ODDS & ENDS
The HORROR FICTION REVIEW's Guide to Magazines, Websites, Films, and other things that Didn't Fit in the Book Review Section!
OCTOBER 2009's ODDS & ENDS
AUGUST 2009's ODDS & ENDS
THE POSSESSOR (1975---a.k.a. NAKED EXORCISM (UK title), THE RETURN OF THE EXORCIST, THE EXORCIST III: CRIES AND SHADOWS, UN URLO NELLE TENEBRE (Italian title) I don't know which is scarier---the horribly overdubbed possession scenes, the horrendous, generic-disco soundtrack during the club segments, or the opening black mass sequence (so cheezy it makes Ernset Borgnine's drippy finale in THE DEVIL'S RAIN look commendable), but suffice it to say, THE POSSESSOR is easily one of the greatest Exorcist rip-offs of all time. Released in the early 80s by Wizard Video, this euro-schlocker has yet to be released on DVD (to the best of my knowledge) so you'll have to grab a VHS copy from ebay (if you can) or a DVR from several online "hard-to-find" horror film companies. A young man becomes possessed by a female demon known as "Haggia," a horny little creature who likes to cause nuns (and seemingly every other female on the cast) to have lesbian sex and her host to puke blood on crucifixes. A non-stop black mass orgy goes on throughout the entire film. Piero (our young possessed man, played by Euro-heart-throb Jean-Claude Verne') begins to show all the classic Linda Blair-type signs of demonic attack, and is able to appear as a human form of Haggia in other people's visions (at least that's what I can make out of some scenes). Pointless shots of robed monks and a nun wandering around add the filler. A bald-headed nun attempts to help Piero before requesting the help of a professional Exorcist (played by the mind-numbingly lifeless Richard Conte). On his walk over to battle the demon, we hear him thinking things the writers must've copied from a 1950s catechism booklet. During the exorcism, you have to wonder how serious the screewriters were taking this when the demon says to the priest, "I'll never bow to your mumbo jumbo!" Unless, of course, this was the work of the English translators. Dumb, goofy, ugly, campy...everything you'd want in an Exorcist rip-off (and more). Add a plus for one of the GREATEST rip-off trailers ever (which is included at the end of this tape). A wonderful slice of so-bad-it's-good 70s horror.
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AND IN THE CATCHING UP ON MAGAZINES DEPARTMENT: I finally read my first issue of SHROUD (this being their 6th issue), and was impressed with the heavy, 152-paged size. This is their 1-Year Anniversary issue, and is LOADED with fiction (some of the more memorable tales come from Bev Vincent, Jeff Strand, Rick Hautala, L.L. Soares, M. Keaton and Daniel G. Koehane). There's some decent book reviews and non-fiction, plus a killer cover by Steven Gilberts. More info @ http://www.shroudmagazine.com/. If you're a Twilight Zone fan, you don't want to miss the 14th issue of James Beach's DARK DISCOVERIES, which includes fiction (and teleplays) by William Nolan, Richard Matheson, and Earl Hamner, Jr. Christopher Conlon does an interesting look at some of the Twilight Zone's unseen episodes, and as always Bill Gauthier's column rocks the house. You can tell lots of love went into creating this issue. I have to admit, though, that I like the old cover design better. Check out http://www.darkdiscoveries.com/ to order. After missing a few issues, I finally received a new CEMETERY DANCE (http://www.cemeterydance.com/) which features the start of a 3-part novella from Douglas Clegg titled "The Innocents at the Museum of Antiquities," which is off to a real good start. The entire issue is dedicated to Peter Straub, and includes an excerpt from his new novel, A DARK MATTER, as well as a new short story (inspired by the title of a Senfeld episode!) as well as a very informative interview. There's lots of great non-fiction, including a new column from Leisure Books' Don D'Auria, Ellen Datlow, Ed Gorman, and of course Thomas Monteleone. Some of the book reviews are a bit dated, and for the first time (that I can recall) none are negative. Alan M. Clark provides the eye-catching cover art. Lastly, I savored every single page of the 12th issue of the UK's BLACK STATIC, which contains an interview with Gary A. Braunbeck, killer fiction from Steve Rasnic Tem, T.F. Davenport, and my favorite of the issue, 'Stone Whispers" by Tim Casson. There's plenty of non-fiction, the best being the ultra-informative DVD reviews. This is easily the best horror fiction magazine on the market today, so make sure to check it out at http://www.ttapress.com/.
