Between Us

I know again…the story of my life…that it’s been awhile since I updated the website. As you’ve heard before, I’ll say again, I’ve been busy….doing what you ask, well let’s see….

SCHOOL – as if that’s a surprise to any of you, :wink:but I am almost done. I’m in the home stretch and simply can’t wait for December 20th! That is the last day to complete assignments and turn them. I will wake up on the 21st so very relieved!!!

I have a new sister-in-law.  Will's middle brother, Andy, has finally said "I do" to a beautiful girl, Meagan!  She already has been a great addition to the family!

Alyssa and I just completed our Girls on the Run 5k and we both had fun…although she finished before me and well, I was really sore after and she wasn’t, but we won’t mention that! 12 long weeks of lessons, crazy work schedules, lack of sleep, all led to one great moment….finishing with (well, sort of with) my precious Alyssa! It was ALL WORTH IT!

I have to admit that there is a part of me that’s a little shocked by how “merry” I am this holiday season. It’s been a tough year in so many ways, YET I am happier this season than in years prior! It could be that the 20th is really close to Christmas and I’m really excited about that, but I think it’s just that God has answered some really hard prayers for me. HE has replaced hurts, fears, and worries, with simply joy and peace!

I’m sure that at least one of you can relate, but over the past few months, I have found it really difficult to pray – not for others – but for myself…to pray and really believe that God will answer MY prayers. Don’t get me wrong, I completely believe in the power of prayer, wholeheartedly! But, isn’t easier to believe that God will work miracles in other people’s lives, but not your own?

I’m still healing from our loss this summer, BUT God is good and faithful! (No, we’re not expecting again – not that we know of anyway.) But to look over the past 6 months and to see not only where I’ve been, in the depths of hurt, but also to see the joy that lies ahead. I don’t cry as much, I’m not questioning why, I’m not even angry! I’ve moved on, God has healed the loss and I am forever grateful. I am however (I have to admit) that I have been slightly jealous – ok, maybe more than slightly- with all the beautiful pregnant bellies around me. So many close friends who have found out they were expecting after my loss are now showing more than ever…they’re beautiful. And until today, I’ve been jealous! They have all been a reminder of where I “should” be, of what I “should” look like now. After all, my due date is right around the corner, too!

So why am I better today? My God is good and has answered even the deepest cries of my heart. Through the pain and jealousy, all I’ve wanted was to be genuinely happy for each and every one of them. Today, I received news that another person is expecting and for the first time, I smiled…for the first time, I didn’t struggle to say congratulations and mean it. For the first time, I have HOPE and JOY and PEACE in my heart again! I am grateful!

Because there’s a few of you who are expecting a precious bundle of joy reading this, please accept my apologies for just now really becoming excited for you! I love you and have been praying for you (I really have been) and am so happy to have you in my life! It is this very moment that I have been struggling to reach for quite awhile and I am celebrating it today!

Ok, this has turned out to be longer than I wanted and so for those of you still reading, I didn’t mean for this to be so long or to even sound a little sad! This CHRISTMAS season is going to be amazing and is already off to a great start! I have much to be thankful for and am literally counting my blessings and you’re all included!