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Video code provided by KEKAI BOYIF U COME PLEASE SIGN THE GUESTBOOK!!!!!Hello my name is GINGER though watch out it's constanly changing. I am a proud vegetarian. So I hate animal cruelty. This is my personal site.I am using the site name gothic girlie because kids at school call me a goth cuz I dress different so this is a big FUCK YOU to all of them!.
Journal
mood-happy
wow i'm hyper.maybe it's cuz i can almost play the intro to 187 flawlessly or that my dad buying warped tix on friday which makes me really happy!or maybe it's because I'm starting to understand the hard stuff in algebra which is really fucking awesome. OR THAT I CNA HAVE COFFEE AGAIN!lent is fucking over i can have COFFEE! the next a static lullaby album comes on next tuesday i believe and I'm listening to subseven.so i'm actually really happy right now:D
in a couple minutes i have to go find a song for the sotm page and see if the fucking bloody romance video works on the votm page....yet cuz it works on the musicvideocoades site but not on mine GRRRR!
I'm pissed cuz because of the hard drive not being here yet i have limited space meaning i can't save anything pictures or anything i cna't download and media player or imesh so i'm stuck listening to old mixed cds and normal cds i've listenied to a thousand fuckin times. and my fucking face is driving me crazy. the brewers yeast shit i take helps with acne i stopped taking it in error for 3 days and my forhead is fucked up all over again.
and i'm currently listening to nicole rant on about something that i can't really sya here cuz she'll kill me but its pretty amuzing because everyone can see it but her and she continues to DENY it even though deep down she knows it TRUE so it's fun to laugh about.
YEAH! i might be going to the taking back sunday concert too. my friend who's name i wont say because if things dont work out i don't want it listed here. anyways yeha she can get free tix so her and i might be going to see taking back sunday and if not hopefully they'll play warped tour and we'll see them there.and if not well then meh that's too bad cuz theres alot of other fucking awesome bands playing warped and another tbs show will come around eventually!
well I'm fucking bored so meh w/e.
<3
mood-blah
songs-my eyes burn-matchbook romance, and the er theme
lyrics-And I sit here with a sick grin Choking as I laugh until I die.
I'm back and my computer is finnaly semi working again! yeah it died a couple weeks ago and I was really pissed off! but it's back and now i'm very happy! yeah now that its bakc i have virtually nothing to talk about other than warped tour tickets are on sale and i love carmel mochas! with the chocolate sprinkles on top of the whipped cream. also in the time i've been gone i've learned to make no name brand scalloped potatoes, angel food cake, real whipped cream and garlic bread.and yeah i'm so proud. it's almost been a month since they shoved the needle into my belly.and i have nothing to talk about so when i do i'll post lol. ttfn
<3
I love this avatar!
Monday Feb 28th
mood-excited
songs-she's nubs-nofx, stand up-a static lullaby
Lyrics-take this blade to my wrist help me end wat makes you ugly
I got my fucking belly button pierced! I'm so fucking happy its sore as hell but its fuckign awesome.yeah my mom pulled me out fo math at ten am this morning to go get t pierced lol all my friends thought i was getting breces WRONG! adn i'm proud cuz i was convinced it was gonna hurt t\like a bitch and i was gonna scream or cry but it only really reeally oinched and i didnt cry or scream even though i was convinced i was going to.
well its that time again roll up the rim to win and i still cant drink coffee yet fuck by the time i can the damn things gonna be over and i found out that hot chocolate is shit i used to love it but now that i drink cofffee hot chocolate is bs.
well lets see i am totally fucked this week i have a rpject due thursday that i've done no research for and i have music lessons tomorow night so i'm gonna have to do the one night rush thing then the next night i have to rush to finish the atcivities for french but i think we have time tomorow to work on that. and then that's due frieday plus there's all the fucking algebra homework i've been getting plus i have to fill out that logg book for the book report and i haven't filled it out in over a month so yeah i'm fucking swamped.but i have a belly button peircing so meh i'm happy.
taste of chaos is comming up meh i'm still dissapointed that i cant go but my moms promised to make it up to me by taking me to something else so she better be getting tix for warped tour this year or then she'll owe me double. and honsetly as much as i love mcr the used senses fail astatic lullaby and underoath i'd much rather go to warped but that's just me. only cuz its warmer outdoors and there's more bands and plus if good charlotte and simple plan are playing then i get to trow things at them which would make my life so much better!
well i'm bored as hell and if i dont go do something else soon i'm gonna die of boredom so w/e
Rayne
mood-fuckin excited
song-shimmy shimmy quarter turn-hellogoodbye, and hmmm lets see razorblade kiss by him
lyrics-if i keep holding my breath i'm going to disappear
the fuckings key keeps getting fucking jammed GRRRRRRRRRR! well yesterday was my fucking birthday ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwe! but meh taryn and i had a sleepover had beer watched a really cruddy porn on tv and ate ice cream so w/e. but meh then we watched queen of the damned int he morning and then we went and made an appointment! but i cant tell any of my other friends why cuz its a surprise so tomorw morning my moms picking me up at 10 am juring math and i'm going and when i get back all my friends get to see the awesomeness. but if taryn tells she knows she's dead.
i cut myself yesterday fro fun i slashed my arm and it bled. and i got to watch it bleed so that rele brightened up my day watching myself bleed. I love blood and i love the taste pf human blood it's awesome. yeah i'm a vegetarian yet i love blood meh i dont give a fuck!
ahhhhh i was in alternative and they had a shirt that said nofx saved my sex life lol I want it just for the hell of getting plus i think nofx is awesome.
my moms int eh room so i gottea run
rayne
My birfday's tomorow whoopeeee NOT! it's feb the 25th today!
mood-tired
lol my mom told me she had something bad to tell me today. and said i might be very upset and shit and i started crying uc zi was sure she was gonna say i was adopted 9my worst fear even tho i sometimes wish i was) or that my parents were splitting, and as it turns out she wanted to tell me about the tickets. lol here i am sick on cough medicine cant tell the word good from the word green and i'm crying cuz i'm scared as gell and all it is is about fucking tickets.
well i'm tired as shit so yeah i'm stopping writing for today good bye!
Rayne
*yawns*the count down has begun 10 days until i can see a 14 a movie!and i could honestly care less! isn't that great i was sick monday went yesterday sick today o isn't life great. i have to go for a feild trip tomorow to some college and then pd day frieday! whoopi NOT!i've found myself watching gilmore girls alot i don't get it but w/e.
i'm not learning space by something corporate and slowdance-by senses fail on guitar so that's cool.i have a stupid french project comming up and i don't wanna do it and a book report due the day before my b-day which i also don't wanna do!i hvae a craving for junk food but ther's none in the house except for cheesys but i don't like them.
i'm just having a lazy pointless week where nothing really matters to me isn't that grand!I did however see the new mcr video for helena so that's cool. i think the videos cool watching the dead girl dance is amuzing!i figured out how to get into launch from my moms thing so now i can listen to the emo station, the ska station, and all theses others ones i cna't listen to on mine cuz i don't have fuckin launch plus! but the thing plays alot of stuff i don't listen to so hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.and nicoles teasing me cuz i have a bunch of avatars with guys kissing on the avatar page!then again i also tease her about being scared of oompa loompas so i guess it's only fair. But i think OOMPA LOOMPAS are cool!i want one!
well my dads gonna get mad if i don't get off the comp soon so bye!
rayne!
feb 9th 05
lyrics-like a bed of roses there's a dozen reasons in this gun-demolition lovers,you ripped my heart out,you tore my eyes out,now your gonna pay-187
i've never been so heart broken before. i feel like crying but whatever i'm over it. i guess i'm used to it by now.I've just got the song let it enfold you on repeat and the ending is helping me not tear something apart!so yeah since i have a shit lod of avatars i'm gonna put up an avatar page on the weekend and yeah i'm gonna have anew avatar everyday!I seriously would like to gouge my eyes out right now but that's because sunday marked a year since the time i tried to kill myself in class with random semi sharp objects and cuz puke fest is next monday but w/e i don't give a shit about much today!
:(:(:(:(:(hmmmmmmmmmm yeah wellmy mood sucks! anyways i don't have to do gym cuz of the fact that the kids in my grade are assholes so yeah w/e. anyways what was i gonna say. why is it almost every fucking song these days is a fucking love song. SHIT! my goal for lent was to not say the f word well that lasted long. now i need something new. but anyways every damn song theses days has something to do witgh love! grrrrrr i fricken hate it! like my imesh now that it;'s off repeat and on random keeps going to all the damn love songs.fuck snowbairdings tomorow and i have a book report and a french prject due friday two movies to watch beofre their due back and no will to do anything!
yeah well i'm happy sorta cuz MY MOMS GETTING TICKETS FOR THE LONDON SHOW! yes I'm so happy so i might get to see pretty much all my fave bands except for a couple on march 5th! :D so i have somethig to be happy about. and I'm learning to play space on guitar so thats pretty cool too!TAKE THIS BALDE TO MY WRIST HELP ME END WHAT MAKES U UGLY! i love that song. holy shit what the fuck happened to a static lullaby i was on their new sight and fuck the musics changed and what the hell happened to the band is it the same guys? did they lose some of the guys? but what happened. idn it's just the sound seems alot different and I'm not adjusting well by the end of the month it'll probably be finme!.................................................i'm gonna end up being that crazy cat lady who never married and has been alone her whole fucking life1 i know it......................................................i hate feburary it's a shitty month nothing ever good happens theirs fucking stupid valentines day aka puke fest, theres my fucking birthday aka satans day out. and bad shit always seems to happen the mad hater which burned down on my fuckin birthday. last year when i tried to kill myself and this year having my heart broken like a fucking twig without the asshole evr even knowing it.
well i gotta go i have all that stupoid shit to do so yeah!
Rayne
i've never been so dissapointed
i'm pissed, dissapointed, sad, and overall just feeling like shit right now. i'm so fcked there no fucking tix left for the fucking taste of chaos date in t.o, and my mom won't fucking taking me and taryn to the one in london cuz a its to far and b there's no g.a. so i have never been so pissed off in my whole entire life. this is the biggest let down ever she fucking promised me she'd get fucking tix before they sold out she fucking PROMISED!I was so excited I had my hopes built up only to find out she'd waited to long, and i honestly thinik it was on purpose cuz i know my dad hadn't wanted me to go. so now their saying shit like something better will come aong-bullshit how many times do all my fave fucking bands except for 2 go on tour together? not fucking often other than warped tour but this tour was pretty much like that just without the crap loads of shitty bands!and my dad was talking about trying to get me an i am canadian snowboard from his work-fuck i only snowwbaord 3 maybe four times a year big fucking deal like that's gonna do me any good plus it's not near as awesome as a fucking concert.
like this has ruined my week yeah it's bad enough yesterday i had a volleyball aimed at my head because i'm aloser and got hit square in the head but i got home to find out my mother procrastinated her way into ruining my life again. she does this with everything she's fucking out to ruin everything for me I know it!I wanna scream I HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!why the fuck couldn't she have just gone and got the fucking tickets instead of sitting on her ass and saying wait till payday and everytime payday came around nothing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!well there we go she flushed my dreams down the damn toilet again. she just can't stand to see me be happy for once everytime something good could possibly happen she shoots it all to hell!so fuck this i hate her. you know what i'm never doing anything for her she has to go somewhere wants me to come no fucking way. u think this is selfish well it's not after all the selfish things she's done this is nothing. so yeah w/e. well i gotta go the bitch keeps comming in the room so yeah w/e. I hate her so much
Rayne
jan 30? 05
song-I'm a fake-the used, down,set,go-underoath
lyrics-I'm so far gone now I been running on empty -the used
I went shopping today! taryn and I went and I almos tbought this sweet dickies mini skirt it was black, and had a pink stripe and if i'd gotten it it would have been the shortest skirt i've ever owned the sad thing was it was just too big which totally sucked. not to mention there was this amazing jacket and it was black and it was so classy it was almost like a dress jacket but holy shit it was 60 fucking dollars GRRRRRRR! but anyways taryn got the finch cd which i was so mad at her for but the cool thing is i got to burn a copy of it and her the used in love and death cd. so yeah i got a burned copy of those, and she got burned copies of my senses fail, my chemical romance, and the used (first cd) cd's.so yeah.
omg we went skating last night and there were these annoying bratty little kids who kept going are u a stoner, are u stoners just because of my fucking eye makeup the little assholes. but yeah w/e. lol taryn and I watched porn last night and ate ice cream it was so fucking retarded but meh. it proves girls actually do like porn lo. maybe not as much as guys but still w/e.
i'm listening to in love and death right now and I'm so fucking obsessed with all the songs but my 2 faves are I'm a fake, and Lunacy fringe. i especially love the spoken intro to i'm a fake. *sighs* well yeah shopping was fun today we went to this one store where i always forget the fucking name of it but its near the back of the city center, and they have the most amazing stuff they have plaid pants with criss cross straps, and they have ruby gloom stuff, and yeah it sucked cuz the fucking pants i wanted were fucking 99.99. i was so pissed off but meh.
they didn't have much at west 49 no good fucking t-shirts, and a fucking crappy selection of shoes. i wanted a pair of etnies but all the pairs they had sucked so much.they were so girly and one pair looked simillar to phat farms and i wanted to barf. but yeah it was really cruddy today. bootlegger was closed, blu notes had nice stuff but it was expensive (and my skirt was too big), and yeah all the stores pretty much sucked. ewe taryn dragged me into la sensa or however you spell it. i was like we're not going in there but she made me! and i felt like barfing!!!!!!!
TICKETMASTER"S CLOSED ON SUNDAY'S!!!!I was soo pissed about that because my mom was just about to buy the god dammit tickets like she went up to buy them and then she was told that ticketmaster was closed on sunday's i was so mad. i wanted to fucking scream! but hey atleast i know she's serious about getting the tix!
I got the new issue of ap today with senses fail and my chemical romance did so fuckign well in the readers poll i was so happy. yeah it sucked that i had to go all the way to brampton to get the damn magazine though :( one of the many down sides of living here in orangeville.
well i gotta go have a shower so buh byes.
:[Rayne:[
jan 26th 05
mood-happy
song-dead disco-metric,dope hat-marilyn manson
lyric-so deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me-the used
I'm so fucking happy! my hair is fucking straight without the help of a hair dresser i washed it fried it and flat ironed it and it WORKED! and also i'm very very very ahppy because all the oages except like 4 have MUSIC VIDEOS! and there's even a video of the month page!and I have the video for what it is to burn on one of them!!!
well today was grad photos and i'm hoping that mine will turn out ok cuz if not o crap. i'm not very photogenic and hate all my pics so after all the pain i went through of having that woman djust my head and crap they better be good.but i got out of french fpr them so YEAH!hmmmmmmmmmm..........i saw the new the used vid on tv today it was weird cuz i'd just finished putting the code for it on this page, and then the tv went silent and i was like i'd laugh if that vid came on because it's quiet at the beginning and sure enough it was! so i had a laugh before running like hell to go and watch it.
have you noticed every station plays that new greenday vid every half hour much loud does. i swear it's been on like 5 times tonight. within 3 hours!like I love greenday hate the new stuff off the american idiot album love the old stuff but god how many times must you play a video in one fucking nighgt.
NICOLE IF YOU EVER FIND YOURSELF ON THIS PAGE....go to the VOTM page the vid is dedicated to you watch the vid you'll know why!!!!!!
i sat out in gym today :D!:D!:D!:D!:D!:D! i hate gym and yeah i hate it even more. so yeah taryn who hit her head and fucked her ankle at recess sat out too. and so we were sitting there and so was tash cuz her shift wasn't on and thevolleyball comes and nails her in the face. i was right beside her and i heard it collide with her face. but anyways she all of a sudden burst out laughing. like she cried she was laughing so hard. and the funny thing was she saw him hit it and watched it come and collide with her face, and then turned her head after it hit her. but it was awesome.
hey have a mention how much I fuckeing love the song what it is to burnyet????well if not here's the time! I FUCKING LOVE WHAT IT IS TO BURN BY FINCH!There well now that i've got that out I can continue with my evening. ooooooooo the protest the hero vid is on i gtg bye!
RAYNE!
I got my internet so i'm happy holy shit life is boring with no computer. it really is.I've watched so much fucking mtv cuz i've had nothing to do these last couple weeks.well yup now i have my iternet back. well i've been practicing guitar a hell of a lot more i'm learning paint it black and heart shaped box and hopefully some something corporate soon cuz my teacher is getting some music for two of their songs so yeah i'm happy.
well i'd like to post more but my dad is gonna kill me if i don't get off the comp so w/e.
buh bye
Rayne =)
P.S listen to underoath
Holy shit I haven't posted in a while mainly cuz my computter is shit but w/e. reading through that last post i'm going how fucking tired was I. *sighs* well i'm bored out of my fucking mind. i can't believe it's back to school tomorow! well let's see christmas was nice I went up to my grandparents, I got a digital camera, a couple good cd's, the nightmare before christmas, beyond ocean avenue, and something corporate live at the ventura theatre. and then a bunch of other shit. like 50 dollars which i stupidly waisted and now I'm pissed off about it. yeah my buddy Taryn who signs the guestbook alot her and I wen shopping at the city center on wednesday and well we went into west 49 and I wanted to get a shirt so i did and with tax it was 40 dollars!!!!!!!!!!!!! i was so pissed, adn then later my ister comes by and gives both my brother and I 30 dollar gift certificates for west 49!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!GR i could have still had 40 dollars right now GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!! but w/e I still got 3 great cd's at HMV yeah my anutn and cousins got my a 25 dollar gift certificate for HMV and they had the 2for 25 deal. so i got thursday war all the time, and hawthorne hieghts the silence in black and white. and then taryn who is an angel got my tell all your friends as a christmas gift even though she didn't have to!
so yeah I'm glad the whole season over cuz that means no more jollyness. but yeah I am still kinda happy cuz on digital cable pretty much everychannel i want is on free preview. like much loud mtv2 xtreme mtv canada(VIVA LA BAM), and soo many others and so far i'm loving it! like on much loud I've seen so many amazing videos like taking back sunday roses are red crowned king yesterday i saw a good vid but i forget who it was by. and then on mtv2 i saw the video for i'm not ok i promise which i've seen a fucking dozen times on the comp but only 3 times on the tv so yeah i'm happy!
you know what's retarded on monday we were in owen sound (TACO BELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and we were at the mall there and in the music world they had a slought for senses fail but no cd, then at hmv in brampton (city center) they had a slought for senses fail but NO CD! then we went down to sunrise (city center) slought for senses fail and of course NO CD!i think it's retarded!
but w.e well i have to go have something to eat or I'm gonna pass out so bye.
Yes today is a differnt sort of day i;ve had a girl who i thought was my friend trash talk nicole who is like a sister to me and expect me to be fine with it. then earlier i had my self esteem crushed and ended up in a storm of suicidal thoughts but luckily for me the storm passed and then yeah the rest is just a figment of the past. that i must learn to forget about and move on with my life letting the burden slip from my shoulders.
once again i find myself listening to pillars cover of the u2 song sunday bloody sunday and i have found myself unable to shake the haunting feeling it leave with you. the lyrics stick and haunt you and hide in the back of your mind and then slowy creep through haunting you.
