1. Mummy, mummy why am I running around in circles?

    Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!     GOOD JOKE HEY!

2. A bloke goes in to a bar and goes to the bar tender, I bet if you stood at the other end of the bar and called your dog my turtle could beat your dog to you. The bar tender goes how much do you bet? The bloke goes 150£. The bar tender thinks he'll get an easy 150 smackeroonies and quickly shouts come on Rover! The dog starts to run and the bloke picks up his turtle and throws it. The turtle just misses the bar tender and smacks the wall. Then the bloke goes that's 150 quid  please!

4. Mummy, Mummy why are we pushing daddy off a cliff?

    Shut up before he wakes up!

5. Two kids are having an argument and one says your mum's so fat, my dad drove arond her and ran out of petrol.

6. The other one replies with your mum's so fat it took me two trains four buses an aeroplane two car rides and another bus ride to get round her and plus it took me 3 years.