Leigh: Nearing 28-years-old at the time of starting this site (11/28/2007). Myself and this body are female, Native American in nationality, free in spirit. I am a writer and artist. I sing and play several instruments, though possibly not very well. I am an animal lover (with the exception of creepy-crawly or slithering things) who wishes she could go more than nine months without meat and dairy. My favorite animal is the wolf. Though I try to steer clear of stereotypes, with all of that said I guess it's only fitting that I'm a lesbian.
A very happily spoken-for one at that. My partner is wonderful with my others and though it came as a shock to her at first, she has learned to tell the difference between who is out by simple mannerisms and voice inflections. As for the presence of my others in my life and my diagnosis- I am accepting of them and it, and grateful. This may come as a shock to those who do not live with this. I firmly believe they (and it) saved my life. Yes, when I first became cognizant of the "voices in my head" I was pissed off, annoyed, thought I was schizophrenic, possessed, or just insane (though there is a vast difference between schizophrenia and plain insanity). However, as I began to understand my diagnosis and became willing to listen and talk back to these people, I slowly became less angry and more accepting. Then came gratitude. As of now, we are learning to function as a group. We are not, and never will be, working toward integration. That would do me more harm than good. We have come a long way in a year, from chaos and bickering to decent functioning and cooperation. I appreciate them daily and hope they know this.
Brook and Marina- We started out as just Brook, so Brook will talk first in italics then I, Marina, will speak without italics.
I wasn't a girl or a guy all the time. It changed as frequently as the day, sometimes during the day. Our age changes [over a wide spectrum] as well, but this seems to have limited itself a bit now. I didn't like having my gender constantly changing and not having a pronoun to attach to myself. Nobody wanted to offend me by using "it", "them/they" and so forth but the transgendered pronouns didn't seem appropriate as I am not transgendered either. It came to a point where I split into two: myself, and a female, Marina. I am now a male all of the time and Marina is a female all of the time. - I don't remember being male, like, ever. So I couldn't tell you if I was new altogether when Brook split me off from him or if I've just forgotten a whole lot of stuff. I don't think it's all that important. I like being a gal and he likes being a guy (in a gal's body, a bit too much). We're here, we think, to help process the past and deal with it. We think this also explains why our age(s) change(s) so dramatically. Generally we are (an) adult(s), but at times can be older teenagers. Brook more often than myself.
Cassidy- I go by "Cassie", actually, thank you so much. (I hate when someone else in this group uses my proper name. It's rude.) About me, huh? I'm 26. People either love me or hate me. That's usually because they either get on my good side or my bad side from the beginning. I'm not going to be nice to some bitch if I don't know them. Tough shit. Why am I here? I saw someone blow his brains out.
We saw someone blow his brains out. I had to take over while
she was in shock. Yea I'm angry. You would be too.
Rebecka- I'm Rebecka but you can call me "Becka" if you'd like. I'm 23. I guess I'm sort of the odd-girl-out, if you like. Our American mouth opens and an English accent comes out when I'm at front.
So I try not to talk too much. They seem to consider me the mother hen of our group, though I am not certain how anyone came to this conclusion. I can be nurturing, I suppose, but mostly I am strict and don't care for misbehavior. I have my own moments of prank pulling and the like, but as a rule I feel there are standards and safety rules one should live by. I may have gotten this from the way I came to be here in the first place. It's a long story and I developed slowly over a three-month period of time. Our core was living with a man who abused her in every way possible. The last night she was with him he tried to kill her. Needless to say she got away. That was the moment I came into a full being of my own and I have been here since. Perhaps I am that voice which tells her what and who is safe or not.
Stacey-
Hi! My name's Stacey and I am twenty-two. I got here in July of 2002
but shortly after that I went to sleep for a very long time. I woke up
now and then and I caught little glimpses of what was going on outside
but mostly I just slept. Then on August 2, 2007 I woke up. I don't
know why or how but I did and I was alone inside in some dark place and
started screaming. I didn't make the best entrance. I scared people.
It took me a while to accept that they didn't hate me here and that
they weren't angry with me for that. I got here when a man from a
church raped our body. He's in prison now 'cause he did it to a lot of
people. I don't understand how people who work for God can do that to
people. I'm not religious but it still doesn't make sense to me. Part
of me hopes he finds peace because I know that's what I should hope
for, but a bigger part of me wants him to hurt really badly. I don't
know if that's ok or not.
Marsha- Hello. I am Marsha. I'm not totally positive what my age is. I'm not totally positive how I got here. We keep going back and forth with this, trying to figure it out. My first memory is when the body was 19 and raped; our body's nineteenth birthday. Then I have a memory after that of our grandmother dying when our body was 24. Our grandmother died in a freak accident and we were very close to her. Both things took a big toll on Leigh and myself as well. I dealt with pain by doing drugs and drinking. Now I'm not allowed to. I never did that to harm our body at all. I just didn't want us to hurt any more. Especially Leigh. But she said it could kill us and I don't want us to die either. I thought my purpose here was to numb us but it's not. I realized recently that I handle physical pain way better than anyone else so my purpose is to help do physical stuff that other people have a really hard time with because we have chronic pain issues.
Annabelle- I'm better known as "Anna" but you can call me by either. Doesn't bother me either way.
I am intra-physically eighteen; what I mean by this is that I came here when the body was eighteen so we have to assume I am eighteen. However mentally and intellectually I am a good bit older. Yet again, rape. This time by a stranger in the military. I won't tell the entire story here. That is not my place. I will say that this event did not affect me how one might expect. Instead of being afraid of sex I am very sexual. I am here to help our core learn that being a sexual person is healthy, normal, and (within legal and moral reason) can be pleasurable. It's a long road to travel down for someone very deeply hurt, but we're working hard and treading along.
Andrea- Hiya! Call me "Andie".
My age changes between 16 and 19. Usually I'm about 17 but right now, as I'm typing this I feel more like I'm 16. There are a lot of reasons I'm here. It took me four years to totally develop. They were four very hard years. L was in an abusive relationship that we had a hard time getting her out of. She wanted out but that dude wouldn't let her out. She got pregnant and miscarried cuz some man at a concert took a lot of drugs and pushed her down a bunch of stairs on our belly. I helped with the things Anna and Marsha helped with too. Now I'm here to help with the physical nurturing of the body, to help have fun, and to just be a teenager.