*sighs deeply* over the last little while i've found my self deep in thought like that's nothing strange just deeper in thought thinking about things through a different perspective like a different person same dress same taste in music just different. like i've never really thought so deeply about the lyrics to sunday bloody sunday but now as they linger in my mind i find myself in a trance almost as the song haunts me day and night. always finding some way to creep in. and as i was listening to last resort today i actually found my self looking much deeper into it like it has always been one of my suicide songs that i blare in my head phones when i am swept by a deep feeling of depression but today asi sat listening it seemed to have a much deeper meaning then it has ever had.
i seem to look a things differntly all of a sudden everything seeming to have a deeper meaning. maybe it's i'm growing up and maturing intellectualy or maybe it's that i'm waking up a part of me which has been asleep for 13 years is slowly wakening and I'm becoming more aware of things and my emotions have deepend. it's hard to explain but in my mind, in my heart i know exactly what it is it's just i can't seem to put it to words. but yeah there's certain songs or lyrics that haunt me and i cnnot shake them like from the song for the workforce drowing the line'the sillohette of ur own face becomes the black cloud of war, or from war all the time- listen to the lullaby of carbon monoxide, or even the full song slow dance by senses fail which for some reason to me has a deper meaning that what some may see. like through reading i've found apparently they're into hinduism and that's where their name came from so that might explain the whole consept of the song that may not be what i see it as but to me it has a deeper meaning maybe not the exact correct one but what i see when i look at those lyrics. i don't see it as them just talking about strings and glasses i see much deeper into it but that's just me. like i may be into lyrics full of bull shit and stuff but i'm nopt a total shit head. blame it on the fact i have religion blame it on the fact i am an opinionated person and i speak my mind and stand for what i belive is right or wrong or even the fact i read alot which expands my intellect but i'm not just some one who looks at one thing i look past that. which is what i do with people i give them a chane look past the exterior and at what kind of person they are their social characteristics and stuff like honestly i think it's dumb to judge someone by their exterior but i think it's better to judge them for what kind of person they are. like yeah they may be cool looking but for all you know they could be an asshole.
but yeah it's weird cuz i don't think i've ever thought like this before but meh that's just me and i'm messed up. so yeah that's about it for today :D
ttfn
the wedding party all colapsed in the room so send a resignation to the bride and the groom-mcr, or Nes Medicines should ease this pain their the only ailment for it all over again-dead poetic
yeah i went shopping with my dad today and we got my brother the jimmy eat world cd and the kiss greatest hits album i was trying to get my dad to buy him the billy talent dvd yet he wouldn't. anyways yeah like 15 minutes ago we got back from A&P which was a disaster we got there got the stuff we get up to the check out she's scanning the stuff my dad reaches for his wallet and OMG it wasn't there so he leaves me there with the groceries and runs home to go get the wallet grrrrrrrrrrrr.
on a happier note last night i got to listen to my favourite radio program 3SN or sweet sweet saturday night. and i got to hear the underoath song i really like down set go. and now i'm listening to christianrock.net which is awesome so far i've heard dead poetic relient k pillar's version of sunday bloody sunday and sanctus real's version of beautiful day and a couple others. like this ska bands version of jingle bells which was quite interesting.
SCORE!!!! my lil bro is gonna let me wear his hawk hoodie tomorow. cuz the changeroom cult we have special dress up days like friday was trackies and baggy shirts were tomorow is hoodies and pj bottoms so yeah since our school is weird and does holiday dress shit and tomorow is red day and my bros sweater is red so i'm happy!
i'm so excited cuz my mom might take me and a friend to the taste of chaos tour EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! the friend will probably be taryn betty or nicole taryn is top pick cuz she knows almost all of em then nicole then betty but god i'm so fucking happy and excited and EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
well i gtg for a shower to ttfn
yeah so today was incredibly LAME! i woke up at 11 something in the spare bedroom in the clothing i wore yesterday going what the hell? and then i rememberd watching a movie on the os2 int eh spare bedroom and yeah nothign else so it was like ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
well i went to this christmas thing tonight and it was kinda cool kinda weird. but meh the food was wicked so that made everything so much better food that the caterers made not potluck so all we had to do was show up and dig in.
well yeah nicole and i have been writing songs for the last two nights on msn and holy shit she is an amazing song writer now when i sy that it's not like complete surprise i did think she'd be able to write great songs but holy shit she's a fucking awesome song writer. but yeah i'm bored out of my fucking mind right now so yeah i'm just typing random bullshit. yeah the cd burner ate my disk earlier i got it back of course but it still was not funny the stupid piece of fucking shit!
well yeah I've got things to do so w/e bye
december 10th scream and hug someone day!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yeah i'm so excited i might be going to the TASTE OF CHAOS TOUR. it's making a stop in toronto march thrid and my mom might take me. yeah bands like my chemical romance, the used, a static lullaby underoath and senses fail are playing. i'm so psyched!
holy shit i just about died there (litteraly i think) i started coughing and i accidentaly closed my mouth and i felt all the air being sucked from my lungs and it was really weird cuz i couldn't breathe.
i went public skating with a bunch of friends tonight it was fun................until they tried to lock my outside of the arena cuz it was a one sided door(the ones where u can exit but you can't enter) but luckiyl i outsmarted them and well i made it in before they had a chance to lock me out.
omg my lil bro is so friken lucky he's getting almost round three zero dying to live and viva la bam for christmas I'm sooooooooooo jealous but apparently my mom got me some pretty cool stuff aswell. I watched the secret skatepark tour this evening when i got home for like the thousandth time. seriously i've seen/rented that movie so much it's not funny. but w/e then again i'v ealso rented ginger snaps a heck of a lot of times and same with the movie grind.*snickers at the thought of the gay guy with the squirlle in grinD*
we spent the whole day drawing colouring cuting and pasting today seriouslt we had like 2 periods that weren't french and current events the rest was working on our christmas story books. yeha nicole's and mine is almost done but we just need to add a few extra things and get velcro. and then we're ready oh and we have to get the book to hold together and type up the print but then we're done.
omg i hate stupid people like on this one chat nicole and i were making fun of avril and gc and this girl posts omg i love gc u have no right to say that u two just suck grrr. and then she's like just keep your opinions to yourself. i was like what the hell stupd hypocrite you say keep ur opinions to urself but then say ur opinion. fuck i hate people like that.and i know i can be like that sometimes but i already hate myself so no biggy.
YEAH nicole signed the guestbook holy crap 8 years now wow how the years go by. yeha i've been friend with her for 8 years. that's so weird i can't believe it's been 8 fricken years wow that's really creppy right now mainly cuz i'm tired.well yeah i'm gonna go now goodbye.
Me
december the 9th tomorow is scream and hug someone day 9where you run up to someone screaming and give em a hug) u better participate.
mood-meh
Yeah girls changeroom cult. lol well we had out christmas thing with the grade 1's and 2's today and well after me and a couple friends all hung out till it was just a couple staff left and well we were in the changeroom and we decided as a joke we'd all wear trackies and big shirts tomorow so we all made a pinky promise circle and we started like dancing around or something and i was like'girls changeroom cult' so yeah it's a huge insider but now we all have nicknames for our'cult'.
yeah well my lil bro is an angel he got me 3 cheers for sweet revenge for christmas:D i'm soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo excited.ok yeah i can't wait till christmas now :D omg nicole and i we're working on anightmare before christmas picture book for class and it's so friken awesome so far. i also can't wait till spring cuz my super awesome lol bro is gonna teach me how to skateboard cuz i have a board but last summer he never ended up teaching me :( but now my lil bro is :D god i love my lil bro.
fuck i'm tired again but i don;t care cuz i'm listening to atreyu this flesh a tomb which i'm friken in love with right now. i love this song so much.it's a love song in a way but with screaming loud guitars and loud drums not to mention it almost has a death like theme to it. kinda like razorblade kiss, and join me by him how they both are love songs but they also have that death theme to them aswell not to mention they're all wicked songs.
holy crap highschool nex year god i'm scared of being nined or getting stuffed in a locker or something. i'm such a loser but i love it u know what if i get nined i'll be like yeah i got nined just so it'll be like fuck u buddy it dosen't bug me :D.
sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...........................god you know ur tired when.........lol seriously tonight was wicked and yeah on the way back i got a ride from brooke's dad and as we we're leaving dirty deads comes on so i'm sitting in the back singing along yeah it was awesome. other than the fact i was wearing a skirt and i had to wear pantyhose *barfs* and i had to wear fancy shoes that hurt my feet.i wanted to wear my converse but my mom was like young lady you are not wearing those shoes or else and yeah last time or else came up it meant no warped tour so yeah i try and avoid disobeying the or else.
yeah so i have a fair bit of updating to do on the site cuz of change in tastes so yeah til tomorow bye!oh yeah i'm going public skate tomorow after i get my roots died cuz i have blonde roots comming in so till saturday hopefully.
wednesday the somethingth of december
moodTIRED
lyrics-dear diary my teen angst bullsh*t has a body count-from first to last and if this is what you want then fire at will
god i'm tired as hell and i'm only posting cuz i haven't in a while. yeah my music intrests have expanded int eh last while and i've discoverd some wicked new bands :D. yeah well we have this story book project and we're doing the nightmare before christmas and i can't think of anything to talk about so yeah i'm gonna call it a night god i need more sleep bye.
luvya
Rayne ginger w/e.
wednesday 1 more day till i get drunk! november the 24th 04
song-i never told you what i do for a living-mcr, and hysteria by muse
lyrics-take this oink ribbon off my eyes i'm exposed and it's no big surprise-no doubt, and my hands around your throat and i think i hate you-soty
YEAH I"M GETTING DRUNK TOMOROW....maybe that's if we still go but yup let's hope. yeah i'm also so very happy because i'm getting my scanner hooked up soon why am i ahppy well i draw alot and since early august i've had an art page on the site but me actualy adding my artwork has been delayed cuz of the fucking scanner not being hooked up. plus i have two t-shirt designs i wanna get scanned. on being a hand holding a heart(one with veins and arteries) saying happy valentines and the other being a razor blade and around it it says your love is a razorblade kiss (fave lyrics in a him song) so yes i'm very excited about that. cuz i drew all summer so i'd have shit to put on the art page yet the scanner has delayed everything so this is great for the art page, and for the production of the two t-shirt designs. yeah so w/e. yeah i've sold out and gotten a diaryland account i'm gonna add a link to it. i mainly got it cuz this one site has amazing layouts but or the stupid diaryland accounts but yeah w/e.
*yawns* today sucked excluding the scanner thing but tomorow shall be great but word is someone ratted on the two of my friends who got drunk last week so let's hope not. and when i find out who did it they shall pay dearly because i wanna get drunk grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. meh i'll just get drunk next wednesday when my rents are at bible study cuz we have labatt in the house. CHEERS! yeah i'm getting drunk i'm getting drunk i;m getting drunk *cheers yeeeeha!* well hopefully i'm getting drunk.
I'm almost done interview with a vampire which is awesome cuz when i'm finished that i get to move on to the vampire lestat which i might be doing for an idependant novel study. but yeah. OMG did you know the cure kicks ass i do. you know why i know that be cuz they really do kick ass. i love the song boys don't cry it's toooo fucking awesome.
hey what's wrong with emo????? i need that question answerd cuz like dashboard confessional type emo SUCKS cuz their just like omg my girl friend left me omg i'm so hopeless she's the only girl who's ever liked me omg life is over cuz of this omg i have to go die now. now that emo sucks sooo much. but in my mind there's 2 kinds of emo dashboard confessional type emo and then good emo. so what is wrong with good emo seriously what is wrong with it. i think it's awesome and most of the time emo guys are super cute and perfect i mean it cuz emo guys have emotions have intellect are usualy poetic and kick ass cuz they have good taste in music but that's MOST emo guys or atleast my idea of what and emo guy is considering there are NONE in orangeville. there's nothing in orangeville no good punk scene no good goth scene no good emo scene everyone here is either preppy preppy or preppy and then there's few like me the outcasts oh and i forgot one group the good charlotte and simple plan and avril loving posers who think that good charlotte are the god fathers of punk *gags self then goes and chases little good charlotte freaks with knives* ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR it pisses me off how lame orangeville is. fuck i'm moving somewhere else i dunno ajax to go live with my grandma they have a good scene apparently cuz i saw a bunch of people with t-shirts with good band names and mohawks at the taco bell there. THEY HAVE A TACO BELL YES now i'm really moving there they have a fucking tacoe bell naw i would go there if i could fuck i'd go anywhere with a scene better than orangevilles!
well my comp is being a piece o shit so i'm gonna go add that one link then go do something else bye
luv ya
monday the 22 of november 04
song-me and the moon-something corporate i wanna hear you sad-the early november, and boys don't cry-the cure,
lyrics-thursday i don't care about you it's friday i'm in love-the cure and i want to hate you half as much as as i hate myself-fall out boy
Yeah i went home with my buddy for lunch and yeah before we went back to school we each took two huge swigs of bacardi fuck that stuff burns like hell. i swear that shit is like fucking liquid fire. yeah I might be getting drunk on thursday yeeeha! yeah hopefullly we'll have a supply or be watching a video or something in the afternoon cuz ms sals will kill me if i fall asleep. cuz that's what t did last thursday. ok we have current events histpry and then.........................um.....science i think. yup that's it. I can't wait though. i'm such a retard
yeah i've decided to start getting into more emo music except for dashboard confessional they make me wanna gag my self or go beat them with sticks cuz their so fucking pathetic. but yeah i'm pretty much a reatrd and i have no clu why i just said that which proves my point. yeah but right now i'm really obsessed with the songs me and the moon by something corporate and fall out boy and it seems my 2 fave songs change weekly. anyways i'm so fucking pisssed because the store that usualy gets ap in hasn't yet this month and mcr is on the cover this month so if they stop getting it i'm gonna go fucking apeshit on all of them.
my throat hurts like hell now i swear that shit burns. i took a sip at first it's fine then suddenly it's like holy fuck that shit bruns. and i had such a fucking head ache at school i swear it killed and then i felt like i was gonna barf. it's not fucking cool i didn't even get drunk and i got hanngover symptoms.
I love atreyu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yeah that was random now wasn't it. but it's true atreyu are amazing their like fucking gods in their own rights i swear. seriously for a while i referd to them as the vampire band when talking to a friend about them then she ended up borrowing the cd for a month and now she's knows them as atreyu!
my toe hurts like fucking hell it really does. like the bottom half of my toenail is gone and the top half is but is about to peel off completely and yeah on what little is left of the bottom half is dried blood so yeah it's pretty fucked up.
ahhhhhhhhhhhhh i saw fight club i loved it except for when i found out that ed norton and brad pitt were the same guy that confused the shit out of me and made no sense at all so yeah other than that weird little bit that made up most of the movie it was awesome.
you know what wouldbe cool if there was a fight club in orangeville that would be awesome. the first rule of fight club is you do not talk about fight club. the second rule of fight club is you do not talk ab club. the third rule of fight club is............................................. ok well that is one of two movies where i don't mind brad pitt. seriously i think he is an ugly person and i don't treally like his acting BUT in fight club and in interview with a vampire he's an awesome actor other than that uh nope i do not like him one bit.
I saw the new taking back sunday video today on my cmp I LOVE IT! I know you know everything i know you didn't mean it i know you didn't mean it......ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh it's so awesome not to mention adam lazzara doesn't look like a scuzz ball in it. fuck if onl;y he'd stayed the way he was in the cute without the e video now that would have been awesome cuz fuck adam lazzara was hot in the cute without the e video but then he grew his hait much too long stopped cleaning it and then stoped shaving his face so yeah it a shame. but i love the video eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
ORANGEVILLE SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it really does it's ok in some ways but in everything else it is shit a fucking shitty place to live fuck i ahte it here yet i like it here fuck i'm screwd up. fuck you know what fuck this i need a time out to calm down.
bye
luv ya
friday nov 19 04
mood-meh
HELLO> yeah my friend she went home for lunch and her and my other friend got drunk it was to funny.imagine 2 13 year olds in calss totally shitfaced. it was to funny my one friend passed out in history for like 10 minutes luckily we were watching some video and taking notes so only the people who knew she was plasterd knew she'd passed out.
so next week i'm gonna go with them and get plasterd not as plasterd but yeah you get the point hence the ints at drunkness in the lyrics and song.but yeah i got a nerw beanie tonight. cuz i had this rele cool black one with red stripes but i lost it last weekedn so i went to mogeuls today and got a black volcom one and it's black with volcom in with letters, and the it's reversible and the other side it white with a boutlined black heart with veins and arteries and shit it's awesome. for those of us who don't know what beanie means it's a fucking touque.
yes anyways i'm a shit had and i don't know why. fuck i really need coffee ok i don't need it but fuck i really want cofffeeeee. GIMMMIE COFFFEEE heh heh i like anything with sufar of caffiene in it. like chocolate coffeee capacinos pop chocolate cofffffeeeeeeeeeeeee sugar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yes i'm normaly timid and shy and very withdrawn dark and death obsessed get enough sugar in me and heh heh i'm a wholllllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee different perrson. fuck i'm like shaking i'm going through caffiene withdrawl. brb.
7 minutes later
THEY HID THE SWEETNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !_! o_0 NOT FAIR. i had to put a perfectly good cup of coffee to rest because there was no sweetner. s milk but no sweetner. i only drink cofeee double milk 2 sweetner or double mlik three sweetner.so i had to settle witha coke.
my brother went to the dege tonight which gave me some relaxation time. yeah it was his b-day yesterday ah lil gerald the thing i call my brother. i'd like to kill hims sometimes stabb him to dateth and other times i'd like to smother him with hugs cuz he's the cutest lil bro EVER!i hate this key board they took something of it so now it woblles and makes funny noises when you type and it pisses me off fuckign thing grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
so yeah i almost pissed my sekf in math today my friend is righting this messed up 'horny story' and she pout one of the guys in class in it cuz he's a toal perv. and so the table i was at were all talking about it and when he was reading he read it aloud and it was toooo funny.LOL srry since i got the volcom hat my friend (she's on msn) was just like ur so shekler bosessed u got a volcom hat, and i was like no i like volcom ok if he wore a tutu i wouln't go out and buy one just cuz he did and she's like that would be funny i'd love him if he did. so yeah typical t for yeah.
anyways yeah i'm bored bye]
tuesday the 16th
lyrics-listen to the lullaby of carbon monoxide-thursday,he is the lamb she is the slaughter-brand new
Yeah alysha moved today to new bruinswick it sucks so much. honestly it was so weird at school today. *sighs* it sucks that she had to move. well yeah the current time war all the time, and give it all ar my fave songs i love tham and can't get them off repeat. yes i had guitar tonight and sat and read interview with a vampire before my lesson.so now i'm working on the middle by jimmy eat world. and i didn't have voice cuz my mom took my lesson and i'm taking hers on thursday in grnad valley. *sighs* my grandmas comming up tomor0w she's great and all but she smokes.....alot!
hmmmm let's see i trpped and feel on my brother today messed up i know. i turned back to lookat something turned around tripped and took my lil bro who was infront of emw ith me. then i just about got hit by a bus, cuz the driever was a stupid bitch. yeah we waited for the one bus to go then we were halfway through crossing and this woman comes plowing through and nearly hit us so yeah it goes to show how muhc of fucking retards people are these days.
i also found out my 8 year old brother who will be nine on thursday is almost a bigger pyromaniac than i ma. het yet though he hasn't set his hair or the carpet on fire yet. yeah i accitdentaly set my bangs on fire last year, and i also set a tissue on fire and dropped it on the carpet so now theres a burn mark on the carpet. so yeah once he tops that which i hope to god he dosen't cuz he'll burn the whole fuckin house dow then he'll be a bigger pyromaniac than me.
god dammit i want a lighter the only ones in my house are big ass barabecue lighters and after my parents stopped smoking well there went the lighters.
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm fuck as usual i'm so fucking bored.wellllllllllllllllllllllllllllll let's see i'm currently passsing french with my franch marks in the 80's which i;m very surprised by cuz i got 60's last year i have a math test tomorow as well as gym science which i'm probably failing and i dunno current evernts and a whole bunch o shit i really could care less about. fcuk fuck fuck the stupid fucking fucking song won't fucking download FUCK!
i'm listening to rise against......again. yeah i got the new issue of thrasher on the weekend and there's a couple pictures of sheckler getting picked on which is too funny like in one they've got him folded up in the bed and in a nother it appears there hitting him with his arm. lol this girl in my class her cousin's chris haslam and fuck the picture of him in that magazine is tooo fucking funny honestly. he's a fucking awesome skater though like at the canadaian open he snapped the wheel right off his deck doing one trick and then did another trick without or something i don't remember i just remember he snapped the wheel right of the thing.
listen to the lullaby of carbon monoxide i love that lyric it's too awesome. i like alot of lyrics like last night i sat there listening to my lastest burned cd mix and sat there and listened to a song till it hit my fave lyric then changed it. seriously i sat there and listened s till it hit the best lyrics as well as a couple mcr songs and tbs songs. and pretty much the rest of the album excluding the crimson timberwolves at new jersey the jetset life is gonna kill, and a few others mainly my very fave songs though.and then halfway throught the batteries died so i was very dissapointed. GRRRRRR!
FUCKING STUPID viagra pop ups i'm gonna break the fucking comp in a second i x out of one and a mknute later another one pops up. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! last time a checked only sex addicts, perverts, and porn stars would actually care about pop ups like that ok and maybe unics. but that's about it. so fuck i'm gonna beat it with a stick
i started a nother vampire story on the weekend fuck i'm obsessed with anything and everything dark. it's so retarded i love vampires most though. i have some weird obsession with vampires my favourites being dracula, and *sighs* Lestat. lestat is awesome like veryone is always like well louis rocks and oh louis is the best and it's like FUCK NO! it's lestat louis is a fucking wimp shit he should have just chosen death instead of living for eternity being a pussy.
