From The Depths

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Search the pages to find info on me, my writing, my artwork, running, eating disorders and photos.

 

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This site is continually under construction, so check back often for new updates!

Last Update: March 20, 2008

(still in the process of updating all pages)

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January 4, 2006 --
I'm still struggling to even maintain at a given calorie level. Most days, I get somewhere around the 500 mark. If it's a good day.  I am currently 5 lbs. below my weight from a year ago, before going into treatment. And yet-- for the most part, I don't think about it. It's not that I don't care that I've lost, but I'm not going to sit here and say that it upsets me. I'm actually quite happy with it. :)  No-- it doesn't mean that I've thrown the idea of recovery out the window,  but I'm also not going to pretend I'm in a better place (both mentally and physically) than I really am.  This is me. This is my life. Deal with it. I do. :)

Photo project update: Alyssa Schukar, a photojournalist from here in Nebraska asked me to be part of her photo project/documentary on eating disorders and body image in America. She spent several months capturing my life on film-- the good, bad, and yes-- downright ugly. She even drove the 800 miles to Canada to be there my first couple of days of treatment. The final project is yet to be decided, but you can see a small bit of the "work-in-progress" via her website. (click on the second photo to open the link).Some photos may be a bit graphic for some. Don't say I didn't warn you.

November 2006

December is almost here and things aren't going quite as well as when I last posted an update, shortly after returning home in July. I'm doing ok-- but everyday is still a fight. The thoughts have changed a bit, and aren't quite as negative or eating disordered as they previously were, but I quit maintaining both weight and any sort of food plan months ago. Not intentionally, however, which makes all the difference. At least in my head. (Others disagree).

Just here, making it through one day and then the next......

The date on this photo should read 2006, not 2005. (eyebrow ring and nose piercing were done this year while in Canada) I forgot to reset the date when I changed batteries.

July 2006

After spending 6 months inpatient at Westwind Eating Disorder Recovery Centre in Manitoba, Canada, I am finally back at home. I can't say that I'm 100% "recovered", as I don't necessarily think it is entirely possible. It is something I'm always going to have to deal with, just hopefully to a much lesser degree than I have the last 17 years. But I will be forever grateful to the staff at Westwind, for never giving up on me.

 

 

Secondary photo page with pics of me. I will try to update as often as possible. Or just as often as I remember to!

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