MAY 2009's ODDS & ENDS
It's been a few months since we updated this section, so here 'goes...
BLACK STATIC (Issue # 9 / visit ttapress.com for ordering info). Each issue of this top-notch horror fiction magazine continues to impress me, and this time it's the book and movie reviews that really hit the mark. There's a couple of films I was on the fence about seeing that I won't bother with now, yet I'm looking even MORE forward to finally seeing Frank Henenlotter's long-awaited return to the directors chair with BAD BIOLOGY. The only downside to the book reviews (being here in America) is most of the titles covered are UK releases, so it's either wait for them to hit U.S. shores or cough up the extra postage for mail order! Each review is insightful and gives great overviews of the entire book (from the story's prose through its plot). This issue's fiction is (once again) fantastic. My faves were HAUNT-TYPE EXPERIENCE by Roz Clarke (an interesting take on the "Ghost Hunters" trend) and Aliette De Bodard's dazzling, ghostly opener, THE LONELY HEART. Seriously, folks: if you're missing BLACK STATIC, you're truly missing out. *** CAT IN THE BRAIN (Deluxe Edition DVD) Grindhouse Releasing goes all-out with this 2-disc edition of one of the most sort-after Euro-splatter films. Director Fulci himself stars as a director haunted by his own creations, hence why there's so much footage from some of his early films (the carnage is pretty intense if you're not into the gore thing). As long as you have a fast forward to get through the scenes of Fulci wandering around aimlessly, you'll probably enjoy this obscure outing from the late Italian horror maestro. While the film itself is hit or miss (if you're not a Fulci fan you'll probably hate it), the extras alone are worth the price of admission: the footage of Fulci at a 1996 Fangoria convention in NY is priceless, there's the original Italian theater trailes, never-before-seen interviews with Fulci and star Brett Halsey, and plenty more to satisfy any gore-geek. My favorite is the liner-note insert, featuring great views from Antonella Fucli, director Eli Roth, and horror author David J. Schow (I still find it hard to believe he likes this film better than THE BEYOND, but to each his own). This is at least worthy of a rental, even if for its historic significance. *** TALES HELD HOSTAGE by Joel Arnold This special limited edition (only 100 made) was given out as a bonus to those who had ordered Joel's longer collection, BEDTIME STORIES FOR THE APOCALYPSE (see review in our May '09 updates). While it features one story from APOCALYPSE, the other 3 are very well done, especially the nifty insert titled MISSING DIGITS (printed on actual dated "ransom notes"). As far as chapbooks go, this one's quite memorable.
FEBRUARY 2009's ODDS & ENDS
I had no idea Cheech and Chong lived in or around Camp Crystal Lake; either that, or Jason Voorhees has taken up marijuana farming since we last saw him, considering his turf is covered with the stuff in this 2009 “re-telling” of everyone’s favorite slasher series. At least that’s one of the reasons our first 5 unlucky teens travel to Crystal Lake. But instead of finding the legendary field of weeds, they just happen to find Jason (on the first night they set up camp and hear the legend of the Lake by campfire).
The first 20+ minutes is basically a mini-remake of the first two films, the rest being an update of parts 2 & 3, including arrow-to-the-head violence, Jason hung by a chain, an axe attack, and even a wheelchair is seen in the background of the Voorhees shack (which I’ll assume was a homage to Part 2’s wheelchair-bound machete victim). Despite the decent-sized body count—and contrary to several reviews I’ve read—I didn’t find the gore level all too high, and simply NOWHERE near that of the original. The quick editing during the kill scenes helps to cover up the special effects, hence making them less graphic—and affective—than what was seen in the original.
