Sara's Girly Wonderland:

Here's a new addition to my website where i'll let you know what i've been getting up to, how i'm feeling and so on. Hope you find it interesting.

Woohoo! Another week of work over and time to let my hair down! Went to have a spray tan at a local tanning salon tonight so i'm feeling and looking good (even if i say so myself! lol)

Went to my local salon this morning and had a nice french manicure which looks really nice. Was gonna go for diamontes on the nails but it would seem a shame to take them off come Monday when i go back to work. Don't wanna be too conspicuous than what i already am! lol

Anyway, going to jump in the bath for a nice soak and then start shaving my body. All excited as i'm having a girly night out clubbing in London tonight. It will be my first night out as Sara for the best part of a month so i'm itching to have some fun and be me.

I'm knackered today! But for good reason. Had a fab night out in girly mode at the Way Out Club near London's Tower Bridge. It was my first night out as Sara since the end of August so it was well overdue. Wore a black vest top, beige corduroy-type mini skirt and my trusted black leather knee-high boots. My feet were killing me by the end of the night - even with wearing 'Party Feet' gel pads. Oh well, a small price to pay for girly heaven :-)

It's Sunday night and i feel low. This always happens the day after being out enfemme. I tend to shut myself away in the bedroom and reflect. Being Sara is such a drug and i want her more and more. Listening to Coldplay's 'Clocks' which pretty much sums up my mood right now.

I'm really looking forward to my next girly night out on October 15th! I'll be partying at a nightclub in Milton Keynes called Pink Punters where i've been a couple of times before. The significant thing about this will be the fact that i'll be driving from East London to MK in femme mode for the first time. I'm a lil apprehensive but the prospect is exciting! It will no doubt help build my confidence. I just have visions of breaking down, having an accident, needing the loo etc etc lol The plan was for me to get a make over in a hotel opposite the nightclub. However, the girl who normally does my make up is up in Scotland that weekend. I think this is a blessing in disguise. Keep coming back to check my diary entries for updates on my day to day life.

Well girls and boys, i crossed another hurdle today. Got the confidence to arrange my first ever bra fitting at a lingerie shop in north London. The manageress was lovely on the telephone and said she'll open the shop up early just for me. Will be going there next Friday morning before i have my manicure done. Will let you all know how it went then.

Well this morning was my first ever bra fitting and it went very well (remember that i was in boring Alan mode) The experience was brilliant and the manageress Alexis was fab and very professional. Found out i was a 38C with me silicone boobies in place. Spent almost £100!!! Another battering for the trusted visa card! Bought 2 bra and panty sets in white and pink, a black 4-way strapless bra, a black every day bra and 2 pairs of boy shorts in pink and white.

After the great experience of trying on different bras, it was time to visit my local salon. I had my best ever french manicure (thanks Seth you cheeky lil sweetheart!) The colours used were a pinky-purply glistening coat with white tips....look lovely! I also had my first ever pedicure which was nice! Unfortunately i didn't have my feet painted though as i didn't have any sandals to wear. Oh well, was still nice to have my feet pampered.

After a nice pub lunch with Michelle, i went to have a spray tan done....come on, can't wear me mini without brown legs! hehehe

The day i've been waiting for has arrived! WOOHOO!!! Time to release Sara onto the party scene again and more importantly, time to be the real ME! Arrived 30mins late for my make up appointment, no thanks to fans arriving for the Spurs v Everton footie match! GRRR!!!! However, the lady doing the make over was running late herself so no harm done. To say i was blown away by the make over was an understatement! WOW!!!! She made my eyes stand out and the look was glam but natural looking.

Anyway, it was now time to hit the roads for the first time enfemme. I was understandably nervous but not as nervous as i thought i would be. Got some attention driving especially when we got stuck in traffic. 'We' as in me and my tranny friend Gillian who was following me up to Milton Keynes. No one read me as far as i know. Not that i really cared either way!

Finally arrived in MK around 8'ish feeling very hungry and thirsty as i had deliberately not eaten or drunk since much earlier as i was worried i would need the loo enroute...what a coward huh?! :-( Ended up having some McD's fries to line me tummy (used the Drive Thru though!)

Anyways, after eating and consuming nearly a bottle of white wine, i met up with friends at Pink Punters (a very popular gay, lesbian and transgender nightclub) I was soon speaking to new people on the scene who were lovely. The music on the three different floors was great but i wasn't really in dancing mood. I was just happy to be Sara and cherish the night of freedom. Before i knew it, it was 4am and time to return to the hotel opposite the club. Why is it that you always forget something when you're away from home?! With me, i'd forgotten my make up remover and pads so i had to borrow some from my friend....thanks Gillian! You lifesaver! :-)

What a fab night i had and i so want to do it again soon. Normally i go out every 3-4 weeks but i can't wait that long to be my girly companion. May go clubbing down London next weekend.

The inevitable rollercoaster of emotions hit me once again after returning home from Milton Keynes today. After having lunch, i sat down and just burst into tears! :-( I get very emotional after being enfemme as i don't want the experience to end. Anyway, after mopping up the tears, i decided to go out for a drive. As it was quite warm, i decided to put the roof down on the car. Also had a walk over a local park and sat beside a lake watching the world go by. I find this relaxing and allowed me to reflect on what i'd had the night before.

