Some Pocket of My Mind

Working on several things at one time. Don't know which book I'm going to commit to yet!

Monday, April 14, 2008 - 4:07 P.M.

Basically, I'm working on the 3rd(final) draft of my first book. I've already sent it off to Penguin Publishing, well, the first ten pages with a query letter. Since I am way past the first ten pages for editing, I figured I'd go a head and send it to see if they'll publish it. Besides, I have a 2 to 3 month wait. Plenty of time to get the editing done. It won't even take me month.

Yet, I am in the middle of several things, so I won't get it done as fast as I planned.

Speaking of which, here's a portion of one of the projects I'm working on. My friends are putting together a Magic and Art show at a local coffee shop. I was asked to help with the art part of it. He's going to be paitniong on a canvas while videos and music will be playing. The videos will be projected onto the canvas while he paints. He's going to wear white clothes, paint himself white and paint with white paint that will reveal its true colors under a blacklight.

We worked together in putting the songs he chose in an order, and then I was given the task of putting together some videos for some of them. As of now, I've finished two videos. Here is one:

The Anime is called Eureka Seven. Eureka is the girl which the video revolves around and Renton is the guy who is protecting and supporting her. I thought I was going to use a lot more footage from several different episodes. By the by, this anime has 50 episodes. However, for the theme behind the song, Of Dust and Nations, I thought of the flashback of this particular episode, and then used the story around the flashback to put together a story line for this video.
I want people to pay close attention to Eureka's expressions in this video. They trigger the changes of scenes and foreshadow scenes to come as well.
When I got all the footage I wanted from that episode and started working things around, I found out that I had all I needed, and there was no need to embellish the story. I figured the simpler the better, and the story is pretty simple to follow.
This is just the video and music by itself, but those of you in Hattiesburg, come to Java Werks this Saturday, April 19th, around 7 pm. The show will kick off then and you'll get the whole experience!

1st Draft: March 3, 2008 -

When we blame the end of the world on all these strange new visitors...but they've just come to celebrate.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008 - 2:45 P.M.

I bought an anthology of unfinished comic books with naked women in them, written by Japanese artists. But don't tell anybody, okay?

Last weekend, my buddy John and I went down to the coast on a mission. To get a bus. Not just any bus. A school bus. But not just any school bus. A double decker school bus. Yet, not just any double decker school bus. It had paintings all over the outside. Yes, it was a hippi bus.

We have a friend who lives down on the coast, so we set up camp at his place. The bus we were after, given to John by his hippi friends, hadn't moved from where it sat for a couple of years. There was no garentee it would even crank. Before we drove over there to get it, John  kept getting good news and bad news about the bus from the guy who was giving it to him. After a little bit of debating, we pushed all doubt aside and decided to go for it. We were rewarded for our bravery.

We got there, freaked out about how cool it looked, and then got to work into getting it running. But first, let me show you a picture I took of these pennies that were grouped up together beside the bus.

Okay, now, here's the bus:

I'm standing at the front beside the driver seat, looking toward the back. Yes, those are bunkbeds and a table to the side.

Walking on down, to the left, there's this bathroom...closet...kind of thing. It's weird, but, above the toilet there's two knobs, one for cold, one for hot, and above that is the shower...um, spout?

Standing between the first two bunkbeds, looking at the front.

A sink...after the bathroom closet.

The back of the bus. More bunk beds and...stuff...everywhere.

The table up front. Someone left their stuff.

Ah, the outside. Told you it was painted. The guy with the hat at the top is Jason, who lives on the coast.

You can kind of see John.

Remember those eyes you saw in one of the previous pictures? If they were down here, you'd get the whole face.

Our friend, Tommy, who is good with vehicles. He's the one who got the bus started. Haha! We had to go buy a new battery.

The other side of the bus.

The back. Not a very good picture, but oh well.

John trying to figure things out.

Clutter in the shelves above the bunk beds. There's no telling what you'd find up there.

The saying grabbed my attention. Gonna have to look that up sometime.

John getting ready for lift off.

We had tro climb a ladder on the side of the bus to get to the upper floor. Looking back at these pictures, it seems like the space up there is normal size, but the pictures with John crunched down reminded shows how short things are. Haha!












There were some things wrritten on the walls. Some of them I could read, some of them I couldn't.

John climbing down, telling me to "Be careful."

The storage unit room in the back of the bus.

Oh yeah, there was a stove right across from the sink inside.

Like I said, we got it started and made it down the highway to a truck stop. We wanted to get somethingto eat. By the time we got finished, it was getting dark and John didn't want to drive the bus at night. Not everything about the bus worked right, ya know. I managed to get this shot just as an experiement, and it turned out cool. Especially with that goofy smile on his face.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008 - 3:17 P.M.

This is a good starting point to express the feeling, size, and depth of my new project. Ambiguous, I know, but I'll explain more in the Inspiration section of this page:

                             

1st Draft: December 30, 2007 - February 28, 2008(On Hold.)

Going after the dead? Things aren't what they seem...to anybody.

Thursday, February 28, 2008 - 4:40 P.M.

Decisions. Decisions. Decisions. I'm the worst because I'm so freaking indecisive, but I think I have enough signs pointing me in a certain direction that I'm gonna take the hint and just say "Yes! I'll do that!"

Here it is, almost two months into my current book, and I've almost made it a third of the way through.

I can blame my slow progress on a lot of things: mostly trying to clutter myself with work, wanting to get several things done at the same time, but thankfully, things have worked out to where I've had no choice but to dwindle things down to the highest priorities. I heard someone say that if you don't make decisions someone will make them for you. I'm just glad it was painless for me. Besides, with the time given, the short story idea I had has grown into a novel sized idea. And I'm really excited about it.

Sometimes you don't always see the signs when they hit, but after looking around and thinking over why I feel about certain things I do, you know, instinct, I think I've come to a conclusion about what to do with myself.

During the process of writing my second book, I was also working on a novella. I was excited about writing it, but I knew I had to do one thing at a time and finish my novel first.

Well, now that certain things have come to my attention, I'm going to put down the current novel I'm working on and pick up the one that I'm still excited about.

I would go into detail about all the feelings and emotions that coaxed me into doing this, but that might take a while. To make a long story short, I haven't spent a lot of time with this book(my own fault) and I don't know enough about the setting. I based the book in Philly, PA, and even though I looked at a bunch of pictures and listened to my friend describe it as he went there a few weeks ago, all that research burnt me out. Also, the current scene I'm working on now I've had to rewrite and replan, and that was frustrating. So, I'm going to go the more easy way, with a story that I don't have to do any research at all. The setting is entirely fictional. It might not even have a name, because it doesn't matter. A good portion of the book has already been written. That just gives me the time to focus on the finished novel. Someone is reading it right now and when they finish, I'll work on the third draft.

So, here's another unfinished novel that I'll put in the archives. I'll finish them one day. At least I'll have something done on them when I go back to them. Until then, I'll just follow my instinct.

Monday, February 18, 2008 - 1:35 P.M.

I think I'm in between introverted and extroverted. Trying to figure that out is probably a waste of time, I mean, you just have to live the best you can. Don't try to look for your flaws or you'll make yourself feel worse and worse about yourself. The idea is to focus on your merits. You'll learn about your flaws just by living. You live and learn. You're not perfect so that means you'll screw up. At those times your flaws are right out in the open...well, most of the time.

My whole deal is hoping other people will understand. For a while, I always thought that I was the only one suffering from the problems I was going through; that everyone else had everything figured out for themselves. I eventually woke up and got out of that.

But that doesn't mean I fall into other pot holes called doubt.

I have my own fears, my own worries about my life, and even though I know for a fact so does everyone else, I find myself questioning if people can take the hint from me not just coming right out and saying what my worries are. People can sense things because they can relate...because they're human beings as well.

I had another heart to heart conversation with my mom today. It wasn't planned. It just happened, which those kind are usually the best. I didn't get to say all that I wanted to say, but a lot was covered and I feel she understands where I stand with my current standing in life. (How many times did I say 'stand'?)

