if u wanna email me its  Savagrdn@aol.com
please read these storys in order.
Pittsburgh part 1 

Disclaimer: i wrote this, this story is not true. i wrote this in 2003

It was late Tuesday night in Pittsburgh. A 19 year old teenage girl, sits alone behind the

Petterson center. She shivers from the cold and wipes her nose on the edge of her made hoodie sleeve.

“Ok I think that’s the last of them.” Said the security guard.

They watched the last few fans walk down the street towards the parking lot.

“No wait I think we missed one, I see one sitting by the building…I hope that’s the last one. My hands getting tired from signing pics.” Said Joel.

“I love meeting fans.” Said Benji.

They went over to her there body guard started to follow them.

“Dude were ok with this one, its just one girl... no harm in that.”

“Ok if you need me page me, ill watch you guys from the tour bus.”

They went over to the fan. They noticed she was sitting, hugging her knees, gently rocking back and forth. They got closer to her and they could hear her crying.

“What should I do?” Joel asked to Benji.

“I don’t know... ask her if she’s ok.”

Joel sat down beside her.

“Hey.. you alright?"

They heard her whisper no.

“Are you a run away?”
”No...” She looked up. She saw them, the blurry ness of her eyes from tears and the lights above from the streets, made them look like angels.

“I came here…. To see you.. And my friends left me.”

“Left you, where did they go?”
”Home… back to Ohio.”

“So... You’re stuck here.. Do you have a hotel to go to?”

“No... We were gonna drive back together... they…….just walked off...we got in an argument.” She sniffled and rubbed her nose against her sleeve a bit.

“Was it a physical fight?”

“No…. but  ... I had a pocket knife in my pocket.” She raised her sleeve to show a cut on her wrist. Blood had dried a bit. A dried drip down her arm.

Benji took off his hat and bandana. He wrapped the bandana around her wrist.

“Did you cut anywhere else?”

She leaned against Joel. Who was sitting next to her.

“Why don’t you come to the tour bus with us, we’ll work something out. We can’t just have you sit out here.” Said Benji.

“Really, you’d let me stay on your bus. I’m not gonna get in trouble.”

***
”Is she ok dude?” Billy asked Benji.

“Yea.. She’ll be fine. I don’t think she’s used to this, guys taking care of her.” Said Benji.

Heather was sitting up front on a couch. Joel was cleaning her cuts with medicine.

“So, why did you come to Pittsburgh to see us?”
”Because…I wanted to get away, be far away from where I live.”

“So in a way you are a run away.” Said Joel.

“Yes, I guess. I’ve always wanted to run away.” Said Heather.

“Have you done this before?” Joel asked as he put the bandage on her wrist.

“Yes, I’ve never used a pocket knife before.”

“Were going to get you help. You shouldn’t go home until your ok. Where you don’t have to do this again.”

She saw Benji walk in, and sat down next to her.

“Dr. Joel here... how are you doing?” asked benji.

Heather lowered her sleeve, to cover her wrist.

“My wrist still stings... I feel warm. Can I step outside and get some fresh air.”

“Sure. Let me just tell the bus driver to stop.”

The bus pulled over to the side of the road.

“I won’t be to long.”

The driver opened the door and she stepped out. She started to walk down the side of the driveway towards a nearby bridge.

“Hey someone should go with her, make sure she’s ok.” Said Billy.

“I feel bad for her, like I want to do something for her.” Said Benji, as he looked over at the picture of cashdog.
”dude, you don’t…like have feelings for her.. She’s kinda mentally unstable.”

“Growing up, we weren’t mentally stable either.”

“We weren’t, but we never cut ourselves.”

Benji looked out the window. He didn’t see her standing near the bus.

“We’d better get going, if we want to be home by tomorrow morning.”
”Where’s she gonna go, I don’t think we should take her to a hospital.”

“Well, I’m sure we have some friends, maybe we could drop her off at Sarah’s for the weekend while where home.”

Benji pulled up his hood, on his made hoodie, and zipped up the front. And put on Joel’s skeleton gloves. It was late fall already and it was cold outside.

She was no where to be found.. not in the back of the tour bus.. Or on the other side. He didn’t know weither she smoked or not, he assumed maybe she was having a cigarette.

He saw her in the distance, on a freeway bridge, just standing there, on the curb, looking over the fence.

“Heather, you ok?”
She was startled by his voice that awoke her from the trance she was in.

She looked at him, her eyes red, eyelashes wet.

“Yea. I’m fine. Just.. observing the stars up above.. and the cars.. Below on the freeway, I wonder how fast there going.”

“Probably pretty fast, it’s a long way down from up here.” Benji walked closer to her,“Look I know what you’re going through.”

“Your taking me to a hospital aren’t you?”
”What.. No way, mostly likely to Sarah’s apartment for the weekend. But if you’d like us to take you to counseling we can, we’ll do whatever we need to do.”

“I don’t want to go home anymore.”
”You don’t need to go home if you don’t want to. But you watch, you hang out on the tour bus for a night, we’ll make you laugh I’m sure.”

She half smiled then frowned again.

“Come on.”

 She followed him back towards the bus.

“You weren’t really gonna jump were you?”
She didn’t answer.

“I’ve lost to many people, I don’t want you to become a memory, another set of initials to write on my hand.”

Then just out of the blue she gave him a quick hug and said thank you.

The rest of the band was watching from the window.

After they got on the tour bus, Joel, Paul and Billy smiled at them.

“Dude that was sweet.” Said Joel.

“Yea reminded me of Jack and Sally.”

“Jack and Sally?”
”Nightmare before Christmas, don’t tell me you haven’t seen that movie.” Asked Billy.
”Yes! She has.” Said Benji.

I looked at Benji confused.

“If you would have said no, we would have had to watch it for the 38th time.” Said Benji quietly.

“So... what can we help you with?” asked Paul.

“What do you mean?”
”Well there has to be more then just your friends that made you want to cut, your parents and friends aren’t around so you can share with us whatever you want.”

“My parents.. my mom.. She’s never around, my dad.. I feel like he treats me like a child.”
”Dads suck.” Said Joel.

“Yea.. Our mom, she never understood, trying to start a band…the music we listened to, she thought all of it as evil.” Said Benji.

“I had a great mom and dad.” Said Billy.

“Me too.” said Paul.

Benji’s cell phone went off.

“If it’s Christina…..”
”No.. its Tony. Don’t worry Christina wouldn’t call me,, hey Tony, how the fuck are ya buddy.” Benji smiled.

“So tell us more, like do your parents know you feel this way?” asked Paul.
”No.. They have no idea, how I’ve felt, what I’ve done to myself.”

“Whenever I feel down, I think about Cashdog, most of the time when I’m depressed.. It’s because I miss cash, that’s why we always keep a picture of cash around. Josh takes care of him when were out of town.”

“Tony says listen to hold on.”

“I have.. it helps.”
”And he says we should take you to a Mest party. Yea what are you guys doin tonight... oh ok… no Tony your not cutting her clothes off. You can cut mine off... i don’t mind that.”

“So your parents are divorced?”
”yea…they divorced when I was seven… my mom remarried, the same month I graduated from high school, and I moved to a new house too…my dads trying to make up for all the years we didn’t visit each other.”

“Tony wants to know if you drink?” asked Benji.

“Yes.. I drink, not socially.”

“I’m glad we found you before it was to late.” Said Joel. He said, looking down at his hand, running his fingers over the AMC.

Benji turned off his cell phone.

“You hungry?”
”No.. that’s ok, thanks anyway.”
”Did you have dinner before the concert?”
”No.. it’s ok really. I think I’m gonna go take a nap.”

“Sure... bunk beds...hmm...we have an extra one, bottom bunk, the last one in the back on the left.”

“Were gonna play golf on our play station for awhile.”

She walked to the back towards the bunk bed.

“Do you guys have a extra tooth brush and tooth paste?”
”Yea in the cupboard.. the bathrooms in back to the left.. after the bunk beds. Cupboards above the sink.. I should brush my teeth too.”
Benji was just starting to think up excuses to spend time with her so he would know she’s ok.

Benji walked back with her.
”Dude... if he spends to much time with her, he’s gonna start getting depressed too. He’ll go back to Prozac. She’s the last thing Benji needs in his life.”

“Benji was on Prozac.”

“Yea.. after our dad left.. mom got worried about him, suicide attempts…so he was put on Prozac.”

“Hey… yea... toothbrushes.”
”Damn Benji you have enough hair dye?” heather said looking at the 2 rows of hair dye in the cupboard.

“Yea... you know what... the first thing you need to do, to be happier about your life, is change something about yourself... hmmm… how would u like a little color in your hair.”

“I’d like red.”

Benji got the red hair dye and ran a little streak of it down near the bangs... on the right side of my head.

“Cool.” Said Heather,“You got enough painkillers.” Looking at the bottles lined up on the bottom shelf.

“Yea... the band needs it after concerts, all that screaming.” Benji finished brushing his teeth.“Ok I'm gonna go back to the front room, play some video games for awhile.”

“Alright, thank you.”

“Hospital dude.” Said Joel as Benji sat down and grabbed the game controller.

“Shut up.”

“Dude I’m just lookin out for you. That kind of girl is not good to have around. She’s gonna bring everyone down with her problems.” Said Joel.

“Having a girlfriend and being in a band isn’t so bad.” Said Billy.

She eyed the painkiller bottles, took one off the shelf. And opened it. Counted how many was left. And put it back.

***

“Sarah has a nice place.”

“Yea it’s a good neighborhood, Waldorf. She never wanted to leave, cause with our mom being sick. She visits her often to take care of her.”

The tour bus pulled in the driveway.

“Does she live with a room mate?”
”Nope, just her. You guys will get along great. Plus you’ll get advice from a girl’s point of view.”

“Maybe she can improve your self esteem.” Said Joel.

“That’s Joel for ya, always stating the obvious.” Said Paul.

Sarah had a two story white house, very friendly, flowers in the front yard. A red volts wagon beetle in the driveway.

She opened the door.

“Hi, Benj, wow what did you do to your hair this time… a Mohawk again. And Joel... look at you...following in your brothers foot steps.”

Sarah smiled and hugged them.

“Paul, Billy ... Always happy to see the whole GC family. Come in, stay for awhile.”
”Can’t... we want to go visit mom, how is she doing?”
”She’s better, getting out more; I shopped with her, at the Annapolis mall. The hair dresser place asked about you, wondering when you’re coming back to work.”
Joel laughed.

“And whose this…” she took one look at heather, “I told you I’m not holding a safe house for your groupies.”

“No... She’s not a groupie. Sarah where’s your manners, this is Heather. She’s going to be staying with you for awhile. She needs a place to stay.”
”You guys could have called ahead of time.”

“Can you excuse us Heather?”

“Uh… Yea sure.” Heather went back to the tour bus.
”But you have a extra room.” said Joel, “It’s either she stays here, or where taking her to a hospital.”

“Well... you’re not giving me much room to say no.” said Sarah.

“Please... We did a lot for you growing up. Who worked all those hours so you could have a close to as normal life as possible? Paying the bills and everything… It’s just for one weekend.”

“Ok, ok, ill let her stay.”

“She has some emotional issues… so just watch out for her, take her shopping. She’s got very low self esteem.”

“Well Benji sounds like your last girlfriend.”

“We got some presents for you from the road.”

Joel gave her the bag he was holding, “just some c-d’s we found from b-side records. We were there for awhile filming all things rock.”

“Aww thank you so much.”

They went back to the tour bus and got heather.

“She said yes, so its ok... You got all your stuff together, don’t want you to forget anything.”
”I just had my purse that’s all.”

“Well Sarah’s gonna take you shopping.”

“Is she nice... She’s not gonna be mean to me and leave me at her house while she goes out and parties.”

“Nope, she’s nothing like girls you probably were friends with in high school, she’s a very kind, outgoing, generous girl. She just finished up her first year at Maryland state university.”

Benji and Joel walked with heather up to the front door.

She greeted Sarah, Sarah smiled and shook her hand.

“Well have a lot of fun I’m sure. Paint our nails. Go to the spa.”

“Hey Benji might want to stay for that... he’s into that kind of stuff.” Said Joel.

“You guys are still making fun of each other... Thought you two would grow out of it.”

“Nope... he’s still a asshole.” Said Benji smiling.

They said goodbye and got back on the bus.

“So….Why are you really here?” Heather turned to see Sarah standing at the doorway. Looking at her like she had just robbed a store.

Without letting heather answer she said, “I know why you’re here... Your just trying to find out information about my brothers... this is all a secret scam... for you and your friends to meet the band... so you can take pictures of everything and go put it on websites…or... your thinking you can be his girlfriend so you can be on MTV and be famous for a few months.. what is it?”
”No... I’m not...” She felt helpless, scared and lost.

“I saw the way my brother looked at you.” She paused. “I haven’t seen him act like that... in a long time, and if this is all some kind of trick.”

Heather pulled down her sleeves to her shirt. Gently peeled away the gauze.

“There ya happy! I'm not the girl you thought I was.”

Heather turned around... towards the sidewalk.

“Where are you going?”

She sat down, and got out her cell phone.

“No... wait.. Hey... sorry about that.. I get those angry outbursts from my dad I think, you should come inside the house, its cold outside.”
”I don’t care.”

“I have makeup that you can put on those scars. I used to cut too. I never told Benj or Joel but, razors, knifes... been there done that, come in.. I’ll make some tea and talk. You like tea?”
”Yes... I love tea.”

Heather stood up... and followed her into the house.

Sarah’s cell phone went off.

“Benj, you at moms yet?”
”No...  I found a sports store, they had cool golf stuff, how’s Heather doing?”
”Great... things didn’t start off good, I got a little bitchy at her.”
”Just when I told her you were a kind and nice girl, you be careful, if she leaves you, she’s got no where to go. Unless we come pick her up again.”
”No... Benj I can handle it. I’m in charge of the sorority at MSU, so I’ve dealt with girls emotional problems.”

“Ok, Tony’s here he wants to talk to heather, Mest was at a hotel in Waldorf, and we picked them up there hangin with us for awhile.”

Sarah gave me the cell phone.

“What’s up biatch?”

I could hear Joel in the background, “Don’t be insulted by that he calls all girls bitch’s.”

“I’m ok I guess.”
”Benj has been telling me about you, you sound pretty cute. To bad you can’t come to my party.”
”I thought you just liked guys.”
”I can still think girls are pretty. Like Amy Lee, she’s hot.”

Joel hit Tony’s shoulder, “Ya dumb fuck, Amy’s mine.”

“But anyway, you’re not used to accepting complements huh?”
”No.”

“You’re not real talkative are you?”
Benji grabbed the phone away.

“Hi, don’t listen to him. He’s got a hangover, I’ll let you go. I promise you’ll have more fun at Sarah’s then you would over here.”

“Ok... but if anything goes wrong, ill call you.”

She gave the phone back to Sarah.

“Yes I know... ok... I will.” She put her phone back in her purse.

“I guess I’ll show you your room.”

“How was Benji looking at me?”
Sarah didn’t answer her, just walked down the hallway, past the living room.

“Here... your rooms right across from mine, so I’ll hear you if you sneak out of the room…since were going shopping tomorrow for your new clothes, you can wear my clothes for now.” Sarah opened her closet. She was an Abercrombie and Fitch kind of girl. Not my type, but I had to deal with it.

“You have anything black to wear?”

“Nope, I try to be as different from my brothers as possible.”

Sarah showed me around the room, where everything was.

“Here, I have a extra journal. I want you to write, while you’re here, like if something’s bothering you, and feel free to share it with me later, so we can talk about it.”

It was a black leather book, with a black pen, black feather at the top of the pen.

She showed me in the main bathroom, she had makeup that helped make scars go away.

I put that on my wrists, and the scratch’s I made on my legs.

Sarah went to the kitchen and put child safety locks on the knife drawers, she had the safety locks because her best friend had a toddler that would come over sometimes.

“Well I’m going to sleep, I’m sure you had a late night, those guys don’t sleep much while there on tour. Ill have breakfast for you in the morning. Ill keep the hallway light on.”

”Thank you.”

“I’m really glad I can help you. With always having guys around in the house it will be nice to have you to hang out with.”

“Hey... I had no where else to go.”

Sarah smiled and shut the door.

I turned on the light beside the bed. And got out the journal she gave me. Decided to write down how I felt.

Sarah has let me into her house for the weekend, to change my personality, improve myself esteem, kind of friend therapy. I still want to cut though. Not like she could stop me. There’s probably something sharp in this room I could use, but I shouldn’t. I wonder what she meant by how Benji was looking at me. I have a feeling she’ll give up on me soon.

Heather thought back on yesterday, yesterday afternoon, she was just a good charlotte fan, going to there show. To escape out of Ohio for awhile. To be devoted and support her favorite band in the whole world. She smiled a little and turned off the light.

“Dude...” Joel woke up... his head hurt, there was a pizza box on his lap. He sat up and looked around the room. He remembered that he was at Tony’s party. Tony and Benji were sleeping on the floor near each other.

25 people crammed in the same room, Joel could smell cigarette smoke and beer.

Joel sat up and pushed the pizza box off his lap. Which fell on Paul, since Joel was sleeping on the couch.

“Ow…sick boy go back to sleep... it’s to early.”

Joel went over to where Tony was sleeping, “You got any food?”
Tony rolled over, “Fucked... up kids...”

“Ok I’ll get it myself.” Joel walked to the kitchen, making sure to step careful avoiding the people sleeping on the floor.

He found some doughnuts that were hard as a rock, and some old milk. With food poisoning earlier that year he didn’t trust Tony’s food much. All the pizza was eaten, all the beer was drunk. Beer bottles lined up on the sink. Someone was sleeping on the kitchen table.

Joel went back to the living room, and sat on the couch again, he found the remote that Billy was holding and turned on the TV but kept the sound down.

Tony woke up, looked around. “That was a fucking great party.”

Benji woke up. “Can we watch golf on TV?”

“That’s the first thing you say when you wake up, not surprised, and were watching baseball.”
”Golf.”

“Baseball!”

“Someday I’m gonna take one of your golf clubs and shove it up.”
 “Ok anyone want breakfast?”

Everyone else started waking up.

“Who are all of these people, I know you guys and something corporate is here…

But… wow the whole damn neighborhood’s here.”

