VRATHA LAND...
ADOLF HITLER WAS A LITTLE MORE OPEN MINDED THAN YOU
Introduction
"Ella le gusta la gasolina... Dame mas gasolina...
Como le encanta la gasolina... Dame mas gasolina..."
We wank with our gasolina.
Welcome, welcome Vrathas and Vrathettes to this site. No Fear�, for there is this amazing beat playing to make everyone realize what a wonderful place this land we live on is all about. I love the standard Vratha. They want to be 'gangsters', King Africa and Spanglish at the same time. I must give Gibraltar credit. Nobody like is like them in the world. That's the whole point of the website.
What makes Gibraltar so different? I will now show you.
** Please Keep In Mind That This Is A Parody Site**
IE - It's just here for a laugh. For people with a sense of humour that is, so eef you don't laik, you don't look okei?
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This site conveys the personal opinions of the author and does not represent any other party.
The content of this site should be regarded as tongue-in-cheek and non-inflammatory.
Please send any complaints or hate-mail to vrathalandhatemail@hotmail.com.
Ape Culling? Preposterous.
Before I go into detail here, let me just say... they're not apes, damn it. They're monkeys. If they've got tails, they're fucking monkeys. Thanks.
Now let's consider the over-population factor in Gibraltar... the super religious bishop cunt was a little too bored with his child porn one day and he decided he was going to demand that women are prescribed for contraception pills. GREAT IDEA you cunt... you and your religious impractical morals have just helped Gibraltar double in population, when it was already over-populated in the first place, since thirteen year olds have nothing better to do in Gibraltar than to punch out brat obnoxious kids, along with all the adults.
Perhaps de Cheef Minestra could have considered solving the problem of the overpopulation of the Human-Simeon race in Gibraltar... perhaps he could have then considered the 'apes' - of which I think are much more developed for intelligence anyway...
UNFORTUNATELY Mr Cheef Minestra; the Barbary Macaques are one of the biggest attractions of Gibraltar... and I find there is much more of likely odds that one could receive interesting conversation with a monkey than with the standard Gibraltarian. Why don't you let the tourists know that you're murdering the only free-born monkeys in Europe? Good idea... that'll be a real charmer.
It's a shame that de Cheef Minestra has been out-witted by a big bunch of primates. The reason why the Macaques head down into the town is because they're bored up on the rock where their Cheef Minestra has abandoned them and is only using them to attract tourists. If it wasn't for that, they know that de Cheef Minestra would just kill them all. Which is something that he should consider with 99.9% of the 'human' population in Vratha Land.
How about tying up all the brat bastard* (literal terms) children of Gibraltar? Aren't they misbehaved too? And yeah, I'm sure they also bite. They're probably also infected with rabies, or whatever condition it causes for the bottom jaw to stick down so low and heavy so that they can't close their mouthes when they're thinking.
Think Mr. Cheef Minestra... think.
New Look.
How's the new look? The guestbook is open again... Go slag this website off to your heart's content...
You guys think you're gangstas?
You's ain't no mo gangsta than me, homies!
FURBOH!
Oh well, the great oh so infamous (in the world of those sane) furboh world cup final took place yesterday, on the 18/05/06, as most of you vrathas should know. I'm not one who gives a flying fuck about football, cause it doesn't affect my life, all it is, is 22 guys running down a pitch chasing a ball over in god knows where. I'm not about to go out of my house and cheer for these idiots, who are making more money than anyone in Gib does a month, these people who'd not care at all, within the slightest (or cheered) if i got promoted at work, ETC. What really gets me though, is apart from the fact that Gibraltar takes stupid irrelevant things, such as football so bloody seriously, is the fact that they're hypocritical.
So we're all British, right? We hate Spain, right? (Even though a lot of us live there and shop there). So why flip out with glee when a Spanish team wins? Barcelona wins Arsenal and you hear little kids screaming out their windows when I was trying to take a rest, using my time thinking about my own life and things worth thinking about, not even bothering with the fact that there's a world cup final on. Why wasn't I bothering? Maybe cause I have a life? Maybe cause men handling balls isn't so interesting to me? (Tells you a lot about the sexual orientation in male football fans) And I couldn't rest, let alone hear myself bloody THINK cause all I could hear was football, football, football! Is it that big of a fucking deal?
Anyway, the whole point of this entry was just to prove that Gibraltarians are hypocrites, cause they go on and on about how british they are, and how non Spanish they are, and then when a Spanish football team wins, (THE TEAM THEY SUPPORT!) they scream out their windows and run to the Watergardens water fountain on a week night and cheer in SPANISH about how Arsenal suck and Barcelona and nadie más. You just let Gibraltar itself down by saying that cause Gibraltar happens to be a part of Britain! Forgot that, didn't ya!
I don't want to hear anymore about how mean this website is to Gibraltar, cause you're slagging it off in every day life yourselves!
Concrete
The Magic Garden
I'm feeling sick right now. Now as I'm typing out this new bulletin I'm watching GBC. It's a show called 'Magic Garden', it's a children's TV show (Like any kids will be watching GBC when Cartoon Network plays 24 hours a day) where this woman with a classic Llanita accent is speaking to children, educating them with fairies, flowers, dolphins, fingerpainting and alsorts... And also language. Ironic, huh. It disturbs me to my very soul. If only we could get kids to watch that show and have someone proper like a refined english woman present it, without patronising them so blatantly. No wonder Gibraltarians can be such dumbasses.
... Oh my god she just swiped a blindfold off a little boy cause it was pink. "No! Pink is for girls!" Just the sort of material a Gibraltarian child should learn. More generalizing and narrow minded thought to feed to the youth of Gibraltar.