I live in shitsville ontario seriosuly the town i live in is the center of hell.just much much colder than hell. when hell freezes over it will look like orangeville. i swear it will i hate this town so much. it's like date rape and petafile central. my mother works on the sexual assualt team and god she gets called in so much or gets called for advse cuz someone got raped or someone got blah blah balh.FUCK!
honestly i'm going to get out of orangeville whenever possible.like deep down inside i love it because it's my home town but yeah i have to stop typing cuz my FUCKING MOTHER is nagging me again FUCVK she never shiuts up. anywaysyeah.
luv ya
>
friday the 12
song-afi silver and cold & fall out boy-tell him he just made my list
lyrics-Die young and save yourself-brand new, and god help me i'm so tired but in my dreams the wolves they eat my soul god help me i'm so frieghtened but in my dreams the wolves tear out my heart
i'm really deep in thought now i love afi and i ah en't heard the song silver and cold in a while so now hearing ti i'm filled with memories that leaves me with this odd feeling of joy and sorrow some how mixed together.its weird.
I'm listening to everythign about you by sanctus real it's a good song.yes tomorow is 3sn on the radio station 100.3 3sn standing for sweet sweet saturday nigth and that's when they pull out the good stuff liek demon hunter 12 stones pod pillar norma jean that sorta stuff.
shit i was listening to in this diary by the ataris the other week fuck was it weird cuz that was my summer anthem for the summer of 03 and it was to weird hearing it again. UNTIL THE DAY I DIE I"LL SPILL MY HEART 4 YOU! lol that was weird.I luvvvvvv the song though i think it kick a** oh fuck it it kicks ASS!
hmmm i'm really bored again wow i'm now an er fan all cuz of csi cuz on thursdays er is after csi and well ers a rele good show.
fuck fuck fuck my comp is a fucking piece of shit! the video for silver and cold just finished downloading and the pop up saying this download has finished open file close blah blah blah came up and now the fucking thing is frozen just that not the rest of the comp so it's blocking everything grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!@fucking piece of SHIT!
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR FUCKING SHITY PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ha i showed the fucking piece of shit who's boss and now everything works peachy!crap the video for silver and cold is very weird like their rushing to save him yet they get blown up and he could care less w/e. anyways shit why does every think that davey havok is hot i realy don't get it i meant it i think he's an amazing singer and all and it's wicked he's vegan but dude he's got longer hair than me and well he looks very feminin. but that's all i'm gonna say i'm not being a ahter like he rocks but he's not hot i'm sorry he's just not.
omg i'm listening to a shitty too fast missing lyrics live version of until the day i die i think it's a cover band but w/e. i bet it's a demo lol demos usualy suck excluding a static lullaby's cuz i love their demo for the shooting star that destroyued us all fuck that was a story of the year demo the lyrics were all missing and their were added ones plus it was way to fast.
hey the a static lullaby demo just started playing i love this song!*yawns* hey look is now saturday fuck i've just spent a half an hour downloading music and typing.it's really cold right now i want a sweater. you know what fuck this i'm gonna get a sweater maybe i can find g-mans hawk sweater cuz he's at a sleepover tonight yes!
5 minutes later
shit it's wet cuz it's in the was shit shit shit so now i'm sitting here in my mom's ona sweater that's way to big for me so i look really stupid but then again i always look stupid :D
hey i found the album version of until the day i die YES!i die too!i like this ong :D ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwe i keep smiling today it bugs me. omg i did the laundry i did the dishes and a baked cookies today ewwwwwwwwwwwwe i feel responsible i have to go throw something at a wall or something so i can get rid of the feeling.
yup i almost barfed today ain't it grand :D *rolls eyes*.
awwwwwwwwwwwe my stupid cat is playing fetch by himself he's got the little mouse and he picks it up with his mouth then tosses it then goes and gets it then tosses it it's actually very amusing.
well i'm tired bye
luv ya
thursday nov 11 it's remembrance day wait no its friday just after midnight
lyrics-There isn't anything wrong with giving up And for what it's worth I STILL HATE YOU-funeral fro a friend, and I'll bite, chew, swallow, and digest the hands that feed me With a bayonet for a tongue Swallow swords inadvertently- from autumn to ashes
hello! well i'm bored as can be and it feels like my ribs are colapsing and crushing my lungs it's quiet akward.
yes tomorow ok more like today is a no school day and i'm very happy about it too.*sighs* yes i've been listening to ALOT of music lately and been watching the nightmare before christmas alot as well. fuck i'm so bored it's not funny. yes my mom and i talked about santaria, the ocult, and new orleans on the way home from the grocerystore tonight it was very weird. i dunno we started talking about serpent and the rainbow and yeah ended up talking about new orleans and the ocult.
ok this kid in my class is a fucking moron ok he's in the 8th grade but he's supposed to be in the 9th but he failed one so anyways thisis what he did. he failed to finish an assignment we had tons of time to do then when the teacher said ok ur staying after school he went no i have basketball and she tried to explain to him that if he didn't get work doent here was no basketball but he just kept talking back and then finaly he said w/e and gave the teacher the finger. HOW FUCKING STUPID ARE YOU! come on it's fucking grade 8 you asshole but anyways he got suspended and yeah he's a fucking moron.
I need coffee i don't have enough caffiene flowing through my vains i think i'm gonna die in a second fuck :[ GIMMIE COFFEE!
fuck i need food period i haven't had anything to eat since dinner and that was god knows how long ago but anyways if i don't get food soon i'm going to spontaneously combust so yeah.
5 minutes later
yes i now have a spoon and the peanut butter jar. yes i'm very fucked up i can just sit and eat from the peanut butter jar with a spoon god i love peanut butter. anyways i went to get the jar and i almost grabbed the peabutter blech! that stuff tastes like shit. i swear my brother takes peabutter and jelly sandwiches to school and so i had to make him one one time and i forgot it was peabutter and i had a spoon full and i swear i almost barfed it seriously tastes like shit. i'm sorry but peas will never taste like fucking peanut butter grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.I'm picky but i have every right to be. holy crap though it was the most disgusting thing ever. other than chilli that stuff makes me barf seriosuly everytime i've ever had chilli i've barfed later not to mention it tastes and smells like shit to begin with.
is u could slit my throat and with my one last gasping breathe i'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt!lol i love that song it was back in the day when adam lazzara still shaved showered more than once every two months and got hair cuts. he's still cute now and all and tbs still rocks but god he was so much better looking before like compare him in the cute without the e video to him in the decade under the influence video it's disgusting the change. but yeah w/e.
hey look a squirle....ok yes i say that randomly on a regular basis now aren't i so fucked up in the head.ahhhhhhh last night i found out that coheed and cambria scare the shit out of me. no seriously the dude sounds like a fucking girl like it's worse than the beegee's. like i swear i thought i was gonna have nightmares. but it was seriously scary. no to mention the one guy has like super fro. it's just retarded ok.
fuck i have to go put the peanut butter away cuz the smell is starting to make me sick cuz i've sat here for like 5 minutes eating peanut butter. why do i keep this journal thing anyways. i don't know it's mainly to talk about random shit get things off my chest and well to try and lose the habbit of talking to my self cuz i even creep myself out when i do.
anyways i'm bored and this isn't helping so bye.
luv ya
tuesday nov 9th?
i feel there's something in the wind..........i watched that movie with g-man (my lil bro) last night and i swear jhe was quiet through th ewhole thing and he's like chatterbox so it was amazing that he was quiet. but yeah i just sat there singing along with the songs and yeah i was very into the movie well it is my fave movie other than ginger snaps.
It's so hard to see when your eyes are rollin in the back of your head FUCK it happened again ok on sunday i started to type that line down and then song just came on as i was doing it and now once again it's happened. yeah i love the song tho sooo much if you can;t tell (since at the top it should say gutted like a pig all you want is the world to bleed someone somewhere stole your desire the pain..........) yeah i love atreyu enough said.
my neighbour on the one side who's a year younger than me and a couple years older than my bropther was being a shit head saying he got lessons from travis barker then when my brother argued started beating on my brother. I of course thought they were walking till suddenly my bro runs up to nicole and i crying saying he's getting beat up by my neighbour fuck did i ever want to kill him (not my brother the asshole) like i swear if he hadn't have run i would have harmed him. he he anyone who's ever been kicked by me knows it pretty much hurts ok there's the odd person who it hasn't hurt but......... yeah i kick hard.
best friends means i pulled best friends mean you get what you diserved...........i love this song two man i'm really fucked up.YEAH!!!! i found sally's song on imesh and kidnapping sandy claws, and the town meeting and all the other songs i love jack lament though it's so cute.awwwwwwwwe fuck it i just love the movie and all the amazing songs.
yeah so now my lil bro knows how wicked of a drummer and singer the one guy from atreyu is I sat him down and made him listen to a bunch of atreyu songs.OMG i'm so proud he know the chorus to bleeding mascara and at the video store the other day he just started singing i'm not ok i promise god i almost died i was so excited.
god i'm so bored damn how many times do i say that per month god i lost count. man i'm hyper anyways i can't be on the comp for long so yeah i have things to do i i have no clue what they are man i'm fucked up. anyways yeah i have to say a couple pics to put on my comnp upstairs.
ah ha i just thought about a convo my friend nicole and i had at school today we were talking about how last year in spet i'd had this huge crush on this dude and i had the crush for like 3 months and i was like yeah he stole threee fucking years of my life and i can't get them back and then i'm like fucking good charlotte stole a whole fucking year of my life and I can't get it back. speaking of them i had a dream that my mom and her friend lyda went to one of their concerts i was ,like what the helll. ok to explain during the year they stole from me i went to one of their concerts with lynda and my mom so yeah but still they gone to another one together in my dream an dit was like right then.
damn i'm hyper *giggles then splaps self for being 'girly girl-ish'* i can be harx to slap yourself but when you do fucki it hurts. well i'm gonna stop talking about stupid stuff now and go get those pics on a disc buh-byes.
sunday november something
song-razorblade kis-HIM, We Fall We Fall-dead celebrity status
lyrics-Best friends means I pulled the trigger Best friends means you get what you deserve-taking back sunday, Standing on the edge of the palisades cliffs In the shadow of the skyline very far away A lightning rod that couldn’t pull the storm from me I was 5 years old my best friends older brother died He fell from these cliffs The river washed him away the current pulled him downstream And our lives float in the headlines, so we parked these cars Parent’s garage Listen to the lullaby Of Carbon Monoxide-Thursday
hmmmmm another boring day. yeah listening to him, thursday, tbs, mcr, and a couple others, and doing research on events leading to the birth of canada. yeah my comp is a fucking piece of shit sometimesi swear. like earlier it was being a fucking demon and i was ready to throw something at it but now it's better.
yeah i really like that taking back sunday song there's no i in team it's interesting,and those lyrics from the song war all the time i find them haunting like they cling in the back of your mind and then they just kind of stay there. yeah it's weird.
anyways i'm talking to laura right now and we're talking about churls and squipmunks whihc is a huge insider from her cottage but still makes me laugh.
grrrr my parents who had pork at dinner made fun of me and kept naming pigs and then they found that one that does bug me piglette i dunno but piglette is so adorable.
anyways i have the most awesome background on my comp for my thing (we have xp) it's the guy from him and its a close up on his face, and his has a razorblade between his lips and the razorblade has a heart on it.if ur a him fan you'd get it because of the song razorblade kiss an dif ur not a him fan u wouldn't get it and well you suck.
yeah fuck i want the mcr cd but no where in town fucking sells it its fucking pissing me off. plus i rarelyt ever go shopping out of town and when i do it's in wiarton where they really don't have it. i love wiarton though. ANYWAYS yeah i'm starting to get fucking pissed of and yeah now my atreyu cd skips which really makes me even more pissed since it's on of my fave fucking cds not to mention i can't get any fucking cd's till christmas which is like 2 fucking months away and i haven't gotten a fucking cd since what september and yeah I NEED MUSIC!
*takes deep breathe* ok i'm better now :D i just needed to get that out i feel much better now. *sings "your love is a razorblade kiss"* i love this song. damn it i love the band him they kick ass. so fuck all the him haters.*slpas self* i didn't used to like them i used to think they sucked but now i've changed and grown up (a bit not much).
shit ok when i lost the internet i started this story and i got really hooked and now that i have the internet back i spend more time on this comp then the one in my room with the story. fuck i neeed to learn to balance out these things. god dammit i'm a shit head.
well yeah *sighs* alysha's moving which is sad and really really sucks. and i told her if she dosen't come and visit i will go to new bruinswick and beat her with a stick. yeah i wouldn't really but it sucks that she's moving.
whoa i just got the chills i'm listening to we fall we fall and i dunno but those little girls have weird high pitch voices and yeah it's kinda creepy in it's own little way. fuck i ahte clowns lol that was random then again i have a short attentions pan i get bored easily thats why i've never finished one of my millions of stories cuz i get bored of them and then never finish them. i got really close with maybe two and no maybe three andthen got bored see aren't I a shit head. like with one i was at like page 150, and then with another i was at like page 60 or something and then i got bored and was like hey there's a squirle hey you know what would be a cool topic for a story... and yeah it was all down hill from there.
fuck i'm bored. I NEVER HAVE ANYTHIBNG TO TALK ABOUT. mainly cuz all i do is sit at home all the time and do nothing. fuck you know that song by that band....one second... oh yeah simple plan i'm just a kid that kinda describes me in a way as much as i hate to relate to a simple plan song. yeah i'm gonna go beat them with forks cuz they keep writing fuckign songs i can relate to but the SUCK! so it ticks me off. but yeah it describes me i have friends but i'm always the one left out and shit and then the next day or on monday i get to hear about how much of a fuckign awesome time they had. that happened this summer i went back to school and hear how much fun they all had over the summer and it was lime yeah i sat at home and did nothing and yeah i learned how to make wweb graphics cuz well i had nothing else to do. seriously that was my fucking summer.
best friends means i pulled the trigger best friends means you get what you diserve. hmmmm it's odd how that song goes from one thing to another goes fromlove to hate i like those songs. hate can be a good thing same with death and shit. fuck i've spent so much time alone and by myself i've withdrawn myself from the world and developed fasinations with things like death. like people wonder why i'm withdrawn have bad social skills and why i'm terminaly shy/ it's cuz i've been so withdrawn from everything and so alone that i don't know how to deal with this shit and i only know how to deal with myself. i've even become a bit paranoid. like i'm almost afraid to do things now for stupid reasons like i'm afraid to order pizza cause i might get the order wrong or i might get the number wrong. like i'm scare to even phone peopel to thank them for stuff because i'm afraid of what might happen plus i'm shy and not good with people.
but yeah because of the fact i spend so much time alone and like i never go out and hang with friends and shit like that i'm just digging my grave deeper. fuck i've only just taken notice to this. like i am the only person i really know. shit this explains alot it's also very saddening and shows how pathetic i really am. and the really pathetic part is i'm scared to do anything.like i've dugg the hole so deep that i'm scared to come out.
well anyways yeah i'm really creeping myself out well i gotta go my dad's telling me to get off the comp
bye luv ya
Ginger
It's so hard to see when your eyes are rollin in the back of your head it's even harder to speak when everything you say just comes out wrong (holy shit as i started typing the lyric that song came on)
Song-right here in my arms-Him, and war all the time-thursday
Lyrics-I've been poking a voodoo doll that you do not know I made For you, of you, let's see what needles do-Hot Hot Heat, and Won't you die tonight for love baby join me in death
What's up I am back. yeah my internet went poof for a couple weeks and well i couldn't update. fuck did you know its Gerard i thought it was Gerad shit i feel like i totalt dumbass. If you don't know what i'm talking about I mean MCR! FUCK i cannot read and yeah this is very up setting.
I am now officialy a HIM fan I used to think they kinda sucked but now I like them.Yeah it's amazing what a couple of songs can do.
it was Alysha's going away party tonight we had a couple tears then went out for dinner, and then we headed off to Jen's house wehre we partied. Yes listening to stuff like HIM, and rocky horror punk rock show. and of course taking really werid pictures with jens digital camera. she's gonna e-mail them to everyone so I should have them up on the photo page withing the next month be warned they are really messed up like we had a lot of sugar. anyways yeah it was really fun then tasha jumped in the one room hit the light fixture broke it and cut herself.
yeah i'm realy bored and kinda pissed off cuz i have a reading problem grrrrrrrrrrr it's gerard not gerad grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I'm such a fucking idioit grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! anyways it's good to be back.
I'm so pissed off that bush won seriosuly that really ticks me off. i was ready to scream they're both fucking idiots but i'd rather see Kerry president than that retard bush.
yeah so i saw the grudge the weekend it came out and at certain points just about fucking pissed myself...laughing. dear god that movie was so funny like the little dude with the cat damn that kid was funny. seriously i laughed all through out the movie.
yeah this week I'm gonna go out and buy the next issue of Ap and when i do I will have this years FULL SET. seriously I have all of them from january's gc issue to novembers the used issue once i get this next one with mcr on it i will have the full set. :D
well i have to go restart my computer bye!
luv ya
ginger
oct 20
lyrics-So here I am it's in my hands and......-the taste of ink by the used
yeah for the second week in a row i've actually been interested in that show much takeover. like last week they played cute without the e and then this week they paly I'm not ok (i promise) and show clips of the taste of ink and also play santaria. FUCK people actually have brains damn the world must be ending.
yeah halloween carival next week. on wednesday we get to spend like 2 hours or something setting up then we get to spend half a day running it then we get a dance fuck and then the next day early dissmissal next week is going to rock. and now that i've said this i'm gonna like fall down a set of stairs and die or something stupid.
wow i actually like a dance track the new gwen stefani song it's good and the video i've only seen clips BUT alice in wonderland rocks so yeah.
god i was so hyper today with my REAl lunch i had gummies, a rice crispy square, pop ,and chocolate now i'm usually withdrwan and quiet and shit bu if i have the slightest bit of sugar runnong through my viens i'm off the fucking wall. yeah i'm one of those kids who can get fucking high of oxygen depemding on what kinda day i'm having.
i can't wait till next sunday CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!!!!!! yes! and i'm being a manson girl it's gonna rock i have this wicked dress i don't wear slut stuff so it's not like SKANK. yeah and i get to run around in a cape come on it kicks ass!!!!! i like sugar it's good so halloweeb is the best when it comes to candy then easter. but over all christmas is the BEST!
shit i gotta go wash dishes since i'm babysitting i'm the RESPONSIBLE person *rolls eyes* so yeah i have to take care of the lil BRAT and wash the dishes and shit. well yeah i have nothing to talk about so i'm just gonna stop babbling BYE!
luv ya
Ginger
FUCK OFF OR I'LL STABB U WITH MY FUCKING SPOON!lol tasha amy and a couple other friends
oct 18
mood-good
song-let's see some eighteen visions song a lil dumb so i can't remember the name and a couple norma jean songs
lyrics-This is the song that never ends and it goes on and on my friends some ppl started singing it not knowing what it was........, and well idn
hello i have returned from wiarton actually i got back yesterday. yeah i just finished my coffee yeah i am a full time coffee drinker now decafe tho cuz normal can stunt ur growth.yeah so i'm kinda vibrating in place cuz i now have a bit of caffiene running through mysystem not to mention the sugar and sweetner and the coke i had earlier coca cola i'm not a druggie.lol alysha sat there singing the word druggie today it was actually amuzing.
sooooooooooooooo...........i rele don't know.Hey i'm telling u avril is copying me loo. like i died my hair rele blonde (cuz pink didn't come out right)and then she went blonde now for those of u who know i have rele dark brown hair and wow she dide her hair rele dark brown for her new video :o she's copying me not to mention me and my friends have walkied linking arms for years and then in her happy ending video she does that. lol jk i just love finding reasons to hate her it's sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much fun! yeah i finaly found a mp3 for punk rock princess :D yeah i'm gonna post it on the guest book page since no one ever visits it so like the only person who does 9taryn) will be the one who gets to hear the song ha! ok yeah i'm a loser i know but that's what makes me special (rrrrrrrrright) fuck no fuckign norma jean song is downloading grrrrrrrrrr. yeah i'm been listening to life 100.3 alot and they play norma jean so yeah...............yeah a couple are working :d now i'm happy well i have to go do a web search so bye
luv ya
ginger
Oct 14
song-vitamin r- chevelle, and The Jetset life is gonna kill-MCR
lyrics-anyone can find the same white pills Takes my pain away
hey i havent been able to write much this week. Yeah i just finished typing up my essay on the short story Mother In Manville. well anyways what is there to talk about i dunno SHIT FUCK SHIT FUCK!!!!! i have a french map of canada tp go finish shit i forgot all about well i guess i can't type much at all today byes.
