GrahamLester.Com

Some Limericks for Kids

Alas for the death of Hugh Hannity
Whose boat was capsized by a manatee
When they saw it swim by
All the townsfolk would cry
“There he goes! Oh the beast! The Hugh manatee!”
Graham Lester


A schoolboy named Jeremy Hoff
Found a little green man in his broth
Who yelled, “Save me, don’t frown
I need help or I’ll drown”--
Then they both needed time to cool off.
Graham Lester


A funny young fellow named Perkins
Was terribly fond of small gherkins.
One day after tea
He ate ninety three
And pickled his internal workings.
Anonymous


An intrepid explorer named Petty
Intended to capture a yeti,
But the yeti yelled, “Freeze!
I’ve a gun—on your knees,
While my Dad gets the ring and confetti.”
Graham Lester


Is Algebra fruitless endeavor?
It seems they’ve been trying for ever
To find x, y, and z
And it’s quite clear to me:
If they’ve not found them yet then they'll never.
Graham Lester


There was an old man of Dumbree,
Who taught little owls to drink tea;
For he said, 'To eat mice,
Is not proper or nice'
That amiable man of Dumbree.
Edward Lear


A native of Chalamazug
Once fell overboard from a tug.
He cried, “Ding-dong boller
Doo jango zong zoller”
Which means, “Glug-glug glug glug-glug glug.”
Graham Lester


A circus performer named Brian
Once smiled as he rode on a lion.
They came back from the ride,
But with Brian inside,
And the smile on the face of the lion.
Anonymous


A cow said, “I am not amoosed.
Man’s actions cannot be excused.
I've nothing to do
But to eat and say ‘moo’--
I’ve a feeling I’m just being oozed.”
Graham Lester


There was a young fellow named Flynn
Who was really remarkably thin.
When he carried a pole
People said, “Bless my soul!
What a shock to find out you’ve a twin.”
Anonymous


A schoolboy more cheeky than clever
Stroked his teacher to death with a feather.
Though it was a fowl deed,
All the jury agreed,
Were it not for the laughs he’d have never.
Graham Lester


An ambitious young fellow named Matt
Tried to parachute using his hat.
Folks below looked so small
As he started to fall,
Then got bigger and bigger and SPLAT!
Graham Lester


A mouse in her room woke Miss Dowd
She was frightened, it must be allowed,
Soon a happy thought hit her
To scare off the critter
She sat up in bed and meowed
Anonymous


There was a bold pirate of Boulder
Whose cutlass was slung from his shoulder.
He’d mighty fine notions
Of plundering oceans,
But his mom said: “Perhaps, when you’re older.”
Graham Lester


How to spell the potato has tried
Many minds, sometimes mine, I’ll confide
Though it may have an eye
There’s no E – don’t ask why!
Not until it’s been baked, boiled or fried
Graham Lester


If you’re lacking a little good cheer,
Go and tickle a bull in the rear,
For I’m sure that the rumor
That they’ve no sense of humor
Is a product of ignorant fear.
Graham Lester


There was a young lady of Ryde
Who ate some green apples and died.
The apples fermented
Inside the lamented
And made cider inside her inside.
Anonymous


There once was a schoolgirl named Rose
Who abhorred people ogling her nose,
So she took my advice
And bought fourteen live mice,
Which she hung by their tails from her clothes.
Graham Lester


Miss Penelope Brown was so tall,
She attracted no suitors at all.
Being asked if a dance
She would visit perchance,
She said “I’ll be home having a bawl.”
Graham Lester


There was an old person of Dean,
Who dined on one pea, and one bean;
For he said, 'More than that,
Would make me too fat,'
That cautious old person of Dean.
Edward Lear


A talkative tourist named Margot
Was handed a plate of escargot
At a fancy French feast,
Then her chattering ceased
And the whole crowd soon heard her new car go.
Graham Lester


A tutor who tooted a flute
Tried to teach two young tooters to toot
Said the two to the tutor,
"Is it harder to toot, or . . .
To tutor two tutors to toot?"
Carolyn Wells