After last weekend's high, i had to go out again tonight, although i've really skinted myself out in the process! Although, money's tight until pay day (roll on 31st!) i needed the psychological lift of being Sara.

First of all i went to East London with my transgendered friend Della to have our make overs done. Another brilliant job was done (thanks Mark!)

Anyways, after having our make overs done, we drove up to Tower Bridge and had a meal and a drink at a pub called The Bridgehouse which is a wine bar/restaurant. I must admit to being really nervous when we walked into the place as i've normally had some wine to calm my nerves before going out. I think it was good that i hadn't because you can't be merry everywhere you go! Will be put forward to Alcoholics Anonymous soon! lol As we walked in, a group of blokes chuckled amongst themselves but that was short-lived and we were left to have a nice meal and a drink. The bar manager and waitress that served us were lovely and respectful. Thanks guys! It was quite funny seeing other people's faces around us. It was a like a double take where they'd look at us and then look again when they realised who we were. We sat proud though as we had every right to be there like them.

Well after a nice meal and a couple of large wines (HIK!) me and Della made a short journey to The Chamberlain Hotel bar in the City where we had a relaxing follow up drink. There were four American business people sitting at a table near us who were really nice. They called us over to their table where we had a long chat and got on really well. I love the Americans anyway and i acted like a typical tourist telling them all about my trips Stateside! lol

After the drinks at the hotel, it was time to visit our fave nightclub, The Way Out. Arrived there just before 11 and the club was already quite busy. It wasn't long before i was dancing up on the podium with other t-girls. It's strange with me as sometimes i don't dance and then like this time, i was up for it, strutting my stuff! lol Had one pervy guy come up to me, telling me how much he wanted to f**k me! What is it with blokes huh?! lmao Politely told him i wasn't interested after pushing his hand away from up my skirt.

Unfortunately, later in the evening, i came over ill. Made the mistake of sitting down in a chill out area with the girls as my feet were killing me but because i'd had a lot of wine, i fell asleep for a short while. However, when my mate woke me up, my head was spinning and i felt as sick as a dog! I got up and nearly fell backwards! Managed to get to the ladies room just in time! Won't give you all the gory details though! :-(

What a great night for Sara and her confidence is building up slowly, but surely. The worse part was getting home and taking my make up off! GGGGRRR!!!! Oh well, will look forward to my next trip on Nov 12th...School Disco, here i come...I'm a sucker for school girl uniform! lmao

Had a good result tonight! :-) Was round my parents celebrating my Dad's 60th birthday and i showed a couple of pix of Sara to my Mum on the quiet (not to my Dad as he doesn't feel comfortable with it although he accepts me) Anyways, she was very complimentary and said i looked amazing! That really made my day as i felt another milestone had been crossed. However, my Mum still occasionally says she understands my 'problem'??? What problem? Being Sara makes me so fuc*in' happy! lol Oh well, getting there slowly but surely!

Well Sara's back with a diary update! Got a brilliant night ahead tomorrow night! Will be going to School Disco at Hammersmith Palais...enfemme of course! :-) The last time i was there was back in April last year so a visit was well over due. Will be having a make over around 7pm and will then travel to he venue in West London with the rest of the girls. For those that have never been to School Disco, everyone dresses up in their school uniform (really??? in dum voice! lol) and dances and prances around to cheesy 70's and 80's music. It's a really good night though and i hope i'll have the bottle to dance up on stage again like last time....we'll see. Before i forget, i've got an outrageously SHORT pleated mini skirt to wear....it's only 9" in length. However, i promise to wear my bestest knickers on the night! lmao

Anyways, i had a lovely manicure done and not so nice eyebrow wax (OUCH!) on Wednesday night to prep for the evening. I may go for a spray tan later and i need Michelle to shave me (hairs, YUK!) Right, i'm off for now but check out my review of tomorrow night on Sunday.

Apart from a bit of a numb head (serves you right Sara!) it was a small price to pay for yet another brilliant night last night. As you will know from my 11th November entry, last night was School Disco night at Hammersmith Palais, a great club in West London where everyone re-lives their youth in school uniform and dances to cheesy, but great disco trax. See www.schooldisco.com

Anyways, the night started off with a make over at the Boudoir in Tottenham along with the other Boudette girls and some wine to get us in the party mood. We also took a few pix. Before we knew it, we arrived outside Hammersmith Palais in two people carriers. As always, there were long queues to get in (shows how popular this club is) It was great seeing people's reactions as we made our way across the road and into the VIP queue (ooooo, get you! lol) The other people queuing up were nice to us which was great and before we knew it, we were inside having our picture taken by the club photographer which i hope will be shown on their website shortly. We made our way up to the VIP lounge and got some drinks and before we knew it, we were all dancin' the night away.

