My weekends are lonely with out Ma. I handle the other five days fairly well. Then Saturday afternoon comes. I use to call my mom after work almost every Saturday and Sunday. Oh yah I would call her other days too, but all most every Saturday and Sunday. It,s funny when you think of it. We would talk for hours. My poor father, I know he hated it when I would call.I know that when he would answer the phone and heard my voice he said, "That is it . I might just as well go to bed, there goes the TV.' I would say to my dad, " What are you doinng? Where's my Mutter." I can here him now. " Ma, Peg's on the phone. '' He new he was done for at least an hour or so.
The memories are playing in my mind over and over. At first I use to come home Saturday after work and turn on the TV to see what movie was on Lifetime to find out what was on. I would think of how my mom would like this movie or if it was one that we already watched together alone. Let me explain the together alone thing. My mom and I have not spent much time together physcaliy in years. We didn,t live close to each other, but we were as close mentaly as you could possible could be. So when I say we watched our movies together we were on the phone. Her in New York and me here in Pa. And We watched a lot of movies. We laughed and we cried. So when I first lost my mom I spent alot of the time crying. I miss her so very much, but at least I don,t call her number as soon as I come from work on Saturdays and Sundays anymore. I use to listen to the answer machine, I could her her pick up the phone all out of breath saying," I'm here. I'm here I was hanging up cloths. I'm here." See I use to talk to the Machine to give her time to get to the phone because I knew she was home. I took that thought forgranted, that she would always be there. For I never thought I would ever call and she would not be. That was my mistake.