I won't go into detail about my current standing, because that would take forever, but after having that conversation with her, I have been reminded that people actually can relate and do understand. Maybe they don't know what to say or don't how to approach someone, but whatever the case, if I had a meter that showed how much maturity I've gained in life, I feel like some more was added to that meter. Yeah, that sounds silly and I know that the so called meter will fluctuate because, hey, nobody's perfect, but for now, I'll relish in the good feeling of getting several points across to another fellow human being.

By the way, she explained to me her standings as well, and I understood, so there was equality in the conversation. I’d love it if everyone could understand everyone, but I’m reminded about the quote from a character in the Anime I watched where he says, "But people don’t understand themselves, and they’re only fooling themselves if they think otherwise."

But that just makes me feel even better, because we’re all in the same boat. So, that 6^th sense that someone is having problems that someone might be able to relate to, it's there. It just isn’t always easy for people to use it, and many people aren’t even trying to use it.

But that’s alright. I try to be mindful of things. I hope that makes my standings with people that much better.

Thursday, February 14, 2008 - 6:01 P.M.

Let me tell you what I have on the table:

I have plenty of writing to keep me busy. First of all, and most important, is my novel. I'm steadily plugging away at it at a slower pace than I'd intended, and I'm sure I won't finish it on the date I set. I switched over from typing it up on the computer to writing it out long hand in a notebook. I like that better for that, because I don't have to be sitting in front of my computer to write on it. I can be anywhere I want. Besides, I feel like I'm being submerged in it more so when writing it by hand.

Secondly, and several things fall under this category, and that's only because I'm unsure about the deadlines.

One is a novella I'm working on. Yes, I'm working on it while working on my novel, but I can't help myself. There is a need to work on it and I can't ignore that. If the drive is there, take full advantage of it.

Another is perhaps two short stories. One is Fantasy based. The other is Horror based. I wanted to submit them to the Fantastic Horizons and Dark Horizons anthologies, but there was a big change with deadlines and all that, but the drive is there, and like I said before.....

In addition to all this is the daily writing I do for this web page. Most of it goes to the Hattiesburg Music Scene page, so I have to keep my night life and stay on the up and up. The other thing I'm struggling with is an article for the local newspaper. There have been problems with it and I've got someone waiting in line. I hate it!

But, at the same time, as a writer, I'm so freaking excited that I'm bombarded with stories to write. It definitely beats having writer's block.

Tuesday, February 12, 3008 - 6:54 P.M.

Got a story to tell you that's both funny and...well, what's the best word? Sad isn't what I'm looking for. Not disturbing. Maybe painful. Yeah, I'll go with painful.

I was making a delivery to a military base today. I waited outside one of the barracks while the soldier was signing a credit card receipt inside. There was another soldier standing beside me taking a smoke break. He turned to me and asked, "You wanna see something funny?" He indicated his cell phone when he asked this. I said, "Sure." and he showed me this video:

There was a girl sitting at a computer, I think, in the right hand bottom corner of the screen. She wasn't paying attention to the person holding the camera. All of the sudden, this dude jumps in from the left of the screen and breaks out in this dorky dance jig and starts singing. With the quality of the video, I couldn' understand a word he was saying. All I heard was this loud distorted wailing and then a blur goes across the screen, which was his hand coming around and smacking the chick on the side of the head.

As soon as I saw this, I doubled over with a weeze that shifted into a gasping laughter. I couldn't help myself. Especially when you heard the smack so loud and clear. "WACK!" The chick replied with "OAGH!" and disappeared off screen, and that was the end of the video.

From what I gathered, the dude obviously knew the chick, so I figured that was just a joke between friends, but wow, did it hurt. You should've heard how freaking loud that smack was. No doubt she was mad after that.

Sunday, February 10, 2008 - 5:35 P.M.

Gotta tell you about an interview I did with a local band called Goodnight Apathy. They have a webpage and they posted my the interview on there. Check it out:

http://sonicbids.com/epk/epk.asp?epk_id=105797

If that link brings you to their main page, click on the Press icon near the top. My interview with them is the first one.

Saturday, February 9, 2008 - 5:30 P.M.

Yesterday, I had a day off from work. I planned to sit down and do some hardcore writing on my novel, which I haven't named yet. Before I sat down, I had this bright idea. Why don't I go somewhere else to write? The first place that popped in my head was...the beach.

I really wanted a change of scenery. Being a writer, I'm influence by a lot of things...including setting. No, not the setting of my book, but the place where I'm physically sitting down and writing. My room is cool, full of all kinds of things that I can use to get lost in my own little world, but I needed a change. I like beaches. I like water. I like the sun. So, I headed for the beach.

...not until I took care of some things first. The begin, I needed a new tire. I was riding on a do-nut, and I didn't want to take an hour trip to the beach on that. Lucky for me, this convenient place just a few miles away was open and wasn't serving any customers at the time. It was cheap too. #31 and I had a used tired, like new, mounted and everything.

I was going to eat at the restaurant next door, but I chose the worst time to try to go eat...at lunch time. So, I just headed into town, found a place that's cheap and cooks food that is as close to home style as it gets. And there's nothing like a home cooked meal.

After that, I headed straight to the coast.

Once there, I had to prepare myself for writing. I was going to bring my typewriter and park some place along the beach to start writing. However, I couldn't find this cool little adapter thingy that would allow me to plug into my car, and also, with the way the beach is after the Hurricane, there wasn't really a good place to park. So, I parked in the parking lot of the mall that is still standing. I went inside because I wanted to get a cigar to get me in the mood. You know, sitting on the beach with a cigar, scribbling down your thoughts, that's just so cliche and wonderful.

I forgot what kind of cigar I got. The thing about smoking a cigar on the beach is the wind never stops blowing and I had a rough time trying to light the thing, but eventually, it happened. The whole time I attracted a flock of sea gulls. I heard their cries and looked up to see them swarming. Then, they all parked around me and started demanding food. I just took their picture and said I didn't have anything. They didn't seem to understand until after a while of not receiving anything, little by little, they departed.

The beach, despite the devastation, looked great. Or at least thing particular spot did. The sun was up, shining just right. It was around two in the afternoon, by the by. Not a cloud in the sky. I brought a newspaper to sit on. Yeah, that's lame, but hey, whatever works. I opened my notebook and started writing.

I had to keep puffing on my cigar to keep it lit, haha. That wind was rough. Little did I know that I was a chronic puffer on that thing and it hit me harder than I expected. Yeah, I got drunk quick off that one. It hit me so hard that I started to feel sick at my stomach and had to call it quits on the beach. But that just meant it was a good cigar.

There were some cool moments on that beach that sort of corresponded with the scene I was writing. The main character of this scene was sitting at a bar and expecting someone, supposedly an enemy. When he felt thing walking up behind him, I was describing his inner thoughts and how excited he was getting. At some point during this process, a small squadron of F-15 Eagles snuck up on me and soared down the beach. It was beautiful. I just wish I knew about it and had my camera handy.

In the end, I almost finished an entire chapter while down at the beach. I added more when I got in my car and recovered from that awesome cigar. Then, I met up with my friend and hung out.
I took these two pictures of a parking garage or something. I didn't really know what it was. All the lights attracted me. But, the road was so bumpy that I couldn't get a clear shot, but there was a happy accident that I thought was cool in the second shot:

Thursday, February 7, 2008 - 7:51 P.M.

Have you ever woken up one day and, out of the blue, was handed $250?

I think it was Monday, I received a freaking paycheck in the mail. The thing is, it's from a place where I did seasonal work. It wasn't permanent. Also, that happened a couple of years ago. In addition, that place no longer exists in my town. Haha!

The funny thing is, the start date for this pay check was at the end of January...of this year! The end date is a date in the future! The 9th of February! How the crap....?

So, I don't know how to explain this. All I can say is that I probably won't get to keep this money and this is a big tease.

On an optimistic side, I'm hoping this is money that they owed me from back when I worked for them. Maybe something to do with my income tax, and this was the easy way for them to handle it.