And then there are the boobs. There are enough of ‘em flopping around the screen that any underage guy who manages to get into the theater will probably forget there’s a masked maniac running around. A topless water-ski scene adds some un-needed cheese, and a gratuitous sex scene (as Jason watches on through the window) makes me wonder if the deformed killer has finally started to consider there’s more use for women than decapitation.
I think there’s more drinking and pot smoking here than any of the previous films (including two buddies taking hits off a customized bong). With all the sex and partying going on, it was nice for the director to add a little bit of horror; there’s a couple of decent “jump-out-at-you” scenes and the quick opening sequence of Mrs. Voorhees getting whacked quickly cuts to the chase.
This new FRIDAY, despite its jumbled story and timeline, while not as bad as I was expecting, is basically a forgettable remake.
For slasher junkies only!
(Note: In the tradition of recent remakes like DAWN OF THE DEAD, Jason now moves Ninja-fast. Go figure).
TOKYO GORE POLICE (TGP) is one of those films that comes along ever-so rarely; despite the fact it's a (nearly) non-stop gore-fest that'd make H.G. Lewis and (old) Peter Jackson puke, it also has that indescribable "thing" that makes a cult film a GENUINE cult film.
From it's opening roof-top raid that brings the opening scene from the original DAWN OF THE DEAD to mind (right before getting into some insane dual-chainsaw mayhem), to it's STREET TRASH meets SHIVERS ultra-satisying ending, TOKYO GORE POLICE is all that and a bag of limbs. And guts. And geysers upon geysers of the red stuff (I think more stage blood was used in this film than any other I can think of).
The gore-gous Eihi Shiina plays sword-wielding cop Ruka, the ultimate exterminator of "Engineers," a group of bio-engineered mass murderers who, when wounded, mutate into stronger killers with even fiercer weapons. When Ruka eventually tracks down the head of the Engineers, a nifty back-story is explained to tie-up the slight confusion so we can get back to enjoying the comic-book styled carnage.
TGP features a "canteena" scene that'll make you forget all about the one in the original STAR WARS, the wickedest castration scene since I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE, an attack by an alligator-hooker-mutant (!) and so many more inventive, bizarro action sequences I couldn't even keep track of them. Add a plus here for some hysterical commercials seen throughout the film, as well as a varied and ass-kicking soundtrack.
I'm not a big fan Asian cinema, but TGP blew me away. A must see for lovers of twisted cinema.
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JANUARY 2009'S ODDS & ENDS
After an extended wait, DARK DISCOVERIES' 12th issue finally arrived around the end of December of '08, and the wait was well worth it, especially if you're a fan of William F. Nolan. You get a great interview with the legendary author, plus two short stories as well as a nice tribute section, plus there's top-notch fiction from Steve Vernon, Kurt Newton, Ken Rand, and my favorite this issue, WHAT ISN'T THERE by the always creepy Gerard Houarner (and yes, that's a compliment). There's also interviews with Joe R. Lansdale, Steve Vernon, and a very informative one with Rick Hautala. All this, plus the return of Bill Gauthier's always entertaining column. Visit http://www.darkdiscoveries.com/ for subscription as well as single issue purchase info. The magazine has also been showing up at select Barnes & Noble stores across the U.S.
LOVE ME DEADLY (1972), I guess at the time of its release, this must've been kind-of shocking to the audience. It follows a woman who is torn between her love for the dead and her love for the living. Despite it's silly 70s fashions, music, and overall AURA, this one still features some disturbing sequences, especially when the leader of a necrophiliac cult embalms some poor guy alive. Definitely not for the squeamish! (Of course, German's 1988 sickie NEKROMANTIK makes this look like Mr. Rogers--and trust me--you don't want to see that one!). How 'Wonder Woman/Carrol Burnett Show' regular LYLE WAGGONER was conned into doing this one is beyond comprehension. Another fine, obscure release from the loonies at SHREIK SHOW.