“I put a free beer and pizza sign at the end of the street with my address.”

“Good idea.” Said Billy, “Hey nightmare before Christmas’s on!”

“Dude were not watching that.” Said Joel.

Tony went to the kitchen, GC got up and followed.

“Hey all we have is cereal.” Tony got out a bucket from under the sink.

“Ya sure that’s clean.”
”Don’t know don’t care.” He poured 3 boxes of different kinds of cereal into the bucket. Then he got out the milk.

“That milks old, I checked the expiration date this morning.”
”Oh that’s ok… ya just gotta shake the bottle up a bit. It’s fine.”

“Ew that’s sick dude.”

Tony drank some and put it back.

He grabbed a stack of plastic bowls and spoons.

More people started waking up. Got in line for cereal.

Heather had woken up early that morning. Peeled her white bed sheets off her bed. Tied the ends of them together. To make one long rope. Walked to the bedroom closet door. Draped the bed sheet rope over the closet door, and closed the door shut. She found a wooden chair.  She made a hoop at the one end of the rope. She smiled at her creativity.

Sarah walked in, she was carrying a tray of food.

“Hey… What are you doing!?” she put the tray of food down on a dresser by the doorway.

“I was getting ready for my escape.”

“I’m not gonna let you do this to yourself.” Sarah opened the closet and brought down the bed sheet, “You’re just going to have to sleep without bed sheets.”

She felt like she was caught red-handed. And now that Sarah has disrupted her plan, heather felt more sad.

“I made you breakfast in bed.” Heather sat back on the bed.

“Thanks.” Heather said quietly. There was a card on the corner of the tray by the food.

“What’s this?” Asked Heather.

“It’s a reminder card, a complement.”

She turned over the card and read its message, ‘You are wonderful.’ “I want you to tell yourself that, before you go to sleep and when you wake up.”

“I’m not wonderful.” I crumpled the note, and threw it in the trash.

“If I tell you enough, you’ll start to believe it, just like you started to believe those things kids teased you about growing up, you’ve been like brain washed into thinking your not good enough.”

“You wouldn’t understand.”
”I don’t understand, you think I wasn’t made fun of like Benji and Joel were. Yea I was a little bit more popular then them, so it wasn’t as bad, but still, I had to go and stick up for them so they wouldn’t get beaten up every day. They would say, your brothers are the freaks right. Id go to there baseball games when mom couldn’t and dad didn’t care. So don’t tell me I don’t understand.”

“Sorry…”

She sat on the bed.

“Come here I want to talk to you, here sit.”

Heather sat on a chair near by.

“I have a list of questions… That can help me understand you better. Like why you became depressed. Now you don’t have to answer these if you don’t want to. If you’d like to just write the answer down in your journal and tell me at a later time that’s ok with me. But know that whatever you tell me. Only I will know.”
”You won’t tell Benji or Joel?”
 “No. a promise is a promise. Working in a sorority its all about trust.”

"Ok... If you really want to know.”

“Your friends, didn’t want to know what was wrong?”
”They did… but then they’d get mad… or say I’m complaining that I need to grow up. So… I stopped sharing with them what was wrong.”

“Ok… Let’s start off…your childhood.” Sarah grabbed a journal off the desk to write in.

“Well… What do you want to know?”

 “Were you abused?”
”From my parents no… but my brother yes.”

“Verbal insults from your parents or family members?”
”Yes... My brother. ….my parents would leave for work and he’d baby-sit me…he’d just get really angry, and hit me, but he never got in trouble.”

“Did you ever tell your mom?”
”Yea of course, but she'd say he’s a guy and he’s older. Or some shit like that…I never understood it.”

“Benji told me you have asthma how was that when you were little?”
”Well… I had physical therapy, I spent the first 3 years of my life mostly in the hospital… I didn’t roller skate, or bike ride like the other kids were doing as kids.”

“So… You felt left out a lot? Did you have friends in elementary school?”

“Yes… I was accepted then. No one made fun of me. Life was good.”

“Tell me about your parents divorce?”
”Where are you getting all these questions?”
”Therapy… Our family was in group therapy, except my dad.” Said Sarah.

“I’m sorry…”

“No… don’t feel sorry. I accept it now.”

“You must still feel angry though.”
”Hey what’s this talk about Heather… me or you?”

Heather went silent.

“Ok… That’s what I thought, now… the divorce.”

 “Yea… my parents got divorced… when  I was seven.”
”Did you take it well?”

“Yea... They sent me and my brother to counseling. So it was ok… my dad moved out. Moved… about thirty minutes away.”

“Ok... Were you mad at your parents for splitting up?”
”Sure... I was more mad that we had to move, I moved to another area…switched school systems.”

“Did you tell your parents you were mad?”
”Yea... They always thought of it as me complaining. Or not being appreciative of what I have. Or being selfish.”

“Then what happened?”
”Well… I started 3rd grade…..then the teasing started in 4th.”
”And what did they tease you about?”
”My hair, the way I dressed. Everything….then when I got to middle school it got worse. I felt more left out. Cause there was cliques forming.”
”What was your brother doing at this time in your life?”
”Well… he was making lots of friends, getting a job. Getting a car. Forming his own band.”

“So you’re jealous I see?”
”Yes very, and he got straight A’s.”

“Yea… I used to compare myself to josh, he was the smart one in the family.”

“Then my dad moved farther away... not to far... but still…. Then my mom started dating...”

“How did that make you feel?”
”I hated it, I felt like these guys were taking time away from my mom spending time with me.”

“Ok, then what happened, tell me about high school.”
”Well... Teasing continued, the few friends I did have worked all the time. Every day. So id just have to find things to do alone on the weekends…when I was 15 I attempted getting my licenses, but I didn’t have anyone to practice with... kept getting my temporary…then I just gave up. Same thing with a job, I’d fill out tons of applications but no one called me back.”

Sarah was writing everything down.

“Then in 9th grade, I went to the school physiatrist, cause my science teacher found out I cut... And it helped for awhile... Then I thought I was better so I stopped going. I guess in 9th grade is when the depression set in… my brother graduated... and moved out. So that helped a bit.”

“Did you tell your friends you cut?”
”Oh yea, like id write stuff down, how I felt and id show it to them, they got angry. Like this is a stupid thing to do to yourself. You’re scaring me. I hid the scars by wearing long sleeved shirts. I did join the drama club in 9th grade, so that gave me something to do. But still I felt like an outsider.”

“Your mom never noticed the scars?”
”Yea she did once... She asked me what had happened. I said that hmm... Man it was so long ago I don’t remember... but she didn’t think much of it. So I just continued, then my mom found a boyfriend, which whenever he’d come over he’d tease me.”

“So… you’ve had like a vicious cycle of teasing in your life... by everyone around you.”
She nodded.

“What did he tease you about?”
”My friends, the music I listened to, the shows I watched…then in11th grade she told me and my brother that they were going to get married... which… I mean I should be happy for my mom... but I couldn’t.. it was 10 years since I had lived with a father type person.”

“You didn’t spend time at your dads?”
”Well... he worked a lot... like he worked after I got off school ... he’d get home at midnight... and…he’d have one day off... so I never stayed there.”

“So... what happened senior year of high school, usually that’s the best for high school students.”
”For me it was the worst…packing up my stuff... my mom would tell me that my stuff was crap... cause I had a lot of boxes.. Them planning the wedding... Having people see the house... I had lived there since I was 7…so... I …. All I wanted was just to finish the year in that room... you know… at least stay there till I graduated.”

“But you didn’t? Did you tell your dad what was bothering you?”

“Well... he’d ask sometimes... he realize something was wrong... but I never told him… I always said it’s ok…cause he thought of me as his little baby girl.”

“So... What happened at the end of your senior year?”
”Well... I graduated... had to let go of my friends.. Who still to this day don’t hear from.. Had to move... and live with a step dad. It’s like every other minute it would be confrontations. Everything he did just annoyed me. And he still teased me. They had the wedding... I actually didn’t even want to go, sounds mean of me huh?”
”No... It’s normal.”

“After the senior year….. Summer of 2002…it was all about dealing with living with my step dad... Kind of staying out of his way. They’d go on vacations... My mom and step dad... and leave me at the house... alone. Not that I didn’t like that. I loved it... but it would be like twice a month... and…. I just got jealous cause I never got to on vacations with them…that month I found a job.. My first job.. I was a bus girl, underpaid, and over worked. I thought my friends would be proud of me I got a job... but no... They just said... well now your learning responsibility….”

“Did you want to work?”
”No… well yea for my own personal benefit... to show myself that I could do it... but mostly it was to show my family and my friends that I could be responsible. And that I wasn’t a lazy teenager…during that summer I started taking pills…painkillers…..and I drank on and off for two years.”

“Not a good combination, do you know what they can do to you?”
”Yea… I know exactly what it can do. September 27th… 3am…. It was after a bad day…downed a couple of pills… and some beer...  was rushed to the emergency room.”

“A couple... how many?”
”30…” She whispered while looking down at the floor.

“Did your parents find out you did that?”
”No... They just thought I had the stomach flu... It was scary being back at the hospital…reminded me of what it was like when I was a baby... to get a IV again… after that I didn’t take more pills…and I eventually stopped drinking.”

Sarah was trying to not let her guard down, and get upset. But in the back of her mind, she kept thinking why a teenager would do this to herself... When she had so much to look forward to.

“So... Wow…what’s happened since the hospital stay?”
”Well... I go to college now... and, I’ve made a few more friends, but still its like there just people I hang out with at college... I don’t really visit them outside of college. I don’t talk to them on the phone either.”

“Well that’s good, I think its good too that your out of high school, don’t have to worry about those kids that made fun of you. How does your step dad treat you now?”
”Well... he still reminds me every day to get a job, and he tells me I’m lazy, and I need to do something productive. Even when I tell him I’m busy in college, it’s like its not good enough for him.”

“What about your dad?”
”Well... I spend some time with him, but he still bugs me about college, and am I taking all my asthma medicine, and about getting my license.”

“How are you in college?”
”I’m an average student.”
”What do you want to be when you grow up?”

“I want to be a artist or a writer, like maybe to illustrations for children’s books or magazines, and with the writer idea... Well... I’ve liked writing for awhile.”

“Pretty soon you’ll realize... that you can live your life... and accomplish your goal.”

She looked over the notes she made. Looked a little surprised.

“Well... out of our whole conversation, you never mentioned guys in your life.”

Heather got a glazed, dreary look in her eyes.

“Come on... I’m sure there’s someone.” Sarah said as she nudged her gently with her arm.

She looked down, she heard her sniffle.

Sarah looked at her watch, “Well…I think we’ve had enough conversation for one morning... Don’t you feel better now that you’ve shared how you felt?”
Heather didn’t answer.

Sarah got off her bed, and went to the door with the journal she was writing in, she looked back to see heather wipe a tears from her cheeks.

“I’ll check back with you later.” Sarah closed the door.

Heather gritted her teeth, grabbed her black book and threw it at the door. Sarah could hear the hard bang. Flinched ... and felt tears in her eyes. She went to her bedroom.

There was a mirror that hung behind that door, which now shattered to pieces, and lay on the pink carpet.

She dabbed her wet eyes. And walked over to the shards of glass, and kneeled down on the floor in front of it.

Sarah sat in her bedroom, and picked up the phone to call Benji and Joel.

“Hey Sarah, is heather ok, you need us to pick her up?”
”No….no Benji, she’s alright. I just wanted to talk to you about her... Is Joel there?”
”Yea, he’s right here.”
”I need to talk to both of you.”
”Sure ill put you on the speaker phone…..ok hi.”
”Hi Sarah.” Said Joel, “you’ve been crying… I can tell.”

“I have not.”
”Yea... siblings can tell these things.” Said Joel.

“What’s going on?” asked Benji, “I knew this was a bad idea... leaving her at your place.”

“Benji would you shut up and just listen to me for a minute.”

Joel’s eyes widened a bit. “She told you dude.”

“I just had like an hour long conversation with Heather…some things I can tell you some things I can’t.”
”And why not... you used to share stuff with us. Especially important stuff.” Said Joel.

“She promised me not to tell.”

“Sarah... this is Heather’s life were talking about.” Said Benji.

“You want me to tell mom about the time you trashed the house cause of the party you had when mom was away for weekend therapy two years ago?”

“Look….. Last year she had an overdose…”
”On what…what happened?” Asked Joel.

Benji just stood there…shocked.

“She took painkiller and alcohol. Don’t tell her I told you please.”

“I won’t…we promise.”

“I seem to be the only person she can trust right now.” Said Sarah.

“I just…..can’t believe...” Benji got quiet.

“Benji….. Stop….I know what’s going on... and don’t.”
”What... you don’t know?”

“Yes I do… I saw the way you looked at her.”
”What I can’t look at girls now?”
”Benji... seriously... I don’t know what’s going to happen to her, or what she’s capable of... I don’t want you to do something tragic if she does.”

“Ok fine I won’t... I’ll keep my fucking mouth shut.”

Joel could hear Sarah sobbing quietly on the other line.

It started to remind him of the times there parents would argue… and there mom would end up upset.

“Sarah it’s gonna be ok.” Said Joel, “We’ll let you go ok... get some rest. Were gonna stay here at moms for the night.”

“Ok….bye.” Sarah hung up the phone. Dried her eyes with Kleenex. And went to check up on Heather.

“Heather?” Sarah opened the door slowly. Heather scooted back out of the way. Pushing the door open made some of the glass pieces move to the side.

“Heather…did you do this?”

She didn’t answer. Just sat there with a guilty look on her face.

“Go sit on the bed, while I sweep this up.”

She moved to the bed, Sarah went to the kitchen and got the broom and brush pan.

After Sarah swept it up and threw out the glass pieces, she walked over to Heather sitting on the bed.

“Let me see your wrists.”
”Huh?”
”Raise your sleeves.”

She did, and there were no marks.

“Good… Heather... please listen to me... If you do something to yourself... and Benji and Joel find out... They’ll think I wasn’t helping you. So please… try as hard as you can to not harm yourself… so I can give Benji and Joel a good report when I call them later.”

Heather nodded.

“So... let’s see... it’s almost 11:00am.. What do you think, you want to go to the mall with me, and do some shopping?”

“Ok... I guess.”

I put on my shoes that were underneath the bed.

And we put on our coats. We got in her volts wagon beetle car and headed north to Annapolis.

I attempted to put on the radio.

Good Charlotte’s “The Anthem” came on the radio. Sarah turned it off.

“No radio... let’s talk... Besides they play that song all the time…. So... tell me about your hometown.”
”Well... there isn’t much to do... they have the flats but that’s for twenty one and over.”
”So what do you like to do on your free time?”
”Um…read, go bowling, shop, and write.”

After that it was a quiet ride to Annapolis mall.

“Alright…were here. You’re not mad at me that I dragged you to the mall?”
”No... It’s ok... I like shopping it will be nice.”

She parked the car. Heather admired the mall, white walls on the outside. Wonderfully lit sign on the roof.

“Our mom worked here while we grew up.”

“Oh... cool.”

They walked in to the mall, at the food court entrance. Heather felt a chill of air when she stepped into the mall. Kids near by at a table eating McDonald’s foods.

“You hungry for lunch?”
”No.”
”You should eat something, you didn’t eat the breakfast I gave you this morning.If you don’t eat.”

Heather interrupted her, “Then I don’t get enough energy. And I get more immune to colds... yes I know dad lectures me about that all the time.”

They walked past a hot topic, heather started to walk in, Sarah grabbed the back of her shirt. “Oh no you don’t...”
”What why that’s my favorite store!”

“The clothes in there are to dark and depressing, I want you to try some color.”

I saw a guy with a red Mohawk wearing all black ride by on a lower rider bike. 4 other guys on bikes followed.

The only guys I knew that would ride around in a mall on lower rider bikes would be good charlotte.

Sarah spotted Benji as he rode by. “Hey, what are you guys doing here thought you were staying at moms for the day?”
”Well... She said we were helping out to much around the house, and that we should get out for awhile.”

“Tell Sarah that I can go into hot topic.” Said Heather.

Sarah rolled her eyes.

“Sure, why not.” Said Joel.

“Because... she always wears black... and I feel that she would be happier if she wore softer shades of color.”
”You can boss us around about wearing to much black. But I don’t think you should tell her what she can or can’t wear.”

“Well your not necessarily taking care of her right now are you, when you pick her up Sunday she can wear what she wants.”

Joel looked at me, “Sorry I tried.”

“Were going to Abercrombie and Fitch.”
”But…I don’t like it in there... people look at me weird, like I don’t belong.”

“That’s your first step, being in a place were you feel like you don’t belong, and making the best of it.” Said Sarah as they walked into the store.

“Hey… lets go check out Abercrombie.”
”Benji…. you feeling ok?”
”Yea... I mean... there might be some mad hoes in there... remember that time we went into Abercrombie and you saw that hot chick and asked her to help you find something.”
”Yea... and she walked away from me... Dude they all ignore us in there.”

“So... come on.” They all followed Benji into the Abercrombie store.

Heather followed Sarah around the store. Sarah was picking up things off the racks of clothing.

“See... this would look nice.”

“No it wouldn’t... it’s…..pink.”

Sarah held it up in front of Heather. “It would fit you nicely, let’s try some things on.”

“It was nice of you to pick it out and all but I am not trying those on.”

Sarah went over to a employee, “Yes I’d like a key to the changing room.”

Turns out the employee was one of her sorority sisters.

“Sarah how are you doing?” they hugged.

“Great... just doing some shopping.”

“For yourself... You don’t usually buy those things.”
”No... There for my friend.. Benji and Joel dropped her off.”

Heather stepped closer to them.

“Wow... it’s so nice you’re giving makeovers for underprivileged kids now.”

“Well I always like to do charity work.” They laughed, “But seriously though, Heather’s a cool girl, I’ve had fun hanging out with her.”

“Here’s the key, may I make a suggestion… there are other shirts in the back for girls that are flat. Shirts that show less cleavage.”

“Hey for a sorority sister, I’m shocked.. I thought we were taught respect for others.”
”I respect my sisters.”

Heather grabbed the clothes from Sarah and the key and walked off towards the changing rooms.

Sarah followed behind heather. Heather went into the changing room. She didn’t want to wear the clothes.