Luv ya
Ginger
oct 10th HAPPY BIRTHDAY TASHA!
song-pain-jimmy eat world and beat your heart out-the distillers(i'm pretty sure that's what it's called)
lyrics-n/a
ok yeah it's sunday and still no school tomorow *does victory dance* anyways i rented tony hawks underground 2 so far no sheckler lol....yeah it's good it stinks that u have to be on the hawk team but w/e it's still way better than the last one. not to mention the music god the got some really good music for this one music for the last one was ok and for pro skater 4 it was awesome but this one takes the cake. ramones, disturbed, the ramones, the distillers, less than jake just to name a few. but yeah it's awesome.
I also saw the movie 'Saved' today very good movie very funny. i enjoyed it. i saw it from the christian point of view so the movie may be different for a veiwer that's not but anyways in my mind it was a good movie and it shows that christians aren't perfect. it's true though we're (christians) not perfect we're just forgiven.
ANYWAYS........thanksgiving was today :D i love thanksgiving the food the season and just the whole feeling of the season. the best part is this year was like the perfect thanksgiving the weather the feeling of the season everything was how you'd expect the perfect thanksgiving would be. the best part was i got to spend it with my family. my mom dad and brother 3 of the 4 most important people in my life (the other one being jesus) so actually i spent it with all 4 of the most important people in my life.
Today we went to the baptist church it's been a while since we have but it was awesome to go back. out of all the churches we've gone to that one is the best. because the sermons are easy to understand and they aren't legalists. Meaning they won't think your a heathen if your a girl in pants and skate shoes or if u read from a bible other than the king james and i just felt comfortable. so yeah because of the fact my parents belong to a group that does pulpit suplly we move around from church to church as arlene and elmer or brian or even my mom preach filling in for the pastor that can't be there or the one that's left to go elsewhere. but anyways because of that we move ariund often and we never really stay at one church for long but out of all of them the one we went to today (WE weren't there because of pulpit supply they have a pastor and a great one to we were just going so we'd be able to go to church i don't know why exactly but i rele don't care cuz i'm not complaining i;d rather go there everysunday.)
?????????why is it i always sit down to type an entry when i have nothing to talk about like when i do have something i can't cuz i'm at school or i out somewhere or i'm not aloud on the comp or something dumb. *sighs* well w/e...Hey it's Tasha's birthday today HAPPY BIRTHDAY TASH ur finally 13 now it won't be as big a lie when u say ur 14 to get into movies.lol it's not my fault that i look like an 11 year old and u look like ur 16 i'm just gonna be healous and find reasons to make fun of u lol jk.
ok i have something to rant about people who don't wear deoderant. it's makes we wanna chuck that people can't bother to put deoderant on. seriously no one wants to smell ur fucking sweaty arm pits NO ONE!!!!!!!!!!!! It's just wrong its disgustign seriously if people wanted to smell other b.o they wouldn't have invented things like soap and deoderant.yeah i just needed to get that out.
anyways i'm bored and the thrice song i was downloding just finished so buh bye!
luv ya
Ginger
oct 9?
song-if i ain't got you, and lets see pros and cons of breathing
lyrics-Gutted like a pig, all you want is the world to bleed, someone somewhere stole your desire The pain akin to, being punched in the throat, and stabbed in the chest,From the razor to the resume we can loose our selves and paint these walls in pitch fork red
yeah it's like 10:48 in the morning. i got up early considering i went to bed late. I went to laser quest for tasha b-day party last night. it was ok i came in 8th the first game and then in last the second one. yeah i had dumb code names the first one was mascara and then the second one was garth being the goth kid in this stupid comic in a stupid magazine i get (my grandma orders it)
yeah the second game this group of lil kids stalked me around shooting me it stunk but yeah we attacked tasha with stamps it was fun. and then on the way back we listend to music and acted like goofs.
hmmmmmmmmm this week has been normal like it wasn't great but it didn't suck.I rele have nothing to talk about there have been nights where i have but just haven't posted. so w/e.
i got a new e-mail i'm very happy. i still use ruby_gloom27@hotmail.com but i have a new one xaxpoemxtoxthexdeadx@hotmail.com ruby gloom is my chattting acount that i use on messenger the other one is more for e-mail like i'm gonna transfer my street team info over to that one so i'll have one for e-mails and the other for chatting.
well otherwise i rele have nothing to talk about so w/e bye for now
luv ya
Ginger
oct 3 the last day of the west 49 canadian open :( it's sucks that it's come to an end
song-hmmm that's a tuffy have I listened to much music today well anyways.......artist in the ambulance-thrice and hmmm let's see blue and yellow by the used
lyrics-none
I saw a guy pull off the indy 900 twice today at the west canadian open!!!!!!!!!!!!ha ha tony hawk's dead man lol. but yeah it was amazing it was like wicked it took him 2 tries to get it man. but yeah i got more siggys today on my shirt my adorable younger brother ran around getting random pros to sign the shirt. and he got haslam to sign it man dude that's wicled. also um chet tomas signed it how wicked is that. oh yeah and kyle jackson lol he's a rele good skater sponsored by globe hawk the list goes on and well he's in grade 5 and he goes to my school but yeah one day when he's pro i'll be able to go yeah he signed my shirt. lol. yeah 2 of the guys from skate for cancer signed my shirt too. :D but yeah it's funny cuz i have no clue who half of the people are. siggy's i didn't get that i'd wanted: colt cannon mark appleyard vanessa torres lind-z (forgot her last name) PLG(peirre luc gangon) Antione???(rele good skater at the comp) and Sheckler cuz he wasn't there to begin with.
but yeah it sucks that it's come to an end cuz the thing was wicked. like dude a guy pulled off the fucking indy 900 and buckey pulled off this fucking wicked trick. well corey sheppard wasn't there today i think he tweeked his ankle. and alot of tosh townend fans were dissapointed cuz he couldn't sign anything cuz of his hand. but yeah there was alot of really good skaters there. well no free shit today other than autographs from the west team but i did get food. i got fries 2 things one when we fot there one near the end. cotton candy:D it was blu and fluffy and it was fresh so u didn't get random stale chunks. and they had these really cool things called dippin dots and their tiny ice cream balls and at like 1 i got a thing of cotton candy dippin dots and then later at like 6 i got a thing of cookies and creme dippin dots. so i didn't starve myself today
ok well yeah i can't believe its over i'm so going back next year totally and hopefully sheckler will show up next time. cuz you know the biggest let down for me this weekend was finding out that sheckler wouldn't be there cuz he fucked his arm and his elbow so yeah...*sighs* it sucked....BUT otherwise the weekened was fuckin awesome dude. buckey signed my shirt i got to see some dude pull off the nine hundred i got free shit um i got taco bell for dinner :D (sorry i love taco bell)and yeah lots o stuff. and i got to see alot of rele rele rele good skaters skate so it was wicked.
well i'll probably be covering the west canadian open next year on the site and i might change the concert review page to a misc review page. with putfit report lol yeah so i can be like welll today blah blah blah happened and i was wearing....lol yeah just so i can fuck this site up a little more than it was before cuz i'm special.
well let's see dude i'm bored and i wanna go like roll around or something but i can't because of killer cramps ahhhhhhhhhhhhh warning never eat tacco bell when ur pms or when it's gettin close to the time of the month the food dose not fucking help one bit. *cringes at the pain* hey my brother almost got fuckin killed in product toss he was after a world industries complete and well he ended fighting over it waith a bunch of older guys and has a red mark on his head from getting slammed into the boards.
well that's all for the west 49 canadian open coverage on gothic girlie. i probably will have a review up within the week. :D lol i'm a fucking moron the only two people who ever visit the site and taryn and i so w/e.
that's all luv ya
ginger
oct 2 day 2 of the west 49 canadian open
song-first date-blink 182, To The End- My Chemical Romance
lyric-n/a i haven't listened to that much music today other than the music playing at the thing which is mostly rap and stuff and the rock u can;t rele hear the lyrics right!
BUCKEY LASEK SIGNED MY SHIRT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!yeah it rocks so much i'm so happy my mom was like just put the damn thing on for now so yeah it was on my back when he signed it. but still i was inches from fucking buckey lasek dude that is fuckin g amazing!
sadly ryan sheckler broke his left elbow and right arm so he can't rele skate which rele sucks since he's like my idol and i was looking forward to seeing him skate so yeah i'm really disapointed about it.yeah when i found out today that he broke his arm i was stunned i was like dude this is so unfair just my luck. dude it figures this was all to good to be true fuck man this sucks ass. yes many thoughts were flying through my mind it sucxked. but hey so far the open has been wicked. yeah the dc video was tonight it wraped up day 2. yeah haslam (chris) took home the most money at the switch street best trick. and corey sheppard got some cash and a tweeked ankle. well i'm not too sure there wasn't huge detail but it was either a tweeked ankle or a massive charley horse. so yeah it was weird we were just watching and then all of a sudden their getting the medic for him. yeah it was odd but still its been wicked so far.
yeah so far for free shit i've gotten a couple magazines a couple posters um two 102.1 the edge buttons and um a bmg lanyard i think that's it. yeah and then bought a shirt food and i dunno i think that's about it. hey yesterday the fructis people did my hair and they scrunched it and i can't rele explain it but when i got home i had a shower to get all the shit out of my hair. but yeah the fructis people are doing all sorts of crap like liberty spikes pigtails mohawks and yeah alot of odd stuff considering the people who ende up with pig tails were mainly guys.
I can't belive that shecklers not even gonna show up. from what i've heard he's not even gonna like come and watch the other skaters that's bs. like i broke my wrist i still had to go to school why can't he atleast go and watch and see his fans god dammit. sorry if u can't tell i'm rele disapointed cuz uh you know he's my fave skater so it sucks he's not gonna be there.
well yeah so ends day 2 of the west 49 canadian open 2004.
yeah brit and i finished out duct tape art yesterday. we finished the amp on thursday, and then built the guitar the strap and the stand on friday. yeah it was fun. we got to make crap out of duct tape all day hey it's better than math (kinda weird considering it was a math project) and science god i ahte science it sucks big time!but hey i like science better than gym and *shudders* franch.
god i'm bored i'vebeen walking around an arena and watching skaters all fricken day and now that i'm just sitting it's like need more excitement......to quiet........such small rooms.........only 4 people....yeah cuz i've been walking through crowds of skateboarding fans in the small hallways of the hershey center ans then sitting in the huge arena watching the street and vert heats. and it's so loud with people yelling and stuff so this to me is so boreing and different.
yeah my brother went around getting autographs and some dude put "To Gerald keep Sk8tin P.S your gay" seriosuly in those exact words even to the spelling of skate which pisses my off because of the fact there is no 8 in skate god dammit but w/e.
I'm rele bored i'm gonna go play a video game or something.
Luv ya
Ginger
sept 30th?? I think
yeah omg i totaly forgot why i love a static lullaby nad then i sat down and watched the video for Lipgloss and let down and the song helped me remember it brought back memories and crap and yeah *sighs* fuck i miss the summer time. THIS MAY NEVER START WE COULD FALL APART AND I"D BE UR MEMORY!!!! lol i Love that song they played it at last years grad i know cuz i served punch. so yeah but it was the acustic version and then they played it again the next day and awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwe. god all these songs make me sad. like it makes me thing of summer and fun times like cute without the e ur so last summer memory lipgloss & let down...and so many more........................
ANYWAYS i sound like a fucking whiney emo kid lol. yeah i went to the mall today with brit and eric. yeah we walked around the mall like retards and yeah and then we started talking about hobos and how brit and michelle threw galaxy tokens at one until the hobo ran away. and how there's a hobo in a box behinde winners.
yeah it was early dismissal today we got out at 11 30. i walked home with tasha tj nicole and james and we were gonna go and slam on the windos at st bens lol and yelled FUCK YOU! but we didn't i ended almost puking cuz at camp a couple years ago i'd shove my fingers down my throat to gross people out and so i tried to puke and i couldnt but yeah it grossed tasha out :D
IF U COULD BE MY PUNK ROCK PRINCESS I WOULD BE UR GARAGE BAND KING! yeah that is my all time fave song on earth i love it. yeah it's just such a cute song and yea.....*sighs*....it makes me sad cuz i'm ugly but yeah.....AHHHHHHHHHHHHH i soung like a whiney emo kid help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OMG TOMROW WEST 49 CANADIAN OPEN I"M GOIN!!!!oh yeah ryan shecklers gonna be there oh yeah!I'm so excited like seriously this is huge for me i love him sooooooooooo much he's so hot and he's an amazing skateboarder omg i'm gonna die i'm so happy. yeah i've been waiting for tomorow since august when i got the tix. holy crap i'm so excited i'm gonna fuckin piss myself lol.
ah ha this song says u could be my heroine lol that's too funny i'm sorry but telling someone that they could be ur drug that couyld very well end up kiling them soundds real grrrrrrrreat. *rolls eyes* yeah.
i've got the asl video on repeat now yeahhhhh "and now ur speechless and i can't stop laughing" i love this song at first i ddin't know what the guy was rele saying in one point and i thought it was about one thing and then i read the lyrics and i was like oh maybe not.LOL yeah in the video i've never noticed it but before joe(the lead singer) starts scream i didn't want it this way dan the rele cute guitarist witha tiny lip stud and a rele nice voice does this funny head bobble thing and it looks like he's retarded or something but it's awesome and funny.
anyways yeah i got home today and i started playing the original video for I'm not ok I promise on my comp i'm seriosuly in love with this band like i love pretty much every song by them i've heard. yeah they fricken rock well i'm not ok i'm not o-fucking-k lol that lyirc kicks ass. i love it hey their video is the uncharted vid on much go request it and shit cuz u know what their better than mutherfucking avril so yeah make sure they get played more than that whore lol.
but yeah i gotta go i'll write later when i'm not so high.
luv ya
Ginger
sept ? it's wednesday that's all i know
song-Lipgloss & Black - Atreyu, or I'm Not Ok- MCR ( i love this song and both vids)
lyrics-such rage that u could scream the stars right out of the sky, and um hip hip hooray 4 me u talk to me but would u kill me in my sleep
Ok yeah i went ot the movies tonight with Brit Jen Jaymie and KT. yeah britts boyfriend came and none of his friends could so he was the only guy and we sat at the back and like acted like idiots throwing cotten candy and being retards and it was so funny. like serously the script for sky captin we're sure must be a left over porno script!yeah and we got stickers and their so gay ass it's funny
yeah but i'm pissed cuz taryns being an idiot seriously she drinks now and shes 13 she asks to see guys dicks on webcam she talks to guys she dosen't even know who could be like 40 year old and says dirty stuff to them. she promises guys blow jobs and she's just rele out of hand. like fuck the worst thing i've done so far is flashed a bus...about that yeah i lifted up my top when this bus passed i didn't lift my bra tho i'm not retarded.
yeah anyways NEW TOPIC. um yeah i'm watching the orignal version for i'm not ok (i promise) omg gerad looks so adorbale in so many parts. like omg he's soooo fucking hot like their are times when he really creeps me out but other wise fuck gerads hot lol.yeah but when i first started listening to them i had no clu what they looked like and i only just started liking him so w/e. I'm not a slut ok. fuck grrrr. It was picture day today all the grade 8's one photo fuck i missed part of lunch cuz it took so god damn long and i was like thrid row from the bottom i'm so fucking short i hate it. like i'm shorter than people i used to b taller than it sux. hey atleast i wasn't sitting in front i always hated that grrrr.still yeah pic day still sucked ass.
hey now i'm listening to atreyu i love this song it's the best and the piano bit at the end is so cool it's just ads this awesome affect making the song sound so...cool it's hard to explain it softens the song and it just ends rele awesomely (fuck i know that's not a word) yeah i can't explain it all i know it's it's wicked.
you know what i hate stuoid people seriously and i mean stupid in a certain way like stupid people the judgemental ones who lable and go ok u wear black ur a goth and are just like you know what u suck when the don' know fuck all about you. i deal with those poeple all the time and they can just fuck off. well i gotta go
bye
Ginger
sept 27
lyrics-all of the song hurt by nine inch nails, and live love burn die, and i am exhumed just a lil less human and a lot more bitter and cold-lipgloss and black
ok yeah i feel much fucking better and next time that shit happens i'm telling my parents cuz i can't put up with it anylonger. anyways yeah i've honestly only ever heard the jonny cash version of the song hurt nad hte only song i've ever heard by nin is closer which is sick!!!!! so anyways i had to hear the original version of hurt and i love it so now i'm downloading shit load of nin songs to see what i think lo. well anywas the new the used cd comes out tomorow. and in 4 days it's the west 49 canadian open
yeah on the gaiaonline.com site i have my story posted +the curse+ it's my modern vampire story. yeah lol my account name is xmyxchemicalxromancex yeah but like it matters lol i'm hyper. well continuing on i'm listening to a live version of the song lip gloss & black and i watched the vid that goes with it earlier. they are amazing live and you know what the lead singer isn't a total asshole like msot lead singers in bands are. he's reaching out shaking hands with everyone and since it's there last song at the end he takes time to thank everyone for comming adn stuff which is so nice. yeah it's awesome.
yeah.........*sighs* i'm so bored now i did most of my homework i'm gonna finish copying the last lil bit of my story and then i'm going to do the rest because i'm not dealing with ms. sals's wrath. yeah um hey i died my hair the colour is called dark ash brown i love it. it looks almost black tho but hey i'm not complaining. yeah god i have french first thing tomorw *bashes head on desk* god i hate it hey next year if i pass it in grade 9 i never have to take it again YES!!!! "LIVE LOVE BURN DIE!" sory i absolutely love that line i love all of their songs. because they have fucking talent. bands with talent are always the best. like they have a good stage presence and their just as good live as they arre on tape, and i've only ever seen aped performances. now whatever tour they do next year whether it be warped or ozzfest i'm fucking going. i'm already going to warped tho for mcr but hell if atreyu's playing ozzfest fuck i'm going to that too.
yeah matt was making fun of me to day calling me a vampire because i was reading interview with a vampire he's such a moron. i was just like what the hell but like i fucking care. i'm learning to deal with it.
plus it's not much of a diss come one i'm a vampire freak why the fuck do i care if he calls me vampire.
but back to hurt by nin the song is fucking awesome the lyrics and shit are amazing. you can tell he really put thought into it. and in an interview geoff rickley did with him he talked about it being straight from his heart or something i don't fucking remember but w/e. but yeah it's a good song the best songs are when the artist puts their heart into and really shows emotion and shows their not completely wrapped up in shit fuck i can't explain it. well maybe not the best but those songs are the ones that really stick out in my mind and at the end of the day have true value. like cute without the e and all the small things and i wanna be sedated are all great songs and shit and i like them ti think their awesome. but to me it's songs like rough draft and hurt and war all the time and that kind that really have value. fuck i'm sick of hearing about bull shit in songs seriously unless the song is really good i don't care. ok i will bend that rule sometimes but not often. also when an artist dosen't write their own songs it makes me sick because you know what it's not theirs they can't relate to it in anyway they can't say yeah it about a rough time in my life because they didn't write it.
ok i feel better now that i've ranted yeah i ended up singing with tasha twice today it was odd. like at recess we sang bits and pieces of pieces of me (don't ask it's ctachy even tho she didn't write it i don't think) and then walking the track the chorus to an alica keys song. fuck alicia keys has talent. (thats why i brought the singin with tasha up) seriously she may be a friken r&b singer i don't care she has soooo much talent it's amazing. seriosuly if i could sing like that i would sing spontaniously seriously because she has such a beautiful voice.
yeah god i ahve the damn song on repeat and i can't stop talking about ti i just guess i haven't been so into a song in a while although all weekend i've had cemetery drive on repeat well mainly cuz gerads voice is o fucking sexy in the song lol naw well that and the fact it's just a good song it's one of those cute without the e all the small................songs. yeah!but honestly i'm gojg out and buying the album with this song on it. cause honestly with a song this good the rest of the album msut rock. god my list of cd's to get has grown shit god damn i need to get a fucking job. lol that would be great if i was good at anything fuck i can't get a job at a fast food place cuz i don't eat meat. i'm shitty at math and yeah the list goes on. i'm fucked.
yeah well w/e. i don't have to worry about that.....yet. hmmmmmmmm fuck i just wanna talk about the song. must think of new topic well you knw what i'm gonna copy the rest of the story down bye.
