<!--//store the quotations in arrays
document.write("<br/>");
quotes = new Array(64);
quotes[0] = "Keith: <q>Hey look its DINO</q><br/>Gary Cohen: <q>That's Dinger, Dino was on the Flintstones.</q>";
quotes[1] = "On Todd Helton having only 13 HRs this year....<br/><q>I guess he's being affected by the humididor...err...</q>";
quotes[2] = "<q>I won't say that women belong in the kitchen, but they don't belong in the dugout.</q>";
quotes[3] = "<q>If I was a pitcher I would take karate, that way when someone charged the mound I'd be able to drop 'em.</q>";
quotes[4] = "<q>I hate to bring this up in a Mets game, but how pathetic was Boston's pitching today?</q>";
quotes[5] = "On his evening at a steakhouse with Cubs coach Gary Matthews:<br/><q>we polished off four or five bottles of red.</q>";
quotes[6] = "While talking about Adam LaRoche's ADD, Keith so beautifully puts it...<br/>Keith: <q>Boy, they have names for everything these days.</q><br/>Gary and Ron: ...SILENCE...";
quotes[7] = "Keith returns from an inning break in a game against Colorado: <br/>Keith: <q>That was the shortest half inning ever.</q><br/>Gary: <q>You get some ice cream at least</q><br/>Keith: <q>I had some peanuts</q><br/>Ron: <q>You eat the casing</q><br/>Keith: <q>What are you talking about?</q><br/>Gary: <q>The red things, you know</q><br/>Keith: <q>Yeah, I eat them</q><br/>Gary: <q>They can get caught in your throat, you know</q><br/>Keith: <q>My pipes can handle it</q>";
quotes[8] = "Gary: <q>Lots of good eats here at Minute Maid Park.</q><br/>Keith: <q>How many calories you think are in that thing?... A BILLION</q>";
quotes[9] = "After showing the names of the broadcasters in this order: <br/>Gary Cohen<br/>Ron Darling<br/>Chris Cotter<br/>Keith Hernandez<br/>Keith: <q>Why's my name on the bottom?</q>";
quotes[10] = "Keith: <q>Great stratedgery right there. If there is such a word.</q><br/>Gary: <q>There wasn't, but now there is.</q><br/>Keith: <q>Thank you.</q>";
quotes[11] = "After complaining about the difficulty of the Aflac trivia questions... <br/>Keith: <q>I like these text polls better than the duck questions.</q><br/>Gary: <q>Because you can state your opinion. You don't have to have the right answer?</q><br/>Keith: <q>And they're no brainers</q>";
quotes[12] = "Keith upon seeing the top SB men in met history... <br/>Keith: <q>Why am I not on the list?</q><br/>Gary: <q>You never ran hard enough</q><br/>Keith:.......................";
quotes[13] = "Talking about Tony LaRussa<br/>Gary: <q>... and he does all sorts of work for animal rights.</q><br/>Keith: <q>Animals have rights?</q><br/>Gary: <q>Don't let Tony hear you say that</q><br/> (Ron laughs nervously) <br/>Keith: <q>What kind of country do we live in where animals have RIGHTS?</q>";
quotes[14] = "On Seinfeld<br/>Elaine (thinking): <q>Who does this guy this he is?</q><br/>Keith (also thinking): <q>I'm Keith Hernandez.</q>";
quotes[15] = "Gary: <q>Well the pile driving sound has finally stopped in the new construction</q><br/>Keith: <q>It's like Bedrock out there</q><br/>Gary: <q>Bedrock... like the Flinstones... Barney... well I guess there is a lot of Rubel out there</q>";
quotes[16] = "Commenting on a botched bunt attempt against the Mets in the 9th inning... <br/>Keith: <q>If he gets that down he can walk to first. You can get a lot of hits like that.</q><br/>Gary: <q>Then why don't hitters do it more?</q><br/>Keith: <q>.... Because we're men</q>";
quotes[17] = "After a that ridiculous game in Colorado with the crappy outfield... <br/>Gary: <q>What if tomorrow's game goes like this, too?</q><br/>Keith: <q>I'd have to shoot myself in the face.</q>";
quotes[18] = "Keith: <q>Did you notice that the moon is moving?</q><br/>Gary: <q>... It usually does.</q>";
quotes[19] = "While looking at the New Ballpark on the monitor. <br/>Cohen: <q>It really looks beautiful</q><br/>Keith: <q>My monitor went out</q>";
quotes[20] = "<q>I'm always wrong...</q><br/>Talking about the answer to the Aflac Trivia Question";
quotes[21] = "<q>If he swung and missed Gary, then it's obviously a strike</q>";