If that's the case, I may have a jump start in fronting the money I need to publish the book I mentioned in the previous entry. Yes, it's self published, but I want to go on a trial run just to see what happens. Besides, I'm very proud of the story. So, who knows, I may have gotten this jump start on purpose, meaning I was meant to publish this book. Haha! Here's hoping anyway.

Monday, February 4, 2008 - 4:42 p.m.

I've made a decision. I made a short story into a trilogy, and I believe it's long enough to be considered a novella, or whatever is shorter than that. I forget what you call it. But, it can be a book. I want to get it published, and there is a company that, I think it's where you publish yourself, but hey, it'll get published, and that's who I'm going to do it with.

I guess this is going to be a trial run for me, just to see what happens. I'm confident about the story as a whole. Of course, I'm going to run back through and do some editing and possibly some rewriting. I've already done that with the first short story. The second and third are just in rough draft stages.

The story I'm talking about is the Sustained Series. There was: Sustained Quality, Sustained Promise, and then Sustained Spirit. I'm thinking about changing the names, but I may just change the series name. I'm not sure yet, but I'll give you the details once things are set into motion. Of course, I'm going to have my artistic friend do the cover. I can't wait to see how this turns out!

Sorry I haven't given you much to go on with the Sustained Series. I don't want to give much away yet, but you can read a little about it in the Inspiration section of this web site. I have it listed there, so maybe you can get an idea.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008 - 10:53 A.M.

Bad news. But first, let me start off with the good stuff that will make the bad news even worse.

Yesterday was a good day. One of those good days where almost everything seems to work right, fall into place, the right things are said, the right choices made, you know, one of those days. I love those days, and yet, I badly badly don't want them to end, because in my experience, life has to equal out. That balance must be preserved.

Yesterday was my day off. I woke up when I wanted to, I got a whole scene, from start to finish, completed in my book, I sent off some messages to people who I might do some business with in the near future, and then I went to town. First, I picked up friend from his place and we went to a store that is a health food store with this awesome cafe in the back. Well, the cafe closed earlier than we expected, but a good thing came out of visiting this place after so long. The owner invited us both, with our skills of expression (Writing and Art), to become a part of a project that sounds promising. I won't say anymore on that right now.

After that, we went to eat at our home away from home, the coffee shop. I was able to complete an entry in the Hattiesburg Music Scene on this web page, and I sent messages to all the bands involved. So far, I've got good comments. The rest of the time, my friend and I played these awesome games of chess. I didn't win any, but I certainly put up a good fight. We chatted about things that's been on our minds about getting involved in Hattiesburg's changes and talking about thge changes we've kind of made already.

It was a good day.

Then, it might've been just after twelve, I was watching Anime when someone came to visit me. Man, it seems like the next day was going to start the bad stuff early. Some guys showed up at my door to repossess my car. Yippeee! You know how I make a living? I deliver orders...with my car!

So now, I have no car. I had to come up with some plans to borrow my dad's truck. I had to wake up EARLY and ride with him to his job. Then, I took his truck back home. I got some more writing done on my book, another scene from start to finish, and left for work. Turns out, today is my other day off that I didn't know about. Usually, I have Sundays off, which is nice. Now I get to look forward to working on Sunday morning.

Plus, it's raining outside! Fits the mood. My grandma said that the birds are out feeding while it's raining. That means it's going to rain all day. Yippeeeeeeeeee!

Tuesday, January 15, 2008 - 12:16 P.M.

Good news. I've worked out the job problem. I don't have so many double shifts now. In fact, I only have two days of double shifts this week. I can already feel the weight being lifted. Next week, I won't have any double shifts. I've gotten back on the ball with my writing, and not just my book. Yeah, I've got some catching up to do on that, but I've gotten work done on the Music Scene section of this web site as well.

I also have other projects in the works, and now I have the time to do them. Today and Sundays are my whole days off.

My best time to write, I feel, is during the mornings, but with my work schedule having me work day shifts, I don't get to do that except on my days off. I have been working on changing my routine a bit, going to the coffee house after work to drink coffee and work on the Music Scene on this web site, and then come home to take a shower. After all that, I'm ready to get started on my book.

2008 is all about changes, just like the beginning of every year is. So, I'm willing do to this. Just as long as I get to write. I want to tell my stories.

Thursday, January 10, 2008 - 4:17 P.M.

Since I've started writing my new book, I've been bombarded with...well...my job mostly. I've had to pull these double shifts, and that's basically all freaking day. I get time in between because I'm crafty, but that time is enough for me to go to my favorite coffee house, second home, get on my lap top and check emails and such. As a matter of fact, that's where I am right now.

I haven't gotten to write like I've wanted to where I'm having to get my fix by writing this journal entry, which is good in itself. I even did some writing in the little note pad I bring every where with me. I was starting a new scene in my book.

Just to throw some randomness at you:

I was introduced to an oriental medical aid for your body. Yes, one of those things. They always seem to come up with the coolest, yet weirdest things. This thing, I forgot what it's called, is some sort of pad. Actually, it's a packet with herbs or something inside. You lay this packet on a pad that you stick to your body. I was told the best place to do it is on the bottom of your foot. So, I did.

What this pad is supposed to do is suck the toxins from your body. Only a few seconds after I put this thing on, I literally felt this stuff sucking on the bottom of my foot! I put this thing on before I went to bed. I was reading a book before I went to sleep, and the whole time my mind kept drifting to the suction on my foot.

The next morning, I got up, went to the bathroom and peeled the thing off. Guess what I found. On the pad, there was this muddy substance. I could feel it even before I took the pad off, like I was stepping in some sloppy mud puddle. It was even this dark dark dark brownish color. I threw it away and took a shower.

Maybe I felt better. Maybe it takes more than once to make you feel like a new person. I'm gonna do it again tonight just to see what happens tomorrow.

Wednesday, January 9, 2008 - 4:04 P.M.

Yo, I was told about a review of the Darkened Horizons issue my short story was published in. The review came from a Horror based web site that does reviews on mags, books, and other things Horror related. The name of the site is HorrorWorld, which you can reach at www.horrorworld.org.

Here is the review:

DARKENED HORIZONS MAGAZINE
Review by David Simms

Anytime a new magazine launches into the world of dark fiction, it’s cause to celebrate. Darkened Horizons is presented in book/digest form, which looks great. It features a ton of unknown authors with quirky stories that evoke many emotions, even laughter (I’ll let you figure out which story that one might be).

I can only hope that other new publications can be as bold and enterprising as Darkened Horizons. In a world where horror mags are dropping like dead birds from a poisoned sky, events such as this should be heralded.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008 - 4:45 P.M.

Happy Freaking New Year!!!!

Let me tell you, after all the celebrating I did, I had a couple of crazy dreams on the morning of the first of 2008. The first dream was the longest, and although I don't remember much about it, I do remember the gist of it.

It's funny, because it involved the lead singer of the biggest band in my hometown, and I'm friends with all the members. In this dream, there was a tone of people at this three story hotel out in the country. The lead singer decided to use everyone in a film he wanted to shoot...or maybe it was just a play...and the hotel was the setting. There were scenes shot all over the entire building, but the crucial scene was to be filmed on one of the stair cases. I was involved with this scene.

What was to happen was this guy had to walk up between me and another guy. When he did, I and the other guy were supposed to look at each other as if we felt the pull of some invisible force. This force was supposed to overwhelm me and I had to fall back and bounce down the stairs. When I fell back, the invisible force was supposed to yank on the guy that walked between us and pull him down with me.

I don't remember what that was all about, and we had to film it several times to get it right, I was hurting from having to fall down the stairs so many times, but in the end, when everyone got ready to watch the film...or put on the play...the lead singer decided to scrap it.

The next dream I had was a bit disturbing. I was hanging with someone in their house, when they showed me some pictures. I didn't recognize this guy at all, but I understood that I knew him. When he handed me the first picture, it was an aerial picture of him and his wife having sex. I freaked out, but he didn't. Thing truth was, even though they were both naked, no vital parts were showing. Either they were positioned a certain way or someone's hair was in the way. In this picture, she was sitting on top of him and he was lying on his back, but, yeah, no vital parts were showing.