A gullible rancher named Clyde
Bought forty-eight gnus “on the side.”
Said his wife, “This herd’s phony,
All but one is a pony.”
“Well, it’s all gnus to me” he replied.
Graham Lester


“I talk,” claimed a linguist named Hamill
“With every species of mammal”
When asked for a reference
He said, “What’s your preference?
My mother-in-law or my camel?”
Graham Lester


There once was a girl who said, “How
Shall I manage to carry my cow?
Every time that I ask it
To get in my basket,
It makes such a terrible row.”
Anonymous


There was a young lady of Bath,
Who resembled, alas, a giraffe.
When she queued for the bus,
All the babies would fuss--
And their elders threw hoops for a laugh.
Graham Lester


There is a young schoolboy named Mason
Whose mom cuts his hair with a basin.
When he stands in one place
With a scarf round his face
It is hard to tell which way he’s facin’.
Graham Lester


A proud tightrope walker named Jenny
Said, "Nets? I refuse to use any,”
But, making a wave,
She tumbled and gave
One breathless performance too many.
Graham Lester


There was an old man of Peru
Who dreamt he was eating his shoe
He woke in the night
With a terrible fright
And found it was perfectly true
Anonymous


On a bike race through Scotland did ped-al
A speedy French rider who led-all.
“Is my lead big?” he cried
“Wee,” a Scotsman replied,
So he slowed down and won no gold med-al.
Graham Lester


There once was a General Tate
Who proclaimed, “I have not bathed of late,
For the last bath I drew
Was nineteen forty-two,
And my next one is twenty O-eight.”
Graham Lester


There is an old fellow named King
Who thinks he’s a bird on the wing.
He climbed up a steeple,
Which scared all the people,
So they’ve caged him and taught him to sing.
Graham Lester


There was an old man of Dundalk,
Who tried to teach fishes to walk;
When they tumbled down dead,
He grew weary, and said,
'I had better go back to Dundalk!'
Edward Lear


Three tigers escaped at eleven
From the famed Paignton Zoo, down in Devon.
They were searching the streets
For some fresh crunchy treats,
But I caught them in verse -- Oh, thank Heaven!
Graham Lester


In the village of Jingamafloo,
They don’t look at the world like we do.
When a gentleman dies
His dear wife shouts, “Surprise!
Now we’ll all get a little more stew.”
Graham Lester


There was a young lady from Leeds
Who swallowed a package of seeds.
Now this sorry young lass
Is quite covered in grass,
But has all the tomatoes she needs.
Anonymous


A very smart dog I once saw
Liked to ride on a bike to the store;
And, from what I could tell,
He rode it quite well,
Though his hand signals truly were paw.
Graham Lester


I arrived at the Hotel Belle Vue
With my kanga and motorbike too.
Said the doorman, “Good day!
Am I right when I say
That you’re needing a vroom with a roo?”
Graham Lester


A rather disgruntled young Viking
Found plunder was not to his liking
When they yelled, “All ashore”
He just threw down his oar
And announced, “I’m not striking, I’m striking”
Graham Lester


"There's a train at 4:04," said Miss Jenny
"Four tickets I'll take; have you any?"
Said the man at the door,
"Not four for 4:04,
For four for 4:04 is too many."
Anonymous


There once was a baby named Lou
And he grew and he grew and he grew
And he grew and he grew
And he grew and he grew,
But he stopped when he reached six foot two.
Graham Lester


An extremely slim model, Miss Slater,
Was attacked by a croc and it ate 'er.
Said her trainer, "Tough deal!
What a horrible meal—
We should throw it some greens and potater."
Graham Lester


What a limerick is in a crunch
Is a bit like a loony’s light lunch
Though it briefly delights
It’s just four nutty bites
Swallowed down with a ludicrous punch
Graham Lester

You are welcome to repost any of my limericks that I have posted here on your web page as long as you clearly credit me – Graham Lester – as the author

Limericks for Grown-Ups

Poetry Society Links for Kids and Teachers

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