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Poems of Gothica Angel
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8/25/03
I wish there was a place
That I could go
Where I would be free to do anything
A place with no worries
Where I could run for miles
Feel the grass between my toes
The wind on my face
The sun on my skin
Where I could look up and see
The sun amongst the clouds
The stars and the moon at night
Where I could see for miles
With no worries
No fears
Nothing sad to think about
Nothing to cloud my mind
Where I would be free to release my emotions
Where I could scream and shout
As much as I want
With no loneliness
With no worries
With no sadness
With all happiness
With pure freedom
Where I could sprout wings and fly
Off into the distance
And feel so light
And feel so free
And feel so happy
For the rest of my life
8/13/03
What can I do to help?
There must be something, anything
I wish I could help her out somehow
Why does she seem to drift farther away
When all the more I pray?
I want to help her, God
I thought that her life was getting better
Am I missing something, some big step
That may have possibly helped her?
I don’t know what to do
I want to help, but how?
Oh God, why is this life so hard?
I don’t understand
Please help her, God
Help her to see You
Help her to know who You are
And please free her from her demons
I care so much about her
I don’t want to see her hurt anymore
I want her to be in heaven with You someday
Away from the pain & suffering
8/9/03
Some people create great art
Some are born natural poets
Some can write music easily
But what can I do?
Some people love to play sports
Some enjoy other activities
Some people love to read
But what interests me?
Some people plan to have families
Some want a business career
Some will be missionaries far away
But what does my future hold?
Some people are gifted in one thing
And love their gift with a passion
They use that gift to please God
But what is my gift?
I don’t know what I can do with my life
I have no great interests so far
I don’t know how to plan my future
I don’t know what God has gifted me with
I wish I knew what to do
I wish I had more interests
I wish I knew how to plan my future
I wish I knew my gift
6/21/03
I feel so lonely
I don’t know why
I spend time with friends
But it isn’t enough
I feel like I’m the only one
Who puts effort into friendships
Sometimes, however,
They do try a little,
But it never seems to be enough
I care so much about everyone
I wish they cared more about me
Some of them do seem to care some about me
But it isn’t enough
I need a friend who will talk to me constantly
Who will want to spend time with me
I’m sick of being the one to invite them
I wish that they would invite me
Some of them say that they will invite me
That they will ask to spend time with me
But of course they never do invite me
Like they said they would
I miss having a friend over here always
Spending every free minute with me
She used to call me every day
Asking to spend time with me
We would hang out at her place or mine
Even though she got on my nerves.
But no matter what happened,
At least she was there
Always there keeping me from loneliness
I miss that lack of loneliness
I wish my loneliness were gone
I need someone else to fill the gap
Because it’s been too long
Sometimes, I do get an unexpected call
Or invite to spend time with a friend
But those calls & invites are all too rare
And I wish that they were regular…
6/21/03
I care about everyone
I just want everyone to be happy
I do things for everyone
They seem happy
Now why am I not happy?
What else do I need to do?
I want someone to care about me
I care about everyone else
No one seems to care about me
All I want are simple things
Tiny acts to show they care
That is all I ask
Is that too much?
I spend my time on you
I buy things for you all
I do things for everyone
Why doesn’t anyone do things for me?
After doing so much for you,
All I ask is that you care
Talk to me, do things with me, don’t forget about me
Why do I have to beg people to do these tiny things?
It seems that I have to beg someone just to simply talk to me
Why?
Have I not done enough?
What more do you ask of me?
I try to be a good friend
I spend my precious time on you
Yet no one seems to care
Don’t they see the effort I have put in?
I always thought my friends were closer
I always thought they cared
Now I am not quite so sure
That they ever cared
6/13/03
I try to be a good friend
But it all messes up in the end
I tried to help ease your pain
Now will you help ease mine?
I worked so hard for our friendship
I wanted so badly to build it
I don’t know what I did, but it’s ended
And I don’t think I’ll ever know why
I wish that we could just start over
I wanted our friendship to last longer
Did I do something wrong?
Did I do too much right?
Will I ever know what caused this mess?
I value your friendship a great deal
Which is why I want it to heal
I greatly enjoyed spending time with you
Didn’t you like to spend time with me?
I’ve done so much for you lately
So I can’t figure out why you hate me
I was there when you needed me
I listened when you spoke to me
But it seems that I wasted my time
Will you please try to heal this mess?
Will you please put my mind at rest?
I wish you had not forgotten me so
For I will never forget about you
We had so much fun together
Now please answer when I ask you why
Why have you forgotten me?
Why do you ignore me?
Why won’t you remember your friend?
Was I that annoying?
Was I that irritating?
That you finally decided it should end?
6/13/03
What is wrong with me?
Did I do something to offend you?
Did I mess up somehow, like I do with everything?
I don’t know
Why does my life suck?
Why doesn’t anything go right?
Why do I feel so alone?
I don’t know
Does anyone care?
Does anyone know?
Does anyone see me at all?
I don’t know
Does this poem suck?
I’m sure it does
Just like everything else in my life
©AngelGothica 2004 - Credit for background images to Nocturne
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