He showed me the next picture. The bed they were on was bigger than I thought. In fact, it was big enough to hold four other couples. Here's the kicker: these other four couples, in the same sexual position as this guy and his wife, were strategically placed about the couple in the middle. In fact, it looked as though the guy in the middle had spread his arms and legs out to where each other couple could sit on his hands and feet.

Like the first couple, none of their vital parts were showing. He showed me the next picture. The bed was even bigger and more couples were strategically placed about, though they were in different sexual positions. They were laying on their sides, maybe in 69 fashion, I don't know, but like the others, none of their vital parts were showing. I started to notice this weird shape or pattern that all the couples were making. Right now, I can't recall what shape or design it was, but it reminded me of people using their bodies to form letters and make words. You know what I'm talking about?

Anyway, the next dream after that was short and weird. Someone and I were making a pizza for a customer. There were a lot of toppings and we were about to stick it in the oven, but somehow or the other, we got confused about the last topping. It was deer meat. I remember seeing a dear head somewhere in the vicinity. The guy with me had already put deer meat on the pizza, but I was uncertain about it being on there. Then, we examined further, and to my dread, the deer meat came with...deer eggs. Yes, instead of the natural birthing process deer go through, they came in eggs in this dream.

If the pizza was supposed to have deer meat on it, we didn't know if the eggs were supposed to go with it. They looked kind of like frog eggs wrapped around the meat. Nasty! The dream ended before we came to a conclusion, though.

Pretty weird, huh? 2008!!!!

Sunday, December 30, 2007 - 12:29 P.M.

Wow. I haven't updated this journal ever since before Christmas. A lot has happened. My friend got married and I was one of the groomsmen. Then, Christmas came around and I was busy trying to play catch up with some short stories while thinking about what I was going to get everyone for Christmas presents. The sad truth is that I haven't finished Christmas shopping. I'll get it done though, and thankfully, those who received their gift after Christmas were still happy to get something.

Now, I've been antsy to start this new book. I have to say, though, it started out as one idea, and morphed into something way freaking cooler! There will be monsters and chasing the dead, but it's all going to be totally different. Hahahaaaaaa! You'll just have to wait and see.

I have the characters, mostly, but I don't want to go ahead and draw them out all the way. That would take away from the life of the book. So, I'm gonna take what I have, along with the scenes in my head (I know how it's going to end already.) and straight up go with the flow. I'll keep you posted along the way. I can't freaking wait! This one is gonna rock! It's going to be dark, but the twists and everything involved, I'm really proud of the idea.

In the meantime, I have people reading my fisrt book, getting their opinions and editors notes and all that. I'll get back on that book once everyone finishes.

2nd Draft: November 27, 2007 - December 7, 2007

Yes! I'm picking it back up! A slice of life fantasy packed with enough action and lunacy to cure any reader of boredom.

The third issue of Darkened Horizons is now available for purchase! DHI3 features a cover design by Gabrielle Faust! This is a fabulous collection of work from a wide variety of upcoming and established authors of dark fiction. Please check it out and pick up a copy via LuLu or through the Darkened Horizons virtual store! This isn't merely a magazine, but a full fledged 190 page book! :)

Links for purchasing Darkened Horizons Issue 3:

Softback $13.49: http://www.lulu.com/content/1685512

Hardcover $26.99: http://www.lulu.com/content/1691858

You can also download the magazine in a PDF version through LuLu for $4.99 if a printed version isn't your style.

Darkened Horizons Online Store: http://www.lulu.com/darkenedhorizons

Issue 3 of the Darkened Horizons series offers up stories from 15 talented artists. Featuring:
SHALLOW CRIES by Charlotte Emma Gledson
ANNUAL CAMPING TRIP by Lloyd Schwieger
NATURAL DRIVE by Charles Spencer
MIND TRAPPED by Nicole Rogers
THE WATCHER AT THE GATE by Alex Rivera
APARTMENT J by Gabrielle S. Faust
A WALK IN THE SUN by Jim Shifflett
THE RED CLOUD AFFLICTION by Stanley Anderson
JUST A GIRL by Andrea Colleen
THE SLIDING by Kevin Lucia
MR. F**KING BOTHERSOME by Dave Rex
NOT A CHANCE by Jessica Lynne Gardner
ROUGH NIGHT FOR GLADYS by Colin M. Maguire
FLOWER IN THE WIND by Rick McQuiston
DAMNATION OBSERVES by Nickolaus A. Pacione

Over 180 Pages of terrifying horror. WARNING: STORIES CONTAIN GRAPHIC VIOLENCE, STRONG PROFANITY AND SEXUAL CONTENT UNSUITABLE FOR YOUNGER READERS.

Sunday, December 16, 2007 - 3:18 P.M.

Wow! It's funny how so many things can happen all at the same time. I was waiting for the newest issue of Dark Horizons to come out so I could see my short story published in it. It came out yesterday, and yesterday should have been the day I wrote this journal entry announcing the release of the magazine. But now is when I finally get that chance.

I woke up early Saturday morning for...guess what...a morning shift at work. Yaaayeee.......
I didn't get to check my email like I wanted, knowing I'd receive some confirmation from the Dark Horizon's editor that the issue had come out. He even sent a PDF file of the mag to all the writers, and I had to wait until later that night to get a glimpse at the file.

The morning shift at work ended up being slow for the most part. Though, there were the occasional spurts. No kind of rushes though. So, I just hung out with the coolest manager we have there. However, my morning shift wasn't the end. I had to work an evening shift at the other store. Yeah, a double. I can't stand that! I was scheduled out of the first shift at a certain time, when night shift people start coming in relieving me, but of course, that's when real business hits and it's not always guaranteed I'll get out when I should, yet, like I said, I had another shift to go to.

Already tired of work, I had to get out of my first shift through the requests of my next manager for my assistance in bringing some supplies over to the next store. With that push, I finally got out of the first store and went straight to the other one. This happened some time after 5 pm. My first shift started at 10:30 am. I made around $30 in tips during my first shift. Sucks.

My second shift didn't even last that long, thankfully, but here's the kicker. In the short time I was there, I made around $36 in tips. How about that?

I sped home. Why? Well, my night wasn't over.

I got a shower and put on my black clothes because I was going to a party. The independent newspaper I write for, The Burger, was throwing a 'Best of the Burg' party as well as celebrating its final printed issue. (That's another story.) The dress theme for the party was Funeral, thus my black clothes. So long Burger! But, we'll keep the internet site running. Deadlines are going to be obsolete for the most part.

My friend's band, voted the best band in my hometown through the 'Best of the Burg' contest hosted by The Burger, played at the party, delivering an awesome performance. That ended sometime after 1 am.

Next, my friends and I were off to a Bachelor’s Party. More drinking! We all went to a friend's house and they were drinking well before we got there. So, some of them had to call it a night while the rest of us, a core group, hung out picking at each other and stuff. I finally got home some time after 4 am.

I woke up today several different times, but I finally got out of the bed after 2 pm.

Friday, December 7, 2007 - 2:35 P.M.

On a side note, but very very exciting, one of my short stories was accepted to be published. The magazine is called Dark Horizons which caters to the Horror and Sci Fi genres. The issue should come out around the 15th of this month.

The name of my short story is "The Red Cloud Affliction".

The person behind the Dark Horizons mag that I sent my short story to sent this comment along with accepting my submission: "I found the story to be very well told and while it was gory it was still poetic."

If you're interested, here's the Dark Horizons' web page, http://www.darkenedhorizons.com/ and the myspace page of the guy I corresponded with http://www.myspace.com/jordanmbobe.

I'll keep you posted and let you know when you can pick the mag up. Hahaaaa!

Friday, December 7, 2007 - 2:18 P.M.

The rewriting process...is very difficult. But I finished my second draft! Finally! I learned just how scatter brained I was, and being that way didn't help. Plus, there's so much intensity in my story, so much zaniness that, coupled with me being scatter brained, it wore me out. But, yes, after deleting and rewriting, going this way, going that way, going back that way, going ahead, I came to the point to where I said, "Alright! I've ripped it up as much as I can stand. I'll have to let the story stand on its own now."