Despite its new (or original) title, ANTHROPOHAGUS still sucks as bad as it did when I watched the edited VHS version back in the early 80s (then known as 'The Grim Reaper'). The title cannibal/manster doesn't show up until 53 minutes into the film, and the restored gore scenes just don't work: one scene (that managed to get it banned in the UK during the 80s "Video Nasty" days) of the Anthropophagus ripping out and eating a fetus is just laughably dumb and ineffective.
The only good deal here is the 2nd disc of extras, featuring a fine retrospect of director Joe D'Amato. Too bad ANTHROPOPHAGUS is one of his worst films---and that's saying a lot!
Shreik Show does put out some good discs, but this one is strictly for euro-cannibal completists only.
I'm still amazed a sequel was made, but I doubt I'll look for it.
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ODDS & ENDS FROM Dec. 2008:
BUST DOWN THE DOOR AND EAT ALL THE CHICKENS (Issue # 8 / 76 pages / ordering info. at www.absurdistjournal.com)
Yet another feast for bizarro fans, this digest-sized 8th issue (adorned by KILLER cover art courtesy of Jeffery Kaminiski) features 11 stories sure to twist your mind: highlights include the dementedly funny "This Side of Ironside" by D. Harlan Wilson and "We Witnessed the Advent of a New Apocalypse During an Episode of Friends" by Blake Butler. Other memorable tales come fromDarby Larson, Cameron Pierce and Matthew Simmons. There's also a couple of bizarro book reviews. Hey--for $5.00, how can you go wrong?
FLESH IS FLEETING...ART IS FOREVER! (or, "Some Bullshit Will Continue Even After the Dead Wipe Us Out") by Gary A. Braunbeck (2008 Creeping Hemlock Press / 17 pp. / signed, limited chapbook of 250 copies)
Written, designed, and printed within a week to show off at the annual Zombie-Fest in Pittsburgh, this super-short chapbook maye have been crafted quickly, but drips of superb quality both inside and out.
Braunbeck delivers another unique zombie tale (re: his Stoker-winning short, WE NOW PAUSE FOR STATION IDENTIFICATION); this time we watch a "Resurrected Orchestra" through the eyes of a life-long art/music lover. He's at the Grand Theatre to witness a one-time event, and is blown away by the work undead composer Michael Russell has done with his orchestra.
But when the music ends, the Braunbeckian-poop really hits the fan...and that's a good thing!
Chapbook fans will want this gore-geous little project, designed by Creeping Hemlock's Julia Sevin (different-grades of paper help to give it a feel as unique as its story). Visit http://www.creepinghemlock.com/ for more info.
BLACK STATIC: Transmissions from Beyond (Issue No. 6 / 64 pp. / ordering info. at http://ttapress.com/ )
I've been reading BLACK STATIC since it was called THE THIRD ALTERNATIVE, and after countless issues this has probably become my all-around favorite horror fiction magazine for many reasons, the two main being: 1) Issues are released regularly and 2) the stories contained within each issue are on par (or above) what's published in CEMETERY DANCE and WEIRD TALES.
That said, this latest issues features some TOP NOTCH novel reviews, film reviews, and several interesting little tidbits.
Bit it's the fiction that makes this more-than-worth not only the cover price, but a subscription: Simon Avery's lead-off tale THE BETTER PART OF YOU is one of the finest of the lot, while Peter Tennant's SPECIAL NEEDS is a heart-wrenching character study that offers much more than your standard short story. My favorite here is paul Meloy's ALL MOUTH, which peeked my interest enough to order his new short-story collection, 'Islington Crocodiles.'
With its highly unusual covers and glossy pages, the UK's BLACK STATIC will be cherished by horror fans on both sides of the pond.