Broken Girl

*disclaimer: the version of Miss Mary Mack is from White is for Magic

I once believed that life was a gift, that you should cherish and adore it. Also that everything was beautiful (minus school) and that you should appreciate that. It was only recently that my views on this matter changed because I suddenly saw all the cruelties in life. Like, I was walking down a tree lined street, when I saw a cute fluffy little bunny rabbit. Then a black hawk came swooping down from the brilliant blue sky and tore the little bunny into a million bloody pieces. But that wasn't what I saw that changed my mind. That is what I saw on my way back from the wall that confirmed my new belief.

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I walked down the gray sidewalk, looking at the greenish brown weeds sprouting in the cracks. Then I heard a song with a familiar tune. "Miss Mary Mack, Mack, Mack, all dressed in black, black, black. She has a knife, knife, knife, stuck in her back, back, back. She cannot breathe, breathe, breathe. She cannot cry, cry, cry. Thats why she begs, begs, begs. She begs to die, die, die." I loved it! It was way better than the original! I looked in the direction of where the song was coming from, and saw three girls jumping rope.

I wanted to run over and ask them where they had come up with such an endearing song, but I couldn't. The reasoning simply eluded me. I don't know if my body was under my control or not, but no matter how hard I tried to go over and talk to them, I couldn't.

So I gave up and continued walking along the cracked sidewalk. Then I reached the end of the sidewalk. Seriously. It just stopped. And, a couple inches away, was this huge cement wall. I suddenly felt the need to go over the wall. I took a step closer...

Beep. Beep. Beep. "Stupid alarm!" I screamed as I threw my alarm clock across the room.
"Maia, you better not have broken another alarm clock!" my mother called up to me from the kitchen.
"Crap!" I whispered as I examined my alarm clock.
All of its insides were hanging out. Man, I am so dead!

Finally I woke up enough to put on some clothes. I chose to wear my knee-high Cheshire Cat socks, my spider skirt, and its matching corset. The socks didn't exactly match the rest of my outfit, but it partially matched my purple and black hair, which I ended up leaving down.

When I walked down the stairs, the first thing I heard was, "Are you really going to school like that?"
"No, dont be silly!"
"Then why did you put it on?"
"Because I'm going to school like this!" I said as I threw on my black cloak.
My darling mother rolled her eyes. "Don't get detention today!"
"Why not?"
"Because I'm sick of it! They always call me when you do something wrong!"
"Whatever! It's not like its my fault!"
For some unknown reason, my mother had tethered herself to the idea of having a perfect daughter.

School. What a tedious, miserable place to be sentenced to. "Hey! Mai! Hows it going?"
"Everything is just peachy, Michael! Peachy I tell you!"
"What happened now?"
"I can't get detention because my mother is sick of all the calls she gets about it!"
"You're kidding!"
"This day is going to be the day of my demise!"
"Well, just be a good girl, and don't get into trouble!"
"Screw you!"
"Ooo, someones in a pissy mood!"
"Yeah it would be me!"
"Chill, Mai, I was just kidding!"
"Whatever, I'll see you at lunch."
Then I walked off to my first class, history.

I slept through history, and no one noticed. It was probably because I had no friends in that class, and because the teacher was so in his own little world that he never noticed anything. But, I had never failed this class, because Michael had always given me all the answers with his mental powers during the tests. He knew all there was to know, because he was a vampire, and I just wanted to graduate high school so I could head off to Art school. The only problem with that was the fact that my mother refused to pay for it, so I would have to come up with a way of doing it on my own.

During math, I gave a small fraction of my attention to the teacher. Just enough to know what was going on around me, and to understand the concepts that he was teaching. But, while all of this was going on, I was sketching under the table. By the time math was over, and it was time for lunch, I had a halfway finished sketch of a vampire at a girls throat.

