Depression
If you suffer from depression, one thing you will be aware of is that it is far more than just feeling down. In fact, depression affects not only how we feel, but how we think about things, our energy levels, our concentration, our sleep, even our interest in sex. So depression has an effect on many aspects of our lives.
Depression affects our motivation to do things. We feel apathetic and experience a loss of energy and interest - nothing seems worth doing, everything is so pointless that it's hopeless to even try. We have to drag ourselves around. Each day can be a torment of having to force ourselves to perform even the minor activities.
Is all depression the same? No.
That answer was short. There are a number of different types.
Major depression has at least five of the following possible symptoms, which have to be present for at least two weeks.
Low mood
Marked loss of pleasure
Significant change in appetite and a loss of at least 5 percent of normal body weight.
Sleep disturbance
Agitation or feelings of being slowed down
Loss of energy or feeling fatigued virtually every day
Feeling worthless, low self-esteem, tendency to feel guilty
Loss of the ability to concentrate
Thoughts of death and suicide
If you have such a list as this it is best to seek help from a doctor or a mental health professional.
Depression can have an acute onset, (i.e within days or weeks), or come on gradually (over months or years). It can begin at any time.
Sadly, depression is very common. If you suffer from depression you may feel like a failure, if you have a lot of anger and hatred inside, if you are terrified out of your wits, if you think life is not worth living, if you feel trapped and desperate to escape, whatever your feeling, you are not the only one. So many people feel like you do.
Of course knowing this does not make your depression less painful, but it does mean that there is nothing bad about you because you are in this state of mind. These feelings are sadly often part of being depressed. Some people who have not been depressed may not understand it or may tell you to pull yourself together, but this does not mean that there is anything bad about you. It just means that they find it difficult to understand.
Remember, there are many things that can be done to help people who are depressed. There are some good drugs (antidepressants) available and many effective psychological treatments.
Anxiety
What is it?
The Webster’s dictionary defines anxiety as:
A state of uneasiness and apprehension, as about future uncertainties.
A state of apprehension, uncertainty, and fear resulting from the anticipation of a realistic or fantasized threatening event or situation, often impairing physical and psychological functioning.
Worry, is anxiety. The Webster’s dictionary defines worry as: a troubled state of mind, anxiety, distressed, persistent mental uneasiness.
Worry results from fearful thinking about a future event(s) or circumstances.
An anxiety condition is NOT a random, unknown and uncontrollable illness (even though it FEELS like it). Anxiety conditions appear for specific reasons and have definite underlying reasons why they persist. Once these reasons and underlying factors are properly addressed, anxiety conditions can be eliminated, and for many, for good.
Anxiety conditions persist only because the underlying factors aren’t properly addressed. That’s why those who take medication as their only form of treatment often either remain on medication long term, or find themselves going on and coming off over and over again. Unless the underlying factors are properly addressed, anxiety will almost always persist or return.
Working with an experienced anxiety professional (an anxiety coach, psychologist or counselor who has personally successfully beaten anxiety themselves) produces the most effective and lasting results.
Anxiety conditions, for the most part, can be divided into two main categories:
Circumstantial anxiety – this type of anxiety condition is characterized by symptoms that appear because of an acute stressful event(s), circumstance(s) or emotion(s). Examples include a relationship difficulty (fighting within or the break-up of an important relationship), career challenge (job loss or important job promotion), illness or death of a loved one, or educational stress (intense workload).
Because stress is often the precursor to an anxiety condition, most early stress conditions fall within this category. Once the event, circumstance or emotion has passed, with sufficient self-help materials, rest and time, most anxiety conditions in this category will resolve on their own.
Chronic anxiety – this type of anxiety condition is characterized by symptoms that come and go over an extended period of time (from a few months to a year, or from a few months to many years). Examples include an individual who has symptoms come and go at different stages of their life (as early as 4 years of age), remain as an ongoing backdrop to their life, or have been on and off of medication throughout their life.
Chronic anxiety also has a deep-seated fear component. Many feel that they live in fear whenever their “episodes of illness” appear. Others may have it as a constant companion as they journey through life. Episodes can last a few weeks to many years. Some can remain constant throughout their life. Conditions that last for an extended period of time can also be referred to as “entrenched” anxiety.
Within these categories, there are four types of anxiety:
Spontaneous anxiety or panic – anxiety or panic that occurs regardless of where a person is.
Situational or Phobic anxiety – anxiety or panic that occurs because of a particular situation or location.
Anticipatory anxiety or panic – anxiety or panic that occurs because of a thought that something “might” happen or a situation that “might” occur.
