Deep in the heart of Lochgoilhead forrest Lives One of the rarest but most dangerous creatures in the world. The drop bear has the largest mouth of any mammal. It also has a 20ft long tongue and very sharp teeth. The teeth quite often cut off the tongue. It is called the dropbear because it lives in the trees but the weight of its mouth causes it to drop. It gets back up to the trees by farting.
The Drop bears enemy is the oompa loompa which carries the most dangerous piece of cutlery, the Spoon! I do not know a lot about oompa loompa but i shall tell you a story about these two wonderful creatures.
Bill Oddie the 2nd was doing his wildlife programe about a rare form of bird when he spotted a single drop bear. Bill made the mistake of thinking that drop bears lived alone. He moved closer to the creature but was suddenly surrounded by a pack of drop bears closed in and began biting him. Suddenly Bill heard the song of songs; Oompa Loompa Etc. a hundred oompa loompas came with their spoons and started attacking the drop bears.
No oompa Loompas or Bill oddie survived.