ginger
Everyone i know goes away in the end
sept 24
song-Bulimic-The Used and um let's see thanks for nothing-ooym
lyrics-crush it up crush it up take it down take it down smash it up smash it up falling down!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
no i'm not a crak addict!but look at my songs yeah today i waas at the dance feeling fine having fun and then depression hit me i began to cry so i ran and locked my self in the washroom after spending around 7 minutes sitting there i bent over and barfed up my food!serously i gagged and people came in and out and no one noticed NOT A PERSON except my friends who i'd told i felt sick earlier.
then the pain went away they thought i'd barfed cuz i'd felt sick and then i broke down I sat on the ground by a wall and cried and cried till the end of the dance and i cried till we left and then i lost my pink studded bracelete but that don't matter!Then i told taryn and katie i was insane and that i'd forced myself and they said i wasn;t but i needed help i won't tell my parents tho i can't they'll send me to a shrink and i'm scared to go becasue shrinks lie they say the understand and they aren't judgemental and their there to help u! BULLSHIT their there to get payed they can't understand cuz they've never been through that and the are so judgemental!!!!!!!!!!
yeah anyways today was ok it didn't suck i got half my collage done and i also got piggybacks!!!!!!and in a lot of trouble with ms. sals for saying hell.yeah twice i do it again and i swear i'm dead.Yeah i got two anne rice novels interview with a vampire and the vampire lestat i plann to read them and use them for book reports i swear all my book reports will be on anne rice novels lol.
yeah i also am gonna die my hair brown like deep brown its gonna look good i hope. i got my eyebrows done too!sorry i'm trying to forget about my lil puking incedent i've never done that before it was gross though i puked up my mountian dew and my c2 that i'd drank 2 hours before and my dinner so yeah this was like 9 i had dinner before 6 and i'd had my c2 and stuff then then at like 7:45 i'd had the mountain dew but yeah it was sick!
shortly after i began to barf another girl went in to the stall beside me and puked her friends were reaching under the stalls trying to get her to stop mine thoiught i was really being sick.but i guess they didn't know then how depressed i was. god i'm becoming bulimic soon i'll be waisting away because i'm puking out my pain
my mom could enter the room at any mionute i have to go
i'll write tomorow
luv ya
Ginger the depressed bulimic loser!
sept 23
song-hmm lemme think about this one! well i'd have to say(laughs at how serious i sound right now)Hitchin A Ride Greenday OH YEAH!!!!!!! and uh let's see. Waiting For The Heavens-eighteen visions
lyrics-so cut my wrists and black my eyes so i can fall asleep tonight-hawthorne heights and a star up in the sky a poem to the dead let this msitake bring a vivid crystal to her eyes so drain out my lungs before the fluid brings the choke i cannot inhale the sparkle of your voice....I have to stop now or i'll finish the damn song if u don't know it look it up urself, and um 'with such rage you could scream teh stars right out of the sky' i think that's the lyrics lipp gloss and blakc by atreyu
ha i wasn;t checking my spelling so it must suck ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!yeah i'm dying my hair dark brown cuz purple costs a fourtune and it fades like nobody's buisness so fucki it i'll go dark brown. plus i like the way i look with arker hair it's purty lol NOT!hey i like this song it's by hawthorne heights and it's called blue burns orange it pretty good theirs screaming so it rocks lol!
yeah i've updated the about me page a bit and if i haven't said this a dozen times the photo page has a tacking back sunday video YEAH!!!! sorry i love taking back sunday really adam lazzara is totally hot lol but it really dosen't matter i was a fan before i started liking adam!so yeah it's not about the looks it's about the music and i really mean that!
BURN THE SUN BURN THE LIGHT TAKE TAKE TAKE TAKE TAKE TAKE IT AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
that was very random lol. yeah anyways speaking of that yeah on sunday on the way to church i swear i had to hide my face because i felt as if i was burning in the sun and my eyes stung if i even did so much as looked up so i laughed the other day listening to the song take it away!
yeah i've been trying to download eighteen visions songs but their all fucked up and play the intro over and over for like 10 minutes it pisses me off! damn their trying to get rid of downloaders with fucked up versions of songs god replace them allk with avril that would be a bettter way i'd never download again i'd be like ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh the rat faced whore is replacing my downloads save me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yeah i'm a fricken looney bin i don't rele give a shit! i got a shirt that talks about rock t-shirts and it says followers are to drunk to f it's so funny and yeah it goes on i think it's classic.
yeah um greenday on mod i love them billy is damn hot lol tre is insane and awesome and mike has talent. but yeah tre has to be the biggest joker in my mind the whole time he was just doing stupid stuff. yeah billy joe said FUCK! ON LIVE TV LIL KIDS WERE WATCHING that makes me LAUGH!so yeah my lil grade 2 stalker kids are now my friends awwwwwwwwwwwe!
ok yeah i got in a fight in the hall today it was fun. my friends hit sebastian with a folder so he hit back then i hit him with my binder and the fight began then i continued fighting bit him then he hit me in the mouth like he is weak but he punched my mouth and my lip got pressed into my teeth which hurts. so back in class when we were getting ready for dissmissal i kicked him a fair few times and yeah the little chicken shit is scared of me. i swear i'm gonna beat the shit out of the lil bitch some day. lol just kidding sebastian but if u ever fucking hit me again i will fucking beat u up i kid u not!
i seriously wanna go run around i can play ahem
so you wrote it down i'm suposed to care even tho it's nvr there sorry if i'm not prepared is it hard to see the things u substatute for me and all my thoughts of u it's eating me alive to leave u so maybe it's childish and maybe it's wrong but so is ur blank stare in lue of this song maybe it's childish maybe it's wrong don't wanna be don' wanna be wrong ur leaving me ur leaving me in lue of this song.
i can play all that on guitar the melody not the chords cuz the strum is fucked up and i'm too stupid and then the melody is diff for the second verse i know that but the music i have says it's the same BULLSHIT!
yeah but i almost cried i was so happy when i was able to play that with flaws and i have tos top now and then but i can still play it!!!!!!!!!!! YEAH the shittiest guitar player on the face of the planet other than avril can play part of a yellowcard song!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
why is it if u use a bunch of exclamations u always end up with those annyoing 1's at the end like god i lifted my finger of the 1/! key first but noooooooooo u always get those ones. yeah i'm rele fucked up today rele!!!i kid u not lol can u tell?
well i need to stop typing before i fuck this site up even more than it already is!
bye luv ya
ginger the psycho lil freak!
THEY TOLD ME VAMPIRES DON'T EXIST TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!LIERS THEY DO SO EXIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR :[
sept 22
mood-ok
song-shit i thouhg of em yesterday but couldn't post fuck!ok let's see..........Ohio is for lovers, and um fuck what was the fucking song yeah the shooting star that destroyed us all(i haven't heard that song in a while must go download)
lyrics-I KNOW THIS WORLDS THE ENEMY!-eighteen visions, and um With their big fake smiles and their stupid lies While deep inside you're bleeding -simple plan FUCK OFF ok i was able to answer most of the questions they ask in the song yes so don't bug me
ok yeah i'm learning smoke on the water by deep purple on guitar and guess what other song??? YELLOWCARD ROUGH DRAFT! yes i'm sooooooooooooo happy about that!well yeah and in voice i'm learning imaginary by evanescence still an moon river from the movie breakfast at tiffany's i love that song so much!!!!!! it's so cute! anyways and next week i think i'm starting on drive by incubus in voice i love that song as well!
yeah um i put on a tank top and skirt after my shower its kinda freaky!!!!! yeah and then i danced around the room to cute without the e i think i hurt more than my stomach today. yeah i have a red mark beside my belly button it used to me huge cuz earlier i was scrapping the mini pizzas of the pan i got to close a bit of my belly was showing the corner touched flesh and ther i burned myself and cussed about it too!
lol well um we did pilates in gym its better than fucking soccer or soccer baseball. fuck we did 12 minute run today in the fucking heat! yeah i was dying my black crowned king top and my black stratch pants. seriously it was fuck save me the heat save me i'm in all balck ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
lol well um yeah i've been listening to alicia keys i anin't got u it's a fucking amazing song i love it!ah ha my Wigger neighbour was trying to sing chop suey by system of a down yesterday i was in the spair bed room at the front of the house and all of a sudden i hear that i almost died laughing.he's such a moron he stood on his back deck last thursday amp cranked full and just began hitting random strings it was so funny. so when i'm done learning smoke on the water i'm gonna crank my amp and play that lol!
i'm isuch a loser lol and i'm luvin it! yeah um we pulled up our shirts till just below our bras and flashed our tummies at the passing bus. lol it was tasha and i that did she flashed a diff bus all the way but she didn't pull up her bra so a whole bunch of kids say her bra and stomach. i find that rele odd but w/e.
waiting round the bend my huckleberry friend moon river and me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!or atleast i hope thats how it goes lol yeah i'm a fruit cake lol!omg i'm listening to the original version that plays in the movie where its only the back roud music! it so adorable. awwwwwwwwwwwwe i love the movie sorry as dark and depressed as i am i do have a real soft spot!
yeah *sighs* i'm learning the most adorable emo/pop punk kinda sorta love song ever (in my mind other than new american classic) Rough Draft.
ah i can't sing with this fucking version ahhhhhhhhhhh it's the original but fuck my voice will not co operate with me fuck!!!!!!
well i gotta go guys
LUV YA
ginger :)
song-hang em high, and i never told you what i do for a living both by my chemical romance
Random Quote(i have no lyric today)-...blood fruit loops...LOL amy
ok yeah um that was from the story i was writing adn my friend amy and this kid sebastian were reading over my shoulder and sebastian was so grossed out about how detailed it was. first he's like ewwwe there's blood coating the toilet and i said yeah she just puked it up and then he read about the fruit loop thing and was like ur psychotic but w/e it was so funny tho!
yeah good times i'm not that depressed anymore but i'm still a lil off. HEY GO TO THE PHOTOS PAGE!!!! my reason is the new tbs video palys i;ve been trying to get the new mcr video to play for like ever but i finaly gave up and then i found this one and up it went!
yeah school SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!! but yeah i've been spending alot of time writing about vampires o-course! i love em to death vampires are my inspiration dude i went out bought fangs and a cape and then when i went with my mom to the hostpital so she could pick soemthing up froma lady she works with i wore my cape and before we left i ran around the parking lot in my cape like a moron!LOL it was soooooooooooooo fun but soooooooooooooooooo funny! i loved it!
i saw the 3rd ginger snaps movie its a canadian release only i loved it it was awesome not as good as the first but wayyyyyyyyyyyyyy better then the second!
it takes place in 19th century canada and it tells the first story all over again just different setting and the plot is different i still loved it though! i hated yet loved the ending! ah ha i have a couple good ginger snaps quotes i'm gonna post em@
Ginger: You swore we'd go together, one way or another.
Brigitte: When we were eight.
Ginger: Out by sixteen or dead in this scene but together forever. Together forever.
Brigitte: United against life as we know it.
Brigitte: I'm stronger than you.
Ginger: Really? That's not how I remember the first fifteen years of your life.
Brigitte: That's how I remember the last fifteen minutes of yours.
MORE TO COME! seriously i want to start a whole page of quotes so seriously if u find any on the internet 9this is me assuming anyone visits the site) please e-amil them to me ruby_gloom27@hotmail.com i swear i'll love u forever(not like that's a good thing but then i won't end up stbbing u in ur sleep when i go on my killing rampage lol i know i'm a freak)honestly it's my favourite movie EVER! seriously i cried at the end of the first one the first time i saw it i found it so sad and i've loved the movie ever since also anyone that has me on msn knows for the longest time i was ginger fitzgerald i'm not sure if my profile still says that but i seriously love the movie ginger is the coolest9except for when she's a SLUT)
um yeah i guess thats all 4 today
luv ya
Ginger!
mood-suicidal
song-none
lyrics-none
yeah............ i feel so empy right now. like if i were to stabb myself i'd feel nothing.I wore all black today fitting with my mood. yeah i wore this black dress with t-shirt sleevs a collar and it came down to my knees fishnets and my black converse! yeah so if i died i could be burried in this!i decided to think ahead this morning. my parents acted like nothing had ever happened. like i cried myself to sleep last night. curled up in bed close to the wall. then i dreamt of death and more death and blood.
right now for some reason i'm enjoying listening to songs about death and/or vampires. yeah ginger snaps 3 came out. holy shit i didn't know they'd be making one. it's so fucked up though. like ginger dosen't go wolfy till part way through the first movie thens he dies at the end. then in the 2nd brigette gets locked away in the end and ging is still dead. and this one's called the begining and their both alive what the fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yeah that was random!but i seriously feel so suicidal as always. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. fuck i'm bored. i feel empty right now. like verything i'm saying had no expression. because of the fact i'm so empty i have no emotion no feelings i'm just dead to myself.dead to the wrold. yup!
my hands are cold because of the fact my heart is black and dead so i have no body temp. i wonder what would happen if i slit my wrists right now what would my moms reaction be at 6 in the morning when she came down to get ready for work.??????????????????????????????/i really do wonder i find it quit amuzing just thinking about it!
yeah well w/e fuck this i'm bored i'm gonna go do somethin else
ginger
i hate everything about you
sept 17
song-any good song about death
lyrics-here i go SCREAm my lounges of and try to get you u are my only one-yc or with blood tears in my eyes-atreyu
FUCK JUST KILL ME PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1I mean it my parents hate me. it's true they don't believe i'll ever amount to anything when i started up with guitar the never believed in me and thought i'd fail because of that i'm really bad at it still. same with voice after my recital i found out they didn't even think i'd sound anygood.
my dad thinks i'm gonna end up working at mc donalds for the rest of my life!it's bad enough i'm the biggest loser at school not to mention the ugliset kid on earth but my parents think ym last words are gonna be would u like fries with that.
fuck i am soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo depressd already school is a fucking hell hole and i'm the school freak. i'm picked on by my friends cuz i'm ugly and i've never had a boyfriend which apparently is just pathetic if ur in grade 8 and never had a boyfriend.and of course i'm aloser my own friends that i've hung out with for years now pick on me. not to mention everybody else so yeah because of that my self-esteem is low enough. then there's the fact my french teachers picks on me all the time. like first day of french i was writing "that's not french put it away" so i did then she makes up the story that apparently i rolled my eyes and embarasses me infront of everyone. then when i forget my fench english dictonary she singles me out even though a whole crap load of other forgot same with today i was writing and listening and so where a few others and she went "_______- are u listening or writing and i said both and she rolled her eyes and crap" and so on so when ur teacher picks on u that hurts too.
not to mention now my parents think i'm gonna be a mcdonalds person
fuck with my self-esteem leve; i can not use this. because then i jump to conclusions and i get paranoid and then i start thingking weird thoughts like god made me to be everyone elses punching bag. because i'm ugly stupid freakish my parents hate me god i'm the perfect human punching bag.
I swear i have no confidence no self esteem and everyone acts like that have no clue or never would have guessed. FUCK it's because of almost everyone on this earth that i'm the way i am right now! FUCK i can't be an iduvidual i try and i get bullied and harassed to the point i'm ready to kill myself in class. or how about the fact my parents yell and scream and hit and tell me i'm worthless and then their all cudly and when notes come home saying ur daugheter is suicidal bla bla bla they're all surprised and their my best friend.
in feb i was to the point i was ready to stabb myself to death. and i was stupid and told my friends taryn and katie they got worried went to the office then that night my dad said sometimes u have to keep it to urself and not tell anyone. FUCK so now it's my fault i'm depressd fuck if i hadn't had told them i'd be dead right now!
i have never cried this hard in my life other than the time i sat in my room and cried for two hours because i hated life so much. i swear i'm gonna fucking break the mirror cuz i hate it i hate the girl who stares back i hate myself i really do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If i killed myself would the world be better YES! i wouldn't even have a fucking funeral cuz no one wpould care enought o want to come they throw the body in the trash and go have a party and scream YEAH SHE'S DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
see how depressed i am cuz deep down inside this is exactly how i feel EMPTY ALONE that's how i feel i can't remember what it was like before this all started how i'd used to feel before i got depressed for the first time. but suicidal thoughts enterd my mind in the 6th grade and from then till now they've never gone away!
IS IT MY FAULT I"M DEPRESSED OR THAT I"M UGLY OR THAT NO ONE LIKES ME??????????????????I GUESS SO CUZ MAYBE IF I DIED PEOPLE WOULDN"T HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE FACT THAT THEY"VE BEEN NEAR SOMEONE SO FUCKED UP AND IT"S JUST RUINED THEIR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i'm gonna go back to my room and scream into my pillow and cry. my parents aren't home so i could even kill myself but no then they'd be really angry because i'd left gerald all alone at the house and they'd be so fucking pissed that i'd done that to them!
gtg
GINGER
the 16th again
center>mood- and shit same as earlier
I just finished watching the new the used video. i love it bert is still an ugly lil shit lol but yeah i love the video. bert may be an ugly shit but when he's doing the whole phsycho thing it's very very amuzing to watch because of the fact he's so insane. like the vid for buried myself alive i love it it's awesome! but yeah this new one fits with song amazingly cuz of course the chorus being burn the sun burn the light take take take take take take it away 9 i think that was one to many takes i dunno i stopped counting lol). yeah um right then but yeah it was wicked.i love the song any song that in the tiniest way remindes me of vampires suicide death darkness emptiness loniliness that sorta shit is awesoem in my mind. so yeah this song is one of my faves right now. because the whole hating light remindes me of vampires darkness and somehow emptiness.
we had to do an essay on the movie pay it forward like god it'd be more fun to do one on ginger snaps lol. the movie begins with the fitzgerald sister talking about suicide then as the begining credits come in it shows the girls suicide slide show. not but yeah i wouldn't write it that was i rele don't wanna have to repeat graade 8 so um i think it would be better but i sooooooooooooooooo wanna do an essay on that that or nightmare before christmans!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
um yeah i'm hyper sorta kinda well not really!um yeah i found my purple pen in my pocket of one of my paris of jeans. yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!now i can write more poems about death vampires suicide asylums death lonliness emptiness vampires depression different ways to kill ur self voodoo's yeah that sorta stuff!...............wait no i can;t cuz now i can't find the fucking book. just great first i loose the pen now i loose the book wait no i know where it is. i took it to acustics the otehr night cuz i usually have a half an hour between vocal lessons and guitar lessons but now i have the 7:00 voice slot anf the 7:30 guitar slot so no more waiting for my dad to finish his lesson!although having time to sit listen to music and write poems in a basement was cool! LOL srry if u don't know at the new building all the lesson rooms are down staris. it's cool though cuz now there's a piano room 3 guitar rooms a vocal room and there's a recording area and the drum lessons now have a room so they don't have to practice in the middle of the waiting area like they did at the old location! but yeah i don't know sitting in a dusty un finished basement on the floor at like 8:30 listening to the guitar lesson in the room infront of u and the vocal lesson down the hall was interesting!
yeah i like places like that(the basement at acoustic traditions) its a really cool enviroment for when ur doing creative writing whether it be poetry or story writing or song writing what ever it's just a really neat enviroment. well i'm gonna get in shit in a second if i don't head upstairs 9my parents are really strict about this shit plus i have to be up at 6 so i'll be ready to leave for 7:45)so yeah ttfn!
bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
gingerO.o
Sept 16
mood-I AM A BANANA (lol a shit load of people)
song-take it away-the used welcome to my life simple plan (fuck off i was able to answer yes to pretty much all the questions in the song)
lyrics-none today
meet the creature was tonight it was fun running around like a retard with my friends kicking jaspers who is in high school this year so i can't kick him anymore but yeah i kicked him 4 times and each time he fell over lo. then i spilled poweraid on pauls lil bro lol ti was so mean but soooooooooooooooo funny.
ok my mood and my lil icon are from this video called rejected that i found on this site mc-steve.com i heard about this site cuz taryn is in love with steve so yeah w/e. but i almost pissed my self i laughed so hard the first time I saw the vid. yeah now the enter icon is the guy with the spoon and the banana but seriously go watch the video it is so fucking funny!lol seriously. like this is the spoon dude it's a close up!
um yeah tonight was fun i body check Ms. Salsburys door (she my teacher) and then i ran away it sounds dumb but it was so fucking funny at the time. cuz i just body checked the door.
well yeah i'm rele fucking bored so yeah um i'm gonna go mess around on the internet.