“Come on now... she didn’t mean that. You have to ignore people like her. They don’t know you or what you’ve been through.”

Heather threw the clothes on the floor. She lifted up her black GC shirt and removed the rest of her clothing. She looked at her body, she hated it. Everything about it. She hated that she still looked like a young girl not near 20 years old.

The scars... Slowly fading.

Sarah sat down on a chair outside the changing room area. She put her head on her hands... sighed in frustration.

She looked up to see heather walking down the little hallway.

“You look nice.” Granted it was only the clothes that changed, but still, “Take out your pony tail.” She did.

“A little bit dirty... but we can fix that.”

She saw Benji, Joel, Billy, Paul and Chris walking around the store.

“What are they doing in here?”
”Shopping for girls, don’t mind them.”

Paul and Chris were talking to one of the girls. Billy was reading a new play station book. And Benji and Joel walked up behind Sarah’s chair, Joel laughed.

Sarah looked up, “What’s so funny?” Sarah hit Joel hard in the arm.

“Hey you hit like a girl.”

“I am a girl.”

“That shirt’s like…damn... it just doesn’t fit you right.” Said Joel.

“Well maybe we can go to Victoria’s secret and get you a bra with padding in it.” Sarah said to Heather.

Heather blushed and looked down at the ground.

So that Benji wasn’t just standing there like the odd one out… he laughed too.

Heather went back to the changing room.

“Ok leave, you’ve had your few laughs.”
”Hey were still shopping for chicks.”
”Out... now.”

“Dude… this sucks.” Joel laughed again as they walked away, “She’s like what…an A cup.”
”I thought you said that you should be happy with the way you are.” Said Benji.

“Shut up.” Said Joel.

They had to practically drag Paul and Chris away, because they were getting to many phone numbers.

“Hey can we go back to hot topic, I wanna get that nightmare before Christmas shirt I saw in there.” Said Billy.

“Heather… don’t listen to them.” Sarah said. Heather was sitting on the floor of the changing room.

Heather opened the door, her eyes wet.

“Yea... what am I supposed to do, how do you think that made me feel?”
”Not bad, cause I know your better then them. Wait….what does it matter what they say to you... they make fun of people all the time, I think its kind of to get back at people what people did to them in high school, I don’t know, all I know is, you should like you the way you are. Some guy is going to appreciate what you have emotionally not so much physically.”

Heather just sat there quietly.

“Let’s go to Victoria’s Secret, pick out a shirt that you want to get... I want to know that the trip in here at least helped you a little bit.”

“Ok… I’ll get this white shirt, with black heart on it.”

“Not surprised but ok, that good enough for me.”

They walked into Victoria’s secret. There was a perfume stand near the front of the store, Heather tried a vanilla scent and put a bit on her hand. It smelled good.

An employee came up to her. ”Hi can I help you.”

“No thanks I’m just looking.”

She went over to Sarah that was walking to the left side of the store. Heather hoped that Benji and Joel and them wouldn’t walk by the store or walk in.

“I remember when I was younger, my mom said I couldn’t come in here... she said that all these clothes were evil, but you’ve been in here before right?”
”Um... Yea. But I never bought anything from here.”

“Here…size b…that’s what you wear right?”
”Um... yea... “

“Buy something with color in it.. I’m guessing you don’t have any with color.”
”Yea... your right.”

“Try it on with the shirt you got.”

She went to the changing room. The lady’s in the store giving her weird looks.

Heather changed into the bra and shirt.

“See that’s nice.” Sarah said as she walked back out.

“I don’t know…it looks weird.”
”That’s just cause your not used to wearing that yet, imagine how much your own self esteem will be higher.”

They bought the bra, and went to the food court.
”Your going to eat, you haven’t eaten since …I don’t know when. Pick out something and ill go get it for you, you find a table.”

“Taco bell... two soft tacos.”

She found Benji, Joel, Billy, Paul and Chris sitting in the food court, eating Chinese food. There low rider bikes leaning up against a table near by.

“What’s up… did you buy what you needed to buy with Sarah?”
”Yea…” she sat down and put the bag underneath her chair.

“Where is Sarah anyway?” asked Benji.

“She’s buying me food… from Taco Bell.”

“Cool, so show us what you got.” Said Paul.
”No.” She blushed.

“We’ve seen bra’s before.”

“Yea I’m sure you have…ones thrown on stage at your concerts.”

Joel smiled.

“So... You don’t smoke cause of your asthma.”
”Right.”

“And you don’t drink.”
”Not anymore.”

“Yea you shouldn’t your asthma medication wouldn’t be good with alcohol….are you a straight edge?”
Heather ignored the question. She didn’t think she should have to answer that.

Sarah came over with the food and sat down next to heather.

“What’s this I hear about straight edge?” asked Sarah, “What’s a straight edge?”

“You’ve never heard that term?” Asked Joel.

“No... Sorry our preppy, cheerleaders don’t use those type of words.”

“Are you a slut?” asked Benji.

“Benji Levi Madden.”

“Your in trouble now dude, only mom called you that when you’re in deep shit.”

“Apologize to Heather.”

Heather blushed.

“Well let the sluts be sluts.” Said Joel.

Sarah kicked Joel from under the table.

“Fuck... my knee. You kick like a girl.”
”I am a girl you dumbass.”

Billy and Paul laughed.

“This is like that movie breakfast club, where they kept asking that girl if she did, and she eventually flipped out and said no she didn’t.” Said Paul.
”Yea.” Said Joel.

“I bet you’ve been with five guys.” Said Benji.

“No…10...” Said Paul.

They started putting money on the table.

“You guys aren’t betting are you?” Asked Sarah.
”Oh great.” Said Heather.

“Benji what do you say... for... 5 bucks.”
”I say….actually I take the five guys thing back... I say no one.”

“Really why dude that’s stupid, your gonna lose.”

“I can tell, the look in her eyes... she’s to innocent. She seems to embarrassed... If she had she would at least give us a amount.”

“Ok... Heather come on.”

“I just want to sit here and eat my food.”

“Good I won.” Said Paul.

They all gave the money to Paul.

“I didn’t say 10...” said Heather.

“Ok... hmm… 5... That’s what Billy said.”

“Yea come on I need the money for a new tattoo.”

“No...”

“This is turning into be like a damn game show you sick fucks.” Said Sarah.

“Not five.”

They all gave the money to Joel, “Ok... three… it has to be three... damn your starting to make me feel bad for you.”

“Not three…”

“Dude ... Seriously... Benji you won then.”

“I never win bets. Sweet... wait she didn’t say none..”

“None.” She said quietly.

“I didn’t hear that?” Said Joel.

“Joel stop it.” Said Sarah.

“I think she said no one.” Said Billy.

Benji was trying to drink his lemonade but his mind drifted off. He started coughing.

Joel patted him on the back.

“You ok there buddy.”

“Yea….. I’m fine.”

“Well... second bet... who can screw?”  Benji smacked Joel on the head, not to hard though.

“Hey! Oww... what’s with everyone abusing me today? I was just joking around.”

“Well you’re not funny.” Said Benji.

“What about you guys?” asked Heather.

“Come on were going.” Said Sarah.

“But...”
”No there just going to keep making fun of you, maybe until you guys grow up, heather should stay with me.”
”No…seriously were sorry... I know we’ve been acting like jerks.”

“Fake apology real nice Joel... were going back to the house... I will call you tonight though and let u know how heathers doing. You can continue your shopping for girls.”

Heather and Sarah left with there stuff.

“Come on lets finish shopping.” Said Paul.

“Can you guys wait a few minutes... eat another bowl of rice or something.” Said Benji.

“What’s up with you?”

Benji looked down put his hand on his lap.

“Oh... yea guys eat heathers extra taco she left us.”

*Back in Ohio*

“Have you called all her friends?” Asked her mom.
”Yes, I went through her phone book. I called all the ones I knew.”

Her dad had come over, they all sat in the kitchen. A police man was also there and the FBI.

“What about the friends she went with to the concert?” Asked the policeman.

“There still holding them at the police station for questioning.”
”Why would she do this... she’d never do something like this.”

“Maybe she found a guy online, they ran off together.”
”No... she wouldn’t do that.”
”How would you know you don’t live here.” Said her mom.

“I would at least like to think heather is more responsible then that.”

“What about the black leather books she writes in?” she raced up to her bedroom, started opening up the drawers underneath her bed. Frantically pushing journals aside, but no black leather books were to be found.

“She must have taken them with her.”

“Her clothes…everything is still here. She only has a short supply of medicine with her. Whatever happened it must not have been planned.”

“Well... We’ll contact people in Pittsburgh, I highly doubt she’s anywhere besides Pittsburgh.” Said the police.

“Please tell us again what happened?” The policeman asked Tracy.

“Well... we were at the concert.” The policeman turned on the voice recorder, “And... she was fine then… a little quiet, not really enjoying it. Then after the concert, when we were waiting around to meet them, she got really angry.”
”Angry... like in what way?”

“Like every time we tried to talk to her, she’d have snappy comebacks. Like she didn’t care about anything.”
”Ok then what happened.”

“Well... we told her we wanted to leave... she actually thought she could be able to meet the band... When she said no, she started arguing with us. She was swearing a lot. Then she threatened us.”

“Threatened you?”

“Yes... so… since we feared for our own safety we left. Gave her money for a cab and just left.”

“Maybe that wasn’t the smartest thing to do.”
”You know what fuck you... I’m sick and tired of people lecturing us, yes I know it wasn’t a great idea. But I’d rather leave her there then have her in the car with us, with the kind of attitude she had.”

“Hey mom were back!”

“Hey boys, did you enjoy your shopping?”
”Yea… heather was there, Joel was giving her a hard time.”

“You get that from your dad.”

There mom was sitting on the couch, looking at a photo album.

“What you looking at?”
”Pictures of you both when you were younger.” They sat next to her. Paul, Billy and Chris sat on a couch across from them.

“Hey... it’s our first day of school at Waldorf High.”

“The football team took my lunch money that day.” Said Joel.

Benji laughed.

“Didn’t they make you trip in the hallway too?”
”No… that was you dude….. You were chubby back then.” Said Benji.
”Whose chubby now.”
”Shut up.” Benji went to hit Joel in the arm. But there mom held Benji’s wrist.

“Benji don’t hit your brother.”

“Aww look at you two... at the baseball game.”

There mom had turned the photo album into a elaborate scrap book. There therapist said that she should start a hobby to get her mind off there father.

“Remember when we took that baseball bat...”
”So…wow... nice picture...”
”Did what with a baseball bat?” asked there mom, “You guys are going to have to let go of some of that anger.”

“Hey... it’s a picture of dad.” Benji reached for the picture and took it out of its little holding place in the book. He studied it carefully.

“Give that back.”
”Why do you keep this anyway?”
”When you’re older you’ll understand.”
”Mom we are older.”

“Benji Levi Madden give me that picture back right now.”

“He’s never going to call us mom. You have to let go.”

“Dude just give it to mom...”

“Fine! Here.” He gave it to her. And just sat there, frustrated.

She put it back in its place.

There was an odd silence in the room.

“I made some cookies.”
”Oatmeal?” Asked Joel.

“Thank you Mrs. Madden.” Said Paul.

“No problem, I knew you guys were coming over.”

The phone rang.

“I’ll get it.” Said Benji as he munched on a cookie, “Hello?”
”Is Mrs. Madden there?”

“Yea who is it?” There mom always told them to ask who it is just incase there dad surprisingly decided to call.

“I’m calling about a bill that needs to be paid.”

“Who is it dude?” Joel asked Benji.

“I don’t know…something about a bill.”

“Is this the IRS?” asked Benji.

“I would have fucking told you that already Benjamin.”

“Here give me the phone.”

Benji gave the phone to Joel.

“Who is this!?”

“You two shits till owe me for what you did to my car.”

“Dad?”

“Real smart.”

“Joel who is it?” asked there mom. Getting an oatmeal cookie from the cookie jar.

“No one.”

“I hope there not selling stuff, I’m not interested.”

There mom went back into the living room.

“I thought court told you, you couldn’t call her anymore.”

No answer.

“You know we record these calls, we can trace your number back and find where you live, and throw your fucking ass in jail.”

“Joel just hang up... he’s not use the time.” Said Benji.

Joel hung up the phone, and just to be sure, unplugged it.

“Why the fuck would he call?”

“Why would who call, and Benji mind the language, I’ll wash your mouth out with soap one of these days.”

“It…was Josh mom.”
”Oh... you should have let me at least say hi.”
”He’s real busy mom.”

“What are we going to do?” Benji asked quietly.

“Well…. We’ll take the recording to the FBI... and see what they’ll do. About time he gets what he deserves.”
”Yea... I don’t think mom can stand going to therapy again. Nor does she have the money.” Said Benji.

“I just wish we could be here more, to look out for her.” Said Joel.

“I know…”

Joel punched the nearby wall out of anger.

“What was that!” there mom asked from the other room.

“Nothing….. One of your picture frames just fell.” Said Benji.

Joel was rubbing his knuckles.

“So... Did you enjoy your shopping?” asked Sarah.

“Yea, it was nice. It would be nicer if they wouldn’t laugh at me.”
”I think I’ll ask them if you could stay with me longer. You don’t need to put up with there bullshit right now.”

They were sitting in the living room watching TV.

“Well tomorrow were going to take you back near the mall for a makeover.”
”No...not a makeover.”

“Come on Heather, not to insult you but you need a makeover. It will help you emotionally, with your self esteem... we can fix your hair.”
”My hair, what about my hair?”

I felt like she was picking out my flaws, and it wasn’t making me feel any better.

“Well… you’ve had that style for a long time I’m sure, it would be good for a change if you had it shorter. And we can put some actual make up on you, not just black around your eyes and some lip gloss.”

“Ok I guess, whatever you want to do.”

“And you still haven’t talked to me about guys in your life… Heather as difficult as it is, you’ve held those emotions and anger inside. You would feel better if you shared it.”

Heather was quiet.

“You must really hate guys in general then…what with your brother, your dad, your step dad… and if you’ve been heart broken.”

“Yea…. Well what does it matter?”

“It matters a lot, your ideas and views will forever change shape how you want your life to be like.. I remember when I went to homecoming one year in high school, I wanted the guy to meet my family, and Benji, Joel and josh stood at the doorway like guards, stopped him and asked him like 20 questions before he could enter the house.”

“I went to homecoming once.”

“How was it?”
”I didn’t dance with anyone.”

“You think you’re ready to tell me the rest of it?”
Sarah reached over to the coffee table and picked up her journal and her pencil.

“Well how long do we have?”
”All after noon. Just don’t talk to fast so I can take notes.”

“Where should I start?”
”Tell me about the first guy you knew...”

3 minutes later, 2 written pages later. Sarah stopped to take a break.

“He actually embarrassed you like that in the cafeteria?”
”Yep...”
”And…that other guy, told everyone the secret you told him, what a jerk.”

Heather nodded.

“And damn... 9th grade. That’s a lot of feeling to have for someone at such a young age.”
”I was young and stupid.”
”And he just kept calling and harassing you, even though you guys did all that stuff together?”
”Yep… took awhile to get over it... but I’m glad I did.”

Sarah looked over her writing.

“Well you’ve mentioned 7 guys so far. How were your views on guys at this point?”
”I was beginning to give up hope. My friends all had boyfriends at that point... and  I just kind of felt left out.”
5 minutes later.

Sarah felt her own heart breaking, she felt so bad. She couldn’t believe a teenager so nice as her, would have to endure all of the pain.

“So... he was younger?”
”Yea... he wanted to fuck me cause I was a college student and he could tell all his friends, I found out he was going to break up with me after that.”

“Who are all of these bastards, ill go back to Ohio and find them.”
”No... Sarah its ok... it doesn’t bother me anymore.”

“Yes it does… man it would bother me.”

She explained all the guys she knew during the two years of college, and that was more guys then 9th through 12th combined.

“He just said he was to busy for a relationship... and... what... why would a guy date you when he had a girlfriend.”
”Well she was out of town... but he still loved her.”

At the end of the conversation she had 10 pages written, with guys names and a story about each one.

“Heather... I… I don’t know what to say... just that if I was you I would have slit my wrists and put myself out of my misery.”
”I know...”
”No... I mean... I didn’t mean it that way… I just don’t think id be able to deal with it like you did.”

“I’m going to get some sleep.”

“Ok… yea, I am too, we’ve had a long day. But I think it will help now that you’ve told me more how you felt. Ill look over my notes and we’ll talk more tomorrow after your makeover.”

Heather went to her room. Sarah finished up watching her favorite show then went to sleep.

Heather sat on her bed, and wrote in her journal again.

Talking about my problems aren’t helping me, its making me think of all of them… and how much they bother me. The girl in the store made fun of me, then they laughed at me during lunch.  This is supposed to help me? I just want to escape. I’ve wanted to escape to here…Maryland... but now that I’m here I want to leave. But I don’t want to go back home. I don’t have GC stuff with me... so I don’t have that to help me forget my problems. Where can I go?

Heather went to the bathroom, she opened the cupboard.

The top row was lined with white bottles and orange clear bottles. There were a few boxes. Sudafed, no dose, Robetesen pills. Vitamin supplements. Then a row of aspirin, Children’s Tylenol, Advil, Aleve.

Sarah woke up because she could hear some rattling going on down the hall.

Sarah went to the bathroom door.

“Heather?”
”Um... I’m getting some Advil I have a headache.”
”Take the children’s Tylenol... they work better. I don’t want you to take real aspirin.”

Heather rolled her eyes. And grabbed the bottle of no dose and shoved it into her pocket.

She grabbed two children’s Tylenol as a decoy. She held them in her hand and opened the door, sure enough Sarah was there, watching her. She followed heather into the kitchen where she found some apple juice and took the two children’s Tylenol.

“Good night heather, hope you feel better.”

“Ok thanks.”

Sarah went back to her room, put the cloth that said princess over her eyes and went to sleep.

Heather opened the refrigerator again, she only found the apple juice, milk, and pop, nothing with alcohol. She opened a nearby closet, at the bottom, near a box of cereal was two six packs of beer.

She tip toed back to her room. And closed the door quietly.

She put the 6 pack on her bed, and sat on her bed. She took out the bottle of no dose. Read the label.