Uncylopedia Defines 'Gibberish'
A friend linked me to this: http://www.uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Gibberish I found it amazing. I have NO clue how Uncyclopedia.org knew about Gibraltar and it's immense language. Check it out.
Sponsors
Results
So I put up two voting polls. After a long time of letting people vote I've decided to close the poll and show the results.
Question 1: Do you want Vratha Land to stay online?
"Yes!" 92% (159 votes)
"No." 8% (13 votes)
Naturally the people who voted "No" are the sad fucks with no sense of humour. You've been outnumbered!
Question 2: Does Gibraltar really suck?
"YES!" 16% (32 votes)
"Well, Most of the time." 13% (26 votes)
"No... But It can be shit in some cases." 53% (108 votes)
"No, I love everything about Gib!" 11% (22 votes)
"George." 8% (16 votes)
Well, it seems most people like the comforts of Gib but hate the limitations. I'm surprised more people didn't vote for George.
Ladies and Gentlemen, Vrathas and Vrathettes, Vratha Land is staying ONLINE!
It seems that I am not the only one
A friend linked me to this: Anti Honda/Acura
I was beyond amazed to find someone who doesn't like these sorts of cars even more than I do. Naturally I have my own reasons to not like them, and the main one is only cause the majority of guys who buy them turn into cocks. Not all, but most. Trust me, I know from experience.
Another bit of news: I'm starting a Honda Civic watch soon.
Also, make it a point of watching this -----> Honda's - Don't Drink And Drive
News
New website title.
I’ve decided to change the title of the site to something that corresponds more to the theme of the site, cause truly this site is based more on Vratha’s than it is about Gibraltar as a whole. So I changed it to Vratha Land. Voila.
Bulletin
I have formed an army.
Within the last three days (when I published the site) Gibraltarians on the internet have been having some fun, it seems. I really just made this website as a small funny one for them and I to laugh at. Somehow it spread all over the internet, through email forwards and through MSN nicknames. I am highly surprised that so many people will view a freewebs site and find it so amazing. This site has spread so fast. Within a day and a half, there have been 77 posts in my Guestbook, and within less than 24 hours, 190 posts in the forum and 10 members (including me) have joined.
I just want to let you guys know - for whomever it offends, I’m not going to change it just cause so many people have found it. It’s not my fault it spread about so much. I’m leaving it as I created it in the beginning.
WORLD DOMINATION MENG
Ariticle: For Parents: How To Tell If Your Child Will Become A Vratha In The Future.
Article submitted by 'Otherside'
For Parents: How To Tell If Your Child Will Become A Vratha In The Future
Early signs (12+)
Symptom:
Spending all day in the estate or in other people’s estates riding around pointlessly on bicycles thinking they are cool and are riding proper motorbikes. At this age early signs of adult Vrathaness can show including showing off to the young soon to be Vrathetes doing pointless wheelies or riding without touching the handle bar.
Cure:
Immediately remove there bike and try to get them to find better friends and get them into other productive activities even video games would be an improvement.
Symptom:
Child refuses to wear anything other than designer label tracksuits and trainers and will not be caught dead wearing anything that doesn’t’t have a Nike tick or any other major brand. At this age the child will also tend to either shave is hair completely or keep it really short.
Cure:
This is quite a severe stage once your child reaches this stage it gets worse there’s little you can do but try to encourage your child to participate in other activities and stop buying them designer label stuff (although you must be careful with this as it could lead to early drug dealing)
Symptom
Wearing gold chains and earrings. The gold chains are usually oversized and sometimes multiple chains are worn this could probably lead to neck problems when the child is older.
Cure:
Same as above this is quite severe and all you can do is try to keep your child away gold chains and piercing and hope there smart enough not to get into drug dealing
Symptom
Smoking maybe even doing some soft drugs this is usually done to make them look older or cooler and this is the time when they start ascending to full Vrathahood
Cure
This is were you have to be tough with your child you need to find a way to keep them off drugs and cigs because if they start at this age they will have serious health problems when they are older.
Symptom
Your child wanting to go every Friday to EL JOOF (the youth centre) for a disco apparently there will be ‘musikeo’ there (good music). This stage is very dangerous this could even lead to teenage pregnancy: S
Cure
Get your child into English lessons there speaking is terrible also give them an early curfew or prevent them from going to the youth center. Guys at this age will think of sleeping with girls as a cool thing to brag about and are usually careless with how they go about sex so teach them about proper sex education and how to use a flipping condom FFS!!!. Girls at this age will also think sex as a cool thing and the bragging rites of YO ME FOLLE ESE!! Will also give them admiration among the other Vrathettes although this is volatile territory look at another Vrathettes man and your looking at a big cat fight :P. Now the easy way to stop girls is prevent them from buying fuck me boots or any other slutty clothing girls dressed nice and appropriate lose the appeal to Vratha as they look like a challenge to bed.
Age: 17 (or what I would like to call ascension :P)
The only way you can probably stop ascension is not buying a bike for your child although if your child is already deep into the Vratha society he will do fine just hopping on the back of his friends bike. All the stages of young Vrathaness apply here including the first showing off to girls on your bike is still cool apparently. This year your child will undergo a metamorphosis of sorts you can compare it to the diagram below:
Your child the caterpillar who owns a bicycle at 17 will sort of cocoon himself on a year of riding a bike by the time he hits 18 and he gets his civic (or any other car which he can fit neon’s on to and still be seen as cool by the Vratha and Vrathetes)
this is what I call the butterfly stage (should be moth stage) when the Vratha is in full bloom and has his shiny civic this is when you know your child is gone and you have failed as a parent you can only look at what your child has now become and think what have I done wrong ?.
Any young parents who realize the symptoms listed should take immediate action to stop this from happening.