bye
Gingerrrrrrrrrrrrrr! lol srry
sept 15
song-FLOAT ON-MODEST MOUSE (I love it!) or somesong by muse that i forgot the name
lyrics-All the lyrics to the song 'Its not a fashion statement is a fucking deathwishby MCR or "And if the sun comes up will it tear the skin right off our bones And then as razor sharp white teeth rip out our necks I saw you there Someone get me to the doctor, someone get me to a church Where they can pump this venom gaping hole " from the song by mcr called 'Vampires will never hurt you'
i so mad i lost my purple pen this may not sound important but it's the pen i write poems in poem book with and i only use that pen cuz it would be dumb to use a diff pen i have dozens of pens some of them purple but it has to be the right one or else! so yeah :'( i want my purple pen cuz i was on a creative poem writing streak there and then i lost the dammit pen!
anyways (fuck i can't find the damn thing)..............um yeah BIG NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My Chemical Romance is playing warped tour 05!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yeah!!!!!!!!!if u didn't know i have missed wapred every year since i first heard of it! like 03 i was at my grandmas in ajax and couldn't go and then this year i was gonna go then my mom got given ontario place tickets for that day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=[grrrr! but this year i am so going!
um yeah i had something to say but then i lost it SHIT! um yeah lol i'm still gonna be a manson girl with betty for halloween its gonna rock i've got this cool black dress spaghetti strapped with a lace up thing on the top part (with material underneath the lace up part i'm not a slut)and it's got a jagged skirt that's cool and it rele gothic ish!
um yeah i tried to post an entry earlier but my dad was all like get off the comp u have to practice first but then i went and hung out @ tashas since she lives at the very top of lisa marie which is just up the street litterally cuz she's at the top of the hill and i'm half way down it sux!!!!! but yeah we hung out and i was rele hyper surprisingly and then i got home and suddenly i got stabbed and yeah now i'm not happy anymore when i say stabbed i mean by depression!
wow i'm rele high lol!not *-* yeah um i dunno i'm kinda empty inside right now just empty!no emotion like the colour black it's such and empty colour it has no emotion its dark which reminds me of death and lonliness and of course emptiness thts why its my fave colour and i dpn't give a shit if u call it a shade its a fucking colour to me!
i'm doing my best to post regularily cuz i did have a dif web journal and then i gave up on it cuz i kinda in nov lost the internet and didn't get it back till march and by then the site was soo out of date seriously! and yeah we'd gotten some huge virus!!!!!!!!!!11GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!um uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh nothing rele to talk about oh yeah i totally forgot i'm going to the west 49 canadian open how wicked is that?sheckler will be there *swoon* yeah i love sheckler he's sucha lil cutie even though he's like 2 years older thn me!
well for today that shall be all if i think of something or if something rele big happens i'll update till then
luv ya
Ginger the fucking psycho suicidal mcr and vampire obsessed freak with purple hair! lol srry!
sept 14
mood-Hyper(lol taryn)
song-imperial march star wars,imaginary evanescence
lyrics-burn the sun burn the light take take tak take it away-the used, im a walkin contradiction and i've got NO rights-greenday
hey yeah i just got msg plus which is and add on to msg 6.1 so its wicked u can send the imperial march with a bunch of bat emotions it's wicked! I'm such a Star Wars freak lol it's pathetic!I love star wars so i rele hate it when people go oh yeah star wars sucks that pisses me off!ALOT!
i'd love to chat more but my dad is telling me to get off the comp bye
luv ya
ginger!
sept 13
,center>song-bleeding mascara-atreyu, or set phasers to stun-tbs
lyric-hip hip hooray for me u talk to me but would u kill me in my sleep
hello i wrote a crap load more poems yeah about depression and burning and have the touch of death and voodoo and all that shit if u have no clue what the hell i'm talking about read the last entry there lies the answer! yeah well the new kid knows that tasha likes him 8rolls eyes at her stupidness* she told him and now she's made the worst first impression ever if she hadn't of done that she could have started a friendly conversation with him then slowly gotten to know him that would ahve been better than spilling it all!
well yeah i'm still rele depressed deep down inside but i smile. my friends think i'm happy and all but deep down inside i'm slowly dieing! funny how that works!yeah whatever i don't rele care anymore. tasha nad i were talking about how she always makes bad first impresions and i said i just keep my feelings to myself and i don't tell anyone how i feel and i try to ignore my feelings because it works out!
well w/e i rele don't care i just don't ok well i rele don't care about much. all i care about is music poetry and vampires that's about it. otherwise i don't think anything else matters my health my life my feelings none of that matters i shower alot wash my clothes and brush my teeth alot that's all i do for snazzing myself up!well yeah w/e i gotta go bye
luv ya
byes!!!!
sept 12
song-hello-evanescence, and anthem of our dying day-story of the year
lyric-none today
yeah juest finished watching the series premiere of jack & bobby so far it's a good show! yeah i'm really depressed right now and i don't know why in church today i cried because something was upsetting me i didn't know what and still don't know what but yeah! somethings bugging me surprisingly it's not that my dad who when i was 9 almost died of a heart attack is having horrid chest pain due to severe stress. but something is it's just that bad feeling u get somethimes and it bringing me down! and now for no reason i'm depressed! last ngiht i wrote 4 poems one about how on the outside i may smile but on the inside i'm slowly dieing another about cutting urself to ease the pain another about hanging ur self and the final one about a vampires immortal life!then today i wrote one about being insane and needing to be in a mental hospital!
i dunno but i'm on one of my huge depression phases i went through one of these in february and i tried to kill myself in class! and 2 of my friend sspent the afternoon in the washroom crying the other didn't find out about it till the end of march! but yeah i go throught these phases alot may 2003 nov 2003 feb 2004 and then may 2004 when i carved the f word into my arm with an earing and it's just now almost faded!the c and the k are very faint now and u can't see the f or the u anymore!
i worry about these days all the time i worry about when i'll get depressed agian if u read through these entries u'll find most of the time i am depressed! for example i spent most of my summer depressed!wanting to die crying my self to sleep and plottinf out ways to kill myself!yeah so w/e i just wanted to post something today i'm gonna go sit in my room write more poems and maybe cry myself to sleep! maybe that'll help me feel better! because right now all i feel is empty as if i have no heart as if it's been ripped out torn to pieces by depression so that'll i want to die so it can watch me suffer as it always does. this always happens after i've gone back to normal. for examle i went to the crowned king concert felt better than i had in months and i was happy then a few days later it came back and tore me apart yesterday i spent the whole day with taryn and katie and i had fun and i had the most fun i've ever had and now i'm back at scratch trying not to give in to the want to die!the never ending want to die! well anyways i changed the song on this page and the photos page now has music
so w/e
Ginger
sept 11
song-pain-jimmy eat world i really like this song to bad it won't download!
lyric-buried myself alvide on the inside so i could shut u up and make u go away fro a long time.......(pretty much the whole damn song!)
ok yeah i have next to nothing to talk about! i went to a concert today and well the review is now on the concert review page!
i hung out with taryn and katie my 2 blonde friends today! we hung out from 11:30 till like 5 o'clock! yeah i spent my whole day outside pretty much ok here was my day!I went ot a concert taryn katie and i went back to my place then down town we went to hardcore sounds where i got a button that says mc donalds smie u fat fuck! then to mogels and took a quick look then to alterd native where i tooma quick look! then we went to acustic traditions looked blaock buster got pop doogans saw the puppies I WANT ONE!then to that varitey store by pizza hut and got chocolate back to acoustics where i got a guitar pick then off to hard core sounds again1 then we watched a band at teh festival then we went to the christian book store and hardcore sounds then off to the salvation army hardcore sounds then my mom picked us up! dosen't seem like much but it was! walking here there and everywhere all day it was fun!
i'm not sure if i mentioned this but photo page is up!!!!! yeah i finnaly added it it's different from the whole site! yeah alot different! like it dosen't have the same layout it dosen't rele have a layout just a background red nirvana font and pictures and a few links at the bottom!
yeah i had a head ache earlier and then my mom and i went to the grocery store and i forgot about it and it went away! yeah um what was ig onna say oh yeah i finally saw the new sum 41 video i love the song and the video is classic it rox!yeah i'm tired and have church in the morning but do i care NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! i dunno why but i don't wanna go to bed!hey u know what weird my mom adn i were the only 2 people at the concert today who had been at crownedking! yeah it was...odd!
ok um i want coffee i rele do right now all i want is coffee that and something to do!lol!
well i'm gonna go add more pics buh-bye
Gingerrrrrrrrrrr!lol srryO_o
sept 10th
mood-So fucking PMS
song-I'm not ok(i promise)-My chemical romance(ah ha i saw the video earlier it's so funny!)and um i dunno let's see......Armagedon-Alkaline Trio
lyrics-we're all to blame-sum41 i love that song!!!!1my moms seen the vid for it i haven't!
hey srry i'm explaining to taryn my buddy how to watch the new mcr video for i'm not ok on the myspace site!it's confusing! ok anyways yeah i'm so fucking bitchy and pms today it's not funny! BUT i did go to the tims on brodway with my friends and i got a bagel plain toasted with butter a donut boston cream!!!!!!!!!! and and english toffee cappacino!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I LOVE CAFFIENE! lol i'm a wired lil child*giggles*! speaking of giggles in the song for u know what they do to guys like us in prison the giggles are so fucking funny i'm sorry it's true! the song is such a homosexual song but it's so fucking funny! it's about homosexualness and prison! it's wicked!even tho i disagree with homosexualness!
i'm gonna start the photos page soon! i'm gonna add some that are of bands and shows not just ones of myself! cuz yeah i have to pics from the new mcr video and yeah they rock!it's wicked! i love that video taryn just brought up the part where it all starts 'wait u have something in ur eye" she leans in to kiss him and he picks something out that is funny!
then of course they had to bring in a sick sexual part where the guy unzips and u think he's gonna piss and all u see is two hooker boots drop down! dude that's just wrong honestly this prooves my theroy on how perverted the male mind is!fuck it's just messed up honestly girls don't think about that shit and the ones that do are usually sluts!so honestly people grow up!
ok um i dunno i'm wired i'm not like bouncing off walls but i'm al shaky and not tired.
Taryn and I ARE going to the concert tomorow morning! I'll be like half asleep and tired!yeah i might burn a cd tonight i want those bloody songs goddammit!so ican listen to em (the mcr ones) plus i want the new tea party song on a cd! like i onl;y buy cd's if I rele rele like the band! so yeah if i rele rele start to like the band after downloading tones of their shit i'll go but the album lol!
well i need to get a few more songs bye!
lov ya
GINGER the hyper kid!
the 9th again this is quick so the song mood and stuff is the same as earlier!
OK I'm not sure if you saw the enter page or well better word being heard but it plays the midi for rough draft!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I'm so fricken excited cuz i have been searching for the midi/mp3 for this song since i dunno around the time I started this website!!!! I love the song it is one of my fave songs EVER! so when i heard the midi earlier i rushed to find it and BOOM! i found it it's on my site i am the happiest kid on earth!!!!!!!! I love this song! well uh yeah that's all this is not todays entry it's just an announcement the entry is below that's all bye
Ginger
Sept 9 04
song-Pain-Jimmy Eat World, Predictable Good Charlotte
lyrics-it changes shape and shifts it takes you over-Tea Party Writings On The Wall, andI'm NOT O-FUCKING-K my chemical romance i'm not ok
omg i'm a gc fan again AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SAVE ME!!! sorry yeah i dunno after seeing the new vid and hearing the new song i was sucked right back in!grrrrrrrrrrr! well uh yeah! plus i love billy's haircut it's cute but yeah i love benji and joels hair aswell! I'm picky shut up all ugly girls are picky about guys lol!Yeah i like hair and teeth I'm sorry if a guy has rele shittyhair or bad dental hygiene that it sick! I AM SORRy but it is like i don't mind braces like ryan sheckler is an example! but for the whole braces thing it depends! but yeah good hair and good dental care are major turn ons lol! yeah but i'm ugly so like it matters what i think lol!
yeah tim hortons 2morow! for lunch a group of us are walking over to timmy's for lunch. YEAH!!!! COFFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sorry i love chocolate and cafiene! my two best friends lol!~ yeah um COFFEE! yeah it rained this morning grrr!i had to walk to school in the god dammmit rain adn my but was wet when i got to school well it's not rele a but tho as my one friend and i say it a flat chunk of meat between the back and the legs! for us atleast cuz we have flat asses! yeah but i don't care!it's a but it's made for shit to come out of i don't care if it's big or flat it's a but god people get over it! lol!yeah i'm kinda hyper and kinda not! i have the new tea party song on repeat i love it! i've never rele liked them well i've never rele payed attention when their on the radio and stuff so yeah! but i love this song! the video is cool to the colours and stuff rockz!
yeah my friend Tasha(the other flat ass) fell for the new kid lol but yeah w/e! every year atleast one peron in my friend group falls for the new kid lol it's tacky!
yeah um i'm rele bored! like rele rele rele rele rele bored. yeah as usal i got home but today no homework so i had dinner and now i'm bumming around the house i told you yesterday i have no life! my friends go and hang out together than i get to hear about how much fun they had so i'm the loner of the group the one who's friends with everyone in the group but isn't rele quite excepted fully into the group! so yeah w/e! i rele don't care to tell the truth the whole loner thing has grown on me and it dosen't bug me anymore. like the day i got kicked out of the house cryin and i hung out with 2 of them was the first time i'd hung out with them since i dunno like january at a laser dance when we all started fighting! that's like it! or wait no may at a birthday party we were all at! and i haven't hung out with them outside of school since so w/e!
anyways on to something that actually has meaning we took a survey in class today it was all like age adress phone number um what are ur fave subjects what are ur leats fave and all that stuff than a complete the sentence. one of the q's what do people think you are i put a freakish goth loser what do u want them to think you are -myself!then if you could meet anyone alive or dead who i put marilyn manson or adam lazzara! then if u could go anywhere in the world where i put california why cuz it's warm sunny great punk scene and hot topic. then i day dream about vampires, i like vampires music................ like i mentioned vampires a crap load of times lol!
i want my teachers to know i am not the average student that music makes my life go round and i love vampires and rele weird stuff! so w/e they will all think i'm a freak as well but i rele rele do not care!
so w/e fuck you all all you people who talk about me behinde my back and shit fuck you all i don't need or want your shit! so yeah fuck you!
yeah i was gonna try not to swear this year but it's rele not working out! so w/e!COFFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!sorry i love coffee all the caffiene has gone to my head that and the bleach from when i tried to die my hair pink in march and it back fired and i had to bleach it out then had to ,ive with it till last month!
well i guess thats all for today
luv ya
ginger
something isn't right i can feel it again feel it agian this isn't the first time that you left me waiting sad excuses and false hopes high i saw this comming still i don't know why i let you in!-gc
Sept 8th
Mood-kinda emotionless and a tiny bit depressed
song-you know what they do to guys like us in prison-MCR(i love this song it's so FUNNY), and Ashlee Simpson-Pieces of me!(it's catchy and it's stuck in my head)
lyrics-Tonight won't make a difference-TBS, a star up in the sky a poem to the dead let this mistake bring a vivid crystal to her eyes-A Static Lullaby
ANYWAYS yeah the second song for today shut up its catchy!Yeah well second day of school was today and i was surprised to find it wasn't the total shit hole i thought it would be. like today when all three classes were together the whole JERRY JERRY JERRY chant started so it always an adventure!
yeah it's weird tho last year before we all head off to ODSS! It's weird tho cuz i've gone to CMES my WHOLE life from Kindergarten to now! I've gone to the same school and i'm just so used to it i know my way around there better than i know my way around my bedroom(maybe cuz my bedroom is a shit hole)but yeah it will be creepy! but hey no more cmes yeah!
i'm scared of failing but i probably won't yeah my goldfish spanky (named after pro skater kevin long) died he went belly up and i watched it it sucked. but the other three ryan(sheckler) rodney(mullen) and kenny (south park) are still alive it was odd tho cuz after spanky died they all tried to eat him!it was weird!
yeah school is rele weird i can't get off the topic like 2 days in and it's already creeping me out! well yeah i plan to but the mcr cd cuz i'm so fucking obsessed with like 2 of their songs and if those 2 are good the rest of the album has to be goood!
ever heard the song greenday by the band greenday it's wicked! I rele like the song i know none of the words but w/e!YEAH thousadn foot krutch came on wicked awesome band! seriously like the music is wicked suggested listening phenominon, bounce, step to me, call out, they are all rele rele good songs! yes i'm using computer slang crap but it's easier for things like this!
god i have so many cds i want War All The Time, 3 Cheers For Sweet Revenge, Tell All Your Friends, ....And Don't Forget to breathe, one for the kids (i cannot find this album anywhere), the underdog(can't find it either) Watch Out Take This To Your Grave and a whole shit load of other cds! like music is my life i revolve my life around music! I listen to it none stop i write stories based on music or revolved around people starting up bands.honestly it's insane!I'm into Vampires Music and clothing design lol!
omg i want the matchbook romance cd too!
*sighs*my life is so lame honestly i get home do homework have dinner and bum around the house all night unless its tuesday cuz then it's get home do homework eat dinner then vocal lessons at 7 and guitar lessons at 8 then wait for my dad who has guitar at 830 i'd like to get the 730 guitar spot for guitar though because of babysitting so then i will never have to do a double lesson i have a hard enough time learning the stuff for a normal lesson (reading music is like read chinese or something for me i suck at it)so yeah!
i might be gettin my belly button done this weekend yeah i have a line up of shit stupid dance on friday at the arena(i go to them to get out of the house and hang with friends) the birthday at like 9 or 10 in the morning my friend and i are thinking of going to a concert at 1130 in the morning we're not sure then apparently there's some thing downtown we might check out then sunday up bright and early for church which goes forever then i'm not sure if it's this weekend but my parents go to crecant care to preach to the old people with their church group!ot lunch and then i have to work the belly button peircing in somehow GRRRRRRRRRR!
but yeah w/e! ,br>well i'm gonna go check somethings out on the internet before i go sit in my room and blare music and write dark poetry where put my depression into words!
love ya
Ginger =(
LIVE, LOVE, BURN, DIE!-Atreyu
Sunday Sept 5
mood-tired
song-You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison-My Chemical Romance, Absent Elements
lyrics-i viewed the sun 4 the last time-atreyu ,br>I saw interview with a vampire finaly! I liked it the blood the vampire thing it was a good movie and brad pitt wasn't a total retard in it either it was still sad when claudia burned up :( but w/e also i saw the passion I cried and i'm not ashamed to admitt it i cried watching the passion of the christ! but it was sad and brutal and it was just well sad. but it's true thats what happened to him :(
omg i'm wired omg school in two days and at 12 am it will be one day AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH save me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i want coffee no not coffee an english toffee cappacino! that would be good. omg meant to live by switchfoot just came on i love this song :D! it's a good song i like switchfoot they rock :D!I went shopping with my mommy we got groceries and school supplies :D it was cool! but yeah we made fun of eachother alot and she kept locking me out of the van i had a mint areo (how the fuck do u spell it) chocolate bar and i dairy queen chocolate dipped kiddie cone! but now i'm gonna have to go scrub the crap out of my face or i'll go back to school looking like a giant ZIT! :[ i do not like that thought but yeah w/e. notin much to talk bout is there well yeah w/e then
TTFN
Ginger!
Saturday Sept4
ok holy crap i am amzed i was just listening to that new simple plan song oh my gosh it is not simple plan i swear cuz it dosen't suck mainly cuz when ever they ask have u ever felt what it's like to........ i was able to sit and go yes so yeah it was almost like listening to my problems in a song so yeah it's amazing. now onto my other moods yeah i bought the book jesus freaks which is about martyrs and it tells stories and the first one was about the girl in columbine who with a gun to her head was asked do u belive in god and when she said yes he shot her.
which brings me to my question if some one held a gun to your head and asked are u a believer would u say yes and die for your god and what u believed in or would you be a coward and live on with the guilt that you had denied your god personaly i would say yes and die for my god and with my last breathe i would pray that god forgave my murder that it was afoolish mistake and that all humans make mistakes and that he would forgive my killer for their sin.
it's just so overwhelming i'm gonna watch the passion tonight apperently my dad was speechless as the movie ended that he'd read up on crucifixion and stuff but never really knew just how horrid it was until watching it! I'm telling you that movie should have won or should win every award it's nominated for and i haven't even seen it yet!
I do not conform i will not conform and be like everone else in their tight tight tops and way too low jeans and their crappy digitized pop music and lame excuse for a type of music rap music i refuse and i will not conform and call thesse people idols or gods because they are not. I worship one god alone the one and only god jesus christ yeah in my profile my pic is a whole thing i wrote out on my love for jesus and how i am a jesus freak.
omg bigapple heartbreak is playin on my comp! it's a good song not like a sappy love song i find it more amuzing than anything!