Do not take more then 2 every 6 hours.

She opened the bottles using the edge of the blanket so she wouldn’t hurt her fingers.

She felt an odd feeling of dazha vue. Since she hadn’t drunk in over a year she knew that this wouldn’t be easy. So she pinched her nose gently shut and brought the bottle to her lips. Thinking if she didn’t smell it would help drinking it. It burned slightly as it poured down her throat.  She stopped for a moment hoping her stomach wouldn’t reject it to quickly. She took the first pill rather then take a whole handful at once and risk choking.

Her hands started to tremble. Making sure to swallow completely and wait before taking the next one. She downed the whole bottle within a few minutes. She felt light headed. She quickly put the bottle in the bottom drawer near her bed, hidden underneath a few magazines. Just to be sure of herself she drank more. Leaving the empty bottles on the floor.

She drank 4 bottles, she felt her stomach feel like fire… she put the bottles in the closet, in the back behind a pile of clothes, along with the ones not drunk.

As she walked back to her bed, she felt the floor beneath her start to spin. She sat down on the bed quickly. She leaned back and rested her head on the pillow and closed her eyes for a minute, hoping the spinning would stop. Her heart started beating very fast. She felt sick, she went to the door, but she realized if she threw up in the bathroom Sarah would hear it… she grabbed a trash can and sat in the corner of the room. Her clothes slightly wet with sweat. Her feet and hands felt ice cold. She tried not to throw up... but she did..  for a half hour... every few minutes.  She started to get scared.  She stood up but leaned her hand against the wall to balance herself, she knew she had to tell Sarah. She went out into the hall and knocked on her door.

Sarah removed the cloth from her eyes and checked the clock, midnight.

“Hey what’s up girl, headache still bothering you?”

“No... I feel sick... I’ve been throwing up?”
Sarah felt her forehead.

“Your warm, here lets go to your room, you want me to make you some hot tea.”
Sarah followed heather to the bedroom.

“Here I’ll turn on the ceiling fan. Ill make you mint tea, that always settles my stomach.”

“My heart…it’s like racing. You’re standing still right?”

“Yea... why?” Sarah started to get worried.

“Cause... things are moving.”

“Ok…ok... I’m gonna call Joel… shit… hold on.”
She ran to her phone.

Benji and Joel in a peaceful sleep.  Phone rang. They picked it up quickly so it wouldn’t wake up there mom. Joel rubbed his eyes. He stared at his clock at the side of the bed on the nightstand, neon numbers shined in his half closed eyes.

“Hello?”

“Joel... you have to come over quick, please heather, she’s very sick she’s throwing up.”

Joel could sense panic in her voice.

“Sarah what happened.” Joel asked as he got off the bed and turned on the light. Benji rolled over and buried his face against the pillow.

“Benji get up.”

“Well... I had left her... she said her head hurt... and... maybe the tacos didn’t agree with her.”

“Does she have a fever?”
”She’s sweating…I don’t know... I didn’t check.”

“We’ll be there as soon as we can.”

Joel put on his shoes, since he had slept in his clothes.

“Benji get up... Heather’s sick.”

Benji rolled over again and sat up and yawned a bit.

Joel grabbed him a made shirt.

“Yea... she’s throwing up...  she thinks maybe her lunch is to blame…let’s leave a note for mom.”

Joel got his keys. And put on his made jacket. They went to the kitchen and wrote a note.

We went to Sarah’s, Heather is not feeling well, and we’ll be back later. Love you, from your Madden twins.

“Alright let’s go.” Said Joel quietly, they went out to the living room, told the guys they were leaving to Sarah’s to check on heather. They barely heard them, they were in deep sleep. They got in Benji’s black used ford explorer.

The first few minutes in the car were silent.

Then Joel decided he had to at least say something.

“I hope she’s ok... if she did this to herself.”
”I don’t know… she better be ok.” Said Benji.

“She’s probably mad at us, after how we treated her yesterday.” Said Joel. Joel touched his cross necklace and held it.

Benji gripped the steering wheel a little tighter and drove faster, down the dark streets.

And that was all they spoke to each other.

They arrived at Sarah’s. Sarah was pacing around on the front porch.

She ran over to there car as they got out.
 “I went back to her room... after I got off the phone and she was just laying there on the bed. Not moving... oh my god I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, it’s not your fault.” Joel said as they walked into her house.

“Yes it is, you left her in my care, and it was my job to take care of her.” Sarah started crying.

They went to heather’s room. Sarah stayed in the living room, on the couch.

Joel picked up her wrist, no pulse. Her body pale as a ghost and cold. He picked her up along with the blanket. Her body limp like a rag doll.

Benji observed the room, no pills or alcohol like he had expected. Nothing suspicious.

“Benji!”

“Yea... I’m comin... hold on.”

He went out to the living room, “Here…take her... carry her to the car.”

Benji put his arms underneath her and held her.

“You got her?”
”Yea.”

Joel helped open the door for Benji, he carried her outside to the car.

“Sarah you have to come with us… we have to figure out what to tell the doctors when they realize her parents aren’t around.”

“You’re mad at me aren’t you?”
”No…Sarah we need to talk about this later, Heather needs to get to the hospital.” Joel handed her, her jacket that was on the table by the door.

Sarah got up and wiped her eyes, and grabbed Heather’s purse.

They went out to the car. Benji was putting her gently in the back seat.

Joel got into the passengers seat Sarah got in the back seat. And Benji started up the car.

“Why would she do this?” asked Joel.

“She didn’t do this... she’s sick, gotta think positively.” Said Benji.

Sarah was just really quiet.

Benji could hear the song “Numb.” From Linkin Park playing softly on the radio.

Joel started to count the stars.

They pulled up to the front of Washington DC medical building’s emergency room.

“Best hospital in the area.” Joel whispered.

Benji opened the side door, got her out. Carrying her in his arms the emergency doors slid open.

Joel and Sarah followed close behind, an assistant at the hospital parked there car for them.

A nurse saw them, “we need a stretcher, emergency entrance ASAP.”

A stretcher appeared, Benji laid her down. But not before hugging her gently, “Hold on.” He whispered, even though he knew she couldn’t hear him.

“How old is she?” Asked the nurse.

“19... we don’t know what happened to her, she was throwing up.”
 “Are you the father?”
”No... Were just taking care of her.”
”Ok, we’ll need to inform the parents. Did she take anything?”
”I don’t know...  she said her heart was racing…” said Sarah.

“Do you have any ID for her?”

“Yes.”

“Ok you’ll have to fill out papers, with as much information as you know.” They were checking her vital signs.

“She has asthma.”

“What does she take?”

“Um…. Inhalers, but I don’t know the names.”

“Ok... you all are going to have to wait out here.” Said the nurse as they wheeled her into the emergency room.

The nurse pulled a little shade down over the windows. Joel leaned his head against the door.

“I’m going to go call Tony.”

“I might as well go get us some food, its going to be a long night.” Said Sarah.

Joel got out his cell phone. And called there mom’s house.

Paul picked up the phone quickly.

“Dude, it’s Joel. Heather’s here at the hospital.”
”What happened?”
”We don’t know yet, you should have seen her, she was so pale. When mom wakes up tell her that were here, that Heather’s ok, I don’t want her to worry, and that we’ll be home whenever they let Heather go home.”

“Benji’s there with you right?”

“Yea he’s calling Tony, I think he’s more worried about Heather then I am.”
”I don’t think it helped that we made fun of her yesterday.”
”No... Paul… don’t blame any of this on you guys… she’s just worse then I thought she was... I thought her spending time with Sarah would help. Man we got to do something.”
”Maybe they should keep her there for a few days, just to make sure she’s ok mentally.”
”I can’t do that, I told her that I wouldn’t take her to the hospital for mental reasons.”

“Joel it’s not your decisions, it’s the doctors.”
”It’s so weird…I mean Sarah just took her shopping yesterday, she was supposed to get spa treatment today.”
”You don’t think Sarah told her anything that would make her do something?”
”I don’t know... I’ll talk to her about it defiantly, id better let you go. Sarah went to get food. We’ll call you if anything changes.”

“Tony hey.”
”Fuck…..Benji its 1:00 in the morning... what’s up.”

“I’m in the hospital.”
”Is your mom ok?”
”Yea... it’s Heather, she’s sick, very sick. I don’t know what happened to her.”

“You want me to come over, you’re at the DC hospital right?”
”No... it’s alright.. I hate it here... it reminds me of mom here when she was sick.”

“Shit... I have to go, nick just broke something real expensive, and I have to go kick his ass... I’ll call you later dude.”

Benji put away his cell phone and just sat there in the hallway.

Sarah had returned to the main lobby with food. Bagels and doughnuts for her, Benji and Joel.

Benji joined Joel and Sarah in the main lobby.

“You hungry?” asked Sarah.

“I can’t eat now.” Said Joel.

“Me neither.”
”Your gonna have to eat sometime... So I’ll just leave the bagels and doughnuts here.”

“So what did you tell her Sarah?”
”What do you mean?”
”What did you talk to her about before she got sick?”
”Um.. I asked her about her past.”
”Past in general or, something more specific.”

“Guys.”
”And did she volunteer to talk about it….or as usual did you drag it out of her.” Said Benji.

“Look I was only trying to help, I thought by getting out her feelings, it would help her free some of that anger.”

“You should have waited until she was ready to talk about it.” Said Benji.

“You told me to help her, so I did.”

“Please don’t argue now.” Said Joel.

A nurse walked over to them, with a clipboard.

“Are you the guardians?”
”Yea…you could say that.”

“Where are her parents?”
”There out of town.” Said Benji.

“They’ve passed away.” Said Joel at the same time.

“No... What there trying to say is they went out of town to go to a funeral.”

“Yea... sorry were all a little out of it, stressed.”

The nurse looked at them suspiciously.

“Here are the papers, fill them out and give them back to the receptionist when you’re done along with her ID card.”

The nurse gave them the papers and walked away.

“Hey... If we give her the ID and they call her parents... there out looking for her I’m sure. They’ll come and take her back.” Said Benji.

“That’s good then.” Said Joel.

“Hmm…name… Heather… age... 20... occupation.. Hmm... college student.” She got out Heathers ID card to fill out the info about her address, “Don’t know parents names, don’t know much about medication or allergies.” Sarah flipped through the other pages, “Damn I don’t know much on here.”

“Well just fill out what you can, and real funny Sarah... out of town to go to a funeral.”
”What was I supposed to say?”

“For other put she’s also a Good Charlotte fan.” Said Joel.

“Shut up dude.” Said Benji.

“Alright. I guess we take it up there, with her ID.” Said Joel.

“There going to call her parents, we could get in deep shit.” Benji whispered softly.

“He has a point. What should we do?” said Joel.

“Well…. I could say I forgot it.” Said Sarah.
”There already suspicious enough about us.” said Benji.

“Just give it to them. It’s the right thing to do, drop it off and leave.” Said Joel.

Benji walked up to the front counter.

“Hi, here we finished filling out what we could, here’s her ID, were gonna go...”

“You’re going to have to stay, her parents will probably want to talk to you about what happened, if she doesn’t wake up.”

At heathers home, her mother was checking files on the computer, skimming over word documents. Nothing there except a few good charlotte pictures.

“She must have deleted things before she left.”

The phone rang.

“Hello.” The cop put the phone on the speaker phone.

“Yes, this is Maryland medical center in DC.”

“Do you know something about our daughter?”
”These guys said you’d be out of town…anyway... Yes she’s here. Two guys and a girl dropped her off.”
”Oh my god is she ok, why is she there, how did she get there.”

“I don’t know Mrs., all I know is that she’s here under our care. It’s the best hospital around, they said she was throwing up.”

“Why the hell is my daughter in Maryland, she’s to young to be alone without her parents for this long.” Said her father.

“Who dropped her off at the hospital, who was taking care of her.”

“Her guardians, I didn’t get there names.” The receptionist asked them there names.

Joel whispered to Benji, “Don’t say your real name.”
”Ruben.” Said Joel.

“Levi.” Said Benji.

“Madaline.” Said Sarah.

“Ruben, Levi and madaline, dropped her off.”
”We don’t know those people, heather doesn’t have any guardians.”

“Tell me what’s going on right now.” Said her father.

“Our daughter has been missing for 2 days.” Said her mother.

The receptionist used the other phone line to call the main office.

“Yea were gonna have to make some arrests in the main lobby.”

“We have them here...” The receptionist looked up from her desk. They were gone.

“Security, we need security up here ASAP, they just left… we’ll find them don’t worry.”

“If you don’t find them…. It’s alright, just make sure our daughter is ok, were on our way to get her.”

The receptionist hung up the phone to talk to the security and police that arrived.

 “Yes, two guys, dressed in black, black short sleeved shirt... one was in a black jacket, one was about 5’7… one wearing shorts... and the other was a girl... long brown hair.”

“I’ve been trying to tell you we need surveillance cameras in this place, what were there names?”
”Levi, Ruben and Madaline.”

“So…what should we do?” asked Joel. They all sat in Benji’s ford explorer.

“We go home and forget this whole thing happened.” Said Sarah.

“You just want her to leave so you don’t have to deal with her anymore, what do you say Joel?” asked Benji.

“I say…go back in there and get her, hey isn’t Tony’s mom into the medical field.”
”Yea... I’m sure she has some stuff at her house we can use.” Said Benji.

“How do you suppose we do that, you know there looking for us.” Asked Sarah.
”They don’t know our names. Besides Benji was wearing his hoodie up, they can’t have like a real good description of him.” Said Joel.

“Let’s go in the back door, find a prop room. Change into the clothes, and find Heather.” Said Benji.
”You can use your cell phone to call the front desk and ask where Heather’s room is.” Said Joel.

“I don’t know about this and wait what…. Change into what clothes?”

“Doctors and a nurse, they won’t suspect anything, just walk quickly and not talk to anyone. Come on, all those times we helped you, just do this one thing and we won’t bother you anymore.”

“Fine...” They got out of the car,“I’m a sorority girl, I’m a good girl I’m not supposed to be sneaking into a hospital and taking patients.” Said Sarah.

“Let’s go in through a side door.”

They found the side door, “dude I feel like this is mission impossible.”
”You’re not funny.” Said Sarah.

“Hey only Benji can say that to me…relax Sarah.”

They found a prop room a few doors down.

“You guys go in first ill wait out here... pretending I’m waiting for someone.”

The door was open already, just closed a bit.

“The coast clear?”
”Yea your fine.”

Sarah sat out in the hall, watching the hallway.

They came back out, “That doesn’t even look like you guys, and you took out all of your piercings, good. And wiped off your makeup.”

“Yea we found a nurses outfit in there. You better hope no old guy sees you asking for a sponge bath.”
”Very funny Joel... look out for me... make sure no ones watching you guys.”

Sarah changed into the outfit, put on some makeup.

“Ok…let’s go.”

“Call the front desk dude, so we know where were going.” Said Benji. They got in the elevator, no one was on it.

“Hey... yea were looking for heathers room number.”
”What’s her last name sir?”
Joel covered the phone, “What’s her last name?”
Sarah gave him the last name.

“Room 658, 4th floor. She’s out of the emergency room, she’s in recovery now.”

“Thank you.”

Benji pushed the 4th floor button.

“Where’s the maternity floor... we have to avoid that area.”

They arrived on the 4th floor, “which way is room 658?”
”Read the signs dude.”

They went to the left, down the hall.

“Here’s 658.”

They saw her lying there, no flowers or anything near her.

She was still in her regular clothes, there was a IV in her arm.

“I wonder if she’s awake...” asked Benji.

Joel touched her arm.  Her eyes opened a little.

“Where am I?”
”Your in the hospital… do you remember who we are?”
”……yea... you... look different.”

“Were going to get you out of here, they called your parents there coming to pick you up and take you back home.”
Heather started to sit up.

“No need to rush... you’ve just had surgery, so were gonna take things slow. If you didn’t wake up were going to get you a wheel chair.”

“You think you can walk?” asked Sarah.

“Yea... I’m just really really tired, my throat hurts. And I feel dizzy, my head hurts…and this fucking IV.”
”Good she’s back to her normal self.” Said Sarah with a little laugh.

“I’m sorry to all of you.”

“No were sorry, we shouldn’t have made fun of you.” Said Joel.
”And I shouldn’t have made you bring up your past if you didn’t want to.” Said Sarah.

“How did you…”

“Well explain everything later... let’s get that IV out of you first.”

“What about the Spa treatment.”
”Don’t worry about that, we’ll schedule it another day.”

Joel touched her arm and gently pulled the needle out.

“Here we got you a nurse’s outfit to wear.” Said Benji.

“You need help standing up.”

“No... I think I’m ok.”

Heather got up slowly, and made her way to the bathroom, that connected to the recovery room.

As soon as heather finished changing Sarah did her makeup so she wouldn’t look so pale. And put her hair in pigtails.

“You look good with makeup on.” Said Benji.

They walked fast down the hallway, and into the elevator, they went down to the first floor. Then out the side door. No one had looked at them suspiciously; they all assumed they were doctors and nurses working the early morning shift.

“Joel can you carry me to the car.”

“Sure... no problem.” He picked her up and carried her to the ford explorer. And put her in the back seat.

“Heather, were sending you to Tony’s for a few days.”

“But why, I wanna go to your house.”

“His mom is a doctor, they have things there at there house that can help make you better, besides if you stay at our house our moms there, and she’d be a nervous wreck.”

Heather rested in the back seat as they drove to Tony’s.

Benji got out his silver cell phone.

“Hey Tony.”

“Hey Benj... Hold on…Fuck …nick put that beer bottle away... you had enough to drink.”

“We need to drop Heather off at your house for a few days.”
”Dude we had a party last night... and our house is kind of trashed.”
”Is there anyone else there?”
”No... Just me and the guys.”

“Alright un-trash it, were on our way.”
”Wait I thought heather was in the hospital.”
”She was, they called her parents there on there way to pick her up, to take her home, so we got her out of there.”
”You know if they find you.”
”Yea I know… I just want heather to be ok…and since your mom is a doctor... she could help her.”
”My moms at the hospital, she had to work today.”

“Shit... ok we’ll you have anything at your house we could use?”
”Yea… all I have is a little heart and oxygen monitor that goes on your finger.”