Had to pop to the loo and some cheeky girly said my knickers were showing as i was leaning forward to check my make up in the mirror! I laughed and said well if i'm showing mine, you can show me yours...and she did! lol Oooerrrr!!! <blushes> I was a right flirty tart (with a heart) throughout the night dancin' away to my hearts content, flashing my knicks to the girls! lol A funny moment was when one of my silicone boobs fell on the floor as i was doing my dancing queen antics. Luckily, my blushes were spared and i carried on. Met some lovely people throughout the night (you know who you are) and i hope to see you again soon. Unfortunately i lost my diamonte bracelet somewhere in the club...oh well! :-(

Why is it that time always flies when you're having fun? Before i knew it, it was 3.00am and it was time to leave the club. I hate it when i have to come back to reality after a great night out. However, i'll be out again in the next 2-3 weeks so it won't be long. I've got a few pix from last night in my web album so feel free to take a look.

WOOHOO! It's the weekend again and what's this girl to do? Well, just got back from having a nice french re-varnish at my local salon (thanks Chloe) Had my nails painted pink with bright white tips and squared up. The girls in there think i should model my nails! lol They're getting really long now and i love 'em! :-)

Had a good shopping trip with Michelle this afternoon. Bought four pairs of knickers from M & S, some make up remover pads and powder from Boots. Also bought a cute pair of pink tracksuit bottoms from New Look. Had some positive feedback when i was looking in River Island. Was looking at some camisole tops and i asked a young assistant if she had my size? She didn't even flinch and did her best to find my size. However, she had no joy and was apologetic and smiled at me. When we were in Boots, i went up to a girl on a make up counter and asked for advice on what powder she thought would match my complexion? Again, she was lovely and offered her advice which i took and bought it. With positive support like this, it can only be a matter of time before i gain the confidence to do my shopping in Sara mode. That would really blow me away! :-)

Tonight's gonna be tame compared to last weekend as far as partying's concerned as i'm gonna have a nice night in with Michelle drinking wine. However, next weekend will be party time again! :-)

Had yet another good night out enfemme tonight. Went to the Way Out Club in London with my girlfriend Michelle (it was her first time down there in a long time) Enjoyed it more tonight as i was in dancin' mood and was really strutting my stuff! GO GIRL! lol Got to wear my lovely white faux fur coat which is so gorgeous and really warm.

Well girls and boys, been to have some treatments done at my local salon tonight. Had my eyebrows and lashes tinted and for the first time, had a lash perm which looks really nice. Just over a week before i go out clubbing again. Roll on 17th December! :-)

Had a nice french manicure tonight. Had baby pink varnish applied with white tips and for the first time i had diamantes placed on the little finger of my hands. Look really cute!

It was party time again tonight and what a fun time i had. Arrived at the Camponile Hotel in Milton Keynes at 2.30pm. Got a make over done there before going down to the hotel bar for a drink. Later on, me and the girls went for a meal at The Bridge (a 5min walk away from the hotel) After a nice meal, it was time to boogie on down at a popular night club called Pink Punters opposite the hotel. Had a really nice time there. Met lots of nice people and some pervs too! lol The music was really rockin' with the videos of the songs being shown on large screens around the club. Looking forward to going back next month.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!! So sorry if you've been trying to view my website these past few weeks as i'd unfortunately used up my bandwidth. To help this situation, i've taken off all the music. I knowww you need it to stop you from falling asleep reading my diary but.....lol

Anyways, here we are in 2006 and i soooo wanna do more adventurous things this year! The main one being 'girly shopping' enfemme for the very first time. The other one being to enter Miss Alternative London later this year. My first girly night out this year will be this weekend as i'll be partying my booties off in London, followed by another girly knees up the following weekend. There's no stopping this girl! hehe

Had another good girly night out at the Way Out Club in London. Had lots of fun as always and will look forward to my next night out next weekend.

Went to my local salon after work this evening and had an eyebrow wax and french manicure. Had diamontes put on my thumbs which look really cute :-)

Had a great night out at Pink Punters in Milton Keynes tonight. After getting made over, i firstly had a drink with some girls in the hotel bar and then we made our way over to the club which as always was fab! I was kicking myself though as i smashed a brand new bottle of Gucci Envy Me perfume on the floor in the ladies loos...oops! Also found that the base of my boot heels has come away! :-( Oh well, that's life!

My skirt certainly raised a few eyebrows on the night! lol It was only about 9" long! lol TART! I love it! I'd definitely recommend Pink Punters to anyone looking for a good night out. Excellent! (check out my new pix in the webs album)

Had some girly pampering at my local salon today. Had a lovely french manicure which consisted of pink varnished nails with white tips and diamantes. Also had an eyebrow and lash tint which looks nice. Love it!

Hey girls!

Want to share a fab girly shopping experience I’ve had today at Lakeside in Essex….and for those that know me I didn’t go enfemme BUT that will be coming shortly as I’ve crossed more milestones today which have made me very happy and pleased with myself. Let me explain.

Michelle (girlfriend) and I made our way to Lakeside mid afternoon and I was determined to be more confident when looking at all the lovely girly clothes. Although I wasn’t dressed enfemme, my appearance was quite girly. To explain, I’d had my eyebrows and lashes tinted yesterday which look quite noticeable (to girls anyway! lol) and not forgetting gorgeous pink french-manicured nails with diamontes on. Was also wearing girly jeans although not conspicuous and a white denim jacket.