Involuntary anxiety or panic – anxiety or panic that occurs involuntarily, by itself, or “out of the blue” that hasn’t been preceded by spontaneous, situational, or anticipatory anxiety.
There are also degrees of anxiety conditions. They can be categorized as:
Early-stage or onset anxiety – symptoms have just started to appear, and while they may be annoying and mildly distressing, they aren’t a reason for over concern. Often one trip to the doctor is reassuring enough that nothing more serious is going on.
This is the best stage to address stress or anxiety, since the more entrenched the condition becomes, the more complex it becomes and the longer it will take to resolve. However, properly addressing an anxiety condition at any stage can bring about full recovery. Bibliotherapy (reading self-help materials) is most often sufficient for full recovery.
Mild severity – symptoms may be intermittent or persistent. However, their negative impact on an individual’s lifestyle is minimal. While the symptoms may be annoying and mildly distressing, they aren’t too restricting. Individuals at this stage may start to become fearful of their condition or their condition’s implications. The individual may make a few trips to the doctor in hopes of finding a solution.
Addressing a condition at this stage also produces expedient results. Bibliotherapy is most often sufficient for full recovery.
Moderate severity – symptoms may be more complex, and may be more severe and impacting. Often they will be more persistent, more concerning and worrisome. There is moderate lifestyle impairment. While the individual may be able to force themselves to do mandatory tasks, many activities are restricted. Fear of their condition is becoming more predominant. There may be repeated trips to the doctor in hopes of finding a resolution.
Doctors often prescribe medications at this stage to help reduce symptoms and the negative impact they have on the individual’s lifestyle. Unfortunately, medication alone at this stage often only masks the underlying condition. This masking effect often enables the condition and its effects to continue to resurface time after time unless the underlying condition is properly addressed. Fortunately, more and more doctors are now recognizing the value of a comprehensive approach such as personal coaching, counseling, cognitive therapy and bibliotherapy. While bibliotherapy can produce positive results, working with a personal anxiety coach (someone with extensive experience, and preferably, someone who has experienced anxiety themselves) can produce significantly more effective and lasting results.
High anxiety – symptoms are dramatic, persistent and entrenched. Lifestyle is significantly impaired. Repeated trips to the doctor prove fruitless. Many at this stage are already on medication, yet their symptoms persist to varying degrees. They have a high level of fear about their condition and where it might lead. Many feel their condition is out of control.
Recommended treatment at this stage should involve personal coaching in conjunction with good self-help materials. Self-help materials alone will most likely not produce full recovery or lasting healing.
Very high anxiety – intense and entrenched symptoms. Dramatic to full lifestyle impairment. This level of severity is more complex and often more difficult to address. It is highly recommend that the help of a personal anxiety coach, counsellor or mental health professional be involved at this stage. While self-help materials will play an important role in the recovery process, one-on-one assistance is most often required before normal and lasting health can be attained when severity has reached this level.
Eating Disorders
Bulimia
What it is:
Bulimia is an eating disorder. A person suffering from bulimia binges (eats a large quantity of food) and then purges (either induces vomiting or takes laxatives so that food will not be digested and will pass directly through the body). Bulimia, like Anorexia can be deadly and has underlying emotional causes.
Warning Signs:
Self-induced vomiting.
Using laxatives to prevent weight gain.
An obsession with gaining weight.
A fascination with food - buying cookbooks and food magazines.
Rapid consumption of large amounts of food.
Extreme guilt over food eaten.
What to do:
Like anorexia, bulimia is a serious disease which requires therapy and medical attention to overcome. Dental work may be required to repair damage done to the back teeth (the back teeth are coated with stomach acid when a person suffering from bulimia purges, eating away the enamel and damaging the teeth).
Anorexia Nervosa
What it is:
Anorexia is an eating disorder. A person suffering from Anorexia is obsessed with keeping their weight down, usually to an very unhealthy extreme. Survivors are prone to anorexia because it is a disease which thrives on low self-esteem, something that results from sexual assault. Anorexia can be deadly and needs to be treated. In most cases this involves dealing with the underlying cause of Anorexia, the trauma of sexual assault.
Warning Signs:
Abnormally afraid of becoming fat.
Calorie and/or fat gram counting.
Restriction of food.
Starvation dieting.
The use of diet pills to control weight.
Amenorrhea - The absence of at least three consecutive menstrual cycles.
Body weight less than 85% of that expected for one's age and height.
Eating junk food (usually candy), drinking a lot of coffee or tea, and/or smoking to control hunger pains.
If you feel that you may suffer from an eating disorder, please go and talk to your doctor.
