet duing series two. Harriet ends the affair though when she can no longer stand lying to her husband and she fears if they break up their boys ill suffer.

ANGELA HUNTER

Angela is a little too self assured about her good looks. She's confidant, never gets jealous ('It's an ugly emotion and only for the weak') and annoys Caroline a lot. Being perfect Angela causes Caroline to doubt herself more and more despite winning the love of three men at Hamstead Hospital. Angela nd Caroline share a house for the most part of series one and part of series two until Angela leaves to persue an acting career. She is hyper-competitive and can't help rubing it in when Caroline's bum score's four on Guy's chart and hers scores eight.

LYNDON JONES

Lyndon is sexy and loved by women and men alike. Joanna is infatuated and wants to bed him but as much as she tries Lyndon keeps away being repeatedly freaked out by the scary 48 year old. He has an affair with Harriet during series two but when this breaks up Joanna start chasing him again. In the end the only way he can get rid of her for good is by pretending he's gay and he even goes as far as kissing Jake (this guy Caroline dates for a few episodes). Despite Joanna's look of disgust and dissapointement neither Lyndon nor Jake looked like they hated the kiss.