Anyway, here goes with the fun! The first place of interest was Ann Summers (no surprise there!) I’d seen a kinky red PVC nurses outfit on their website so I thought I’d take a look. Well, I firstly asked a very pleasant young black girl if she had the nurses outfit in my size. She smiled and asked me to hold on for a mo. She returned shortly afterwards and immediately asked if I wanted to try it on. No hesitation, just treated me with respect. What a girl! Anyway, I tried on the dress but I decided not to buy it as I’d get quite sweaty prancing around on the dance floor in that! Just to put this experience into perspective, the last time I tried anything on in a shop (apart from a bra fitting) was early last Summer down Oxford Street when coincidentally I tried on a nurses outfit in Ann Summers (which I bought) There was no stopping me now and although I admit to being a bit nervous I proceeded to go into Pilot with my head held high ready to knock ‘em dead. After a lil hesitation I asked a sales girl if I could try on a pair of jeans. She didn’t butt an eyelid and I walked into the fitting rooms. It was funny because as I was going to shut the locker door behind me I spotted a girl waiting for her friend opposite and it was like a double-take with her. “Is that a guy trying on women’s jeans? lol Excellent! I felt fantastic! The buzz was just beginning and I’d already exceeded one ‘try on’. Cutting a long story short, I did the following too. Tried on ladies jeans in Miss Selfridge with not a smirk in sight. Lots of women in the fitting area and didn’t say nothing to me. Was I in heaven now? Too bloody right! I tried on a pleated skirt in Bay Trading and a gorgeous pink mini skirt in Time. Admittedly I got a double-take in both shops, the funniest being in Bay Trading. I said to the sales girl “Can I try this skirt on please?” She looked at Michelle and then at me as it just hadn’t clicked at that moment what I’d asked! lol Anyways, she said “No problem”. WOW!!! What a time I was having. Did some perfume testing in Boots and a sales lady in there took quite an interest to my manicured nails hehe

Anyway girls, I won’t go on too much but as you can tell, I’ve had a fantastic few hours shopping which has really boosted my confidence. So, what did I buy? In summary, a pink mini skirt, several camisole tops, some satin bedtime shorts, a few pairs of knickers and some fragranced bubble bath and shower gel. And guess what, not a single male item bought!

This shopping trip was just the tonic I needed to boost my confidence and I know that the next time I go back to Lakeside, it will be as ‘Sara’. I am soooo pleased with myself and if anyone doubts shopping for girly stuff in either male or female mode, go for it as people are completely fine. Confidence is the key and remembering that we’ve got every right to be there!

Right, gonna chill out before I come down from cloud nine!

A very disappointing day for me as i was made redundant due to the company i worked for going bankrupt. Although i anticipated this outcome, it's still a shock.

On a positive note, i see myself as a winner so i will persevere in finding another job soon. Enough of that though.

Had a great girls' night out at Pink Punters in Milton Keynes with my girlfriend tonight. Had a few drinks in the hotel bar opposite the club first and then boogied on down at the club until 4.30am! Dirty stop out but i enjoyed myself yet again. Have put a few new pix in the photo gallery so feel free to take a look.

All i can think about right now (apart from finding another job) is doing my first ever girly shopping trip as Sara. I'm soooo near to fulfilling this major hurdle of mine and i know it will mark a significant stage as my femme alter ego. OK, i understand that all i've got to do is DO it then. However, if you are transgendered like me you will understand that we're not all moulded the same with the same level of confidence. It takes time and you have to be mentally ready. Believe me, when i've achieved this milestone, everyone will know about it!

Did another shopping trip in boring male mode with my girlfriend this afternooon. Went to Bluewater this time. The aim of this visit was to gain more confidence and to get a feel for the place during the week as my shopping trip enfemme is imminent...at long last! lol

After 3 years of being ‘out of the closet,’ I’ve finally committed myself to doing something I never thought I would do…..my first ever shopping trip as Sara….and the girls that know me will probably be saying “About bloody time too!” lol

No seriously, Friday 3rd March 2006 is THE day for Sara to blossom. I wasn’t going to advertise this fact as it will inevitably put pressure on me to follow it through.

After visiting both Lakeside and Bluewater shopping malls in boring male drab recently, I’ve decided on Bluewater for my first trip. To say I am nervous and apprehensive right now is an understatement and I’m sure many of you more experienced girls can remember your first experience quite vividly and understand what I am feeling right now.

Setting aside the inevitable nerves and apprehension, I’m sure this forthcoming experience will ultimately set the foundations for a more satisfying and rewarding time enfemme. Call me ‘obsessive’ but I just can’t stop thinking about the shopping trip. I think every transgendered person has a time clock in their mind which sounds an alarm bell when it’s time to overcome that next hurdle and I think shopping enfemme in the real world IS a major hurdle which I have to deal with NOW. I would have done the shopping trip this week but my girlfriend can’t get time off work until next week.