I'm going to let it rest for a day, just in case there's something I forgot about. You know, any last minute editing. Then, I'm going to email it to a select number of people to get some constructive criticism.

In the meantime, I have two articles to write for two different papers, and I have a short story to finish. I have to say, I'm relieved, excited, and nervous all in one! But, most of all, I'm looking forward to having people read my work. This book is my first serious work. I know I've said that for the past couple of books I started on, but with the knowledge I have now, this story is the one. This is the first serious story. Wish me luck!

Sunday, December 2, 2007 - 2:31 P.M.

Well, I finished reading through the first draft of my book, and I have to say, I'm excited! It was great getting to rediscover my book, the story, what happened with all the characters, and just watching things play out. Yeah, it was almost like reading someone else's book, which is a good thing, because that way, I'll be able to edit without feeling bad about it, haha!

My run through consisted of marking all the grammar mistakes, deleting unnecessary words, mostly adverbs, but in the back of my head, I was watching the plot, remembering themes, rediscovering plot and theme, and the such. Especially near the end. In the first draft, by the time I got near the end, I thought of different things that I wanted to include that would make the story better, and included them even though these thing weren't mentioned in the earlier chapters. Going over the first draft, I had a pen and pad ready, and whenever I came across those new things, I jotted those things down so I can include them in the previous chapters.

The only thing is, as a rule of thumb, the second draft should be 10% less words than the first draft. In order to add these things, I need to be clever. Maybe I can delete certain things that will allow me to add those additions in their place, thus making the story even better.

It's going to be a challenge though, but at least I got one part of the second draft out of the way. I'm going to run through the first draft on the computer and make all the corrections I marked on the printed draft. After that, I'm going to get serious again.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007 - 9:26 P.M.

I printed out as much of the first draft as I had time for and started reading. I spent three hours and got through a fourth of the draft. It was fantastic to relive the book, and since I spent so much time away from it, it almost seems foreign, like someone else did it, but I know it's mine and I'm proud.

During this run, my goal is to read all the way through it, scratching out words that don't belong, underlining sentences that don't sound right, and spell checking. Basically, doing a lot of editing, while, the whole time, I'm asking the big questions: What's the story about? Who are the characters really? Is there a theme? Yes, even while I was typing out the first draft I knew there was a theme. Now, well, days before I started on the second draft, I finally realized what the story was focused around.

Now, I'm reading the story almost as if I had bought it out of a bookstore and I'm just reading it for the sheer joy of reading a story. I'm so freaking excited!

My goal is to finish reading the first draft in four days. The fifth day I'll get back on the computer and started fixing all those editing notes I marked down, thus creating the second draft. That might take me two days, I don't know, but I hope to be able to send the second draft out to a couple of chosen people for their opinions on the piece.

After that, I'll rest and wait to hear what they have to say. Till then, I'll be busy.

Time for that six week break from the novel. That means the stories get a lot smaller. Oh yeah, I'm not finished telling stories. Gotta get cracking to get published in those magazines. I don't doubt that a lot of my short stories are gonna be fantasy or sci fi based, but I do know they're gonna get weird.

Monday, November 26, 2007 - 8:00 P.M.

I tried that way of writing in pen on paper for a bit. I know, that sounds like something that a writer should be used to, but I've written most of my stuff on the computer. A lot of my notes are written on paper. I bring this little note pad with me just about everywhere because I'm always daydreaming, and there's not telling when an idea will hit me. I have to write it down before I forget. Like dreams. Here lately though, as soon as I wake up, I can't remember enough of my dreams to write something down.

But, anyway, I found myself engaged in the short story I was writing in the note pad...even when I was around people. I do all my writing in my room alone, with the door closed. This time, I guess it was because I was also engaged in the process of having to form the words with my fingers instead of hitting a single button that puts the letter up there in a split second.

However, that process is long. I type faster than I write, haha. And with tomorrow being the day I start on the second draft to my novel, I had to speed up the process. I'm going to try to finish the first draft of the short story tonight. I hope I can. Anyway, tomorrow, after going over as much of my novel as I can, I'll write an entry and change up my home page to where the novel will be the current project again. Wish me luck. This will be m first time going through this process. I can't wait!

Friday, November 23, 2007 - 12:40 P.M.

I'm getting close to the date I set to start the second draft of my novel. I've been telling my friends about it, getting all excited. It's gonna be my first time to be able to look at a finished draft and have nothing but editing and re-writing to do. It's like a huge relief. Not as much work, well, that's what I tell myself. And even though it seems that way, I know that it's just as much work. However, I'm really looking forward to it.

Until then, I'm still working on short stories and waiting on responses from magazines. I don't want to announce this to any magazines, especially the one I sent a certain short story to, but I'm writing a sequel to that particular short story. I wasn't going to. Didn't plan on it, but ideas came to me through music and a couple of scenes that played in my head.

But for this short story, I'm trying something a little different as far as the writing process goes. I'm actually hand writing it out on paper. I want to finish the first draft in pen ink, and do the second draft on computer. I like this medium. It feels different, for one thing. With the computer, yes it is faster and easier, but it also feels like cheating. Going back to the days of writing under candle light and ink quills, those writers probably took their writing more seriously because they couldn't hit the back space or delete keys to erase some mistake. They have their heads totally in the game.

I'm not saying I don't have my head in the game while writing on the computer, but with this, it's a fresh way to do things, and I'm getting my writer's exercise. One thing I've noticed about this is, because I can't hit either the backspace or delete keys, well, I sometimes have to scribble things out, but I am a little more cautious about what my next words is, which, like I mentioned before, is a good exercise.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007 - 1:42 P.M.

I was working on a short story that I had put off for a month or so. I had an article in a Popular Science Magazine as inspiration. Of course, it being an science mag, it had most of the technical details about the setup I was going to use. I was excited about this story because, at first I really didn’t know what it was going to be about, I mean, I knew what the main character was going to attempt, but I needed a good reason, you know, and then it hit me, having somewhat of a religious undertone.

I think I learned something about myself that I kind of knew, but now it's confirmed...as cool as I think details, like mechanical, or just explaining how something works, be it a machine or a process...isn't really my cup of tea. I mean, I like coming up with ways to explain and create things in my stories, but when I write about them, it just drags me down. However, if I skip it and go ahead to write out the rough draft of the story, I feel like I've cheapened the story somehow, even though I know I'll go back and write all that stuff in the second time around.

I had fun writing out the opening scene: introduction of the character and his quirky personality, and the dialogue between him and these other guys who bring him an offer. It's all cool. You find out what kind of people all three are and you get the premise of what's going to happen. Then, as got into the other technical stuff, I lost interest.

Maybe I want to keep it more story based, instead of having to describe things I don't know a lot about, however, I feel as a writer, I need to know a little bit about the field I'm tapping into, just to make it believable for the readers. More story, less technical detail, but where is that happy medium? How do I write the story while including just enough technical stuff as to make it sound like I know what I'm writing about and be able to focus on the story?

My solution: I put the story down for a bit.

I'll come back to it, but I'm already jaded, and I don't want to force myself to write it, because that would result in garbage. So, with my enthusiasm to write still buzzing in my bones, I'll go to another short story. If I'm about to do the one I think I'm going to do, then it's more fantasy based instead of sci fi. Or, who knows, I may just come up with something out of the blue.

 

Friday, November 2, 2007 - 12:36 P.M.

I gotta say, the aftermath of some great event always has a bitter/sweet taste to me.

For the big event I’m talking about, there at the end of October, those couple of days Hattiesburg celebrated Halloween, were a climax stretched out and given its own rises and falls in the story line that lead to the final climax, and then the falling action.

The beginning was the show on that Thursday prior to Halloween at my favorite venue. Three bands played. One of them was my friend’s band. All three acts were quirky in their own way. From a two piece bass guitar and drums that invited a guitarist later on in the set, to a three piece with circus-like disco sounding music and silly vocals, to a two piece who dressed up in suits that matched their checkerboard backdrops and played these wacked out electronic songs.