quotes[22] = "The day after one of Keith's off days... <br/>Gary: <q>Keith, what did you think of the broadcast?</q><br/>Keith: <q>Oh, it was fantastic, I thought it was great. They had the volume turned down in the bar I was in, though.</q><br/>Gary & Ron: laugh<br/>Keith: <q>Yeah I asked him to turn it up. I said, 'I want to hear my coworkers, I want to hear my friends'</q>";
quotes[23] = "Talking about the Tim McClelland's slow strike call... <br/>Gary: <q>It's unbelievable. It's a discredit to the players a discredit to the media a discredit to the fans. His slow call actually affects the game</q><br/>Keith: <q>yeah it looks like he's out there calling the game on a Valium</q>";
quotes[24] = "On slumps... <br/><q>It can all come together just like that. In one game or one at bat even. That's why you don't go home and stick your head in the oven</q>";
quotes[25] = "Extra inning game against the Pirates... <br/><q>If this game goes much longer I'm gonna have to call my neighbor and tell him to let my dog out</q>";
quotes[26] = "After a fan is ejected for running on the field to retrieve a foul ball... <br/>Gary: <q>And he's leaving now</q><br/>Keith: <q>You mean he's actually leaving?</q><br/>Gary: <q>You can't run out on to the field Keith</q><br/>Keith: <q>Really?... Does he get to keep the ball</q><br/>9/28/2006";
quotes[27] = "9/28/2006 vs. the Braves after talking about Michael Tucker's rob job the previous night. <br/>Gary: <q>Well those plays even out in the end</q><br/>Keith: <q>Not for the good hitters</q>";
quotes[28] = "Keith talking about his mustache... <br/><q>Whenever I shave it off, I feel like I'm walking around with no clothes on and I grow it back.</q>";
quotes[29] = "<q>Dropping a pop up is the most embarrassing thing that an infielder can do.... Of course I wouldn't know what that feels like</q>";
quotes[30] = "Keith referring to Alou's <q>quiet</q> stance at the plate... <br/><q>It's like Alou is in a rocking chair up there...</q><br/>2/28/07";
quotes[31] = "Gary: <q>I know it's spring training and I know it doesn't matter, but they scored that an error Keith.</q><br/>Keith: <q>Well I scored it a hit, I'm keeping it a hit.</q><br/>Gary: <q>You know I have 2 types of white out if you want</q><br/>Keith: <q>Well I'm using a pencil.</q><br/>2/28/2007";
quotes[32] = "<q>I would pay to watch this team play, I'm not being a shill here</q><br/>After a discussion about Mets season tickets going fast";
quotes[33] = "When talking about Ariel Reyes...<br/>Keith: <q>Ariel....thats that sea thing right?</q><br/>Gary: <q>You mean the Little Mermaid</q>";
quotes[34] = "In spring training, a ball was hit to Dodgers shortstop Chin-Lung Hu...<br/>Gary: <q>A liner right at Hu. And Hu throws to first.</q><br/>Keith:<q>I thought it was Who's on first.</q>";
quotes[35] = "Keith: <q>I have got the most delicious Tootsie Pop. I haven't had one in so long.</q><br/>Gary: <q>What flavor you got?</q><br/>Keith: <q>What's this, cherry? Ahhh.</q><br/>Gary: <q>Do you bite them?</q><br/>Keith: <q>When you get near the chocolate in the end, then you have to. I have no patience.</q>";
quotes[36] = "<q>What a brilliant idea... get a dog for someone who spends 9 months a year on the road</q><br/>- Keith criticizing Anna Benson for giving Mets PR guy Jay Horowitz a dog for Christmas";
quotes[37] = "On Marlins catcher Paul Hoover...<br/>Gary: <q>With a name like Hoover you'd expect him to be good at picking up balls in the dirt.</q><br/>Keith: <q>Or be a bad economist.</q><br/>Gary: (laughing) <q>you always go in directions I can't anticipate</q>";
quotes[38] = "<q>I'm not a sadist or a masochist. I'm a lot of things, but not those. The jury's still out...</q><br/>- Keith on not wearing batting gloves";
quotes[39] = "In response to a Phillies pitcher throwing a breaking ball on a 3-0 count and missing the zone. <br/>Keith: <q>I don't think I've ever seen anyone do that in my 17 years. That's a mistake.</q>";
quotes[40] = "- A cat ran across the outfield and jumped over the wall in foul territory in left field. <br/>Keith: <q>Look at that vertical leap. I wish I could do that.</q>";
quotes[41] = "<q>It's hard to take an umpire seriously when he's got gloves and a ski cap on.</q>";
quotes[42] = "About Reyes...<br/>Keith: <q>If he hits 30 triples, then I'll be the future King of England.</q><br/>Gary:<q>Your majesty.</q>";
quotes[43] = "<q>I haven't had my tootsie pop yet.</q>";