Clothes-wise, I’ve decided on a blue denim jacket over a white blouse/shirt, black ra-ra skirt (which is just above knee length) black knee high boots and opaque tights. Thanks to the people who’ve offered advice on the best look (you know who you are) My make up will obviously be toned down.

I’ve also arranged for my local salon to do a french manicure before setting off for the shopping as they've only seen me as Alan so far and threatened to ban me if i didn't come in enfemme! lol

Finally, if anyone can offer any last minute advice to help quell my nerves, it would be much appreciated as this means a lot to me and I feel that ‘euphoria’ will be an understatement once I’ve done it.

One last thing. My Mum asked me a really nice question after i told her i was doing the shopping trip. She said: "Please buy me something as a reminder to us both of your first shopping trip" How sweet is that huh? I felt like crying! Bless her!

Will update this diary on how it went as soon as i've come down from cloud nine! hehehe

Went back to Contessa today with girlfriend Michelle to look at some undies. This was the shop that did my first ever bra fitting endrab back in October. Anyway, the manageress of the shop was as helpful as before and helped me find a suitable bra. No embarassment was felt on my part when i tried on a bra whilst the manageress adjusted the straps for me (bearing in mind i was endrab again today) It's true that the process gets easier and easier each time you do it.

Well, I did it! The massive hurdle of doing my very first shopping trip as Sara has been achieved and I’m very proud of myself! Anyway, if you’re interested to read about my day, here goes………

The day started out with an 11.00am makeover with gorgeous Miss Jodie Lynn of Boudoir fame in the company of my girlfriend, Michelle. I was understandably very nervous as this was the first time I was going to be let loose into the real world during the day! lol People who know me will know I’ve been on the TG scene for nearly three years now and have been out enfemme numerous times to transgendered/gay/straight clubs and restaurants. However, this was THE big one as I’m sure you would all agree.

After getting made over and putting on my daytime girly attire it was time to take the daunting step of stepping outside. To say I was nervous was a major understatement. I was shaking like a leaf, my legs felt jellified and I honestly wanted the floor to swallow me up. However, Michelle was there to support me as always and tried to calm me down. Walking out of the building was scary as there were workmen and their lorry blocking the pathway so we had to walk out into the road. Thankfully, not a single comment was made by the men and we got in my car.

Next task was a drive across town to my local salon for a French manicure which I’d been having in ‘Alan’ mode for over a year. Bearing in mind this was only my second drive enfemme and also in daylight, I felt ok. Arrived at the salon just in time for my manicure and the girls were very complimentary and excited to see Sara for the first time. Again I was shaking like a leaf and one of the girls gave me some Rescue Me tonic to calm me down. I soon relaxed and enjoyed the manicure and a few pix were taken as a photo diary of my big day (pix to follow shortly in my pix section)

Now, the major hurdle was upon me. Going shopping! Deep breath Sara! lol Arrived at Bluewater Shopping Centre around 4.30 (quite late I know but 4-5 hours shopping would be enough for my first time) This part of the day was to be the hardest (at first anyway) Michelle went to hold my arm for support but I felt I couldn’t walk properly so she walked alongside me. However, I was so nervous I kept stopping and making out to be looking at clothes I wasn’t really interested in! lol I laugh now but it wasn’t at the time. I felt vulnerable and very scared. First stop was the ladies’ loos in M & S and had no problems with women shouting “pervert!” and chasing me back out! lol Did what I had to do, washed my hands and straight back out again. Took a pic in M & S as discreetly as we could and then after looking at some lingerie, walked out into the main shopping area. Another pic or two was taken there and then the interaction with the general public began.

Walking around at first was very daunting and I wasn’t really taking in the surroundings. It all seemed a blur. Anyway, as we were walking about, yes I was ‘read’ by some people (was under no illusion that I wouldn’t be) but not a single adverse comment from anyone. Looks of curiosity, yes. After about an hour, my confidence was increasing and I soon had my head held high, smiled at people if they looked at me and I was really enjoying my new-found freedom. Brilliant! Went into many shops but strangely didn’t try anything on. This was ironic considering I have as Alan. To be honest I didn’t see anything I wanted to try on so why bother, although it would have been an experience. Even more stranger, I didn’t even buy anything for me! All I bought was some perfume for my Mum as she had asked me to buy her something as a reminder of my first shopping trip enfemme and for Michelle for her support.

Although my feet were starting to kill me near the end, I was wondering what all the fuss had been about. I was loving the experience! I didn’t even care when people looked at me. In a funny sort of way, I was enjoying it! Can people relate to this? And NO, I’m not an exhibitionist! As far as I was concerned I was breaking down social barriers and saying this is me and I’ve got every right to be here. There were a lot of young people at the shopping centre and I didn’t receive a single adverse comment or laughter (not that I heard anyway) Not that I would have cared as this was my big day and nothing or no one was going to spoil it for me!

In summary (and sorry if I’ve rambled on) I was so proud of myself overcoming this very big hurdle as I’ve now gained a lot more confidence (until the next trip anyway! lol) No seriously, I won’t have the same apprehension that I had yesterday.