Then, there was the party on the Saturday before Halloween. There were lots of half naked women and the dance floor was packed. I hung out with my friends and laughed at all the dunk people. I even tried to entertain this cool chick I wouldn’t mind dating, if only she wasn’t such a hard nut to crack.

Then, my friends put on this show at the coolest coffee shop in Hattiesburg. One performed horror themed magic, in which I became a part in it and watched his hand go through my gut to grab an apple out of a chick’s hand and then pull it back through. You should’ve heard the audience scream at that. It was great! Then, this beautiful belly dancer came out and performed in front of my other friend’s paintings that blinked and moved with his flashing lights. It was the perfect backdrop for her performance, and later that same friend and I talked about how she was an ideal woman to pursue. Haha! Not just because she’s a hot belly dancer, but because of how motivated she is in life.

Finally, there was the big show on Halloween night! My friend who played Thursday performed in his main band and they jammed with another fan favorite band. Everyone dressed up. It was a packed venue. There was a costume contest where this guy won due to his Predator costume that he hand crafted himself. It looked awesome. After the show, my friends and I started out at a party and went to eat. There, we hung out with some people who were at the show. I didn’t get home until around 5 in the morning.

Halloween day was the craziest, because everyone was doing their last minute costume shopping, so the cool places I hung out at were busy.

And then…

The day after it all, the end of the falling action….the shift back into reality. And man, for some, that shift is rough. It was for me. No money, my car would only start when it wanted to, and my paycheck arrived late so I didn’t get to the bank in time. I was dragging around all day, mostly because after a night like that, it takes me a day to recuperate.

Those kinds of days are sad. Once you’re in the moment of all the action and then the climax, going back to everyday life, it’s a bit disappointing. I miss the moment. It’s magical. It’s larger than life. I forget about life’s harshness. I’m just having fun. Going back to the daily grind makes the world lose that brightness. The dreary grey comes back and I don’t want to face the responsibilities.

Yet, I get the hang of things again and I smile because I know…the end of one story always means that there are other stories yet to come. So, another moment will come and take me to cloud nine again. Another story will come along and we’ll all be swallowed in its grandeur. That’s what helps me trudge on, looking and waiting for that next story.

Sunday. October 28, 2007 - 7:55 P.M.

I’ve noticed that everyone likes to celebrate Halloween more than one day a year. In fact, there have been parties going on all this weekend, and there is still more events to come. I say, hey, bring it all on. I think like Christmas and Thanksgiving, Halloween is the other big Holiday that everyone gets into.

I like dressing up and all that. I always try to come up with another cool idea each year, although this year I haven't had the budget to do what I want. I was going to go as a werewolf, you know, a classic idea, but I was going to get creative with it.

However, my friend works at a store that has all kinds of hippie like stuff, posters, clothes, music, movies, it has just about everything. Their biggest thing is Halloween costumes, and they're famous for that. I was hanging out with him while he was dressed up and welcoming people who drove up, I spotted a simple, yet, effective mask for little over $3, and it's worked. No costume, just a mask. I even left the little plastic hook on the top where it hung from the wall...for special effect. I've gotten all kinds of comments, so, at least I'm successful, haha!

There's been a rock show, a party, and there's death metal show tonight. Then, I'll take part in a magic show at everyone's favorite coffee shop. After that will be the biggest Halloween show ever! And it's going to be on Halloween Night!

Friday, October 26, 2007 - 2:53 P.M.

I started chatting with a guy who has created a web page for Fantasy and Scifi writers. It's an ebook publishing company and they're gathering manuscripts from writers to create a couple of Anthologies.

I spoke with him about submitting a short story I'd had written a couple of months ago, even though it didn't fall under the requirements of the Anthologies, and he let me submit it anyway. So far, he's liked the story and suggested some revisions and such, which looking back at the short story, made sense, so I finished making the changes today and sent off the edited version. Here's hoping that it'll get published.

If it does, you know I'll write a journal entry saying so, and where to find my short story and when. So, wish me luck and all that.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007 - 10:09 P.M.

Well, haha, after letting people read my short story and after all the editing and opinions I recieved, once again, the genre changes. It's Science Fiction. Okay! I got it!

Even though the focus behind the story is about emotions and such, there is all this technical stuff and the setting itself, well, the situation the world is in, all points to SciFi. Hey, you can still talk about feelings and emotions and all that even in SciFi, so there.

I still have to do a little bit of editing, but for the most part, the story is complete. And, before I send it off, I'll include a little snippet in this journal entry. Here ya go:

The only thing that was real was Lucius himself. A long time ago, those red cushioned seats were filled with spectators entertained by what they saw on stage, much like those people outside this room who watched Lucius roar every time they brought him back, because like the actors of whatever play this stage put on were considered mere objects of pleasure for the audience, Lucius felt like a lizard in a glass container. There was no where to go, so he sat on his stupid stick in the middle for all to see.

Doesn't give you much, but there is a major character who has a problem. Who are his oppressors and why do they have him caged? You'll find out when, hopefully, the story gets published. I'll post a very enthusiastic journal entry stating what magazine and when the issue comes out when that happens. Until then, dwell on it. Let it consume you. Hahahaaaaaa!

Sunday, October 21, 2007 - 5:23 P.M.

Well, I caught myself in a dilemma. I got so involved with the scientific research behind my short story that I convinced myself it was a Sci Fi piece. But once I got back into the drama and characters, I realized that it's more Fantasy based. The central theme of the story is based upon the futile attempt to deny emotions.

Clearly from that point, the story isn't touching on the scientific approach to human emotions. Science can speculate all it wants to, but human emotions are unpredictable, so, yeah, I feel that my story, even though there is a lot of science involved, might be more Fantasy-like. But, hey, what genre is it doesn't matter that much to me, as long as I get my story told, through whatever background.

Speaking of science, remember my whole metaphysical dilemma? Well, I was reading a magazine I find very inspiring for writers. The author of this particular article about writers being plagued with too many ideas (Oh the horror!) and trying to help them organize their thoughts, compiled nine strategies to do so. One of them made me laugh as soon as I looked at it:

8. GET (META) PHYSICAL. Dr. Northrup uses another kind of card to help her sort through her many ideas for projects. "I often make decisions using the Motherpeace Tarot card deck. Before cutting the cards, I ask for guidance. There's no magic in these cards; they're an intuition tool and help me get in touch with what my intuition is trying to tell me."

What tha junk?

Sunday, October 21, 2007 - 11:27 A.M.

Sometimes I end up having to do some research for a book or short story in order to make the content believable, or close to being believable. I heard a friend say "Don't let the truth get in the way of a good story." I believe that as well, but my purpose in doing the research is more out of having fun with the information while placing it where it belongs in my story.

Besides, it's a learning experience for me as well.

The major topic of conversation among my peers that I started up is the definition of Metaphysics. Why this? Because it has something to do with the short story I'm writing, and even thought the story has more to do with ghosts and such, I have to say it's more of a Sci Fi story than fantasy. Of course, some people might end up disagreeing, and that's perfectly alright. At least they read it, huh? Haha!

Upon asking my friends what Metaphysics was, well, I got all kinds of answers, and some of them weren't sure.

I consulted the dictionary on my computer to begin with. This is what I got:
metqaqphysqics [mPttc? fízziks]
n
1. philosophy of being: the branch of philosophy concerned with the study of the nature of being and beings, existence, time and space, and causality (takes a singular verb)
2. underlying principles: the ultimate underlying principles or theories that form the basis of a particular field of knowledge (takes a plural verb)
Symmetry is part of the metaphysics of quantum mechanics.
3. abstract thinking: abstract discussion or thinking (takes a singular verb)

Then, after all the different answers I got from my peers, which I will share with you in just a second, I went to Wikipedia and got this:
Metaphysics is the branch of philosophy that investigates principles of reality transcending those of any particular science, traditionally including cosmology and ontology. It is also concerned with explaining the ultimate nature of being and the world.[1] Its name derives from the Greek words μs20 εeτtά? (metá) (meaning "after") and φfυ?σsι?κ?ά? (physiká) (meaning "physics"), "physics" referring to those works on matter by Aristotle in antiquity.[2] As a result of Aristotle's usage, "meta" has come to mean "beyond; over; transcending" in English. Therefore, metaphysics is also the study of that which transcends physics. Many philosophers such as Immanuel Kant would later argue that certain questions concerning metaphysics (notably those surrounding the existence of God, soul, and freedom) are inherent to human reason and have always intrigued mankind. Some examples are:

What is the nature of reality? Why does the world exist, and what is its origin or source of creation?

