Title: Ice
Author: Cags
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Not mine. Never will be.
Damn shame though.
Summery: Post Lost City and I make lots
of assumptions. Written way before S8 aired so probably doesn’t fit into the
real timeline too well now.
Season/Spoiler info: Lost City
Cold.
This and
the sound of her breathing were the only sensations she had to guide her. To
provide her with the much needed proof that she was still alive. Darkness
shrouded her in her tiny bunk beneath who knew how many aeons of ice. She
opened her eyes to the slightly grayish blackness and watched clouds of
condensation from her breath puff briefly to bring life into the darkness. Her
skin prickled with the cold despite her layers of clothes and her thermal
blankets.
Ice.
Built as a
palace of ice, the sheen and slick walls faintly glistened and she realised
numbly that in the cold darkness she could imagine patterns in the ice.
Faces.
His face.
His eyes
dead and yet so full of soul, captured unblinking as they gazed at her in his
final moments of lucidity.
Did he see
her still?
Was there
anything left of the man he had once been?
She sighed
pushing the pointless speculation away and rolled over, curling into herself. In
the still cold darkness another sensation became apparent. She could hear her
heart. She wondered if she were quiet enough she might press her ear to his icy
tomb and hear his heart beating in unison.
With a
frown she dismissed her sudden fanciful longings and cursed the forbidden
emotions that embodied them. She had, she supposed, moved on from that path,
with regret but with acknowledgement of its necessity. Still she cared too much
for him, she acknowledged miserably. She cared enough to be lying here in the
still cold darkness unable to seek solace in sleep.
Unlike he,
who slept soundlessly and so very still.
With
another sigh she silently stole from her bunk, not bothering to slip boots over
her thick socks, nor to shed the blankets from her frame. She padded quietly
into the eerie dark and sought him out.
She
approached cautiously half expecting him the blink and offer her that tight
little crinkle eyed smile that he often bestowed on her like a special prize.
Instead he remained, as always, locked in an expression of sad longing and she
was reminded painfully that his gaze had been upon her when he froze. The
thought sparked a moment of warmth deep within her.
She stood
slightly to the left of him, so that his gaze once again fell upon her.
Standing toes touching the clear barrier encasing him she pushed her face as
close to his as she could, her hand reaching out to touch the ice over his
heart. Holding her breath she pressed her ear to the spot just below her hand
and waited, expecting to hear something.
Silence.
Not quite
silence.
A random
distant thunder, barely audible within the structure, rolled around them. Ice
groaning under the weight of its years. The others who lay sleeping muttering
and snoring. Why had she not noticed those sounds before? Was it that she was
so still and silent herself now? She pulled her head away and stared into his
face again. Memorizing his features in case she should ever forget them.
The cold
crept up her legs as she stood there, slowly turning her veins to ice. Numbness
clawed at her body but she couldn’t or wouldn’t move away just yet. For an
absurd moment she was reminded of the tale of the Laurel tree and how the fair
maiden, Daphne, had begged to be turned into one to escape the fierce love of
Apollo, and she wondered if the very thing was happening to her in reverse. If
her fierce dedication to him would root her to the spot and in the morning the
others would wake and find her stood toe to toe just as frozen and he. She
wished it could happen so that she might not spend another moment nursing the
ache within her as she yearned just to hear his voice even if only to utter an
exasperated curse.
Suddenly
she was gripped with an urge to break the unbearable silence with its mournful
ice wails and to speak. Just the talk to him, hear his name on her lips and the
words she had waned to utter but that had been denied release. She opened her
mouth to formulate a sentence but her throat stuck and all that came out was a
harsh sigh. She closed her eyes and blinked back tears of frustration. Even
like this when he could not possibly hear she could not express herself openly
and honestly. She cursed the part of her that sequestered her feelings to
tightly within her walls.
“You still
here?”
Daniel.
She was
started by the sudden noise and wondered how long she’s really been there, looking
up to see him standing slightly behind her.
She
smirked “Still?”
He
shrugged and looked slightly embarrassed. “Yeah I, er…I heard you get up. Then
I kind of drifted back to sleep for a while and then…well here you still are.”
“Here I
am.” She sighed.
Carry on
like this and people will think…actually she didn’t care what people thought.
If they couldn’t find a way to bring him back, preferably as he was before the
Ancient knowledge overtook his brain, then it really didn’t matter. The whole
goddamn world could be gossiping about how a certain USAF major seemed to be
pining a little for her CO and might be spending far too long hanging out in
front of an ice sculpture of a man who was, in every sense, a hero. Now she was
damn well writing his obituary in her head. He wasn’t dead yet dammit. He
wasn’t dead at all if she could do anything about it.
“You should
get some sleep.” He added with a concerned frown.
She shook
her head. “Not tired.”
“C’mon
Sam.”
She turned
around to see his concerned compassionate expression and acquiesced. He held
out a hand towards her and she took it, relishing the warmth of his fingers
rubbing at her chilled skin.
“You know
they’re nearly finished cataloguing this place now?” Daniel mused
conversationally.
“Mmm.” She
responded.
“So I think they’re gonna recall us. General
Hammond has used up more than his fair share of favors to allow us to even hang
about this long. I mean it’s not as if we’re contributing much that the science
team can’t cope with.”
“We’re
expressing professional interest,
Daniel.”
“Oh is
that what it is?” He cast a sly sideways glance as her, which she caught and
looked away embarrassed.
“We did
save the planet.” She added wryly, with a backwards glance into the ice chamber
and it’s lonely frozen resident. “Well, he did.”
Daniel answered her with a silent question.
“Oh come
on you want to…to…” She groped for the right expression for her feelings “…get
him back as much as I do!”
“Yeah but
I don’t think freezing our nuts off down here is gonna help somehow.”
“Yeah, I
have an idea.”
“As
always.”
Sam
nodded. “Just got to convince Weir that this is a good idea.”
“Yeah.”
Daniel started walking again. “Well if you and I can’t convince her I’m sure
Teal’c will win her over with his charm.”
Sam
stopped and tilted her head at him in a puzzled smile.
“Uh,
sorry. Think I’m over compensating for the lack of…uh…” He chucked a thumb back
towards Jack.
Sam smiled
affectionately and nodded, feeling more confident that she’ll get to hear the Colonel
making similar raspy voiced cracks himself in the very near future.
“But right
now you need sleep Sam.” He yawned for emphasis and Sam found herself yawning
as well. “C’mon, I’ll tuck you in.”
She smiled
sleepily and followed him back out to their sleeping area.
(And now
you’re sleeping peacefully, I lie awake and pray
That
you’ll be strong tomorrow and we live to see the day and we will
Praise him
and love the light that shines across your face.)
~Hold on,
by Sarah Mclachlan.