How do I feel now? To be honest I’m finding it hard to describe. Yes I’m on cloud nine but not as I expected it to be. It all seemed very ordinary and natural. I don’t think the experience has really impacted on me yet as I’m still absorbing it. All I hope is that I won’t start to feel down and emotional as I sometimes do after the thrill of being Sara. This is the part I hate and want to overcome.

I’m hoping to do my next trip as soon as possible and will try Lakeside next time. For anyone who’s wishing to go shopping for the first time, go for it as it’s so rewarding!!!

Excellent news today! Got accepted for a job i wanted and start next Monday! I'll be doing an Account Management role for a finance company which is only a few miles away from me. I'm sooo happy to be back at work as being unemployed for over a month was becoming depressing. Onwards and upwards now! :-)

I can't believe it's a week since my first ever shopping trip enfemme! How time flies! I've been reflecting on my experience a lot today and i'm missing it already.

Michelle and i went clothes shopping at Brookfield Farm today (me as Alan though) Had an interesting experience in River Island. Saw a lovely, long skirt for the spring (hopefully i'll wear it for shopping enfemme soon) Anyway, i went to the till to pay but thought, sod it, i'm going to ask to try the skirt on. I asked the sales girl if i could try it on. She smiled at me and said "Sure" but then started to laugh a bit. Not in a piss-taking way, just a nervous laugh. It's as if i'd been the first guy to ask her this question and laughing was her way of dealing with it. She then asked if i was joking and i said "No, i would like to try it on please" with a smile. I was then directed over to the fitting area where another intrigued girl led me to a changing room and asked me to let her know if i needed any assistance. Anyway, the skirt fit fine. As i came out of the changing room the girl asked if the skirt fit ok and i said it did, thanks and made my way to the checkout to pay. The same girl with the nervous laugh processed the sale for me with a smile and then we left. Although i wasn't shopping enfemme tonight, the experience in River Island put a smile on my face :-)

It was party time again tonight! Had another girly night out at Pink Punters with some girlfriends and enjoyed myself once again. Wore a white camisole top, black leather mini-skirt and my infamous black leather booties! lol Also had my hair up like Pete Burns's in Big Brother again :-)

Guess where i went tonight? You guessed it! Pink Punters! Had a great time as always! Normally, i have my make over done at the hotel opposite the club but because the lady who does it is away in Miami, i went to another great lady in East London. After i'd been glammed up, i drove from there to Milton Keynes enfemme which is a major buzz. So liberating.

Arrived at my hotel in MK around 9'ish, booked in and then met some friends in the hotel bar. After a couple of drinks we walked over to the club and then partied away until 5am. Met lots of nice people and can't wait to get out enfemme again soon.

What can i say, other than what another fab night out enfemme! Don't normally have two girly nights out in successive weekends but i couldn't resist! Me and a friend Della had a make over done. Was so pleased with my make over tonight (not that i'm not normally!) Anyway, I had very dramatic eye make up tonight. The make up lady said it was my "Pammy" look! lol Pammy as in Pamela Anderson/Lee of Baywatch fame! (wish i had her boobs though! :-(

Made our way to the Way Out Club in London after our make overs (although Della went for a bite to eat first) I was ready to party and had a great night in the club. Hadn't been down here since January so it was nice to see old faces again.

Just wish i could afford to go out enfemme every weekend :-( I must learn to do my own make up so i've got more freedom. Don't have a lot of enthusiasm although i know i need to.

Last night was spent at the excellent Pink Punters club in Milton Keynes. Decided to dress as a naughty schoolgirl and had a lot of fun. Getting there was horrid though. Following my makeover, i had to drive up the M1 in torrential rain. Was quite scary at times as there was a lot of surface water on the motorway and i was worried about aquaplaning. Finally arrived at the hotel opposite the club just after 10pm.

Met up with another girl (Della) and we spoke to lots of people throughout the night. Looking forward to going back there soon.

Hot off the back of last weekend's girly fun, i was back at Pink Punters in Milton Keynes again tonight. Got made over by the lovely Jodie at the Campanile hotel opposite the club around 5.30. This was followed by a few drinks with the girls down in the hotel bar.

Before we knew it, time had flown and we made our way across the road to Pink Punters. The club was rockin' as always with 2 main floors of cool music. Met some gorgeous real girls tonight who made me feel on top of the world. They were all very complimentary to me and i had a dance with them. The buzz of being Sara at this club blows me away. I just don't want it to end. It's like a fantasy world but oh so real!

Come 4'ish Sunday morning, my feet were killing me so i said my goodbyes and made my way back to the hotel for a shower and then off to bed. Roll on the next weekend out for Sara.

Had another girly night out tonight but it started out in the worst possible way!