I never ate lunch. It was simply disgusting. So, as Michael and I sat alone at our small circular table designed for six, I finished my sketch. "Still refusing to eat school lunch?" Michael asked as he took a huge bite of his grease dripping cheese pizza.
"I don't understand how you can eat that load of crap," I replied.
"It tastes just like normal pizza."
"Remember, I don't eat pizza!"
"Oh yeah! You hate things covered in grease, except hamburgers. Which is completely asinine!"
"Maybe so, but I still wouldn't be paid to eat the school's garbage!"
"Your loss."
"It's not really a loss, my friend."
Michael suddenly got a closed look on his face. He put down his pizza and put his hands in his lap. He didnt say another word for the rest of lunch, and he didnt take another bit of his drowning pizza.

During my next class, English, I pondered Michael's behavior during lunch. Did I say something wrong? Was I being evil? Should I talk to him about it? I decided that I would talk to him about it. That was probably the best thing to do, otherwise I would come to the wrong conclusions and blame myself for something that might not even be true.

So, after English, in art, my final class of the day, and my only class with Michael, I brought the subject up. "Hey, Michael, what was up at lunch?" I asked as I began mixing red and blue to make purple for my sky painting.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"Well, after our riveting conversation on school lunches and my eating habits, you kinda closed yourself off from me. You didn't even finish your pizza. Did I say something wrong?"

"It was nothing."
"No, it was something!"
"You'd laugh at me."
"You'll never know until you tell me."
"No."
"Fine. I'll tell you about my latest dream!"
"This ought to be good!" he laughed.


"Okay, so I was walking along this sidewalk, it was just a boring old sidewalk, and there were these little girls singing a demented version of Miss Mary Mack."
"Wait, what do you mean, 'demented version of Miss Mary Mack'?"
"Would you like me to sing it for you?"
"Yeah."
"Ok, it was like, Miss Mary Mack, Mack, Mack, all dressed in black, black, black. She has a knife, knife, knife, stuck in her back, back, back. She cannot breathe, breathe, breathe. She cannot cry, cry, cry. Thats why she begs, begs, begs. She begs to die, die, die."
"Dude, youre kidding! That is so awesome!"
"Isn't it though? Anyways, I kept walking down this sidewalk, and I seriously reached the end. There was this huge cement wall and everything!"
"Are you serious?"
"Of course I am! Do I ever lie about my dreams?"
"No, but that's actually a real place!"
"Really? I so want to go there!"
"Alright! I'll take you this weekend!"
"Awesome! Can we leave tonight?"
"But tonight is only Wednesday!"
"Who cares?"
"Alright, I'll pick you up at 11."
"Sweet! I'll be ready!"

When I got home from school, my mother started in on me. "Why is your room a mess? I told you to clean it yesterday! And I told you not to break another alarm clock! Thats the second one this week!"
"Mom! Shut up already! I get the point! I'll buy a new clock tonight! And I can clean my room whenever I want to! It's not like you ever have to go in there!"
"Dont you mouth off to me!"
"Go away and leave me alone!" I screamed, running up the stairs to my black room.

Once I was safely tucked away in the darkest corner, I called Michael. It rang three times, and then he finally picked up. "Are we still on?" I asked.
"Of course! Do you really think I would just give up our mission? Besides, I get to miss school for once!" he replied.
"Do you think you could come earlier?"
"When?"
"As soon as possible!"
"How about nine?"
"Great! See you!"
Then I hung up and packed a small backpack.

All I packed was my headphones and my sketching supplies. I didn't want to get bored. Although, now that I think about it, I don't get bored very often. Oh well, at least I was missing school.

Michael showed up at 9 and threw a rock at my window. I quickly unraveled myself from the three blankets I had somehow managed to tangle myself in and ran to the window. I pulled it open, and climbed out onto the tree right next to it. As soon as I reached the ground, Michael started walking, and I followed along like a baby duck following its mother.