quotes[44] = "After the SNY text message poll...<br/>Keith: <q>I know which one I pick.</q><br/>Gary: <q>Are you gonna tell us?</q><br/>Keith: <q>Well I don't want to influence anyone... people take everything I say to heart.</q>";
quotes[45] = "<q>Its a defective tootsie pop, I'm Upset.</q>";
quotes[46] = "Braves first baseman Craig Wilson knocks down a line drive off his glove, and tosses to a sprinting John Smoltz covering first...<br/>Keith: <q>You initially think he was gonna catch the ball.... but of course I'm not over there.</q><br/>- Referring to his gold glove days at first base";
quotes[47] = "Delgado gets a hit through the shift... <br/>Keith: <q>You could drive a truck through there.</q>";
quotes[48] = "On Joe Smith:<br/>Keith: <q>Joe's got those rosy cheeks. What is he, a Scotsman?</q>";
quotes[49] = "Kevin Burkhardt was in McCovey Cove on a kayak...<br/>Keith:<q>If you fall in, will you get electrocuted?</q><br/>Kevin:<q>Well its a little to late to ask that now</q>";
quotes[50] = "Gary: <q>Well in '86, everyone hated you, you were the most hated team in the league.</q><br/>Keith: <q>Well we had Carter and Backman, how could they not hate us?</q>";
quotes[51] = "Keith: <q>Hahahaha</q><br/>Ron: <q>What's so funny Keith?</q><br/>Keith: <q>Well I was just looking at my pretzel here, it kinda looks like a 'C'<br/> Keith: <q>Can we get another shot of that Bill?</q>(referring to Bill Webb), <q>Come on Bill.</q><br/>(Camera pans back)<br/>Keith: (holds up pretzel) <q>Look, it could be a 'C', but if you turn it sideways, it could be a 'U'<br/>Gary and Ron: (Rolling on the floor, dying of laughter).";
quotes[52] = "<q>I'm playing the '65 season in strat-o-matic right now.</q>";
quotes[53] = "Speaking about Jeff Francoeur...<br/>Keith:<q>What is that that he has? A mustache-less goatee?</q>";
quotes[54] = "Keith: <q>Smoltz hasn't walked anybody neither</q>... <q>Wait, Gary, neither or either?</q><br/>Gary: <q>Either Keith.</q><br/>Keith: <q>I always mess that up, my wife is always correcting me</q><br/>Gary: <q>What, on your syntax?</q><br/>Keith: <q>Yup, that's why I married her</q><br/>Gary: <q>You married your wife because of her good grammar?</q><br/>Keith: <q>Yeah, why else?</q>";
quotes[55] = "Matt Yallof: <q>What's that in front of you, Keith?</q><br/>Keith: <q>Oh, that's Jimmy Buffett. Parrot head, haha. And he talks, too, But you don't wanna hear that. He has a foul mouth.</q>";
quotes[56] = "Gary: <q>Greg Dobbs steps in</q><br/>Keith: <q>Dobbs, wasn't that the name of Robert Redford's character in The Natural?</q><br/>Gary: <q>No Keith, that was Roy HOBBES</q><br/>Keith: <q>oh, Hobbes, Dobbs, same difference, it's like Hernandez, Fernandez</q>";
quotes[57] = "On military appreciation day, Mr Met in camouflage...<br/>Keith: <q>He's gotta get some war paint on the head though. could be an easy target.</q>";
quotes[58] = "Gary: <q>Where did that ball hit Gotay?</q><br/>Keith: <q>I wasn't watching… I was just watching the crowd…Sometimes I drift…</q>";
quotes[59] = "Keith: <q>Oh, tomorrow is a noon game?! Good thing you told me...I woulda been late.</q>";
quotes[60] = "Talking about Scott Schoeneweis...<br/>Keith: <q>Yeah he's coming out from the depths of Mordor</q><br>Gary: <q>What!?</q><br/>Keith: <q>You know Mordor, the darkest place in Lord of the Rings where its all evil and Sauron lives</q>";
quotes[61] = "Keith: <q>Ohhhhhhh foul ball right into the Wilpon's box!!</q><br/>Gary: <q>Is Fred in their today?</q><br/>Keith: (Leaning over looking into Wilpon's box) <q>Fred!? Fred?! everybody okay in there???!!!</q>";
quotes[62] = "Gary: <q>What you eating?</q><br/>Keith: <q>Some ice cream... Sorry if my words were gargled</q><br/>Gary: <q>What?</q><br/>Keith: <q>Must've been the chocolate syrup</q>";
quotes[63] = "Keith: <q>I'm glad I'm not going on this road trip</q><br/>Gary: <q>Why?</q><br/>Keith: <q>Because there would be 3 suitcases with Hernandez on it... those poor bell hops</q><br/>Gary: <q>That's why you don't want to go on the road trip?</q>";


//calculate a random index
index = Math.floor(Math.random() * quotes.length);
//display the quotation
document.write("\n");
document.write(quotes[index]);
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