Went for a make over in East London and then made my way to the Campanile Hotel in Milton Keynes to check in before making tracks to Pink Punters nightclub opposite. Saturday was a very warm day and very sticky and doesn't do you any favours when wearing make up! Anyway, i booked into the hotel upon arrival and took my stuff up to the room. This is when the fun started! My right eye decides to water uncontrollably and then i look like Alice Cooper as black liquid eyeliner runs down my face!!!! Ohhhh nooooooo!!! Now this may not seem that much of a nightmare if you know how to do your own make up. However, i can't! Hence the makeovers. BUT, thankfully i had a powder puff in my bag and proceeded to do a repair job which i felt conscious about as i wasn't sure if it looked ok. Got a tranny mate of mine to inspect it and she said it was fine. PHEW!!! I was sooo relieved as i was about to take off my make up and travel back home with the right flamin' hump! lol

Anyway, walked over to PP's with my friend after drinking some wine and ended up having an 'OK' night, apart from the fact that my digital camera didn't want to work! Sooo, at the mo i'm hoping a friend of mine has saved a couple of pix so i have a photograhic account of the night. The annoying thing is, my make over was blinding tonight and my hair was made to look all funky! Oh well, we'll have to wait and see. Met a few nice people who made us feel very welcome.

It's my birthday today and what an excuse for a girly knees-up! Went to my make up artist with my girlfriend, Michelle. As Michelle had never been made over by the people i use, i thought i'd treat her too. Well, to say she looked amazing is an understatement. She looked amazing and very sexy! MMMMMM lol Anyway, after picking my tongue up off the floor lol it was my turn to be made over. The make over as always was fab and i decided to have the schoolgirl look (no surprise there!) As a friend of ours was going to be dressed like that too, i didn't feel the odd one out!

Before we knew it, it was time to drive up to our favourite venue, Pink Punters. It was quite amusing seeing the reactions of people in the street as we drove past! lol To think that less than a year ago, i was too nervous to drive alone! However, i still panic that i'm going to break down or need the loo on the journey! Still got some confidence to build but i'm getting there.

Arrived at our hotel opposite the club around 9pm and booked in. Time for some wine and vodka and before we knew it, we were making our way over to the club. When we walked into the club, we got quite a reception, expecially that i had outrageously big, funky pig-tails! lol Met some friends there and had a fab night! Michelle couldn't keep off the dance floor and thoroughly enjoyed herself. As always, i was in girly heaven and i didn't want the night to end, although i was tired by around 4am!

Had a nightmarish journey home from the hotel today! Firstly, found that i'd left my bag with my money and clothes in the hotel car park!!! Thankfully a friend of ours rang me as we driving down the M1 to let me know and he met up with us at a service station. Then there was a bad accident on the M25 and we were had a standstill for around an hour!

Had my first proper pedicure at my local salon this morning and loved it! Went for a lovely, girly pink colour for my feet. It was quite funny seeing women's faces as they walked past me (bearing in mind i was in boring male mode!) Bless Michelle for paying for the pedicure as a late birthday present.

Had a Spanish spray tan done at my local salon tonight and looks good. Will be out for another girly night out tomorrow so want to look my best!

Went back to the salon this morning to have a french re-varnish on my nails and toe-nails (first french varnish on my toes and i love 'em!) All set for tonight's partying!

WOOHOO!!! Party time again! Went and had a make over with the gorgeous Jodie Lynn at the Boudoir in Tottenham tonight. Once i was made over, i put on a black halter neck top, white denim mini skirt and black sandals. All set!

Arrived at the Campanile Hotel in Milton Keynes around 9'ish, booked in and then had a bottle of wine whilst watching Big Brother.

Around 10.30pm, i met up with another girl and we made our way over to Pink Punters Nightclub. Met up with a few more girl friends and we had a great night partying until the early hours. However, my feet were killing me by the end of the night and was glad to take my sandals off when i got back to the hotel.

Had an enjoyable day out shopping with Michelle in Wood Green, north London this afternoon (was in drab mode again)

Today i was feeling in a relatively, confident mood which i like as i express my inner femininity more. To illustrate this, we went in a perfume shop in the shopping centre and there was i asking the sales girl if i could try out different perfumes. Didn't have perfume sprayed on my wrist though. The funny thing being that, Michelle was standing there as if she was the man! (if you know what i mean? lol) Anyway, i bought some Prada perfume and was given a sample of another make to take away with me.

Went into a shop called Pilot and bought a red mini skirt and white leather-look handbag. I was feeling quite brave so i held up the skirt in front of me and stretched one leg out like girls do. Don't think anyone spotted me though (not that i really cared!)

Best experiences of the day were at two independent ladies' shops on the high street. In one store, where i was admiring a cute, white mini skirt, the sales girl asked if i wanted to try it on. There was no request or prompting. She just knew! Bless her! Needless to say i bought the skirt after trying it on.

Went into another store where i saw similar mini-skirts but in more colours. The girls in there had me sussed. Although there was no prompting to use the fitting rooms, they knew the skirts were for me.

Visited a new salon in London called Pamela Stevens today. Still go to my original one but wanted to try other places out, too. Anyway, i had a french re-varnish done which looks really pretty, i.e. pink sparkly varnish with bright white tips. All set for another girly night out!

Firstly, i must apologize for not updating everyone of my night out on 19th August. Have been side tracked with work and other stuff. However, me and girlfriend, Michelle had a lovely night at our favourite haunt, Pink Punters.

Anyway, back to the present lol Guess what? No guesses where me and Michelle went again tonight? You guessed it! PP's!!! WOOHOO!!!! Some people maybe thinking, don't you get bored going to the same place? The simple answer....NO! lol We love it there! Never any trouble there, brilliant music and everyone has a great time! What more can i say?