I GOT GOLDFISH 4 of em 2 are mine two are my lil bro's! I named mine Ryan (sheckler) and Spanky (dunno his real name).yeah we got them at wall-mart today. =) i have never had a gold fish or anykind of fish fort hat matter i've nly ever had a kitty-kat. yeah i saw a fish die today when we got to wal-mart and first started looking it was a live then a lil while later we were looking and it went belly up i was all upset then suddenly tho i was still upset i began to giggle and as sad as it was it was too funny somehow!
ok yeah i've started up a graphix site no link to this site will be posted until i get some crap on the site i'll need to get adobe photoshop 8 and jasc animation shop 3 first for making transparent things (so there's no lil white back ground and it blends with whatever background it's put before, and so i can make lil animations and also it makes better blogs and i don't have to use a blod coder to get them cuz the blog coder only allows u to have one box)
yeah i luv jesus he's my best buddy! like the lyric in the song jesus freak suits me "people say i'm strange does it make me a stranger that my best friend was born in a manger?" i love that lyric!
hey i like the song imaginary by evanescence too it's a damn good song. FUCK OFF evanescence is a good fucking band amy lee has more talent then alot of those shit head singersout their (female shit head singers)so yeah fuck you!!!!
um yeah omg i swear the other night i scared myself to death!i sear it must have been the fucking neighbours cat but i was sleepin in the spar bed room at the front of the house and i saw an eye peering in the window like a yellow eye like a cats eye or something but i was probably just the neighbours cat but it looked so fucking real i had to be i swear i didn't make it up!yeah it brings back childhood nightmares i shall explain
ok u know those dummies yeah i had dreams about this dummy and he hid in the insulation and he scared me for years like i'm just getting over my fear of it cuz it had tormented me since i was like 5 and goosebumps was my fave fucking show!then there's the lamp u know the pixar lamps well this one which is actually in my basement it was like that just rele tall andone of the rele old kinds. and i had a dream that i came down stairs and the lamp turned and looked at me with the lightbilb being its eye well it chased me to the back yard where this think that looked like java the hut just 10x bigger and made completely of mud!then of course are all the other dreams that have scared me. but yeah i was scared of that lamp till like grade 4 and the basement still scares the shit out of me cuz that's where all the worst ones were. like the thing in the sump pump room. god that thing i always look back at the sump opump room when i'm in the store room because it scared the crap out of me seriously. it was a tormenting nightmare!
yeah i'll only end uyp scaring the shit out of myself if i continue on with these childhood dreams that scared me soooooooooooooooooooooooooo much!
well ig uess that all 4 today
LUv Ya
Ginger =(
Wednesday Sept 1
holy fuck my guitar is so out of tune ewwwwwwwwwe.yeah my parents have my signed me up for lessons at acoustic traditions for guitar again!yeah i hate reading music so much i'm a person who over complicates shit like that!yeah i was gonna write yesterday but u know the damn thing froze and i wasn't typing all over again!
well yeah um there's rele not much to talk about today so this will be a very short post! god i had somuch yesterday tho! rele i did then it froze and i lost it all! omg school next week er i hate it! i rele rele do! yeah but u know what it's grade 8 top of the food chain! well anyways um i rele have nothing to talk about so that's all 4 today
luv yas
Ginger =[
Sunday august 29th??? i dunno
mood-happy/disapointed
,center>song-Sureshot-yellowcard or come out and play-the offspring
lyrics-god help me i'm so tired but in my dreams the wolves eat my soul god help me i'm so frightened but in my dreams the wolves taer out my heart(atreyu a vampires laments)or another day benath this cloudless sky sometimes i wish that it would rain here9yellowcard-backhome)
bam was there and so was manson (tee hee) yeah i love manson he was hot i'm srry i'm just a lil weird when it comes to taste in guys honestly i could never like a guy like justin timberlake or ashton kutcher but i always tend ot like guys like marilyn manson or the guy from atreyu! so yeah i'm rele messed up in the head!
FUCK everything is so loud right now like i have my music so low cuz it seems like it's so loud. like fuck i'm listening to incubus with the volume down thats unusaul for me well maybe not but still usually if it was this low i'd be like what the fuck is he saying but yeah right now it's like ahhhhhhhhhh my ears maybe it's cuz i'm tired!
I officially hate um who is it i hate again i dunno i just typed that down and completely forgot!i'm such a fucking retard!Ok but yeah back to school not! so i can have my so called friends harass my like they did last year but not all of them. just a few the ones who are constantly flirting and going out on dates yeah the harass me to feel better about themselves honestly. thats why being ugly buggs me sometimes cuz they harass me about being so fucking ugly(lol i have to laugh about that cuz i am) but hearing ur best friends say that kinda hurts. not to metnion they harass me for being the only one of my friends(all of my friends) to have never had a boyfriend! but u know i think that part is something to be proud of!honestly i'm proud of that fact! i seriously couldn't care about that. they'll date almost any guy that asks them out. but u know what that defeats the purpose ur supposed to find someone thats special that likes u and U like the TOO 9yes that means not going out with a guy just so ur not single *ahem* yes that means u _____________)anyways yeah and then see if their the right person and currently all the guys i know are assholes and i'd fucking stabb myself first so i'm proud of my ugly and single status!
holy shit for the first time in a long time last night i sat down and put on the cd ocean avenue! omg it was weird sad thing is it died at the beging of empty apartment! god dammit! yeah right now on the rogers/yahoo launch cast thingy i have it personalized so it plays the music i want and the song back home came on holy shit i love this song. and listening to it right now is like looking back at grade 7 or something. and i just love the song. so listening to all these yc songs and stuff is like finding a part of myself i lost or something it's rele hard to explain. but it's an amazing feeling.speaking of losing myself yeah before the lyric of the day said beneath this cloudy when it's cloudless so i think i've lost a whole bunch opf lyrics from the main frame. yeah right now i'm trying to burn simple plan and good charlotte lyrics so i can try and get the yc and atreyu and tbs lyrics to fit which may take a while cuz gc and sp devoured half of grade 6 and half of grade 7 so it may take a while9i want them out)!
wow!i am such a shit head i dunno why i said that i'm just so tired i'm babbling and it's fun cuz i'm getting all this shit i've had bottled up inside cuz i didn't wanna say it or cuz it was just to stupid for me to want to say!green day is back tho that's awesome finnaly a band to come back that dosen't suck like a couple bands that have made returns *cough beastie boys cough*ch check it out is getting on my nerves no its past that i'm at the point i'm ready to kill the fucking beatsie boys i just don't like them. i just don't!oh wow the vma's are on again i can watch yc rock out again =)that makes me happy!
yeah fall out boy's playing i love them the lyrics to their songs kick ass! like let's see 'i wish that i was invisible as u make me feel' so many times in the last few months (since may maybe)have i been able to sit there and that just came to mind or how about this lyric i find it funny 'so burry me ur memory his smiles ur rope so wrap it tight around ur throat' ah ha i love that one!my friend jenny don't tho!she's one of the ones that teases me so u know what when it rele starts to bug me i tease her with stuff or i say that! it's more fun teasing her with blink 182 stuff tho!she gets mad! she's also 5'7 and she's taller than me and she can beat me up thats the problem. i hate it tho she's 5'7 and born in april and i'm like 5'1 or something and born in february! well in april or something i was 5'1 so i'm just gonna say that =)!
OMG last summers song is playing good times!In this diary-the ataris i heard it at the beging of the summer when we still had much loud and then we lost much loud and i just kept randomly hearing it so yeah i loved that song. it was my song of the summer not fucking boys of summer that was not my summer song it just wasn't in this diary was mine vern tho no one noticed that song they only noticed the other one! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!omg yellowcard's gonna be playing soon i'll wait thill the stupid song the reason starts to reach the last few chords then i'm right out there dancing and singing to yellowcard!i have to make sure i'm 30 seconds into the song i was listening to on yahoo/rogers launch music thing or else i can't fucking pause it!
i hate stupid rules i rele do!like i dunno can't think of many rite now but there's tons of them!ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh the reason just started i hate this god dammit song!omg my cat looks like the one on the one blink 182 album just with more fur and lighter blu eyes!i luv my kittie. shit their almost done the song i think shit. fuck hurry up and get to the 30 second mark god dammit thing!hury the fuck up. srry. hee hee i just like typing i gotta run!I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! meh it was so much fucking better the first time arounf but it still rocked!i didn't sing this time tho and i didn't go as insane! well yeah i'm gonna go surf the internet again before i go to bed! so yeah!
luv ya
Ginger
They say this is the city the city of angels all i see is dead wings
Saturday once again
song-standing in the rain-billy talent! or Kids Of The Black Hole-Adolescents
lyrics-these are the words that tear you apart and these are the words that take you away-dead poetic, or so pase the stairs to ur apartment like its where you wanna be!-TBS!!!
yeah i went with taryn(roxxy) and katie and it was purty fun!we sat drank italian sodas and ate banana bread and watched a cover band then eventually got sick of it and went to tim hortons at both places making complete fools of our selves and laughing our heads off. it wasn't till we were in tim hortons that we began to randomly begin singing various billy talent songs and mumbling the words we couldn't remember!quite fun to tell the truth.then i did something completely immature and i swear it was the sugar cuz like 10 minuted later i was like what the hell did i do that for. yeah we drove past a bunch of people we didn't know(we're sure the were dudes) and my mom being a retard honked the horn so living in the moment and being a complete fucking retard i stuck my head out the window and yelled "love you" so whoever i yelled that at i'm rele srry! i was rele rele hyper and wasn't thinking straight and i fully regret it!
who knew that it was so hard to find one damn song in a list of 102 songs! like i am a victim to downloading plus imesh is fricken awesome and until i've heard over 4 songs on a bands cd i won't buy it so downloading is good! but i won't get into that argument right now!ANYWAYS yeah i have a cd with 198 songs on it and all those songs got deleted after i burned the cd. now i have 102! anyways yeah i'm searching for the song santaria and can't find it low and behold i've past it a dozen fucking times. i swear the bleached did something to my brain even tho my hair is purple now the bleach did something!
MuchMusic is full of crap heads!!they called sublime one hit wonders rele i do not see it yes their lead singer died before the release of the cd but still they had more than one fricken hit.one hit my ass its mainly cuz their a bunch of pop culture shit heads! and they only focuse on shit and the od time some good stuff!they've only just added taking back sunday! still no atreyu for a long time no yellowcard and i've yet to see a fucking thursday video even tho thursday is listed in the video thing. plus they don't have the video for the work force drowning listed the damn retards. also no fall out boy, no sugar cult. they are a bunch of shit heads! fuck they know more about britney spears then they do them selves!
fuck i will never do to my kids what my parents do to me never. fuck they sit up stairs and fuck their brains out while i'm down stairs and all i hear is squeak squeak over and over. god and my room is right next to theirs so i'm trying to sleep and all i here is thump oohhhhhhhh oooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh like please not now wait till i'm at a sleepover or i'm not around to hear it but god i don not need to hear that shit! FUCK!!!! I hate it i swear the minute we get the basement fixed up enough u can go down there and just lounge around with out needing a fucking shot i'm moving my room down there plus then i can blare music at night without them caring!!!!!
ok then yeah i have this weird obsession with a god dmmit fork. i don't know why first it was nice for eating with now that it's getting old it has a new purpose. i swear i sit and poke myself with the fork. i just sit with the fork poking my arm mainly when i'm listening to music or watching tv cuz it is damn hard to type and poke ur self with o fork at the same time!!!
*sighs* aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i'm so fucking bored. yeah me and my friends we book sto\uff and go ok on this day we're doing this ok do not make plans. our latest plan is for sept 11th we're going to a concert in the morning behind the town hall or something(i'm not good with locations) like first it was just gonna be taryn and katie going cuz i had a revernds birthday to go to then some god dammit reunion @ canadas wonderland. as it turns out we're going to the birthday at like 7:00 in the morning till like 9:00 and i don't have to go to the camp thing if i don't want to. i have to say i'd rather go to a fucking britney spears concert than wonderland. so yeah and we just tend to book things weeks ahead cuz we're stupid@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ ok srry about all the lil at signs those should be !!!!!!!'s but i'm to lazy and tired rite now to erase them. yeah i'm planning everything rite now i'm going to a concert with my friends on sept 11th and then i'm going to the wast 49 canadian open on ummm.............one second oh here it is october 1,2,and 3rd!
ok i'm bored with talking about shit like well the shit i was talking about and i'm moving on!Oh i have an idea KILL THE WHINEY emo kids. like i don't mond some emo like not all of it sucks some of it is good and it may be a lil sad or touching or what ever but i hate the fucking whine whine whine emo! ohhhhhhhhh my girlfriend dumped me ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh i can't live anylonger.yeah i talk about suicided but i don't whine about it i just say how i feel and move on i don't whine and try and get everyone's attention i just write down how if feel if no one cares ok if one person cares cool i rele don't give a shit!yes below in older posts it may seem like i'm whining teying to get attention but i'm not this is my fucking on line journal i'm just journaling how i feel.
ok moving on. only like a week or so left till school i won't be updating as frequently then. cuz i'm going into grade 8 (yeee haaaaaaaaaaaa last fucking year at god dammmit C.M.E.S)and yeah i'm gonna get fucking crap loads of homework and i'll be so fucking busy getting that done. not to mention the fucking 50 or so page essay on the book i am david. fuck the book is so tiny how can u write a fucking 50 page essay ont aht fuck. i hate this the sooner i'm out of school the better thats why i'm gonna work really fucking hard this year and then try and make the next 4 fucking years go by as fast as possible awwwe shit but then there's after high school education and i'm gonna have to go throug college or university!cuz i'll get no where in life if i don't and my parents won't let me not go. like what else is there i have to go the only thing i've rele got going for me is i love clothing design like i've always loved drawing but most of the drawing i do have outifts that i like but never see in stores so clothing design is just cool in my life. but more like cute lil gothic dresses and skirts, pants with the vinyl strapps across the back and stuff and a whole crap load of shit like yeah u can find that stuff in stores but i have specific lil details so w/e. plus other than fashoin design there's rele nothing else i could ever have a career in.
like in grades 4-6 and part of last year i've had this obsession with singing in grade 4 and five it was like lil poppy girl band singing shit then in grade six i started taking lessons and it was then thinking of starting a band with my friend la. then this year it was la betty tash maybe?? and i wgo were but then we all kinda realized there really is no career in music and only one in a million bands ever make it big so we all kinda gave up i still sing but as a fun pas time and ven tho i tried learning to play guitar i over complicate things i get bored easily and readin music is my worst enemy like in singing i learn by ear and u rele can't always do that with guitar one of of 5 times u can do that but not often so naw. i'll probably stick with clothing design or mayve web design i still can't make websit elayouts but i've already learned how to make things like blogs, backgrounds, and stuff so web design rele isn't that bad. plus with that stuff it's all kinda behinde the scenes i guess cuz with fashion design ur the designer ur not the model. and plus with stuff like singing and that u need confidence and u need to be outgoing. i am the least confident person on earth and i'm am so shy it's not funny. i can barely even hold a conversation with family members. evn my aunt who baby sat me from when i was a couple months old to when i was like 8 or 9. i just keep getting more shy as the years go by. so i'm better with the stuff where u don't need that kind of confidence!
new topic good charlotte what happened? like when lifestyles came out i was sucked right in they were good i went out got the cd loved it then sunddenly BOOM they were everyones favourite you couldn't turn a corner without seeing good charlotte somewhere and they gradualy sold out and the fame went right to their heads so i don't know. they just fucked everything up it's either that or i was just rele fucked up back then that's probably it!
ok now i've been meaning to get to thsi topic for a while. god in every single chat this topic is there even my parents talk about this. the american government and everything. fuck errr it's getting annoying like u'll see vote kerry bush isn't my president or vore bush kerry's and idiot honestly people shut the fuck up. they're both idiot no matter who wins the world will suffer cuz of it! if bush wins o yeah world war 3 if kerry wins it might as well be. like god their both idiots.i say screw them both put someone smart in the running put bono i don't fucking care about the rules. there would be a good leader come on if arnold 9they fucking retard0can become a governer bono would be an amazing fucking president.like he'd actually do something smart rele.
well ebough abbling about everything i'm getting tired of typing so that's about it for now =]!
GO VEGETARIAN
ginger*yawns*
hello there the angel from my nightmare the shadow in the background of the morge the unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley.............................
Saturday August 28th
lyrics-i hate everything about you-three days grace,kill me while i still belive that u were meant for me-yellowcard
This si weird as u may or may not know yellowcard is my fave band and well my fave song of all time other than punk rock princess by something corporate is rough draft by yc! and holly crap it has been ages since i've just sat down and listened to it!why is it everyone hates yellowcard these days really like at school everyone hates them pretty much and if u even mention them in chat it's like omg they suck blahblah blah blah! SHUT UP!!!!!! they do not suck. ok i just neede to get that out. omg as i sit here poking myself with a fork again i'm just totally weirded out. i can't believe it's been this long since i've sat and listened to this song!Like i walked the track singing this and the song the underdog with taryn one gym period and then i just threw it to the back of my mind!and now sitting and listening to it is like i don't know i can't explain it.
this song makes me sad tho as so many songs do. if u've ever been to this site before you may know that i have no confidence and very low selfesteem and that i'm also very depressed and suicidal so certain songs the lyrics just kinda make me sad. songs like *ahem*
rough draft-yellowcard
only one-yellowcard
the anthem of out dying day-story of the year
hello-evanescence
hold on good charlotte(i know they suck but i can realte god dammit)
i feel so-box car racer
there is-box car racer
adams song-blink 182
stay together for the kids-blink 182
the shooting star that destroyed us all-a static lullaby
this photograph is proof-taking back sunday
new american classic-taking back sunday
punk rock princess-something corporate
promise-matchbook romance
one in a million-crowned king
what it is to burn-finch
yeah i'm fucked up in the head I knwo. but if u look carefully most of these songs are about A.Suicide B.love songs or C.rele shouldn't make you that sad. yeah well i'm depressed so suicide songs kinda make me sad,2. i'm ugly like even tho i really enjoy being ugly sometimes it just gets to me. and it rele sux sometimes especially when some of my fave spongs are fucking sappy love songs!3 well i don't know i have no confidence low selfesteem and i'm one of those dreamer types and i swear verytime i read the fucking horoscope i ant to kill the person u know being a pisces sucks cuz the damn person is fucking right about ut god dmmit personality. "oh ur creative, oh ur a dreamer oh ur a hopeless romantic" i swear i'd like to burn the fucking horoscope. so yeahi'm just fucked up in the head.
i have rough draft on repeat and i don't know right now i am completely emotionless cuz i rele don't know what to think. fuck i hate theses moments. well thats all for now i guess it is on'y like just after 12:30 in the afternoon so w/e!
I'm afucking retard
Ginger =]
"don't try to fix me i'm not broken hello i'm the lie living for you so u can hide don't cry..............."
P.S if u have and guitar chords(chords not tabs i can barely fucking play guitar chords tabs is a bunch of fucking gibberish in my mind)for any of the fllowing taking back sunday songs please please e-mail them to ruby_gloom27@hotmail.com
Cute without the e
your so last summer
timberwolves at new jersey
a decade under the influence
or set phasers to stun!
that's all thnx!
Friday the 27th of august
song-still waiting-sum41, and amargedeon-alkaline trio
lyrics-dressed for the funeral in black and white these ties strangle our necks-thursday, and people call me strange does that make me a stranger cuz my best friend was born in a manger-DC TALK
hey guys i'm feeling much better today i'm not sure if i talked about ti last night but i was rele rele depressed srry!yeah but there is one good thing about being depressed it rele helps with creativity i wront a song that didn't totally suck last night and i got most of the idea from it from being depressed and it was sorta about death and blood! cuz that wat interests me!
claw my way out pick the splinters from under my finger nails i won't lose hop i won't give insrry it's from one of my fave songs the crimson.fuck if u haven't heard any of the following songs go download them or buy the damn cds!