As we walked along in silence, the tension grew. Walking along at night, hearing our footsteps echo off the pavement wasn't helping our nerves any. Finally, I couldn't take it any longer, so I said the first thing that came to my mind, "Have you ever tried to eat a bumble bee?"
"What?"
"I dont know. I just said the first thing that came into my head."
"Wow. I really do not want to know why you are thinking about eating bumble bees."
"You're going to find out anyways! I was thinking about how people are always so afraid of getting stung by them, and then I was like, Dude! What if somebody ate a bumble bee!"
"You're weirder than I thought!"
"I could get weirder if you wanted."
"No thanks! I choose life!"
"I wouldn't eat you!"
He just looked at me kinda funny, a sort of "see what I mean?" look.

We walked in an uncomfortable silence for quite some time after that. Neither of us could think of anything to say to the other. "Have you ever been to the wall before?" I finally asked.
"Actually, yeah, once. It was when I was still mortal. I never got over it, but I tried," Michael answered.
"Is it possible to get over?"
"Yes. You just have to know how and have the right tools to do it."
"But we didn't bring any tools with us!"
"Yeah, but Im here!"
"How does that make up for not bringing tools?"
"I'm a vampire. I can do a lot of things humans can't."
"Yeah, but I'm human."
"I can change that."
"Michael! We've been over this before! I don't want to be a vampire! I don't want to live forever! I just want to live my mortal life!"
"I'm sorry. But we still won't have need for any tools because I can just carry you with me."
Then we were back to walking in silence, listening to our feet hit the sidewalk.

By the time we finally reached the wall, the sun was turning the sky a disturbing shade of gray, blue, and red combined. "Do you want to go over the wall now, or wait until you've gotten some sleep?" Michael asked.
"If I go to sleep, and you have to wake me, there would be hell to pay! Might as well just go over the wall. Besides, I'm not tired."
"Alright, here we go."

Then he wrapped his arms around my waist and jumped. It was the scariest thing ever! The tree tops rushing past you, and then finally landing on something more than fifty feet in the air. And then Michael let go of me, and he was like the only thing keeping me standing, but, I somehow managed to stay up. We gazed out over the landscape set before us. It looked like a very charming old time village. There were quaint wooden cottages dotting a field by a slowly trickling stream.

Michael grabbed a hold of me again and jumped down from the wall. This was way scarier than going up. The ground rushed up to meet us, and appeared disappointed when we didn't slam into it and die. Michael let go of me again and let me adjust. Then I grabbed his hand and dragged him over to the houses. "Do you know what you are doing?" he asked.
"Not a clue! I just want to know who lives here and why they live like people did a million years ago, when there is so much technology on the other side of the wall."

Then I really began my pondering. They were actually quite lucky. No TV boiling their brains, and no computers threatening to take over the world. Oh well, I still wanted to know who lived here.

I walked up to the nearest house, and knocked on the beautifully white painted front door. An old lady with a kind face opened the door. "May I help you?"
"Yes, we just got here, and I was just wondering who lived here," I replied.
"Oh my! You must be starving! Come, join us for breakfast! Myra has just gone out to shoot him."
"That would be wonderful! Thank you so much!"

As we walked in, Michael whispered in my ear, "Why did she say 'shoot him'?"
"I dont know. Perhaps they are really fond of their chickens?" I whispered back.
"You two can sit here," the lady said, pointing to two chairs facing a window.
As I sat down, I glanced out the window and saw a young girl with a rifle aiming at a boy who looked 8. Then she pulled the trigger and the boy fell to the ground. "Breakfast is almost ready!" the girl shouted.
I screamed. Michael looked out the window, and saw what I saw. He quickly grabbed me and ran all the way to the wall, and jumped over.

I didn't stop screaming until we were safely on the other side and Michael was trying to calm me down. "How...how could they?" I asked in dismay.
"I don't know. Let's just get home."

As we were walking down the tree lined street, I noticed a really adorable fluffy bunny rabbit. Maybe things are only evil on that side of the wall. I thought to myself. The thought comforted me greatly. But then, a black hawk swooped down from the brilliantly blue sky and tore the little bunny into a million bloody pieces. I closed my eyes, trying to keep myself from the reality of the world. How could it be so cruel? I now really regretted ever setting out on our little expedition. Why did we have to go there? It hadn't been vital or anything. The only thing it had accomplished was ruining my outlook on life.