“Ok... we’ll be there soon.”

Benji put his cell phone away.

“Here let me check your pulse on the way there.” Joel held my wrist, “I don’t hear anything...”

“Here... let me try.”

“I’d check but I’m driving.” Said Benji.

“See I feel the pulse... fast... but its ok.” Said Sarah.

“Were almost at Tony’s house then you can rest... but your going to drink, cause your very dehydrated from throwin up so much.”

“I thought Tony always has parties.”
”Not while your there he wont.”

They pulled into Tony’s driveway.

“You and Sarah wait in here, we’ll go check it out, make it suicide-proof.”

Benji and Joel went into house.

“Wow this was a fast clean up dude.” Said Joel.

“Yea... dude Jeremiah put that beer away.”

“Yea no drinking you guys... can you put a lock on the fridge?”
”Sure… I guess… what you don’t want us to drink beer either?”
”No you can….Heather can’t... you have a box somewhere I want to get ride of all the sharp knifes, nail files, wire, or painkillers.”

“Already got that together on the table, nick was putting it in a box.”
”Yea we’ll just take it with us.” Said Joel.
”Ok, so no parties.”
”No parties, I promise.” Said Tony.

“No getting drunk.”
”No getting drunk.” Said Tony.

There was a knock at the door.

“Hold on…” Tony went to the door.

There was a guy with a keg on the front porch.

“Dude the party was canceled, didn’t you get my call?” asked Tony.
”No... Fuck... I got this new keg of beer, sure you don’t want it?”
”Were staying.” Said benji and Joel.

“No... no it’s ok… no parties seriously trust me.”
”Ok... hold on... Benji and I have to talk about this...” said Joel.

Joel and Benji talked privately.

“Alright... see I can stay here.” Said Joel.

“Yea I would…but... you know Sarah I don’t think she’d let me stay here with Heather. Think she’s already getting the hint... Well... if its not obvious already.”
”What?”
”Nothing... never mind... yea... I’ll just tell mom that you’ll be home in a few days.”

“Ok cool, yea Tony I’m staying.” Said Joel.

“No ones gonna like arrest me for hiding a teenager in this house?” asked Tony.
”No…you should be ok.”

“this is a great thing your doing for her.”
”Yea... we want to make sure she’s like mentally stable and ok before she goes home. So she doesn’t feel like she has to escape anymore. I mean in Ohio... she has no one. She would have eventually run away anyway.”
”And who would believe…good charlotte is hiding a runway…even if someone did see you at the hospital... they wouldn’t believe it’s you and Joel.”

“Yea and we used fake names.”

“You’d better go dude, so mom and the guys don’t worry too much.” Said joel.

“Ok… somebody’s gotta go get Heather.”

Joel went out to the ford explorer and got Heather.

“You want me to carry you?”

“Yea…”

“Sarah, I’m staying with heather here, I don’t trust Tony. He says he won’t have parties... but you know him. We’ll leave and he’ll have the whole fucking neighbor hood in here.”

“Ok... is Benji still in there?”
”Yea he’s talking to Tony.”
”Tell him to hurry up.”

Benji said good bye to the rest of Mest and Tony. Joel said bye to Benji. Benji said bye to Heather.

He put heather down in the living room, she went to the bathroom and changed back into her regular clothes, gc shirt and black pants. Then she went and laid on the couch.

“This is Heather.”
”Heather... you look like you have a hangover.” Said nick.

“She was in the hospital... she had surgery dude.” Said Joel.

“Hi, I’ve heard so much about you.” Said Tony.“What surgery did you have?”

“I don’t think she wants to talk about it.” Said Joel.

“I’ll get you that heart and breathing monitor.”
”Get her some orange juice and tea too, and a cold cloth for her head. And extra blankets. And Kleenex.”

Tony came back to the living room and put the monitor on her finger. “87.. good breathing… heart seems ok too. Just leave that on for the night.” He put a tray on the table near her, with a cup of orange juice and tea. Joel put extra blankets on her and slippers on her feet, cause of bad oxygen circulation not supplying enough blood to her hands and feet.

“You comfortable, were gonna go play poker.”
”What am I gonna do?”

”You can watch TV.” The coffee table in front of her had a button, the tv raised up out of the coffee table.

“Sweet, thank you.”
”Your welcome.”

After a few minutes of TV Heather drifted off to sleep.

“Hey dude I think she’s sleeping... so lets keep our noise level down.”

“You want to make this strip poker then?”
”Hell no... not while she’s in the room.”

“You’re acting strange dude.” Said Nick.

“Why?”
”You’re acting like… I don’t know... like you own her or something, like she’s your daughter or younger sister.”
”I’m just lookin out for her.”

“So what about Benji is he just looking out for her too?” asked Nick.

“Yea how come Benji’s not here and you are?” Asked Matt.

“It’s nothing... let’s just play poker ok.” Said Joel.

“Hey dude look what I found.” Jeremiah brought heather’s purse over to the table.

“That’s heathers put that back.”

“She’s asleep, she wont know.” Said Nick.

Matt opened her purse, “What’s this… a black leather journal.”
”Sarah mentioned something about that...” Joel took it …started to open it, “no…I shouldn’t... its private.”
”Come on, we want to know. Maybe she writes about sex in there.” Said Tony.
”Um….” Joel flipped through it, “Not exactly… omg….this is horrible.”
”What….read it to us.”

‘I’m alone tonight. The fact that I want to die... so many things are going wrong. I can’t wait to die. Why is he mad? I want to escape. I’m drowning in life and I can’t swim. I could try to cheer up, but what’s the point. I wish my parents knew. I cant wait to be gone .To leave this horrible place.’ Here’s another one. ‘Something’s holding me back from cutting. I wish I could just talk to Benji.’

They all went “Awww.”

‘Ok... When I get home I’m taking pills... no debating about it. No I’m afraid to get sick…I’m taking them. Think of all the pills I collected in my drawer, death right there. I got like 10 or 20 bottles of pills. Alcohol downstairs. I’m sure they have vodka. Please save me GC.’ See…she wants us to help her.”
”Yea... but…. if you’re trying to help her, why did she over dose.”
”Cause we were making fun of her at the mall, that brought back old feelings of anger...then when she told Sarah about her life... that brought back all those other feelings of hurt, sadness, and more anger.”

“I found candy.” Said Tony.

“Looks like mints.”

Joel grabbed it, “It’s the pill ya dumbass.”
”Sherlock Joel.”

“Shut up.”

Heather over heard them talking, she opened her eyes a bit, then sat up when she saw them looking at her stuff.

“What you doing?”

“Shit... busted dude.” Said Nick.

“Heather it was there idea…” said Joel. “I did see your journal though... you should have told me, or Sarah or Benji about this. We could have helped you more if we knew what you wrote.”

“You’re mad at me aren’t you? That I should have showed you the journal... I just... I didn’t want you to think I was crazy.”
Joel went and sat next to Heather, “Look I know you don’t trust me, or the other two people in your life that are trying to help you, meaning Sarah and Benji... but you have to trust us. We aren’t taking you to a hospital. Unless you do something drastic to yourself like last night. Other then that no.. no matter what you write or what you say, were not turning you in.”

“Ok...” Heather started flipping through channels. Nothing was on.“Ewww... it’s a girl kissing a girl.”

Joel turned around, “Tony when did you get this channel.”
”I’ve always had it.”

“That means... hmm... you must have the other kind of channel.” Said Heather.
”I do.”
”Ok give me the remote.” Said Joel.
”No.”
Joel grabbed it from me. And turned off the TV.

“No more TV... you should sleep.”
”You’re starting to act like my dad.”

Heather rolled over and tried to get comfortable.

“And I know you like Benji.”
”No I don’t.”

“Yes you do... it says here, ‘I know my dad doesn’t understand my feelings for Benji, the deep dark feelings. The sex.’ Heather went over and grabbed the book out of Tony’s hands. “Dude I told you she wrote about sex in there.”

She looked at Joel, with a angered glare in her eyes, “hey…I told you can trust me, you can’t trust them.”

“I hate...”
”You hate me... come on... say it... tell me what you feel!”

Heather went raced down the hall to a bedroom. By the time Joel got to the door Heather had slammed the door and locked it.

Joel got frustrated and went back to play poker.

“I am worried about her though… you guys shouldnt have read that.”
”You are so whipped.”

“I am not.”

“Well if she’s going to be in there for awhile, give her, her orange juice and tea.” Said Tony.

Joel went and picked up her tray of drinks. Joel knocked on the door. No answer.

“Shit…Tony you have a key for this door?”

“Yea there’s a little skeleton key above the door... on the top ledge.” Joel put down the tray on the floor and reached up and got the little key. He undid the lock and opened the door.

He felt a breeze of cold air, the curtain gently blowing in the wind, at each sides of the window. The window was all the way opened.

“Tony… Fuck she’s gone… I’m gonna go find her!”

“Ok dude.” He won the game and gathered up his poker chips.

“Aren’t you gonna come with me, it’s partially your fault.” Asked Joel.

“Alright… you guys stay here, incase she comes back.” Said Tony. Tony put on his Mest hoodie. And they ventured outside to find heather, “I want to find her as much as you do.”

They went to the back yard, since that was near where the open window was. Walked past the pool.

“Hey you cleaned the pool out.”
”Yea… she had to have climbed the fence…there is a park down the street that she could have gone to.” Said Tony.

“Let’s go there then.” They walked back out to the front of the house.

“So... your going to tell Benji right?”
”No… that was heather’s personal thoughts. If it was a life or death situation then yes.. I would tell him.”

“You know what would be weird…. If like… now that we know heather has feelings for Benji... if Benji had the same feelings back.” Tony laughed.

“Yea… we all know Benji’s yours.”
”And Christina’s.”

Joel laughed, then stopped, “there she is.. on the swing set.”

“Hey what’s up.” Joel said, as he walked towards her.

“Go away.” Joel put his hands on the metal chain, to stop her from swinging a little bit.

“Would you just listen to me?”

“No...” Joel put his hands on her shoulders.

“Don’t touch me.”

“You wouldn’t mind if it was Benji.” Said Tony.
Heather held up her middle finger to Tony.

“Thanks... real nice.”

“Tony would you shut up for just two seconds, you’re not helping here.”
Tears filled her eyes, “You’re going to tell Benji.”
”No I won’t. I know you don’t trust me. I gathered from what I read in your journal you don’t trust anyone. But its ok, we can work on that.”

“You will tell him, he’s your brother, you guys tell each other everything.” She wiped a tear from her eye, “I want you to go home and leave me here.”
Joel moved in a little closer to her, “I can’t just leave you here.”

They were quiet for a minute. “Well…what are going to do?”

His eyes looked into hers. She noticed that the color of his eyes were a little bit bigger then Benji’s.  And that his eyes were a softer shade of dark brown.

Heather looked down for a minute then when she looked back up Joel’s soft lips pressed against hers.

Tony didn’t know what to say, so he just didn’t say anything.

He tilted his head slightly to the right a bit, but continued to kiss her. Heather was gripping the metal chain on the swing. Joel stopped and stepped back.

“What was that for?” said Heather.  Joel fixed the black baseball cap on his head.

“I wanted to kiss you, and then just seemed like the perfect moment.”

Heather thought, ‘but if he knows I like Benji...then why did he just kiss me.’

“Ok... I guess we’ll be going now.”
Heather just sat there, in shock.

“Wait up… I’m right behind you.”

She followed them back home.

“How could she just disappear!?” asked her mother.

“She was here, on the 4th floor, we don’t know miss.”

“Look we’ve just been on a 2 hour plane ride here. Were stressed, tired, worried, and we just want to find our daughter.”

“Well find her, we have someone here that was sitting near by in the lobby, when they dropped her off, and who did you see?”

The girl, who looked to be in her early teens, went up to the front desk.

“I saw good charlotte.”
”Here…in this hospital?” asked the receptionist.

“Yes... I saw them, why won’t anyone believe me.”

“Good Charlotte would not drop off a teenager, or say that there taking care of her. It was someone else you saw.”

“But…they were wearing all black…and wearing made.”
”Easily could have been a fan.”
”She did go to see Good Charlotte in Pittsburgh, the night she left.” Said her mother.

“She must have just found some friends in Pittsburgh and brought her to Maryland.” Said her dad.

“Well... she should be in this area, she couldn’t have gone far… unless she left the state… you could stay at a nearby hotel, if she does have emotional problems…she could come back to the hospital again….. Where ever she is let’s hope those people are taking care of her.”
”Why was she here?”
”She had surgery, they had to pump her stomach cause of all the pills she took.” Said the nurse.
”What! She has asthma... she takes a asthma pill... but my daughter would not overdose.” Said her mother.

“It was confirmed by the lab that she had taken a whole bottle of no dose.” Said the nurse.

“She never had any sleeping problems, why would she take so much.” Said her mother.

“Ok... we’ll stay at the hotel... were not leaving Maryland until you find her.”

“Hey heathers back!” Said Nick.

“Yep we found her. Anything you guys want to say to her.”
”Yea…were sorry.” Said Matt.

They all went over to her and gave her a big group hug.

“We talked about helping you with your cutting, while you were gone. And I think we found a safe alternative.”

They all sat at the table.

“Here show us your wrists, your arms  ... where ever you’ve cut.”

Heather raised both of her sleeves. Past her elbows. And took off her wrist bands. Rested her arms, palm side up on the table. Near her wrist bone she had little 2 inch, vertical lines. 6 of them.  Then on her other arm... between her wrist bone and elbow she had three longer cuts. Slanted. Tiny faded white lines and spots on her one wrist were the scars of the past.

Nick got a rubber band. He put one on her wrist. Held it back a little bit and let it snap against her wrist.

“That felt good.”
”Ok….that won’t work…..  Your not supposed to like it, anyone else got any ideas?”
Tony took her wrist bands off the table.

“Ok... no more wrist bands, and from now on you wear short sleeved shirts.”

“I have scratch marks on my leg too.”
”I’d have you wear shorts but its to cold for that, lets work on your arms first.. make sure you tell this to Sarah and Benji, she only wears short sleeved shirts.”
”What’s your reasoning behind this?” Asked Joel.

“Well... she has nothing to hide the cuts and scars with. Can’t cover it up. So if there exposed like that, and people notice them... then she might start regretting it.”

“Good idea.”

There was a knock at the door.

“How’s Heather?”

“Sarah I’ve missed you!”

Sarah went over to heather and gave her a big hug, “How you feeling?” she asked.

“Better... can we go shopping?”
”Slow down there Heath... nick called me and told me that you ran off… would you mind telling me what happened?”

“Nothing…they…just read some part of my journal. And it embarrassed me. But they apologized.”

“And Heather hasn’t gotten much sleep either.” Said Tony.

“Well you should take a nap later… after the spa treatment... but... maybe I should cancel.” Said Sarah.
”No... Please... I really want to go.”

“Hmm what do you think Joel?”
”Yea... let her go. It will do her good.”

“Ok... yea I scheduled it for 4:00... so... let’s go.”

“Can I go too, I need to get my nails done.” Said Tony.
”Shut up.” Said Sarah. She looked at my arms.

“Why are your sleeves up?”
”Joel’s making me do that... Joel can I move my sleeves down when I go out?”
”No... they stay up…maybe it will make you think twice before you do stuff like that.” Said Joel.

“Ok... bye girls have fun.” Said Tony.

“Yea... she’s coming back to my house after.”

“What... why?”

“She was only going to stay here until she got better.”
Heather got on her jacket and her shoes and gloves. She grabbed her purse and make sure everything was in it, including her black journal.

“Your going to let me read that journal later right?”

“Yea… later.”

They got into her Volkswagen beetle.

“I’ll take you around Waldorf, since we have an extra few minutes.”

She drove down the street and took a left onto Radio Station Rd.

“Here we have La Plata high school, in the heart of Charles County, it holds grades ninth through twelfth.”

She drove to the back of the school, “There’s the baseball field, were id come watch Benj and Joel play baseball.” They drove out of the La Plata high school property, towards the center of Waldorf.

“Here to our right is Crain Highway…where Golden Corral is, where Benji and Joel worked, a little farther down is Target, and Food Lion supermarket where they also worked, that’s what you wanted to know I’m sure.”

“No... I already knew.”

“Fucking magazines, what they decide to share these days in the media.”

“Where did you work Sarah?”
”Well. I work part time at Afterthoughts at Annapolis mall.”

“Cool, so what’s it like being in a sorority?”
”It’s nice, you really become close with your sisters, become involved in the community, through community service, and learn the true meaning of friendship.”

“I might join a sorority when I get out of community college.”

“You’ll love it….so what did you do at Joel’s house?”
”We’ll I slept for a little while…watched them go through my purse.”
”Yea that was a stupid thing that they did. And you ran off…what made you come back?”

“So….yea great song on the radio.” Evanesance was on, “Going Under.”

Sarah turned off the radio.

“Come on Heather, your not telling me something.”

“Nothing happened… Joel…. Just... well he kissed me.”

Sarah pulled the car over on the side of the road.

“He did what?”

“I don’t know why he did, but he did.”
”Why would he do something like that... did you ask him why... I cant believe this... my brother …”

“He said that it just felt like the perfect time or something like that.”
”Ok... I’m calling him.”

“No…Sarah, he didn’t mean anything by it. Let’s just go to the spa you can talk to him later.”

“Alright fine, I can’t believe my brothers sometimes, they do the stupidest shit. I hope he’s not fucking with your emotions.”

Drove down the one of the major streets with lots of shops, took a right onto Housley street.

“Look out for suite 213.” Said Sarah, “Never mind I see it.”

She pulled into the parking lot. It was a small two story brick building.

A sign hung above the front door that read Glow Salon.

“You know about glow salon?”
”Yes... this is where they worked.”
”You know a lot, I’m beginning to think you know more about them then I do…just kiddin with you.”

Heather smiled a bit.

“I worked here too for a little bit, with my mom, I helped sweep up at the end of the day.”

Sarah and Heather got out of the car, and walked up to the front door.

The door was opened already, so we just walked in.

“We’ll look who it is, Sarah Madden. How are you doing sweetie. You look nice.”

“Great and thank you.”
”You’ve grown, I remember you when you were... wow I haven’t seen you in 3 years.”

Sarah smiled.