We both had professional make overs done earlier in the evening and then we made our way up the M1 to sunny Milton Keynes...NOT!!! It was windy and peeing down with rain! Don't you just love the British weather! lol

Anyways, got to our hotel, unpacked and then chilled out with some wine and vodka. Then it was time to change and off we went over to the club for another girly rave up!

Met up with our friends over at the club and the night was spent, chatting, dancin' and you guessed it...we got p*ssed! lol No surprises there then? lol

Stayed at the club until throwing out time just after 5am and we were definitely ready for bed then! Had to have a shower though as my clothes reeked of cigarette smoke (roll on with the smoking ban here in the UK next summer!)

Michelle and i had another good night in Milton Keynes tonight. Had our make overs done before driving up the M1. Stopped off at a McDonalds Drive-Thru for some food in the town. Seeing some young lad's face when he served me was quite funny! He didn't know what to say or do? God, i don't look that frightening, do i? lol

Booked into our hotel, had some food and then it was time to chill out with some wine and vodka before meeting up with friends at Pink Punters across the road.

Had a good time dancing and chatting in PP's...even did some pole dancin' which i haven't done for ages! lol Met some nice people and not so nice creeps! lol

Partied away until gone 5.30am before we had to leave with some gentle persuation from the bouncers :-(

The only thing that spoilt the night was Michelle being violently sick back in the hotel room. She'd had too much to drink (bless her!) and was a poor lil pup for a few hours.

WOW!!! Can't believe it's been 3 months since i've updated this site....I'm slacking! tut tut lol

Well, Sara's been busy working like many of us and not had enough girly time. The last time i had a proper girly night out was at the end of October. However, Sara's next big night out will be later this month. Can't wait!

Although i haven't been out much, other things have made up for it. Earlier last month i came out to a girl at work (bless ya Elsa) I've also come out to another girl today (bless you too, Fiona!) Both girls were very understanding...or so they say! lol Only kiddin'

Another milestone in my transgendered life has been me buying my first make up set (bought it from my make up artist two weeks ago) Haven't started practising yet as i'm waiting for a DVD which gives me help in applying. I should be an expert by now with all the professional make overs i've had! lol Anyways, i'm not expecting to be an expert in make up appplication any time soon! lol

Can't wait for this weekend as i'm off to Puerta Banus in Marbella with my workmates for our Christmas Party....WOOHOO!!! Shame i can't go as Sara as it would be twice as fun then! Oh well! Shouldn't complain!

Hey! Sara's back! My sincere apologies that i haven't been updating this site. It's been due to two things....laziness and me being busy. Anyways, enough of the excuses and whatever.

Well, firstly, it's my 38th birthday today! I can't believe i'm 2 years nearer to the big 40...arrrgghhhh!!!!! I'm feeling really tired at the mo....might have something to do with the fact that i was out partying 'til 5.30 this morning! lol Had a nice time at my fave haunt, i.e. Pink Punters.

Last night was a special night as my brother met his 'sister' for the first time. He's been saying for ages that he'd like to meet Sara and it finally happened. I was nervous as hell when me and Michelle came out from having our make overs done (thanks again to Jodie Lynn at the Boudoir for a great job done!) When my bro saw me as Sara he admitted that i looked better in the flesh than in the pix i'd shown him...awwww, bless him! Will have to pay him £50 for saying that when i've got some spare cash! It was difficult to switch off from being my bro's bro in front of him. Quite a surreal experience really. My bro admitted to being nervous, too. I jokingly said that he should dress up and come out with us! lol Anyways, a good night was had by all and hope my brother will join his sister again in the near future.

So, what else have i been up to? Well, me and Michelle returned from a really nice, 2 week break in Majorca 2 weeks ago. Stayed in a resort called Santa Ponsa and it was really relaxing....and hot! Love it! hehe The hotel we stayed in, i.e. Jardin Del Sol Suites & Spa was fab and we had a great view of Santa Ponsa Bay from our balcony on the top floor of the hotel. Jacuzzi's in every room too!

Whilst away, i was brave enough to wear bikini bottoms around the hotel pool and at the beach (bearing in mind i was in male mode!) As i haven't learnt to do my own make up yet, i had to substitute being Sara by expressing my feminine side in other ways. The bikini bottoms weren't too conspicuous but at least i knew they were female.

We're hoping to return to Santa Ponsa next year. In the meantime, we've booked up a 2 week break in Florida for September 2008. Looking forwarding to returning to Florida. Last time we were there was in 2004.

Expressing my feminine side at work is getting more fulfilling. Unfortunately, i'm not going to work enfemme, unless you count the womens' trousers i wear and knickers 24/7. However, for some time now, i've been going into work with french-manicured nails and wearing mascara. It appears that most, if not all of work colleagues know about my girly side. Have come out to a few and you can be sure everyone else knows! lol My new-found freedom to express myself more freely at work has meant that i haven't had the need to go out dressed enfemme as frequently (last time i was out as Sara was back in April)

So What's Sara Been Up To?