I listen to the voices of,
My freindly enemys friends
While insulted and mocked
And left alone in a pool of blood

My body does not bleed nor weep,
My soul is butchered by their laughing
I watch their childish games
As I slowly melt into the world

 ~~~~~~~~~

Somber grey skies
Bleed into tears from above.
And dead eyed drones
Push past me, walking on

They never see the tears
Of the few they do hurt.
They never see the tears.
I can not cry. They only see their devils,

The one they must kill
The one who is strange.
One who is different.
I watch while others shuffle blindly

Leading one another, no one seeing
I can see the people,
Running, laughing,
As if in glass, seperated from me.

~~~

Home is where I should be, so why am I here?

Why am I walking the streets in night's darkness

Searching for the answers to questions I can't remember?

I don't know anymore.

~~~~

Take this venom from my veins,

Leave me now how I once was

I don't want to be this angry shell,

this husk of humanity that no longer cares if I hurt you

It is not me!

Or it wasn't, but

my hate and hurt

Now rule over my care.

I don't like who I am but,

you can't stand who I'm not.

Alone in the world I sit
I listen to the laughing
Of my fellow captives
While they while their lives away

I sit in the dark
Surrounded by light,
Dying while others live,
Weeping while overs laugh

I watch and listen,
A stranger in a familiar land
While fools and soldiers fight,
I sit and watch

I long for understanding
Is there any peace in this world?
Where I suffer at the hands of my friends
and my friends enemys are my friends

~~~

I lie in my room,
Thinking, listening, wishing,
While music jars the silence,
I dream of leaving

A place where love
Never existed
And loneliness
Is the disease that spreads

Like blood on the flag of mercy,
Or pages of a peace treaty,
And no one sees
While souls slowly die

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Light up the fires and bring out the razor,
Slash my wrists and throw me on the pyre,
You may as well for all that you have done,
Save me the job and take your sick comfort.

You can't know how much I hate you for this,
All the pain you've caused and grief I endure,
Rancour undescribable, pity unknown and unsaid,
All this together mixed to form what you call a life.

I call it survival, living through death and anguish,
Stopping my breath to save your own skin or life
Pushing me under again and again, over and over,
Never stopping until I finally do, and just stay there,
Gone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My sorrow blooms like a black rose,
My blood dripping from thorns of pain.
Fear nourishes this poison flower,
Giving it so much more life.

I wish I could pull this beautiful weed
From the darkness in which it is rooted
But you can't cut out part of your own soul,
Unless you feel absolutly everything.

~~~

Blank eyes stare out
Looking all around and seeing,
Nothing.
Empty apathy rules and all is lost
We no longer care for those in need
Who cares if you help?
It won't make a difference.
So we don't and no one does
How easy it is to rely
On the strangeness of strangers
As the perfect excuse
To no longer care.

My Life flashes before my eyes
My breath is a rasping drone
I am blind, for my eyes have been ambushed by tears
My voice comes out as a choking gasp.
And you? What do you do?
You stand there over me
Laughing and laughing, over and over
Until eventually my sobbing stops along with my breath
Everything is silent, everything is black
My life has ended, snuffed out like a candle flame

~~~

I sense your presence
Ready to torment me again
You come to me night after night
Watching me
Torturing me
Killing me...
The caress of your icy fingertips
The feel of your callous lips
The intence gaze of your spiritless stare
You make my head swim with thoughts
You make it hard to breathe.
No! I must fight!
Fighting with my inner demons
I begin to gain strength
I look you dead in the eye
And show that you can't hurt me anymore
Your eyes widen, your breath comes out in panicked gasps
You realise that you've lost
And flee into the starless night.

I stand here alone in all this darkness,
Surrounded by the black bleak dread.
Pain so sharp it could slit my wrists,
Anger and fury so cold it could freeze my blood.

I silently scream at myself, wishing I could leave
Hatred boils inside me, hatred for myself.
None for others. Why can't I hate you?
I suppose you're not worth it.

But I so want to, I still stop myself.
I'm still here in this cold painful harsh world,
My obsidian soul bleached,
Or my icy pure soul smeared?
I'll never really know, will I?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I died.
I died killing you,
Why are you still here?
You should be gone now, you're dead.
Just like me, but I died killing my greatest enemy,
You.
So how can you still be here
When I killed you....
I died

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Grieving clouds spill miss-spent tears,
And the wind keens for my soul.
Which is now shattered at your feet,
As you slowly crush the shards.

The curtain of death pulls across the divide,
Breaching the gap we made, with grief.
Grief for ourselves, grief for other,
Grief for the masses and for a single lost soul.

We remember them, us that can not die.
But we can not live either.
So we remember, living through memories
And existing in the past.

~~~

She wore the dress to the feast and dance.
While the torches blazed and the lutes sang out,
charged meldoy and heated dancing.
We were happy when young, flower chains and apples
and days in the fields. No words of passion, or love
just friends and sunlight.
We did not understand the worlds darkness.
I saw her with him at the dance, half touches in the shadows
The velvet of her dress catching shimmering light.
I was busy, didn't watch, couldn't really see....
They found her in the lake that morning,
water embracing her closer than any man.
Her dress floated up like a nymph,
Dear sister, do the spirits sing to you now?
Opeliah sing thee to thy rest, and Anubis guide your boat.

Once when the starless night was cold,
And the bitter wind whispered tales of old,
A lone figure walked a moon lit beach,
Stepping into the sea to fill the breach.
They found her body the next day,
Floating, lifeless, on the spray.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A never ending meldoy of thoughts
Carousel around my mind,
Like a twisted nightmare dance
That has to be completed.

No music, no sound, not a note in the air
But they still race and dash against my skull
Haunting my nights and corrupting my day,
Evermore,
Evermore?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Angels sit with clipped wings
In the dark corners of some archaic libary
Wolves run on their own
No pack to find safety in
No home that can be whole
Few others are in the same forest
Never stop running!