Does the world exist outside the mind?

If things exist, what is their objective nature?

A central branch of metaphysics is ontology, the investigation into what types of things there are in the world and what relations these things bear to one another. The metaphysician also attempts to clarify the notions by which people understand the world, including existence, objecthood, property, space, time, causality, and possibility.
More recently, the term "metaphysics" has also been used more loosely to refer to "subjects that are beyond the physical world". A "metaphysical bookstore", for instance, is not one that sells books on ontology, but rather one that sells books on spirits, faith healing, crystal power, occultism, and other such topics.
Before the development of modern science, scientific questions were addressed as a part of metaphysics known as "natural philosophy"; the term "science" itself meant "knowledge". The Scientific Revolution, however, made natural philosophy an empirical and experimental activity unlike the rest of philosophy, and by the end of the eighteenth century it had begun to be called "science" in order to distinguish it from philosophy. Metaphysics therefore became the philosophical enquiry into subjects beyond the physical world. Natural philosophy and science may still be considered topics of metaphysics, if the definition of "metaphysics" includes empirical explanations.

Now, with all that, how do these explanations sound:

"Meta means in between. Metaphysics is in between physics and philosophy."

"It's the philosophical look at physics. The things we can't prove."

"Meta means 'Big' and physics is about objects, so it's about 'Big Objects'."

"I don't know. Look it up."

I think I've got a good idea of what it is now, and feeling confident, I would feel justified in puting it into my story. The funny thing is, metaphysics is only part of the back story, it's not even what the story is about, but it raised such a stink that in my mind, and in everyone else's mind that I talked to, metaphysics will stands out more than it should have. I'm sure once I get my mind back on the story itself, I'll forget about the metaphysical part of it. Till then, do I even exist? Plato? Aristotle? Someone help!

Wednesday, October 17, 2007 - 11:38 P.M.

Crawling out of my hermit hole after finishing my book was definitely a change. I mean, I've got to get back to being responsible again. Gotta wash clothes regularly...not that I didn't, but not as often as I should, you know? I had to do some cleaning up. A lot of things that got put in the "look at it later" pile I finally looked at and found out I never needed to look at them and threw them away. Some of it was outdated crap or mail. I also had to clean off my desk. To the left of my computer, there is a space that gets a lot of stuff mixed around, piled up, or sort of sits there for a spell and then gets replaced. Now, all that stuff is gone. That stuff usually belongs to my current book, whatever notes I have, if any, or other things that inspire me or just have something to do with the story.

Now, I gotta get a new job. I still have one, it's just...I'm not making any money. I need a better job. Coming out of this first draft, it feels like I need some cheesy make over, but not girl style. No, either I need to do some soul searching, or I need to do some reevaluating of myself. Now that my mind isn't on my book, I can do those sort of weird things now.

So, anyway, gotta get my health back up. Gotta start eating right. Gotta get a schedule. Gotta get more social than I was. Gotta tackle some responsibilities now that I don't have an excuse...not that anyone every bought my excuse in the first place. Writers who don't have published books yet, or maybe even published writers, don't get sympathy from their peers about being responsible human beings.

But the story teller in me will never die. I took a day off after finishing my first draft of my novel. Yet, today, when I got up, I started on my newest short story. Too bad I can't tell you anything about it yet. Hopefully, within a couple of months I'll be telling you to check it out in whatever magazine publishes it. Yeah, it'll take that long. Sorry.

1st Draft - May 30th 2007 to October 15th 2007.

The current novel I'm working on describes, through a first person account, this very thing. Yet, I took artistic freedom and tweaked the hazard level up a bit while throwing in greedy mafia-like characters, blind politicians, stubborn figureheads, and eager artists of different calibers. With the threat of a city's persona at stake, people get passionate, and the gloves come off. With as much warfare cramped inside the streets, it's incredible that the citizens don't notice. Yet, they feel the end results. No one ever really witnesses the work involved.

Monday, October 15, 2007 - 8:36 P.M.

I did it! It's done! I finished the first draft of my book just a few minutes ago! Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Now begins my six week break from it. Yes, I'm gonna put it away for that long and then come back for round two. But, I need a break. Although I will be getting back into my short story writing for the magazines, I'm gonna take some days off from writing. Right now, it hurts to type. I've typed so much for the past couple of days that I'm sick of it. I'm weak. Getting near the end, I was so sloppy, making all kinds of typos and backspacing, and all that, I'm worn out. I don't ever want to type again for the rest of my life.

Nah, that's not true. So, here I am finishing a first draft of a book with my new take on the writing world. With the knowledge I have now about writing, I feel a lot better about this book than past projects. Of course, I already know about some things I want to change with the story, but that's round two. I'm putting it away for six freaking weeks!

As always when I finish a project or a certain part of a book, I do this weird thing where I flail my hands about and let out this Indian war-like squeal. It's great. When I do that I really know that I'm happy about what I've done. If I don't do that, then I get all depressed. So, I'm feeling good right now. Just sore and malnurished.

I knew how it was gonna end. I knew...or at least had an idea of how the climax was gonna play out, it was more like a legendary fight on a battlefield like back in the old days, but I was happy about how things wrote out. They just flowed from my numb fingers. Oh man, I'm sick of typing even this journal entry. Haha! But I have to say, I had things written out in my head, but when I got to those points, everything went out and I just typed it as it came. I liked the way it ended, although, I'm sure I'll have to touch it up to tie up some loose ends. But next round.

Oh, I have a headache. I've had no money, which gave me an excuse to set these days aside to become a hermit and write write write! Now, I gotta get back in to social circle. I'll continue to write on here. There's always something happening with my writer's life. Till next time.....

Friday, October 12, 2007 - 11:02 A.M.

The last couple of days have been busy for me. So much in fact that I haven't had that much time to spend on my novel. I finally got to interview a teacher about a global Human Rights Activist organization, got recruited to spread some merchandise and posters for a promotional organization(free tickets to a haunted attraction for those whom I deem worthy), and I've had to make a deadline for an article.

Now that all that's out of the way, time to get back into the mind set of my book. I'm near the end. In fact, I'm writing the scene that happens before the climax. After the heart pounding climax, I think the falling action is going to be easy to write. It was getting to the climax that was hard.

On a side note, I've got this thing that every time I see someone hurt, like bandaged up or in a cast, or whatever, I hurt as well. No, it's not some kind of sympathy thing, although I think it sucks for them, but I feel physical pain. Really. I feel it....in my shins.

Weird? I think so. Let me explain.

When I see the wounded person, this reflex goes off in my shins. It's not pain, more like something rushing across my nerve endings, exciting them. This feeling starts from just below my kneecap and spreads to my knee and down to about mid shin. It only lasts for two seconds to the most. This big flaring sensation, and then that's it.

I don't know when this reflex started. Maybe because I'm a softhearted guy, I've always had this. I don't know. But, anyway. Time to get back on my novel. I'm going to finish it this month. I'm looking at some time next week, hopefully. If all goes well. 

Monday, October 8, 2007 - 6:30 P.M.

I've often heard stories about people I know now when they were younger. Hearing about their romping days always makes me compare that time with my present time, because usually, they were about my age when these stories take place.

But because they are stories, it always seems like they were a lot cooler back then, and because I compare myself to those stories, I don't seem to be living life to the fullest like they did when they were my age.

There's an example that always sticks out to me. When I went to a church called Pineview Baptist, the preacher at the time was named Bro. Bobby Shurden. At the same time, he was either a constable, or just a regular policeman. So, he had status as a pillar of the community.