Low Self-Esteem
What is it?
Self esteem refers to how you think and feel about yourself. The thoughts and feelings you have about yourself may be positive, negative, or mixed. The more positive these thoughts and feelings are, the higher your self-esteem will be and conversely the more negative these thoughts and feelings are, the lower your self-esteem will be. Feeling good about yourself is important as it gives you a sense of control over your life, helps you feel satisfied in your relationships, allows you to set realistic expectations for yourself, and enables you to pursue your own goals. Feeling badly about yourself, on the other hand, contributes to a distorted view of yourself and others, a lack of self-confidence, poor performance, and unhappiness.
Q: How frequently does it occur?
Low self esteem is very common. It is difficult to estimate its prevalence since it is often a component of other emotional difficulties.
Q: What may I be experiencing?
You may experience some or all of the following:
I am easily hurt by criticism.
I am very shy.
I may be overly aggressive.
I try to hide my feelings from others.
I fear close relationships because I fear rejection.
I tend to blame myself.
I don't feel I am as good as others; for example, I am not as attractive, smart, funny, etcetera.
I do not recognize my own good qualities.
I do not feel I have much to offer.
I avoid new experiences.
When I do succeed, I tend to attribute it to luck.
I may secretly feel glad when others fail.
I keep going over and over what I said in a social interaction and worry that I may have said the wrong thing.
I believe that things just happen to meäthat I have no personal control.
I sometimes feel like an outsider.
I am scared of failure.
I feel I am underachieving.
I am always trying to please others and have trouble saying no.
I sometimes feel lonely when others are around.
I feel depressed.
I sometimes think of harming myself.
I engage in self-destructive behaviour, such as drinking, in order to cope with my pain.
Q: What are some of the causes?
Your level of self esteem is based upon the unique experiences and personal relationships that have made up your life. Whereas positive and fulfilling relationships help raise your self esteem, negative experiences and troubled relationships tend to lower self esteem. Experiences within your family, at school, or within your society all influence your self esteem. For example, if your family always compared you to others and was never satisfied with your performance, then your self esteem may be adversely affected. Or, for example, if your parents were not attuned to your needs, you may not have felt understood and attended to and this can also compromise self-esteem. Poor performance in school, especially if criticized by classmates and teachers, can also negatively affect self esteem as it may leave you feeling incompetent in comparison to others.
There is considerable pressure to adopt the standards reflected in the media. You may, therefore, find yourself comparing unfavourably to society's ideas of what constitutes beauty and success and hence feel less worthy about yourself.
Q: What can I expect?
No single event or person can determine your level of self esteem. It develops over time, constantly changing with experience.
Q: How can I deal with this on my own?
Since low self-esteem is a result of negative thoughts and feelings, it is important to try to alter how you think and feel about yourself. This might include:
Identifying and accepting your strengths and weaknesses; everyone has them.
Setting realistic goals and achieving them by learning new skills.
Learning to enjoy your own company by pursuing an activity you like.
Learning to say no.
Taking a "can-do" attitude. For example, setting a reasonable time table for personal goals and offering yourself encouragement along the way.
Exploring and appreciating your own personal differences and talents and, hence, being proud of who you are.
Accepting and learning from your mistakes; that is, not overreacting to errors, but seeing them as opportunities to learn and grow from.
Taking pride in your achievements, both great and small.
Replacing negative self-talk with positive statements. Rather than telling yourself, for example, that you are not pretty enough, think of an attractive feature you do have.
In the event of a rejection, examining the basis of the rejection without being judgmental toward yourself.
Surrounding yourself with positive, healthy people.
Getting involved in projects that are meaningful to you.
Remembering that you do have control over some aspects of your life.
Trying not to be misled by other's standards, but rather creating standards of your own to live by.
Exercising, eating right, and getting plenty of sleep; being exhausted and out of shape can leave you more vulnerable to feeling insecure and anxious.
Q: How might I know I need help?
It is important to realize that everyone doubts their own worth or value at some time or the other. It is only when you are unable to find anything positive about yourself or feel depressed, alone, and unhappy that you may need extra support.
Q: What kinds of help are available?
Both individual and group counselling/therapy can help improve your self-esteem. Such therapy might include assertiveness training, communication skills, and learning to recognize and understand your own emotional responses in relation to others. In addition, therapy may also explore early and later experiences that contributed to your low self-esteem. Group therapy is particularly effective in that it helps to foster trust and build relationships, to enhance a sense of normalcy as similarities are discovered, and encourages a sense of belonging-components that are important for building self esteem.