A Vampire's Lament
The Crimson
bleeding mascara
this flesh a tomb
lipgloss and black
right side of the bed
all those songs are by atreyu i juts had to put afew of the song names out cuz after u've heard hese songs ur hooked andf if ur not then you have no taste in music!!!but anyways yeah i love writing songs about death its what interests me. death and all the possible causes of it and all the posible ways to harm urself. that may be why my goth name is necrotic freak! yeah on thios goth name generator my name came up as necrotic freak. if a piece of skin is necrotic it's dead. so i am a dead freak!its kinda of funny how a stupid name rater could be so correct about something!
ur own personal jesus someone who can hear ur prayes someone who caresi love that song the manson version its the best tho!
i love the song. well anyways its raining and power kight go down so i have to end it hear i'll update after the dance tonight
luv yas
ginger =)
Thursday again
song-a decade under the influnce, or finch what it is to burn
lyrics-I'm not O-Fucking-K(mcr),I'll bite my tounge until blood soakes my shirt(soty),Reach out and touch faith(mariltn manson),l of the song without you here, and finnaly They will roll over and over and over again And another lonely pacifist lying in the sun There is no ground control... MAYDAY! Breathe not a word of this Quiet, quiet confidence The time has come to face this We all must bear witness(finch)
omg i saw the premier of the new manson video for personal jesus which is a depeche mode cover. but i prefer manson. omg manson looks so hott in the new video seriously he just does. anyways yeah the new album is comming out september 28th??? yeah well i'll be buying it. i love manson and he's so fucking hot in the new video fro personal jesus but thta's just besides the point. i think i'm gonna go stabb my eyes out. i'm just so fucking upset depressed ad right now obsessed with blood!
like i've always had an obsession with vampires and blodd but honestly i have to thank atreyu for bringin the vampiricness out. like even tho i've always been obsessed since i've started to listen to atreyu i haven't felt like such a freak for it an also i've rele thought into it more and i'm so obsessed. so yeah thanks to atreyu for making vampiricness and screamo work together it rocks.
ha i will never get boerd of talking about blood and vampires. shit it's times like these i forget i'm vegetarian i'd rather be a vampire and prey on human blood and flesh than be anormal human and eat animals so i just don't eat animals and i be myself.even tho if i were able to rele be myself i would be ginger. but fuck i'd like to stop talking about my vampire obsession but can't seem to.
i have this strange need to cut myself. i dunno why i just feel like i have to. it would be fun but i don't want ot. something inside is telling me to but my brain is going no ur mom will fucking kill you dumbass.t yeah i rele wanna watch myself bleed it would be soooooooooooo fun
o yeah i'm not pissed at taryn anymore i'm over it it was like a 10 second fuck i hate you thing!ell yeah anyways fuck i need councelling but i hate councellours. they all say ur fine and that they understand and that they'e there to help u. FUCK NO they don't fucking understand and if i was ok i wouldn't be there and oh yeah ur not there to help ur there to fucking get payed. errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. fuck u. srry i hate councellors. i rele do.
well yeah i wanna talk about BLOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so u know what i'm gonna go for now laters!
luv ya's
Ginger =[I'm ugly its awesome=)
I viewed the sun for the last time
Thursday August 26?
yeah i woke up this morning as i hit the floor. I slept in the spare bedroom bed again had some rele weird dream then woke up as i was falling then hit my back on something.yeah my brother who'd crawled in in the middle of the night i guess stole my fucking blanket so when i was about to fall i had nothing to grab onto the stupid lil ass!
yeah i found this site today and u can send it to people u hate if u go to google type in FUCK YOU and then there'll be this site called go fuckyourself then send the link to everyone you hate. it's quite amuzing rele!
yeah i'm fucking boerd as hell today. my mom went back to work today he holidays are over so i'm stuck hanging with my brother and his annoying best friend all fucking day. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!so i've been up since fucking 9:37 this morning fuck i'm tired i think i'm gonna die. if only i hadn't fucking fallen out of bed i'd still be a sleep. but i had to have a shower this morning anyways so w/e getting up early isn't that bad. awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwe fuck i had my shower before 9:37 so i've been up longer.
yeah i'm officially vampire obsessed i dunno i had an obsession with vampires since the third grade when we thought a guy in our class was one. then after my dad had his heart attack i spent a lot of time hanging with my neighbour who used to be one of my best friends but now he's a fucking wigger asshole! anyways i had n64 and there were these 2 games castlevania (the original to castlevania games all the new ones suck ass)and the thing had to do with vampires and stuff. thats when my obsession with vampires increased. and now i'm a full out vampire fan. readin book after book, watching movie after movie, and writing story after story abiut vampires.
I don't know it's just the whole vampiric way of life fasinates me. like the only thing i'd change is vampires can go out in the day, the can wear crucifixes and aren't so satanic, and they can be seen in the mirror that's all i'd ever change about it. the whole blood sucking thing, and consuming of the victims flesh i don't mind i find it cool. and the whole able to turn into a bat kinda bugs me but i don't mind, and i also find the fact that the go around at night preying on the mortal humans is interesting because of the fact i love the dark, and dark stuff. like i sit up at night just staring out my window at the pitch blackness. it just seems so lifeless which is about the way i feel inside lifeless so the dark is best. also when i sit and look out at the pitch blackness i feel alone which is my fave feeling. the feeling that i'm alone it creeps me out a bit but i've always been alone when i'm with my family i'm still alone when with friends or at school i still feel so alone so the darkness fits me. not the fucking band but the actual darkness. and vampires are creatures of the dark.plus the have the gift of immortal life. they never die and yeah u hear about people stabbing them with steakis and stuff but i live in orangeville everyone would think it was a strange disease or something!
anyways yeah i love the whole vampiric thing. and so thats who ginger is my alter ego the person i would be in a perfect world. but i'm just me i'll nevr be ginger as much as i'd like to be. ginger is just a made up iddentity i made up to hide from the real world with. because i hate the real world. so full of war and poverty and unfairness. so lame nothing exciting just plain and thats what i hate things should be better. yeah well the laserdance it tomorow they're lame and play sucky music but i'm going with friends just to hang out and watch them dance with guys. me i don't no. first of all i'm ugly second of all all the guys there are assholes who the only taste buds they have are in their asses!and third dancing is a waste of time honestly i'd rather just sit and watch my friends have a good time. yeah it depresses me but i need to be depressed. depression is like a drug once it's started it never goes away and u can'get rid of it. I'm permantley depressed i may be happy sometimes but deep down inside depression is lurking just waiting to spring up. like it tears u up and then hides and then when ur finnaly getting better and becoming happy agian it springs up out of hiding and then ripps u to shreds and u have to start all over agian. like i went had the time of my life at the crowned king concert hanging out with my mom listening to good music, and buying buttons, and band merch and then a few days later it came back and now i'm back at start!
so yeah i'm listening to the crimson agian it's kinda depressing fro me. but i love it it's so dark and gothic and has vampiric content as most of the songs on the new album do!But i've beased one of my vampire storys on the crimson, ain't love grand, the crimson and a couple other atreyu songs. that's before i realized how vampiric the songs were. like anne rice being a hug vampire writer according to my mom so yeah now that i know how vampiric the band is it's almost funny that i'm writing a vampire story based on a bunch of those songs. yeah i strated a new vampire story last night. it'm more fantasy vampire tho like the character lives on earth just earth is more fantastical eith things like vampires and things like mutated beasts, and werewolves. yeah i strated played a rpg called shadow hearts it takes place on earth in the like 1913 or something. but they have things like worlocks and exorcists and right now i'm in an area where everyone is a canibal but they're actualy cat people disgiused as humans. yeah i'm not playing right now but thats where i saved! yeah so i'm into that shit like finalfantasy and shadow hearts. like right now games i've been playing are kingdom hearts final fantasy X and shadow hearts. only cuz i'm into the bs. i prefer shadow hearts tho cuz it's darker and kuz it's not as pathetic and lil kid ish! a rele good game that i rented on winter break was Bloodrayne which is all about a nazi, mutated spider killing vampire. so yeah i'm into the vampire thing. i also bought castlevania what ever it's called the new one and anyways it's a piece of shit. honesly it sux the graphics cheap the story isn't that bad but yeah it sux. compared to the originals on N64 these games are shit. if ur into the castle vania stuff and u have a n64 and u've never played the original 2. then go rent or buy them they are so much better. than those shitty squels excuses.
yeah well enough about that um what is there to talk about. well i rele don't feel like talking about my geeky video game addiction especially since i play geeky games like final fantasy kingdom hearts ssx3 and stuff. god it's not my fault. i got stuck when i got the original nintendo not to mention my grandparents had super nintendo and supermario so i played that a hell lot. then came the n64 and the ps2. so rele it's just that i've been surrounded by video games 4 so long that now i'm kinda stuck. plus that way i can play the vampire games and escape into my own reality. but i'm gonna stop talking about this cuz now i'm pissing myself off.
oh god there is nothing to fucking talk about it's 11:57 in the morning. i'll talk later about the rest of the day cuz there is nothing to talk about rite now!
luv yas
Ginger =[
Wednesday august 25?
Yeah I got the new Atreyu cd today it kicks ass! If u haven't noticed my lyrics are from Atreyu songs (This Flesh a Tomb, and The Curse)Yeah all the lyrics are very dark which is awesome. Also my mom has started to belive i'm in to santanic bands. Atreyu from my poitn of view is not satanic more vampiric not satanic!but i don't care i'm in to all that vampire shit i think it rox. even tho i am a vegetarian(and vampires tend to drink blood and are carnivorus!)i still think it rox. all the blood and the darkness to it is awesome!
yeah like my alter ego Ginger(ginger isn't my real name) is very vampiric. only cuz i'm into that stuff! mostpeople call those people role play people i call it a fricken alter ego Ginger is not my fucking role play personality! Ginger is the fucking person i would be if i wasn't myself. well now that you know that moving on!
but i've always found the whole vampire thing quite amuzing. i started read dracula but i'm very boerd so far. he's just gotten on the carriage to take him to draculas land, and so far it's borin. its not at all what i expected i expected more like a thrilling vampire story that drags u in at the very begining and then you can't put the book down until u've read the last sentence! if u haven't noticed i read alot that there may have told u. lately i haven't cuz i haven't been able to find the right book. i've read 2 of the gossip girl books but that's just not my type of reading. i like the stuff with the vampires, and that stuff. mainly cuz reality is boring and these world full of night creatures, and blood suckers, and beats, and demons are so much more exciting. i think the world would be better with actual vampires who get there life source from the darkness, and who feed off blood and the meat of their victims. yeah i'm a freak i know!
anyways yeah um what is there to talk about. i'm taking afew of the photos off the about me page and adding a lil thing on my alter ego so there'll be an about me and then below an about ginger becuz ginger is what makes up this site. i end the entries with the name ginger. deep inside i am ginger the dark person its just the real me could never be ginger i don't know why it's just it could never happen. mainly cuz she's vampiric, and they don't exist. so yeah! fuck i keep going back to the vampire thing don't i yeah i do. well that's what i read, i watch movies about. and that's what most of my stories i right include.I have one about a girl who's slowly becoming a vampire, one who becomes a werewolf, and one that was bitten by some creature, and is slowly devoloping the creatures habbits, like at the begining she kills her boyfriend and eats most of him. so yeah i hate reality and al this dark blood craved mythical stuff is my reality. but i am not into stuff like elves or hobbits. lord of the rings and harry potter sucks so not that shit. or dragons that shit is stupid. it's the real dark gothic stuff like the vampires i like.
like jack the ripper is one of my fave horror stories. he walked the streets of london and cut up prostitutes and then he wrote a letter to the police in one of his victims blood that he'd gotten from one of the organs he's ripped out of her. and the fact that he was a real man was fucking awesome. i'm srry like i will never become a serial killer cuz i'd never be able to do that to anyone but stillit's so interesting.now that we're all aware of the fact i'm a fucking freak moving on.
yeah some girl has the same fucking skateboard as me just diff wheels. pink grip purple bam deck bam trucks it pisses me off.Oh speaking of skate boarding i'm going tothe west 49 canadian open yeah sheckler will be ther *swoon*!!!!!!! i'll put a review on the concert oage i know it's not a concert but deal with it that were its going. i won't give a review of every single skater and every single event but an overall review. by the way in the world street rankings ryan sheckler is in 5th place yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!and buckey lasek is in first for world vert rankings yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!srry buckey's a good skater so that's why i brought that up. well yeah i'm gonna go work on the about me page. only 2 pictures are gonna stay there. the 2 from camp the other rele old ones are going buh bye. when i get my scanner working i'll scan some good ones and then actually get the photo page working!
luv ya's
Ginger!!!!!!!!!!!
monday again
hey i'm bac yeah today was good i'm trying to find the glasses i like cuz i need em they're really sweet glasses not nerdy ones like cool punky almost ones. well anyways yeah i'm going shopping at the bramelie city center in brampton with laura tomorow. yeah taryn and i not long after the post logged off then went watched the omen then at like 5 30 got to sleep!then woke up at 11 had breakfast and then she had to leave. yeah but the omen is such a fucking funny movie the kid when they're going up to the church he's just like "mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"it's so fucking funny. then the psycho lady who's rele his mother god she's creepy but so fucking funny. she's jsut like i have come to protect the! and then the ugly piece of shit gets the crap beaten out of her later. but the kid damien he's one mest up mother fucker!by the way if ur on neo-pets i'm lil_emo_goth NOT gothic_tears27 i gave up on gothic_tears27 awhile back i will be updating but lil_emo_goth is my account that i use frequently. so yeah =[ i boerd. ,br>luv yas
Ginger=[
monday august 23
hey it's almost 1 30 am. i'm here with one of my best friends taryn. were purtty much doin nothin and talkin to her friend steve! well yeah there are these asshole alex, and some other due who calls himself mr.crapperz who needs to get a fucking life. they're stupid assholes! well eyah were listening to atreyu and talkin on msn. hey we got a 16 year old at timhortons phone # tonite with my buddy jenny!yeah so she's all happy now. yeah i live in the o-dot home of rappists and druggies. i'm niether tho. well anyways yeah i dunno what to say i'm so fucking brain dead right now. ok yeah we saw the most fucking funny video today. it's called rjected and it's all cartoon. anyways it starts with the stick dude with a tiny cereal bowl, and a fucking huge spoon! and he goes my spoon is to big in the most fucking funny voice he then says that 3 times then out jumps a banan who just stands there then goes I AM A BANANA! it so fucking good. as much as i do not want to advertise this site it on mc-steve.com.(it's taryn that likes steve NOT ME). well yeah um i'm bored so w/e!
luv yas
ginger
and i open blood shot eyes into florecent white flip the siren hit the lights close the doors and i am fine-thrice!!!!!!!!!!
Sunday August 22 04
Mood-still excited from last night!
song-turn it up, impatience, and don't wanna go by crowned king, and a bunch of songs by the pylons!
lyric-Are you with me(from turn it up by crowned king)and who see this letter as a statement of our innocence(from letters to the president by hawk nelson).
Last night was so awesome. my mom and i went to a concert in caledon east. some good bands that played are the pylons, grand skam, green division and o course crowned king. OMG i signed up for the e-mail list and got 3 free crowned king stickers, and i wanted to get one signed so my mom asked the girl at the booth and the girl was really nice and went around and got all the guys signatures except 4 one who had disapeared. but still it was so awesome. cuz it was like being in a gym almost and there was no barerres and no security gaurds and stuff only the drummer had a stage. so the only thing seperating the crowd from the band was a wire taped to the floor. i'll put a full review on one of the pages i might even make a page for concert reports!!!!!!
but it was the best way better than the good charlotte, mest, something corporate concet!well yeah i got like 7 buttons there a see's the day button, a grand skam button, a skate for cancer, a rockers 4 knockers, and 3 crowned king buttons!Plus a crowned king t-shirt, the 3 free stickers, and the button for my friend taryn who had a performance and couldn't make it! well i'll have the concert report up soon ok !
luv yas
Saturday august 21
Modd-fucking nervous
song=bleeding mascara-atreyu,this is halloween-nightmare before christmas
lyrics=just live and breathe tryn not to die again,the silouhette of your own face becomes the black cloud of war
well not going to warped tour sucked ass. but yeah. i'm so god damn nervous my voice exam is today. i've been practicing for months god it's my grade 3 voice exam i never did my first or third though.lol. well yeah i went to get the atreyu cd at hardcore sounds today it's fucking sold out. dammit. BUT i got a free atreyu bumper sticker that i put on my binder. and for 3 dollars I got a jack from nmbc button, a thrice button, and an atreyu button. i'm gonna get more next time. i luv buttons. well i couldn't get the atreyu cd cuz it was sold out but i went to the christain book store(it's right beside hardcore sounds)and got the hawk nelson cd FINNALY!!!! yeah it's good but i was just listening to every lil thing it's way different. i downloaded in july and it's way different than the one on this cd. both versions are good though. letters to the president is a damn good song tho. well yeah i am so fucking nervous eating breakfast was torture cuz i felt like i'd puke if i didn't eat but i'd puke if i did. so yeah. confusing. next time I go to hbardcore sounds thou i'll probably get a tbs button, a soty button, and i dunno what other one i'll get. but they have so many buttons and my mom and her friends were looking and laughing at all of the dirty ones. they have one that says murder king lol go vegetarian biatch. lol well yeah i'm getting my belly button peirced at the alternative later this month. god my mom was like well it's still swimming season, i'm like god dammit i can't even go swimming i have fucking purple hair the chloren will be stripped out. WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!srry i'm listening to the hawk nelson cd and there's this song i downloaded by them called freeway that goes have all my questions been ignored what am i livin this life for, and in this song on the cd called right here it goes have all my questions been ignored this time i'm walking out the door. well whut the fuck u don't rip lines from other songs u've recorded it's bullshit.it's just shit god they ripped a line from one of their own fucking songs. it's bull shit i'm srry. oh if my spelling rele sucks today it's cuz i'm so fucking nervous, and i can't type right.well w/e. i'm rele waiting for my dad to hook up the damn scanner like i've got so many awesome drawings well not awesome but so many drawings to put on the site. problem is i drew this rele cool anime portrait of ryan sheckler that's rele cool but i don't wanna put it on the website.why u ask oh let's see i don't trust people even if u think it sux u know what there are ryan sheckler fans who wouldn't care it's still of him. well u know what i probably will put it on the site do u know why???? cuz no one ever visits the damn site. do u know how i know the fucking guestbook there's like one from me one from some girl i dunno a unch from taryn just using diff names, and one from this girl from at school who i dunno why she ven posted that cuz she's part of the popular crowd and never talks to me so w/e eh!
well i'm boerd and my typing is god awefull i'm hitting all the wrong keys so luv ya's
GINGER =)
Mood-Happy(its raining I luv rain)
Song-for the workforce drowning or the crimson
lyrics=my heart is dead and so are u
hey guys. it's me i'm back and in love with the band atreyu. but unfortunately i'm gonna be gone 4 the next few days up in wiarton visting grandfolks who have no it connection. ok so the sheckler shrine is updated tons of hot new pics lol. and the music does play metallica now srry i had the wrong song there for a while that wasn 't even them it was messed up but now it is metallica.
omg u know what is so sweet on freewebs.com/apoemtothedead my graphix site theres a glitter names page 9run by someone else) and the made me this sweet glitter name it dosen't glitter it's all gothic though and sweet!
well um yeah I gtg burn a cd finish packing and watch nightmare on elm street luv you gys!
Ginger
*1. Denial
2. Bargaining
3. Anger
4. depression
5. Acceptance
HA PROOF
Info from ontariopunk.com
,center>Hey did u read the secong lyric of the day from the song ain't love grand. LOL I think it's funny the first line of the song is cool too.Oh fuck it the whole damn song is wicked awesome the lyrics rock. I think they're almost funny. Like the one line that's my lyric of the day I love the line. It's funny in my mind. Hey so I'm really thinking about going goth I like the look plus once my hairs purple it'll rock. Yeah I want purple hair before warped tour man. Gome on purple hair is the best. Like deep purple not mark from blink 182 in the josie vid I mean like really deep purple. So it almost looks black when it's not. I HATE being a blonde god everyone thinks ur stupid plus I look like such a poser with friken blonde hair. ewwwwwwwwwwwe Avril has blonde hair now GAG ME PLEASE!!! I hate myhair it's official.
,center>if people came here then I'd be in a padded room right now seeing a shrink regularily until i died cuz they'd be scared to leave me alone. Did u know that I have suicide all planned out. Really if I were to slit my wrist i have it all planned out exacly how i'd do it. if I hung myslef I have it planned out how I'd tie the knot everything. IF ANYONE CARES. IF ANYONE HAS A REASON I SHOULDN"T A REASON THAT I SHOULD LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE just e-mail me ruby_gloom27@hotmail.com. I'll tell u I will get no e-mails none cuz no one cares everyone wants me to kill myself cuz they alll hate me u all do everyone. though none of u will ever read this i'm telling u now.
well I'm not gonna kill myslef tonight but maybe some other day