Heather observed the store, red square tiles on the floor. White walls, open spacious area, a area for nail painting and hair styling. The scent of perfume and hair spray in the air.

“How are your brothers?”
”There doing great, I see your still selling there c-d’s here.”
”Yes your mother insists on it.”

“They currently are just taking a break for a bit from touring.”
”Touring again, there rarely home aren’t they, how’s Benji’s hair style... still have black liberty spikes?”
”No…now he has black Mohawk and black and blond on both sides of his head.”
”That boy…always wonder where he got his craziness from, and Joel how’s he doing?”
”He’s good. There still working on there clothing line.”
”Your mom?”
”She’s doing better...  she told me thanks for the makeup you dropped off at her house.”
”No problem... have you heard from your dad yet?”
Sarah didn’t say anything. The lady went to other questions.

“So... how have you been, you going to college now?”
”Yea Maryland State, in charge of a sorority there.”

“And who’s this?”
”Her name is Heather, me and Benji and Joel are hanging with her for awhile, and she would like a makeover.”

Heather nodded.

“Have you ever been to a spa before?” she asked.

“No... but I have had a facial before.”

“Well, nice to meet you heather, I’m sure you’ll have a nice relaxing time here.”

“You here for the total makeover?”

“What’s in that?”

“Hair style, hair color, manicure, pedicure, facial, makeup, hand massage, hot rock massage treatment. Which includes aromatherapy.”

“Ok, we’ll have that.”

“What hair style would you like?”
”Well… whatever Sarah thinks I should get.”
”No Heather, this is your choice, what you want.”

The lady showed Heather, a metal ring with little clips of colored hair on it.

“This is for blonds, would you like to stay blond?”
”Yes, defiantly. Hmmm... I’d like it to be softer blond, with maybe some small streaks of black underneath.”

“Black streaks… hmm... I don’t know about that.” Said Sarah.

“I thought you said it’s my choice.”
”Alright… if you don’t like it... then its your fault.”

Sarah was kind of surprised Heather stood up for her decision. Normally she’d back down and say ok no I won’t do that.

Heather picked out a soft blond which included tiny strands of bright blond. And picked a black one.

“Let’s wash your hair first.” Heather took out her hair scrunchy.

Heather sat down at a sink, the lady said, “you should tell Benji and Joel to come back and volunteer here. Just for a weekend if they want... we need the help here as you can tell.”

“You guys having trouble here?”

“Yea... we can’t find people….can’t pay rent... so we might have to move to a smaller location.”
”That’s terrible you’ve been here for years.”

“Yea I know...here sit up.” She put a towel around her wet hair, “Well what can ya do, with the economy the way it is, I’m not surprised.”

Heather sat in a chair and the lady combed her hair out.

“So, Heather you have a boyfriend?” Sarah looked at her and shook her head, “Where are you from?”

“Ohio.”
”What are you doing all the way in Maryland?”
”Benji and Joel found me in Pittsburgh, I was there to see Good Charlotte in concert.”

“You look like you could be a good charlotte fan.” Heather smiled.

“So you go to college?”
”Yep, community college, plan on getting my art major.”

The lady mixed the hair coloring, the blond and the black. She used a small brush and painted on the blond. Then tiny streaks of black under neath And tied her hair in a pony tail above her head and put a plastic covering over her hair to let it dry.

“Let’s work on your nails.”

Heather went and sat in a chair across from the hair styling area. Sarah sat next to her and picked up a rolling stone magazine.

“Black chipped off nail polish… that’s how Benji wears his too.”

She cleaned off her nails in a special cleaning solution. And shaped her nails.

“I notice you have nice nails, you don’t bite them do you?”
”No, I never did.”
”That’s good, Sarah does though.”

Sarah smiled, and continued to read.

“What nail color would you like?”

“Hmm... a French manicure, with a tiny silver star on each nail.”

“We can do that.” She painted the top edge of her nails white. And the rest a pale peach color, and air brushed a tiny silver star onto each nail.

She applied one thin layer again of clear polish.

While her finger nails dried she started on her feet, she put some soft lotion on her feet which smelled good.

And put toe separators between her toes.

“What color would you like?”
”Peach.”  She painted her toenails peach. She moved a small fan over and turned it on and aimed it at her feet.

“And for the 8th week in a row, our own Waldorf hometown boys are number one on the charts, this is Good Charlotte with the Anthem.”

“Someone turn that up!” said Sarah.

The lady at the front counter turned up the main radio a bit.

Heather leaned her hands down closer to the fan to dry them off too.

As soon as they were dry, she went to the back to change into a black button up shirt from the changing room, so she could have her facial done.

They put a light pink colored mask of stuff on her face, and two cucumber pieces on her eyes.

“Hey what’s up heather, you look weird?”
”I cant see who is it... wait...” heather sat up and the cucumber pieces fell to her lap.

It was Benji and Joel.

“I didn’t hear you guys come in?”
”Yea we were talking to the lady that’s working on you... food.”

Joel took one of the cucumber pieces and ate it, “hmm... honey and oatmeal, thanks.”

Sarah gave me another one.

“What are you guys doing here?” heather asked them.

“Well, we haven’t been here in a few years, mom was begging for us to stop by and say hello to everyone.”
”Benji show us your new tattoos.” Benji went over to the one hairdresser and showed her the one on his neck and his hand.

“You don’t look any different.” Said Joel.

“It’s a whole process, it’s gonna take awhile right heather?”
”Yep.”

“It’s about getting pampered.”
”Pampers... you wearing diapers heather?” said Benji.

“No... shut up.”
”Oh food.” Benji went to pick up one of the cucumber slices. But Sarah hit his arm.

“Why don’t you guys go to the acme bar and grill…get food there, if your so hungry.”
”I’m guessing you want us to leave?”

“Yea Heather needs to relax… we have cassettes you can listen to Heather, rainforest sounds.”
”I like that.”

“Say something nice to her before you leave.” Said Sarah.

“Um… your face mask tastes nice.”

“Benji you got anything better to say?”
”I know your going to look cool after all this is done. And I’m glad we can help.”
”Damn where did that sentimental complement shit come from…dude lets go.”

Benji smiled at heather a bit.

They went out to there car.

“Why don’t you just wear a shirt that says I like heather, you don’t have to be so obvious dude?”

“I don’t know.”
”You could have just said something like I did, or kept your mouth shut.”

“Don’t worry about them, there just worried that when you get your makeover you’ll look really cute and find all these boyfriends. They feel like your there younger sister, like me.”

“I just got to ignore it.” Heather put on the headset, and listened to the rainforest sounds. She just sat there and relaxed. With the cucumber back on her eyes, someone massaged lotions into her hands, since her nails were totally dry. And someone else was doing reflexology on her feet. Then they put her foot in warm water with sea salts.

“I could just sleep here.”
”You haven’t gotten the hot rock massage yet.”

“My hands feel all soft and warm.”

“Here were going to dip your hands into peraphin wax... it’s the new craze with hand treatments.”

They dipped her hands into the wax and put them in a plastic bag then wrapped towels around them.

“Would you like some tea?” asked the one lady that finished wrapping her hands.

“Yes please.”

They made some lemon tea for her and put a straw in it so Sarah could hold the cup for her, since she couldn’t use her hands.

“Let’s just let that all sit for awhile... the wax, and the face mask... about twenty minutes should be fine.” The lady set the timer.

“Would u like to read a magazine Heather?”
”No that’s ok. I just want to close my eyes.”

Twenty minutes later they gently pealed off the wax, and washed the mask off her face.

“your skin has some color in it, doesn’t look so pale.” Said Sarah.
”yea doesn’t she look nice.”

Heather went into the back room to change, and went into the room where they had the hot rock treatment. The lady that I had met at the front counter was there. Warming up the rocks, they were round flat gray rocks.

Heather laid on a rectangular table, with a towel covering from her lower back to her knees.

She smelled strawberry, and vanilla.

Sarah got her one of those expensive waters from the small ice fridge in the room, water that came in glass bottles, which looked like coke bottles.

“Try this it’s lemon flavored water, really good.”

She never imagined she’d be treated like this. She took a sip of the water and then rested her head against the soft pillow.

The lady dripped some bath oils into the water where the rocks were. And put a few floating votive flower candles in a bowl of water by the door and lit them.

The lady put the rocks onto heathers different pressure points.

Sarah went and put a new cassette in her player, “This is called ocean.”

There was a knock at the door.

“It’s locked, no one can come it.”

“It’s benji and Joel.”
”What are you guys doing here, I thought you when to get something to eat.”
”We tried but the line was to long at acme bar and grill... one hour wait. So we decided to come back here.”
”Well you can’t come in here, heathers getting her hot rock massage.”
”Pop rocks… those were good.” Said Benji.
”Remember when you dared me to drink them soda.” Said Joel.

They laughed.

“Why don’t you wash peoples hair, you can get some extra bucks.”

“Money for tattoos.” Said Benji with a happy smile on his face.

“Yes... Go... have fun.”

They walked away from the door.

The lady was massaging her shoulders. She moved the rocks down her legs to her feet. And placed little smaller rocks in between each toe.

“Why does she have cuts on her wrists and arms?” asked the lady quietly.

“Long story, that’s why she’s here with us, were helping her change her life around, we thought this would be a great place to help her change on the outside.” Said Sarah.

She rubbed the rocks that were on her lower back and near her shoulders. And placed a rock on the palm of her hands. She mixed a little salt scrub stuff with the water that the rocks were in.

“You having fun?” asked Sarah. Heather just smiled and nodded her head.

The lady placed a small beanbag cloth thing on the back of her neck. It had sea salts in it and it was warm. Heather drifted off into a peaceful sleep for few minutes.

The lady took the small rocks off her body, and removed the little rocks from between her toes, and on the palms of her hands.

Sarah tapped heather on the shoulder.

“Come on were going to go get your hair cut.”

Heather smiled and took off her headset. They left the room, and heather went to change back into her black button up shirt and jeans.

Benji and Joel watched her walk out of the changing room.

“Bet she feels like Cinderella or some kind of princess.” Said Benji.

“Yea and were the ones with magic wands, and can grant her wishes.”
”That was sick dude.”
”What…. Whatever.”

The lady took off the plastic covering on her hair.

Her blond hair looked a lot better then before, and the black streaks underneath, just what she wanted. She looked in the mirror, she already was starting to feel a little bit better about herself. On the outside though.

She combed her hair out again.

“Ok what style would you like?”

“Hmm... shoulder length, layered slightly, with my bangs angled towards my face.”

“Good choice.” Said Sarah. She had shoulder length hair and bands that angled towards her face too.

“Excuse me sir. I thought you were washing my hair.” Said the customer to Benji.

“Oh yea…sorry about that.” He continued to wash her hair, he had to take his eyes off of heather for a moment.

The lady with the rows and rows of makeup, showed heather how to put on lipstick and eye shadow.  And how not just wearing black eye shadow and lip gloss every day could make her look prettier, she could still wear dark eye shadow. Just maybe a soft gray or dark brown color. Light pink lipstick with glittery gloss in it. Make it look like she wasn’t wearing much makeup, but still have a nice affect. She was able to take some of the things home with her. They gave her some makeup brushes, makeup remover. Nail kit, and Sarah said she could help show her again at home about how to put on the makeup.

She looked in the mirror, it didn’t even look like her. They blow dried her hair once more, and combed it again. Put a little bit of hair spray in it, and some gel, to form bits and pieces together of her bangs.

“That’s me?” Heather said, while looking at the mirror.

“Yep, that was the inner you, just waiting to escape. Let’s go show Benji and Joel.”

They went over to where they were washing someone’s hair.

“This is the new Heather.”

“Heather…”they looked up. “That’s not her, where did Heather go….”
”It’s me really.”
”But… your wearing real makeup… you aren’t the same girl that hates the way she looks are you?” Benji smiled.

“You look great.” Said Joel.

“I’d say as cute as Amy Lee.” Said Benji.
”Dude... that’s pushing it... I don’t think that cute... but your close.”

“I had a lot of fun.” Said Heather.

“Well I’m glad we could pamper you, and make your day relaxing, feel free to come back anytime.”

Heather went to the changing room, and changed back into her black shirt.

“Ok were going to go back to the house.”
”You going to Tony’s or Sarah’s?”
”Sarah’s... were just gonna hang out tonight, maybe watch a movie.”

Heather put on her coat, Joel went up to Sarah, “Stay away from the romance movies, and anything to depressing. Rent a comedy or something.”

“Ok, I’ll keep that in mind, you two going to stay here for awhile?”
”Yea, were gonna stay and help out, like the old times.” Said Benji.

Heather hugged the lady that gave her the makeover. They went to the front counter to pay.

They went back to Sarah’s house.

“I’m glad you like your new look heather.”
”Thank you Sarah.”
They sat down in the living room.

“You hungry, I could make us sandwiches.”

“Sure.”
They went out to the kitchen, Sarah made them turkey sandwiches, which they brought back to the living room.
”Your eating more which is good. You seem to be smiling just a bit more. Does that mean your feeling better about yourself?”

“I feel a little bit more confident on the outside…but the emotional problems are still there.”

“We’ll we will work on that eventually… I am worried about your parents finding you.”
”Yea….what would happen if they found me?”
”They would probably arrest me and Benji and Joel, and take you back home. Where you will be depressed more. Cause I know you don’t like it at home, with how your parents and step dad treat you. Out here your free to make your own decisions, live your own life. No one really telling you what to do. You don’t have to feel like your trapped. Or that you need to escape. If you went back home…you probably wouldn’t stay there long, they’d ship you off to a hospital.”
”And I don’t want that at all.”
”And I think secretly you really like it here, like any Good Charlotte fan would.”

Heather smiled a bit, and took another bite of her sandwich.

“So… which one do you like?”
”Huh?” she knew what Sarah was asking but just didn’t want to answer the question.

“You know what I’m asking, a lot of Good Charlotte fans have favorites... so... who is it?”
”I…uh... don’t have a favorite.”
”Oh come on I won’t tell them…for some reason I get this weird vibe from you…that you like Joel. I mean he did kiss you. And you didn’t seem to mad about it.”

“No…..not Joel.”
”Benji?”
Heather didn’t answer, just nodded her head a little. And ate more of her sandwich.

“And if you tell them!”

“Pinky swear, sorority girls pinky swear I won’t.” Sarah held out her pinky and heather held out hers and they hooked pinkies.

“I promise I won’t tell them.”

“Ok…”

“So… man... no girls liked Benji in high school, used to be jealous of me cause I was 15 and had a boyfriend already, even still to this day, he has trouble talking to girls. Maybe it has something to do with his immaturity, and his dumbass jokes.” Said Sarah.

Heather laughed.

Sarah turned on the tv, the news was on.

“To different news across the country, a parents plea to find there teenage daughter, amber alert was announced today, to find her, she is 19, we don’t have a picture of her yet, but as soon as we do, we’ll put it on the air. She’s 5’3, blond hair, possibly suicidal, if you see someone, acting suspicious, she was last seen with two men, and a girl, which descriptions we are unsure of, please call the Charles county police.”

“Shit… if they show a picture of me… then they’ll know... the salon will know... anywhere I go... I’m starting to get that trapped feeling again.”
”Don’t worry Heather, its not like you go out very much anyway, so you wont be exposed to the public. Me, Benji or Joel will be with you at all times, we’ll lie, do whatever we need to do to conceal your identity.”

“Can we watch something else…I don’t really want to watch the news anymore.”

“Sure.”
The phone rang. Heather got scared.

“Relax.. I’ll get it. Flip through the channels see if you find something you want to watch.”

Sarah reached over and picked up the phone by the couch.

“Hello….Benj hey, yea she’s here. I know….I saw….. really…shit… yea I know they have tv’s there… damn did they say anything….oh yea.. always gossip there, what do you expect it’s a salon.. yea sure hold on… Heather it’s Benj.”

Sarah gave heather the phone.

“Hey, you busy?”
”Um… not really, just watching TV with Sarah, what’s up?”
”Well, I was wondering.. since…damn Joel... hold the fucking card still..”

“You ok?”
”Yea….sorry…. ok... yea I was wondering if you would like to hang out tonight?”
”Hang out? Like where?”
”What… give me the phone.” Said Sarah.

Heather gave the phone to Sarah.

“Benji what are you doing... you asking her out…”

“Well I was trying to.. “
”I don’t think she should go out tonight, not with the news saying all of that shit. We don’t need to risk someone noticing her.”

“I’ll be with her... it will be ok Sarah. I’m the older one remember, I’m responsible.”

“What is it with you two…. first Joel kisses Heather and now your asking her out.”
”My brother did what?”
”Yea…..he kissed her…”

“Not surprised, Joel always goes after girls I like.”

“Are you serious about this, you really want to take her out, to some place nice?”
”Yes... she just looks real cool after the makeover, and I want to take her out.”

“Sarah give me the phone... come on.” Said Heather.

“Fine, here…” Sarah gave Heather the phone and left the room.

“What’s her problem?” Heather asked Benji.

“She’s mad that I want to hang out with you, take you to acme bar and grill.”

“Sounds like fun, yea. I can always watch tv with sarah another night.”
”So ill see you at 7:00?”
”Yea... sounds great.”

They got off the phones.

“That’s the last time I try to help you get a date.” Joel had written what benji wanted to say on cards, “never knew it would come down to me having to write on cue cards for you… word for word what to say, kind of pathetic dude.”

“Would you mind tell me what this kiss is about?”
”It was nothing Benji, did Sarah tell you?”

“Well I guess Heather told Sarah... then she told me.”

“Geez I’ll back off, didn’t know you liked heather that much.”

“This reminds me of high school… remember when I called that girls house…and pretended I was you.”

“Yea… you’d better go get ready, if your picking her up at 7:00.”
”Sarah?” Heather went into the kitchen were Sarah was sitting at the kitchen table.

“Yea?”
”You ok….you kind of gave me the phone, like you were mad or frustrated.”

“Here…sit.”

Heather sat in front of her.

“I’m worried about your safety….and your feelings… who knows where your parents are, I highly doubt there back in Ohio, they wouldn’t just fly here, and fly back…when they realized that you weren’t at the hospital, they are around here somewhere, waiting for you to show up. Look I’m not trying to be a parent here... telling you what to do… I’m just worried…. And don’t even get me started on your feelings… with Joel kissing you, and Benji asking you out tonight... I don’t know what to think.”

