For The Love of Jacob
My son’s name is Jacob. He is thirteen years old. Jacob loves the computer, his pool in the back yard, his tire swing in the basement, and to run through the house for tickles. Jacob is not like most teen -aged boys. Jacob has autism.
I just read the story in Guideposts about a boy named Joel and his friend Mohamed. Jacob also is having many more tantrums since he has been going through puberty. He has a hard time going to sleep at night. He still goes to school. He is in the seventh grade in an autistic support class room at a local middle school. Jacob is included in some things with his typical peers. His behaviors inhibit him from doing too many things with the children, but he really tries. He doesn’t know how to always communicate with the children but he likes being with them.
Jacob has two beds in his room. He doesn’t sleep on either of them. Every night, Jacob ends up sleeping on the couch in the living room. He is 5”5” tall and weighs over 170 pounds. I don’t see how he is comfortable on the sofa, but he insists upon sleeping there. He is afraid of the dark and of thunderstorms.
I have a little dog who is part poodle and part maltese. Jacob did not seem to see any purpose for Annie for a long time. Now he will throw a toy for her and sometimes will entice her to crawl on him and lick his face. I had Jacob evaluated once to have a service dog. I was told that he is an excellent candidate. The problem is that Jacob is also an asthmatic boy. He can not have a Labrador or a German Shepherd dog, which most of the agencies use. Jacob needs a standard poodle. I have only found one agency who will train poodles to work with the children. The director got ill and felt she could not take on Jacob. I found a trainer once who wanted to help me to try- but he left his position and that agency said that they can not train a standard poodle for Jacob. I found an agency today and I was so excited. It is called North Star. They don't want my son as a client because of my spinal injuries and surgeries.
God has made many miracles for our son- including our son himself. Jacob learned to talk at over four years old. We found out that he is an intelligent boy. We had worked long and hard with Jacob using PECS (Picture Exchange Communication System), folder activities, speech therapists and occupational therapists. I will never forget what happened that Thursday afternoon as Jacob sat on the floor with his therapist and me practicing matching his color words to his colors. All at once my beautiful son held each card to his mouth and said the name for each color and number. By the end of the week-end he was counting from one to ten and from ten down to one. We had a wonderful behavior specialist at the time. She said that she was not especially a religious person, but that she had never seen an autistic child go from no speech to speech over night. She said that she had witnessed a miracle.
Our Jacob is a sweet and loving child. For all of his issues, he is also funny- he has an excellent sense of humor. He likes to be hugged and touched. When I ask him for a kiss, he will lean his forehead in to me so I can kiss it. When he calls me Mommy or Mom, it melts my heart.
I remember when he was a little boy, I had seen a story of an autistic boy who had taken a specific medication which had seemed to reverse his autistic symptoms. I cried when I watched the boy on the film say “good night Mom” and “good night Dad”. I prayed that one day my son would say good night or even call me Mom. I think of it every night as he says “good night Mom”.
My daughter Kate, who is 2 years older than Jacob, used to cry and say “my brother doesn’t talk to me.” Now he is always asking her to put songs on to his MP3 player. He loves Josh Turner and Carrie Underwood. I think that SHeDAISY- any of their CD’s and especially their Christmas album are his favorites.
I have had a lot of surgery this year. I could not take him to Sunday school on this Easter Sunday. He kept asking to go. Finally he said “Mom is sick.” It broke my heart. We are lucky though, that our church has a special needs Sunday school class. I don’t really believe it is luck. It is just one more answer to our prayers.
I don’t know what to expect from Jacob’s future. Since I am 37 years older than he is, I know that I will some day have to designate a place for him when I can no longer care for Jacob. I can’t even bear the thought.
At thirteen years old, we still have a long way to go with Jacob, especially developmentally. His social skills are really lacking. He does not have a lot of awareness of safety issues. He has already opened the car door while the van was moving.
I would love to be able to find a friend for Jacob like Joel did in the Guideposts story. I would really like to find someone who would train a poodle as a service dog for my son, both for social purposes and safety. It would be so nice for Jacob to be able to bond with a dog who could sleep next to him and become his best friend.
Please, I ask for prayer for Jacob. I know that he is in God’s hands. “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11 NLT).
My husband, my daughter, and myself hold out the hopes that we will be able to find the things we need for Jacob, and that God will put the right people in our path to help him.
I worry about how to care for Jacob many times. But I could not have asked God for a more perfect child.
Laurie Howard