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Player Profiles

			Full Name	James Taylor
			Nickname	Ace
			D.O.B	15^th April 1977
			Occupation	Gardener
			Height	5ft 8”
			Weight	Fitness fanatic
			Description	James is an energetic young lad & the engine in midfield
Ace is the T total member of the Northbridge team although he was pretty hammered at Jimmers birthday outing the other night. He will always stick up for you on the field and against opposition, for instance when Jon injured his leg he was the first one to give the opponents abuse and get sent off. If you ever need any plants growing or gardening done, then Ace is your man. Also Ace can often be heard shouting “Bradley” when playing for Northbridge!!!!
	Full Name	Jon Taylor
	Nickname	Bum
	D.O.B	18th May 1981
	Occupation	Trainee Electrician
	Height	5ft
	Weight	10 Stone
	Description	Jon is very quiet until he has a few drinks & then becomes a monster.
Bum as he is known to his friends claims to be the king of Mario Kart. The fact he always finishes last and only ever wins when his mates are drunk is another thing all together. Unfortunately he has left us now to sign on for our biggest rivals. Jon thinks he is a hard man and will often try picking fights with innocent passers by, so it is best to avoid him at weekends. He often likes food challenges as well and it was no disgrace coming second to me in the foul sauce challenge one Christmas.

Full Name

Dave Bradbeer

Nickname

Chip

D.O.B

23^rd April 1983

Occupation

Plumber

Height

4ft

Weight

15 Stone Muscle

Description

Dave is a funny guy & a showboating defender/midfielder

Chip is a good lad who likes to take the piss out of everyone, even though he did not want to come on holiday because he cannot handle his drink. If you ever have a leak or anything and need a plumber then do not call him as he will be too busy reading a paper or shopping to lend a hand. He will often come out on a Friday or Saturday night just to look at womens breasts in a nightclub. Chip has just currently moved out of home with his girlfriend so it is unlikely we will see him again at weekends!!!!

	Full Name	Matthew Bonfield
	Nickname	Bonner
	D.O.B	12th June 1980
	Occupation	Contracts (MoD)
	Height	5ft 8”
	Weight	12 Stone of Unfitness
	Description	Matthew is an opinionated person & the Manager of Northbridge
Mr Bonfield when drunk goes from a friendly young man to the most competitive all round sporting great in Trowbridge who can beat anyone at any sport. He also does not respond well to drink and can often be seen crawling around the dance floor of a night club and exposing himself. He also likes to think of himself as a Brad Pitt look-alike. Next time you see Bonner out it may be worth mentioning an incident in the Assam for our Northbirdge meal last Christmas when one of the workers took the mickey out of him for spilling his drink and ask him what his response was!!!

	Full Name	Chris Vaughan
	Nickname	Vaughany
	D.O.B	Not known, found floating down the canal in a basket
	Occupation	Puts together flat packs from IKEA (Carpenter)
	Height	5ft 8”
	Weight	Very Muscular with Man Breasts
	Description	Chris is a very quiet lad and is a battling midfielder.
Currently serving a 3 month ban for fighting with a spectator, Chris (along with Ian) are the only 2 players in the team to have had a caution while on a Northbridge outing. He likes to have a debate every weekend about anything, especially when it comes to music. Vaughany can be found at weekends propping up the bar at the Snooker Club or telling any women you try to pull that you are either gay, have a girlfriend or a very small penis.

Full Name

Darren Cullen

Nickname

Cullen, Ginger

D.O.B

31^st October 1979

Occupation

Avionics (RAF Brize Norton)

Height

6ft 2“

Weight

Andy Fordham like

Description

Darren is the idiot of the team and a versatile defender.

The one player in the team to be cautious of is Mr Cullen. If he ever finds out your mothers names he is likely to crack jokes about her in the pub after the game, continuously!! He is always the centre of attention in the changing room with his stupid jokes & pointless conversations. If betting on Northbridge was legal then he would be odds on favourite to win Bezinda every week. He can often be heard on the pitch gloating about his little tricks to beat an oncoming attacker then losing it to the next one and the team conceding a goal.

	Full Name	Gareth Colebrooke
	Nickname	Goine
	D.O.B	25^th October 1979
	Occupation	Civil Servant and part time undercover porn director
	Height	5ft 9”
	Weight	He would tell you he has the build of Brad Pitt in Fight Club but built more like Mr Muscle
	Description	Uses his pace to create and score goals upfront.
Nuff Tuff gym boy. Gareth has a penchant for relentlessly chatting up the fairer sex and his directness and abundance of self confidence normally gets him results, although ladies should be careful about what they get up to in his room as who knows whose watching, hey Goine?! In his mind he is as good if not better than Diego Maradonna, unfortunately on the pitch and to the rest of us he plays more like Diego the Donkey, although his quick dancing feet helps set up a lot of goals. Goine likes to make ridiculous statements, one of these we’ve all heard time and time again, the “I’m giving up drinking for 3 months, seriously this time mate” statement. A week later Goine can be found shit faced in the Snooker Club chatting up some bit of skirt and verbally abusing players from a different team. In the morning he will claim that he can’t remember any such wrong doing. Probably shouldn’t drink with our trusted centre back Stuart Greenwood, the last time this happened Goine puked on his carpet and then ran away from his own house. It turns out he managed to get himself banned from Alpha Taxi, Tale of Spice and an ex girl class mates house, this all happened before 9pm. He is now loved up and claims to be more mature so his appearances on the lash are few and far between.

Full Name

Stuart Greenwood

Nickname

Greener, Robot

D.O.B

6^th March 1981

Occupation

Accountant

Height

6ft 2”

Weight

Massively Over!!!!!

Description

Stuart is a laid back character and a rock in the centre of defence

He comes across as a laid back character, very friendly and an intelligent lad. The truth is that he is just a big an idiot as the rest of the team when drunk. An example of this is when he ripped a bin out of the concrete and tried to put it into a Tesco trolley. He will often use when out his famous chat up line “I have been back packing to Australia” to try and fascinate the ladies. Greener likes to think he is the biggest drinker in the team and is always up for a drinking challenge. Definitely not advisable to take him on as you will end up being sick or not remembering a thing about your night out.

	Full Name	Ian Huntley
	Nickname	Hardcore
	D.O.B	6^th September 1980
	Occupation	Shift Worker (Apetito)
	Height	4ft
	Weight	3 Stone
	Description	Ian is a quiet man these days & creative midfielder/centre forward
His most famous incident was with Chris when they were at the train station throwing punches at anyone who was associated with Blue Circle!! Ian can also be seen doing lengths naked in the Roman Baths after a night out at Cadilacs. Ian is a very likeable figure who will take time to get to know you and specific members of your family and is a big fan of Adult Entertainment.