“Sarah I’ll be ok. You have to let me go out there and take chances… damn this is what I should have told my parents…”

There was a knock at the door.  Sarah went to the front door.

“It’s Benji, he’s like an hour early.”

Sarah opened the door.

“That was quick Benji.”
”Yea... well you know the long wait at the restaurant, decided me and her should get there early.” Said Benji, “is she ready?”
Heather went to the living room.

“Ok….Benji... you treat her nice. No immature stupid comments, no making fun of her, and if Joel some how shows up and you get in a argument.”
Benji interrupted her,”Ok mom, yes ill have her back at your house by 10:00.”

“I’m being serious... be careful.”

“Ok.”

Heather and Benji went to his black used ford explorer.

“I actually called for reservations, so we don’t have to wait, kind of lied to Sarah... so we can talk more when we get there.”

“Cool, thanks for taking me out tonight, I was afraid Sarah was gonna lock me up in my room.”

“Yea... she’s just looking out for you, yea Joel decided to argue with me too, after I talked to you, did Sarah show you La Plata high school?”
”Yea... she showed me around….it’s a nice place here.”

“Try growing up here…..I always wanted out… thankfully my house is like… miles from here… still in Waldorf... but the edge of Waldorf.”

“Yea that’s how I feel about my hometown.”

“Ok, were almost there... here... grab my extra made hoodie… put that on… I think if you keep the hoodie up, there’s less of a chance of people noticing you.” Said Benji.

Heather grabbed the black made hoodie from the seat behind her and put it on, zipped it up and pulled the hoodie up over her head.

Heather looked up at the visor and the bottom side of it had a picture of Cashdog on it.

“You keep a picture of cash in here... that’s cool.”
”Yep, he rides with me everywhere that way.”
”And I see dog fur on the seats… Cash has been in here?”
”Yea of course, I have a dog bone in the back seat….ok were here.”

Benji pulled up into the Valet parking, he and Heather got out of the car, Benji gave the valet driver a tip.

“I don’t know why we couldn’t have just ordered room service.” Said her mom.

“Look it would be good to go dine somewhere, rather then just stay in the hotel room, waiting by the phone.” Said her father, “the guy in the main lobby said that this was a good place to eat at, it has four stars.”

“This place must be good, they have valet parking.”They walked into the entrance of Acme bar and grille.

“Reservation for Madden.”
”Right this way, Benji isn’t it?”

“Yea... you remember me?”
”Well... not me, but a waitress here remembers you and Joel, she says you came here all the time.”

They were seated at a booth, near the middle of the restaurant, there were booths to the side of them, and in front of them and behind them.

They were given menus, “I’ll be back in a few minutes to take your order.”

Heather opened the menu, she was glad this wasn’t a fancy restraint with food that she couldn’t understand.

“Let’s get pizza.”
”Sure, they have great pizza here.”

“This is a nice looking place, nice lighting, very friendly, my favorite restraint is Fridays.”
”I think they have one of those in Annapolis.”

The waiter returned, “You ready to order?”
”Yes... we’ll have the pizza... what did you want on it?” Benji asked Heather.

“Just cheese is ok with me.”
”Ok one large plain cheese pizza.”

“Ok, would you like the salad too?”

Heather said “yea.”
”Sure then.” Said Benji.

“Ok. Here are your salad plates, there’s a salad bar in the back.”

Heather started to get up, but looked around.

“You want me to go get you some?”
”No... don’t be silly, I’ll go with you.” She got up again. Looked around, then sat back down and lowered her head.

“What? You see someone.”

“I think I see my parents….”

“Ok… you want to stay or leave?”
”…. Well you went through all this trouble to make the reservation and plan this for me… can you go and get my salad.”
”Sure no problem, what would you like?”

“Anything but tomatoes, and no salad dressing.”

Benji took my plate with him, and went to the back of the restaurant.

He got in line, someone people walked by him.

“Hey aren’t you that guy from good charlotte?”

“Yea.”
”Can you sign something for my daughter?” Benji grabbed a napkin from the salad bar table and got out a pen from his pocket.

“What’s your daughter’s name?”
”Heather.”

‘Heather…..it could be any heather.’ Benji thought.

“How old is she?”

“She’s twenty now… our daughter ran away. She loves your band, so when she comes back I’m sure she’ll be happy to see this.”

“Well…..I hope you find her.” He signed the napkin and gave it to them. He got some salad and returned to his table.

“Where are the croutons?”

“Sorry…. I think I saw your parents over there, they had me sign something for you.”

“What did they say?”
”Our daughter ran away. She loves your band, so when she comes back I’m sure  she’ll be happy to see this, you want to get the pizza to go?”

“No….its alright… just… keep on a look out for me. If they do come near our table, I’ll hide under the table.”

Benji smiled.

The pizza arrived, the got a slice for themselves and put it on there plates.

Heather tried some, “its good, good pizza sauce.”

“That’s true Maryland pizza.” Said Benji.

When they finished the pizza, heather made sure her hoodie was pulled up completely. Covering her hair too.

Benji got his jacket, and hat and put it on.

“Ready to go?”
”Yep.” She took another sip of water.

They snuck out to the lobby and paid by the door. They told the valet to get there car.

“Just go up and ask the hostess, I’m sure that they know who he came with.”
”it’s a dumb idea right, I’m sure the girl at that hospital was just joking.”
”It’s worth checking it out. He might know something.”

Her parents went to the hostess counter.

“hi, was there a table here reserved for madden?”
”Yes.”

“Do you know if he brought someone with him?”
”Yes, I think he did, a female.”

“This may sound strange but, were looking for our daughter, and he might know something about where she is, do you have a number were we can reach him at?”
”Yes he did leave a number, when he called in for his reservation but sorry we can’t give out that information.Is this case under investigation, because I can’t give out any info without police consent.”

They showed the hostess the forms, for release of any information, which could lead to the finding of Heather.

“Ok…were not supposed to usually do this.” She copied the number down onto the form and gave it to them.

“Thank you so much.”

“Let’s call later.”

There parents went out to there car.

Benji pulled out of the parking lot of the restaurant.

“Did you have fun?” Benji asked.

“Yes... aside from the fact I almost saw my parents, and would have been dragged back to Ohio…it was nice. A nice change from how I usually spent my nights back at home. Usually it was... watch TV, go online.”

Heather turned on the radio, it was Evanesance. Benji turned up the radio, so they could listen to, “Bring me to life.”

They pulled into Sarah’s driveway, “Don’t tell Sarah you saw your parents, she’d get all scared and never let you leave the house.”

“Ok I won’t.”

“Here let me walk you up to the front door.” Said Benji.

They went up to Sarah’s porch. Sarah sat on the couch and peaked out the window.

‘I’m giving her one minute, then she’s in the house.’ Sarah thought.

“So….yea... have you seen Sid and Nancy?”
”No… not yet.”
”You’ll have to come over and watch it sometime, let you met cash.”

Awkward silence then. Heather smiled a bit.

Benji got closer to her, heather stared at the ground.

“Heather?”
”Yea?”
”Can I kiss you?”

She was shocked, she thought he was just friends with her, she didn’t know he liked her that much.

“Ummm.” Heather looked up and saw the porch light turn on. Sarah opened the door.

“Heather come on.” Sarah opened the door and let heather in.

“Go home Benjamin.”

“I hate when you call me that.” Said Benji as he walked down the steps of the porch and to his car.

Heather got in the house.

“You didn’t have to pull me away like that.”

“Yes I did, I saw you both... from the window.”

“I wish you weren’t so against me hanging out with Benji.”

“Well…I just saw the news... I hope you’re happy you went out tonight.”

Heather looked over at the TV screen, a photo at the top right of screen, of Heather and Benji at the restaurant.
”Did you see anyone around you taking pictures?”

“No…seriously, I had no idea… oh my god, if my parents see that.”
”They probably hired reporters, to go snooping around, or maybe it was enquirer or something.”

“What’s going to happen?”
”Hopefully nothing….  I mean even if your parents do see it, they don’t have his number, sucks being in the media doesn’t it? Somehow I avoid it.”

“Ok... I’m going to get some sleep.”

“Alright, I’m going to watch the news a little bit longer, see if they show any other pictures.”

Heather went over to where Sarah was sitting and gave her a hug.

“What was that for?”

“Because… I’m glad you are there for me.”

“No problem.”

Heather went to her room, got out the journal Sarah gave her. Got out her black pen, laid on her bed.

I’m scared that my parents know where I am. With seeing them at the restaurant, and seeing the picture of me and Benji from the restaurant, I know that they will find me now, no matter how much they try to protect me. And I can’t just stay in here. I feel torn between the life I want, and the life I know that I have to return to.

She slipped the pen in to the holder at the side of the journal, turned off her light by the bed. And tried her best to sleep.

Benji was back at his own house, he put some dog food in cash’s dog bowl. Then cash followed him back to the living room. Where Benji put a Mest cd in his cd player and got his lyrics journal. He wanted to work on the new cd.

He put his journal down, and went to his bedroom, he changed into black sweat pants and black t-shirt that said Rock.

He went to the kitchen, got some something to drink and went back to the couch. Cash followed carrying a dog bone in its mouth.

Benji sat on the couch again, cash dog got on the couch, and rested its head on Benji’s lap. He scratched the dog gently behind the ear, then went back to writing.

He started thinking, that he should have kissed her. But would that change things. Plus if he did, then she’d probably tell Sarah.

Benji called Tony.

“Dude. I need advice.”

“I already gave you the sex talk.”
”I’m serious….and no, not about that. It’s about Heather.”

“Oh yea how was dinner.”

“Great, but I saw her parents, I think they have some idea of what’s going on. I’m just worried about her, if her parents find her, first of all ill end up in jail. Second, me, Sarah or Joel will never see her again.”

“But your more concerned about you never seeing her again.”
”Yea… and I almost kissed her.”

“Really, sweet. What stopped you?”
”Sarah, she doesn’t want me to get close to heather for some reason. She thinks I’m going to hurt her feelings or something, I think its cause Heather’s already mentally unstable…that she doesn’t want some guy in her life.”

“We’ll put yourself in Heather’s shoes for a minute, you wouldn’t trust anyone either.”

“No….I wouldn’t. I’d trust Joel….no wait take that back. He kissed Heather so no. I don’t trust him.”
”Really. So Joel kissed her and you didn’t… even more reason not to get involved with her dude, you don’t want to get into another argument with Joel.”

“Yea... I guess.”

“Hold on…dude don’t slide down the steps! Nick found the sled from the garage, now there sliding down the steps on the sled.”

“Cool.”
”You don’t sound to happy, look if I could give you better advice I would, my opinion just don’t get involved.”
”Yea... but... what if her parents don’t find her, and she stays with us longer.”
”It’s not about a matter of if, it’s a matter of when, If you were a father and your daughter ran away, you wouldn’t just give up, you’d keep looking for her.”

“Yea. Your right, I just wish there was something I can do, so she doesn’t have to worry. I want her to come over to my house tomorrow night, should I ask her?”
”Sure... I guess. What do you have planned?”
”Were gonna watch Sid and Nancy.”

“You should have Sarah come with you.”
”What, you serious, you don’t trust me either.”

“All I’m saying…is just watch the movie, eat some dinner and drop her off at her house, no fooling around.”

“I know…. Ok I’m gonna go, I had a busy night. I’ll call you sometime this weekend, any parties planned.”
”Yea, always.”

 “See ya.” Said Benji. He put away his cell phone.

Cash went to the door and put its paw on it.

“You need out?” Benji went to the door and started to open it. He saw a cop car drive by.

He shut the door.

“Uh…let me take you out to the backyard instead.” Benji let cash out in the back yard.

After cash was finished he was let back into the house, and followed Benji into his bedroom.

“No cash, you sleep in the living room.”

Cash jumped up onto the bed and made himself comfortable at the end of the bed.

“Ok…fine just one more night.”

Heather woke up the next morning. Yawned and got out of bed, she observed her wrists, already starting to heal with the makeup Sarah had put on them.

She walked out to the living room, Sarah was eating cereal.

“So... what do you want to do today?” Sarah asked as Heather sat next to her on the couch.

“I’d kind of like to go to the mall.”

“Nope, no going out today. Let’s just hang around here.”

“Fine I’ll call Joel, or Benji.”

“I already talked to them, they agree, you should stay inside today.”

“Whatever.” Heather went back to her room and slammed the door.

The phone rang.

“Hello?”
”Yea Sarah its Benji, yea I know I just talked to you this morning, but I forgot to ask you something.”
”Sure what is it?”
”I was wondering if Heather can hang out with me tonight?”
”You guys aren’t going anywhere are you?”

“No were just going to watch Sid and Nancy, then ill take her home.”

“That sounds even more dangerous to her then, her being out in public.”

“Can I talk to her?”

“Sure hold on.” Sarah brought the phone to heathers room, and knocked on her door.

“Heather its Benji he wants to talk to you for a minute, open the door.” Heather unlocked the door, Sarah gave her the phone.

“I wish you wouldn’t lock your door. It makes me worry about you. Please keep it unlocked.”

Heather rolled her eyes, and closed the door.

“Hello?”
”Hey its me, you wanna hang out tonight?”
”Sarah won’t let me, I think I’m like grounded or something.”

“You’re not grounded, Sarah’s just being a little paranoid. I was wondering if you’d like to come over for awhile. Watch that movie.”

“Sure, that would be nice.”

“I’ll pick you up around 4:00 then?”

“Ok, I have to go… Sarah’s callin for me. Probably lunch time.”

“See you later.”

Heather put the phone down and went to the living room.

“Yea?”
”your going over to Benji’s tonight aren’t you?”
”I want to Sarah, you cant keep me locked up in this place forever.”

“I guess….you are old enough to make your own decisions. You hungry?”
”I’m starving. Can I have some soup?”

They went to the kitchen after Heather had finished her soup that Sarah cooked for them.

She went to her room, changed into a nice red long sleeved sweater and kaki pants that Sarah let her borrow.

Sarah helped her put on a little bit of makeup.

“I will pick you up in two hours.”

“Can’t I stay longer, please.”
”Heather I don’t want you to be out late, they probably have detectives out patrolling around looking for you.”

“Alright.”

The door bell rang. Sarah checked by the curtain to see who it was. It was Benji.

“How come he always shows up early?”

Sarah opened the door.

“Yea I know I’m early, I got a call…we all need to talk.”

Sarah let Benji in. Benji decided he had to tell them now, they would eventually find out anyway.

“What happened?” Said Heather, sitting on the couch.

“Detectives from Charles county called, asking me if I knew anything about a lost teenager…I said no. Then they asked me if I was at the hospital. I denied everything. I don’t know if they traced my call or not. I just wanted you both to know.”

“Ok you’re not going out.” Sarah said to Heather.

“Sarah, it’s just for two hours. There probably to busy trying to look for Ruben and Madaline.”

“If something happens, then it will be my fault I know.”

“Teenagers……. Just go…I will pick you up though….. its 4:00 now…ill pick you up at 6:00pm.”

Heather hugged Sarah.

Benji and heather went out to his black used ford explorer.

“Cash will be real excited to meet you. He’s a real flirt with girls.”

They arrived at Benji’s house, located right outside Waldorf.

It was a two story brick house, circular driveway, an invisible fence set up around the perimeter of the front yard. He parked the car. Cashdog off in the distance running towards Benji’s car but stopped just behind the invisible fence, wagging its tail happily.

Benji got out of the car and went to Cashdog and gently petted its head.

Heather went over to Benji. “Cash loves being outside in the afternoon.” Said Benji.

He undid the collar that was around its neck. Cash went up to Benji, licked his hand and then went over to Heather. He sniffed heathers hand.

“Cash…sit…give heather your paw.” Heather shook cash’s paw, like a person would shake hands with a friend.

“has your dog been trained professionally, it seems very obedient.”
”Nope, I trained him since he was a pup, he pretty much listens to anything I say, isn’t that right boy.” Cash got up and went near Benji and barked.

“Let’s go inside, shall we.” Heather observed that the front door had a black thick metal storm door, with nice designs on it. Benji opened the storm door, the main door was painted dark red, with a gothic looking door knocking thing on the front.

When they were inside of the house, the first thing she saw was the living room. Couch to the left, in the middle of the room, and TV in front of the couch. To the left was the dinning room. Cashdog was let inside the house, and went over to Heather to sniff her again, then sat in the living room by the TV.

“Can I get you anything?”

“You have popcorn?”

“Sure, ill make a small bowl for cash too, cause he loves popcorn. He eats like a human, loves junk food.”

Benji got the movie out and rewinded it.

“If you want to take a look around you can. I cleaned up before you came over.”

“No that’s alright.” Heather sat on the couch.

Benji made the popcorn and brought it over, put a black doggy bowl that said Cashdog on it in pretty red lettering, that was filled with popcorn. Cash started eating it right away.

He put the movie in, and sat on the couch next to me, we shared popcorn.

At Sarah’s house Sarah was trying to do whatever she could to distract her from the fact that she didn’t know what was going on at Benji’s, she wanted to know exactly what heather was doing at all times, for her safety. But she knew she couldn’t, she just had to know that Heather was a responsible almost adult girl.

‘Should I call over there…..but…its only 4:30.’ She decided to work a little on her poetry book she was writing. Half an hour later, she started to get more worried, ‘not much longer… just one more hour... till she’s safe at home.’

Cash had fallen asleep on the living room floor.

“You like the movie?” Benji asked.

“Yea, it’s good.” Heather yawned, “What time is it anyway?”

“You can’t already be tired.”

“I haven’t been sleeping well. Worried about my parents.”

“Yea I know... I’m a little worried too, it’s around 5:30…Sarah’s probably already on her way to pick you up, to bad you couldn’t stay and finish the movie with me.”

“Yea, Cash seems tired as well.”

“He’s seen this movie so many times.”

“Benji I’m sorry about Sarah that one night, when she pulled me inside... I didn’t know she was standing inside watching.”

“It’s alright, I think sometimes Sarah forgets that she’s not me and Joel’s mom, since our mom was at the hospital a lot and wasn’t able to help out as much as she wanted to, Sarah started telling us what to do, but we respect her as a sister.”

“Well, we still have another half hour.” Said Heather, kind of smiling.

Benji gently put his arm around her and brought her closer to him.

Cashdog woke up and went over to the couch, and sat down. He looked at Benji then Heather.

“I think cash knows… he’s just jealous. He knows he can’t have you.”

Heather laughed a little.

“But can I have you?”

Heather blushed and tucked a bit of her bangs behind her ear, nervously.

She nodded a bit, looking down at the floor. When she looked back up, her eyes met his dark brown eyes.

It had been a really long time since she had kissed someone, the kiss with Joel was totally out of the blue, not planned at all. And Joel kissed Heather, so he initiated that kiss.

Benji kissed her cheek, then she kissed his lips, he put his fingers of his one hand gently under her chin. She could feel the warmth of his lips, and the cool of his lip rings. Sending shivers throughout her trembling body. She could no longer hear the movie playing in the background. She for at least these moments that night, did not think about death or suicide. She couldn’t even imagine dieing now, she realized she had found someone that gave her a reason to live.

‘It’s 6:00…where is she?’ thought Sarah to herself as she sat in Benji’s driveway. She had turned on her front lights and they were pointed to the front main glass window, hoping the reflection would show through, and she’d notice. Without having to beep her horn.

Sarah rolled her eyes, and turned off the car.

‘They must be upstairs, Benji’s probably giving her the grand tour of the house, or as I’d like to call it, a cold dark Dungon.’

The gothic door knock on the door was just to dark and creepy for her, if it was her house she’d paint the door pink, and put a pretty flowered wreath on the front door.

She knocked on the door. No answer. Sarah got out the spare key that Benji had lent her, Joel had a key too. What surprised Sarah was the scene she saw when she opened the door.

Heathers shirt lay on the table near the couch, they were sitting close to each other , kissing.

“Heather?!” Sarah stood there with her arms folded across her chest. Heather looked up, she had never seen Sarah look this mad before.

Heather grabbed her red sweater and put it on quickly.

“How did you get in here?” asked Benji accusingly.

“I had a key Benji, you gave one to me and to Joel. I knew I shouldn’t have let her come over here. What were you two doing?”

“Nothing, seriously we were watching a movie.”

“Yea Sarah, we were just hanging out.” Heather smoothed her hair down with the palm of her hand.

“You, out to the car. I’ll talk to you when I’m finished talking with my brother.”

Heather looked like she was just heartbroken. She didn’t say bye or anything to benji, didn’t even smile at him.

“What did you have to go and do that for?” asked Benji.

“You said pick her up at 6:00 so I did. I can’t believe you, I reminded you don’t get involved. She’s not emotionally stable, but did you listen, no of course not. I’m Benji and I’m in a punk band and I don’t have to listen to anyone.”

“Well look how you made her feel now, she’s probably even more emotionally unstable.”
”She’ll get over it, Benji she’s only 20… girls like that… no I wont even get into a conversation like that… she’s just.. not someone that you need in your life ok.”

“What do you want me to do Sarah, just say no to her. Even when I’m trying to be her friend.”

“Be her friend yea, but not a relationship. But I know what your going to do, defend her, take her side, and ill get all mad at you, then Joel will find out, you guys will argue.”

“What do you want me to do, just help her on a mental standpoint and nothing else. Not try to makeup for what she’s missed in her life.”
”I want you to think before you act Benji, that’s all.” With that Sarah left and returned to the car. She heard right away Heather sniffling and hiding her tears.

“I know how you feel heather, my mom didn’t want me dating this one guy, we were going through hard times…and I realized it was best that maybe he wasn’t the right guy for me at that time.”

“I don’t care...god…….Sarah we weren’t doing anything!”

“You guys were kissing, and you had your shirt off, you didn’t think that would lead to anything.”

“Right away you think id become some slut and….. is that what you think, that im just so desperate?”
”No….. We’ll talk about this more at home.”
”I don’t want to talk about it, I just want to be left alone.”

It was a very quiet ride back to Sarah’s house. When they arrived Heather was the first to exit the car. When Sarah went to the front door and let Heather in, Heather raced to her bedroom and slammed the door.

Heather’s parents called the detective.

“We have the phone number for Benji Madden.” Said her mother.
”Yea I think he’s involved I saw that picture on the TV from the undercover reporter. They believe it is your daughter.”

They gave the detective the number.

He has other detectives and police in the room that were also following the case.

“We’ll call you back as soon as we know anything, hopefully whoever this madden guy is, will know where we can find Ruben and Madaline.”

They dialed the number on the speaker phone so they could record it.

“Hi sir were from the Charles county police center, is this Benji Madden?”
”Yes it is, is there a problem officer?”
”Yes there is, do you know anything about a missing teen in the area, she’s 20. Long blond hair.”

“I meet a lot of fans that are 20 year old females. But sorry no I don’t know anything about that.”

“You weren’t just at a hospital two nights ago?”
”The last time I was at the hospital was when we visited our mother.”

“Where can we find Ruben and Madaline?”
”I don’t know who those people are.”

“What about the people in your band, what are there names?”
”The band has nothing to do with this.”

“I know your no telling the truth, your afraid that if you admitted to this your singing career would no longer exist, so you go and do something like this, thinking no one would suspect you since people think so highly of you in this area, and respect you as a musician.”

Benji hung up the phone. He didn’t know who to call, if he called Sarah she would panic, if he called Heather, which might send her back into suicidal thoughts. And if he called Tony there would be a possibility he would call Sarah. So he decided to keep his mouth shut.

“Did you trace that call?”

“Yep, got the address and everything, lets go.”

“Wait, we have to call her parents first.”

They dialed there parents number.

“Yes, we found him, he’s in south Waldorf.”
”Good, do you know if our daughters with him?”
”I don’t know, he denies everything. But we’ll go to the house, if he’s not there we’ll search the house, but it will take awhile to get there. Were from outside of Waldorf near Annapolis, that’s where our headquarters is located, I wanted to talk to the rest of the police force, so they can come prepared, we don’t know if these guys are holding her hostage, if there going to harm her.”

“Do whatever you need to do, we just want our daughter back.” Said her mother.

“Should we come with you?”
”No... We’ll have to make arrests, if your daughter resists coming with us, we’ll have to handcuff her.  Don’t think you’ll want to see that, plus you might be in danger, if whoever these guys are don’t want her to leave. We don’t know what there capable of.”

“Ok call us when you find her.”

The detective talked with the rest of the police people, planning out how they would find her, and how they would get to Benji’s house.

Heather’s door was locked, blasting the Evanescence song, My Immortal.

Sarah put her headphones on. Realize its best to let heather just let her emotions out, blast her music if she needed to.

Heather grabbed her journal from underneath her bed, she wiped her wet puffy eyes with her sleeve.

Sarah ruined everything, she came to pick me up, and saw me and Benji together, we weren’t even doing anything, ill probably not be able to hang out with him for a long time, I think she’s grounding me, she’s not my fucking parents. I want to run away, I cant stand being here at the place, but I cant go home, I have no way to get home and even if I did go home it would just go back to the life that I hated, the reason I came to Pittsburgh in the first place.

Heather ran her hand gently over the fresh bed sheets that were giving to her by Sarah that morning. After her makeover, Sarah felt that Heather was responsible enough to have bed sheets, and wouldn’t try to harm herself with them.

She hit the loop button on the CD player, so it would play My Immortal continuously.

She closed her black journal and kissed the front cover gently. And wiped the wet tears again away from her eyes.

Heather got a chair from the corner of the room and put it by the closet door. She opened the door a bit, pulled the blankets off the bed, letting them pile up on the floor. She grabbed the white bed sheet, pulled the corners off the mattress, sat on the floor and tied the two ends of the mattresses together.

She threw one end of the mattress sheet over the door and tied it in place to the door.

Sarah was getting annoyed of the music. She wanted her to vent, and be upset as much as she wanted, but there was a limit. She couldn’t hear that song one more time.

She went to heathers bedroom door, knocked on the door. “Heather, come on that’s enough.”

No answer, just the loud beats and screams of the music.

Sarah banged on the door once more.

Heather was oblivious to the outside world, she made a loop out of one end of the bed sheet. Tied it as tight as she could, double knot. She went and changed her CD to the mix CD she made back at home of all the songs she’d listen to when she was depressed.

“It can’t rain all the time. ”From the Crow soundtrack. “Youth of the Nation.” By POD. “Everybody Hurts.” By REM. “Jumper.” By Third Eye Blind. “Adam’s Song.” By Blink 182. “numb.” By Linkin Park. “Rest in Pieces.” By Saliva. “Don’t let me get me.” By Pink.

“Perfect.” By Simple Plan. “Day that I die.” By Good Charlotte.

“Open this door right now Heather!” said Sarah. She reached up for the key above the door ledge, it wasn’t there. She started to panic.

She picked up her cell phone and called Joel.

“Heather… she’s locked in her room, I can’t find the key.”
”She might be trying to run away. Ill be right over. Call Benji make sure he knows too.”

“Ok, hurry up over here Joel.”

Sarah called Benji. He was kind of afraid to answer the phone, thinking it was the detectives again.

“Hello?” Benji asked.

“It’s Sarah, you have to come over, heather locked herself in her room when we got home, and I cant find the key.”
”Ok, ill be right over, did you call Joel?”
”Yea he’s on his way too.”

Benji grabbed his made hoodie and headed out the door, he pulled up his hood.

Two detectives sat in a blue car down the street, a few houses down from his house. Watching Benji get into his car. Since the detective’s car had no police sirens on the top of the car, it looked like any other normal car.

“What do you say, follow him?”

“Yea, we have a warrant out for him, so he can’t get far. Just stay back a bit, so he doesn’t catch on were following.”

Benji drove to Sarah’s house, Joel was in his black Honda civic car driving to Sarah’s as well.

Benji pulled in the long driveway first, behind Sarah’s car. Maybe because he was speeding down the side streets. He noticed Sarah pacing back and forth on the front porch.

Benji got out of his black used ford explorer, then Joel pulled into the driveway.

“I can’t find the key anywhere. I checked the ledge.”

“Maybe she took the key in to the room with her.” Said Joel as he walked up the front steps.

They went into the house.

“I can hear the music, as she has been playing it all this time.”
”Yea…non-stop.”

“What happened that made her so upset?” asked Joel. As he went into the kitchen. Benji and Sarah followed.

“Nothing…” Benji fidgeted with his lip ring a bit nervously.

“Yea, let’s just look for the key, and talk about it later.” Said Sarah.

Joel opened a kitchen drawer and lifted it out, and placed it on the kitchen table, “If I know you right Sarah, you usually put stuff in these junk drawers.”

He rummaged through one of the drawers, then pulled out another junk drawer and set it on the kitchen counter.

“I think I found it.” Joel said as he showed it to Sarah.

“That’s the right key, how did it get in there.” Asked Sarah.

“That’s not real important right now.” Joel went to Heather’s bedroom, and knocked on it one more time before putting the key into the key hole.

Still no answer.

“That fucking music….make it stop.” Sarah said.

Benji took a step back away from them.

Joel looked back at Benji, “Come on dude.”

“No... you guys go in first, she’s probably upset about what happened at my house tonight, she might not want to see me.”

“Ok whatever dude.” Said Joel.

Joel opened the door. And walked in, Sarah stood by the doorway.

“I don’t see her.” Said Joel. Joel observed that the blankets were piled on the floor and the sheets were missing from the bed.

He saw her closet door. Sarah glanced over at it too.

“Shit!”

Sarah passed out, Benji went up behind her and held her.

“Take Sarah to the living room.”

“What’s going on Joel?”

“Just do what I say!”

Benji held Sarah and carried her to the living room. And laid her on the couch. Benji went to the kitchen and got a cold paper towel, and returned to the living room, and pressed the cold paper towel against her forehead.

“Sarah?” Benji gently touched the side of her face. He desperately wanted to know what she saw.

Joel went to Heather’s stereo system, and turned off the CD player. A silence over came the room, it was to quiet.

He stared over at the closet door, he felt angry, sad, wishing he could have done something, before it had to come to this.

He grabbed the chair that had been pushed away from her feet.

He stood up on the chair, got out a pocket knife from his back pocket. And cut the knot at the top of the closet door. He cut through the fabric, he didn’t know how long she had been there, he was hoping as soon as she was cut free, she’d gasp for breath.

She hung like a rag doll in his arms. He got down off the chair, and laid her on the bed. He undid the loop quickly, pulling it loose.  And away from her neck. A red bruise mark around her neck.

“Heather….breathe..” Joel picked up her wrist. Made sure to have his fingers in the right place.  He couldn’t cry, he was in to much shock and to much denial to cry. There was no pulse. He put two fingers by the side of her neck to check her pulse there instead, nothing.

No pills on the nightstand, no alcohol, to be seen. Her journal lay on the pillow, opened to the page she last wrote in, her pen resting on the newly written page. His eyes glanced over the page. He picked up on a few words…

‘I want to run away, I can’t stand being here at the place, but I can’t go home’

he picked up heather, her body limp and cold.

He carried her out towards the living room, ‘what do I tell Benji.’ Joel decided to not say anything.

Joel could hear them talking, at least some talking, the other a sound of crying.

Sarah looked up and dried her eyes.

“See... she’s ok.” Said Benji, “Damn I was scared for a second there…Sarah here…is like flipping out.”

“Were going to the hospital…” Said Joel staring down at Heather’s body in his arms.

Benji went over to Joel, “She over dose again?” he picked up her hand, “There’s always a chance for teens that overdose once, to do it again.”

Joel didn’t answer, just told Sarah to go pack a bag for the hospital stay.

Sarah nodded and went to her bedroom.

“I’m going to take Heather out to the car.” Said Joel.
”What do I do?” Asked Benji.
”Go with Sarah, make sure she’s alright.”

Benji went into Sarah’s bedroom. She was crying, and pulling clothes out of closet throwing them on her floor. She yanked her black suitcase from under the bed.

Benji just stood there watching.
”Sarah?”
Sarah stopped packing, and just sat on her bed.

“It’s ok, there just gonna pump her stomach like they did last time, wont take too long, pretty soon we’ll be back at this house, talking with her about what happened, and we can prevent it from happening again.”
Sarah shook her head.

“No?” Benji asked.

“Benji you didn’t see what I saw… Heather... she hung herself.”

“Your fucking joking right? Heather wouldn’t do shit like that.”

“She did Benji… I saw her, she was hanging from the closet door.”

Benji got real quiet.

Joel had carried heather down the steps of the front porch. He looked up and could hear helicopters up above. And saw a search light shining down, onto Benji’s car.

“Fuck…they know something.” Joel froze there on the steps, not knowing wither to move, wither cops or police force were hiding behind cars across the street or in bushes.

Joel had to get her to the hospital, that was most important.

He made one slight step forward.

“Freeze!” police had guns aimed at Joel. Police were lined up behind cars across the street. And behind Benji’s car.

“Put the girl down on the grass and put your hands up!”

The next few moments were all a blur to Joel. He placed heathers body gently on the cool grass. And backed up, put his hands up.

“She’s dead.” Said Joel, as a cop pushed him up against the wall of the house near the front door. They put his hands behind his back and handcuffed him.

They read Joel his rights.

“Benji…say something.” Said Sarah quietly.
”Why couldn’t… you didn’t have to get so mad at her.”
”Ok so now it’s my fucking fault Benji, don’t blame this all on me.”

“Well sure in hell aint my fault.”

“OH sorry excuse me…..yea I’m Benji ill fuck anything that walks on two legs.”
”I didn’t……have sex with her and you know that.” Benji gritted his teeth. And made a fist in his hands... trying to remain calm.

There odd silence was broken, by police barging into her room ordering them to get on the ground.

They got down on the floor, and were handcuffed. Detectives went into heathers room with bags, and searched her room, picked up her journal, bed sheet, pen.  Opening her drawers, dumping the contents on the bed, searching.

Benji and Sarah were led down the hallway by two cops.

They went outside, Benji saw Heathers body being placed on a stretcher, and loaded into the ambulance.

Sarah broke down in tears. Benji noticed Joel in the police car already, in the back seat, yelling at the driver.

“Can I go see her?” asked Benji.

The cop didn’t answer, just made them get in the car.

The cop car pulled out of the driveway.

“How did we get here?” asked Sarah.

“I don’t know... just yesterday I was hanging out at my house writing lyrics for the next CD.”

“I was hanging out at the house, writing in my poetry book.” Said Sarah.

“And Benji?” asked Joel.

Sarah looked at Joel, “Don’t ask.”

Benji looked out the window, looking at the houses passing by.

“Why …..Why didn’t she listen to me when I told her to hold on?”

“I don’t know dude….I don’t know.”

"Punk band, captures teen, and drives her to suicide.

 Punk twins Benji and Joel madden are being held accountable for the cause of suicide of Heather. A 19 year old teenager from Cleveland Ohio. Along with being charged with giving alcohol to a miner, lying to authorities, and trespassing. Fans

all across the U.S hold true the idea that they were only trying to help heather. Flowers are being

placed at the front porch of her home. Funeral services will be this weekend. Good Charlotte was going to plan

to perform "Hold On." For her friends, but now they are being held in jail. As part of there community service

Benji and Joel plan to make a public service announcement about suicide."

Hold On (“Pittsburgh’s story ending song”)

This world
This world is cold
But you don't
You don't have to go
You're feeling sad, you're feeling lonely, and no one seems to care
You're mother's gone and your father hits you
This pain you cannot bear

But we all bleed the same way as you do
And we all have the same things to go through

Hold on if you feel like letting go
Hold on it gets better than you know

Your days
You say they're way too long
And your nights
You can't sleep at all
Hold on
And you're not sure what you're waiting for, but you don't want to no more
And you're not sure what you're looking for, but you don't want to no more

But we all bleed the same way as you do
And we all have the same things to go through

Hold on if you feel like letting go
Hold on it gets better than you know
Don't stop looking, you're one step closer
Don't stop searching, it's not over
Hold on

What are you looking for?
What are you waiting for?
Do you know what you're doing to me?
Go ahead...What are you waiting for?

Hold on if you feel like letting go
Hold on it gets better than you know
Don't stop looking, you're one step closer
Don't stop searching, it's not over
Hold on if you feel like letting go
Hold on it gets better than you know
Hold on