However, back then, I don't know how many times it happened, but it was either his brother or a friend of his that frequented a bar, or several bars, but they were tough. When the bar fights would break out, I was told that he and his brother/friend would stand back to back and clear the place out with martial art-like finesse.

When I think about stories like that, I think about heroes. When I think about it like that, I think about back stories of some comic book heroes. Some of them reminisce about the "Good ole Days" or the prime of their lives, so to speak.

I see these real life people now and hope I at least develop the same kind of "pillar of the community" status and respect they have. I just know that they gained this by their works when they were younger, and worry that I'm not doing the work it takes to gain that status when I'm that age. 

Sunday, October 7, 2007 - 10:40 A.M.

I could say that yesterday, for me, was a full time session of night life. I went to several different events, all of which catered to different "genres" of people, and took all kinds of pictures.

Starting off, there was the Artwalk in downtown. From having a crush on the sexy French teacher in charge of a High School fund raiser, to buying baked treats for a great price, I saw a little bit off art. Then, after hanging out at the coffee shop, I went to a death metal show where the stamp they put on you after paying to get in was a cruddy drawing of a penis.

I was reminded that even though it's death metal, this kind of music still has hot chicks as fans. Of course, this kind of music incites friendly violence, so to speak, and during the course of several mosh pits the singers of each band had to either catch their mic stands of get another one because the previous one was broken.

Aside from watching this short girl, who was well endowed I might add, throw herself into the middle of the mosh pit and thrash like the best of them, the point of this journal entry is to tell you about the battle wounds afterward

I did my fare share of shouting last night, so this morning, I wake up with a sore throat. Not only that, but I think some part of my throat is now inflamed, or hurt really bad. Although there's no pain until I swallow, every time I talk, it feels like I have to swallow a piece of food or something. Very weird. I tried drinking some coffee(warm coffee seems to help my throat if it's sore, sometimes) but it felt like the coffee sort of trickled around the bump or whatever it is in the back of my throat. Furthermore, I felt now heat at all, so it might be numb back there, until I swallow.

Needless to say, I was worried, but I'm not a hypochondriac. I've gotten used to having this weird body part rubbing against the back of my tongue when I speak. All I have to do is take it easy and not scream with my favorite CD's while driving around town.

Friday, October 5, 2007 - 11:32 A.M.

Today, I've got to let out a little steam. Trying to become an adult, which is something I guess I've tried to do ever since I got out of High School, is probably one of the hardest things in the world. I'd put it right next to getting married, but that's for another journal entry, another time.

Becoming an adult. Who can say when they have become one of those? Maybe they stop in their tracks one day during their busy life to look back on what they've been through only to find out that they've become an adult already. Yet, that mark, that line you cross over into true adulthood (Whatever that is, anyway) was never obvious. Some people only find out by word from their peers. They get comments like, "Hey, you've matured, you know?" or something like that.

Me? I feel I'm somewhere in the middle of being a college kid and trying to be an adult. I wish I could be like the main character in my current book: a freelance writer who might as well be a staff member of the paper he writes for, living with his friend in an apartment, barely making rent, but getting by just fine. No car, but he has a bike. And so on. Yeah, it's fiction. No matter how real I try to make it, it's still fiction. I never tell about his struggle about how he got to his position that he starts out in when the book starts. That's because it's painful.

And maybe people would be inspired by reading about someone else's struggle...but that's not what my book is about. It's about the pain afterward, but anyway....

Getting started is the hardest part, I hear. I believe it. I've been fortunate enough to be involved in this process: struggle just to get your foot in the door and then you land the position you wanted. The getting-your-foot-in-the-door part is always the hardest. I think that's where you’re really tested. Because once you land the job or position, a weight seems to lift from you. Of course, you get all these other responsibilities, but for some reason, they don't always seem to compare to the whole struggle just to get where you are to have to deal with those responsibilities.

I'm at a point, no, I've been at a point where I've craved more for my life. I want something different. I'd love to just get a book published and it be a best seller and I wouldn't have to worry about money. Yet, I haven't done that yet. I've settled with the fact that I was late in finding out what I wanted to do with myself. So what? Whose schedule am I on? Not anyone's but mine. Family might pressure me. Friends might pressure me, even though deep down, I'm glad cause it means they care, but in the end, all that matters is how I feel.

And right now, I feel this is the foot-in-the-door struggle, and it's only a matter of time. That's what I keep telling myself.

Thursday, October 4, 2007 - 10:57 A.M.

I had a weird dream last night, and I have to say, a lot of my dreams tend to lean more toward horror, yet they're not nightmares. Instead, they tell me stories, and in turn, I write them down as possible plots or ideas for future projects. By the by, I discuss dreams I can remember in detail in the forum. Go check it out.

I can't remember enough of this particular dream, but I remember being in a, either it was a school or some public center, I can't remember. But anyway, there were a lot of people I know in this dream. We were having a good and normal time, and then all of the sudden, something happens, and all the women start going crazy. Not like frenzy crazy, but they start acting, well, not normal. But not at the same time. The first goes down. Then the next. Then the next. Soon, us guys have sort of locked them in small rooms by themselves while we try to figure out what's going on.

As I'm taking a break, I go to the restroom. I remember entering the restroom, and it was long, with urinals and stalls along the wall. For some reason, I go all the way down to the very last stall. After that, I walk out, but I have to go again, yet I don't go to the same restroom. I feel the need on my way down the hallway. I stop in the next room, turn the corner, and see a urinal in the middle of this table. Well, I don't think anything but, ah relief. So, I do my business. As I'm doing my business, I start to look around and realize that I'm standing in the middle of a lounge type room. To my right, I see equipment, like recording studio equipment.

I hear the door open to my left. A woman, obviously not afflicted yet, or maybe she is, walks in with a set of headphones on. I am totally exposed. Yet, she hasn't noticed me yet. I cover myself up and wear a big grin, because I'm not finished doing my business. She finally notices me, and what she does, she rolls her eyes and looks away, but she doesn't leave. She moves about the lounge tending to papers or whatever, as if she had a reason for being there. Meanwhile, I'm trying to finish.

I look down and realize that I'm not using a urinal. There is a stack of cards, like index cards, and they have a hole punched all the way through their stack. I was aiming for that hole. Where did the urinal go? It was never there. I think I might've been catching whatever happened to those women. And I'm positive something was wrong with the woman in there with the headphones, because not once did she freak out and ask my why I was peeing on the table.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007 - 1:50 P.M.

My friend has been talking about plans his band made to go on tour. They're all quitting their jobs and just throwing themselves out there with the money they have in the band fund. My friend and I have expressed to each other how jaded we've felt about our job. Yeah, we both work at the same place.

Now, he's got a date set for his last day. Hopefully, I won't be too far behind him. No, I'm not going on tour with his band. I'm hoping to have a better job by then. I'm having to do the waiting game right now to see if I'll be hired at this newspaper.

But until then, I'm wishing I could just throw everything down and go on a trip. I have a friend who already did that. In truth, he became a rainbow kid. Flower child, whatever you want to call them. He was gone for a while. I can't remember how long. Maybe a couple of years. He came back a different person, so much knowledge. A different outlook on life. A new way to go about life. He came back and sort of settled into the normal routine of getting a job and living at home. Yet, I know he craves to go back out on the road. I'm glad my friend and his band are doing that.

I want to do that, yet I know I'm not in the position to do so just yet. Why? Well, bills. Yeah. They tied me down, alright. I've got a car. I have to have a car if I want to go on a trip with a little bit of comfort. My job doesn't pay enough and there's not enough business to make enough tips to get me through every day comfortably. I think I could throw down all the other things I don't need and eliminate some of my bills, but I can't get rid of my tuition notes from college. Yeah, I got an Associate's Degree in Studio Art, and I'll more than likely never do anything with it, but I still have to pay for it. How about that, huh?

Many times I've fantasized about striking out on some random trip, just to get out of the safe zone, to get out of familiar things, to get away from the same stuff. Another friend of mine said taking a trip like that was a way he felt he truly made that right of passage from being a boy to a man. Well, I fell like I'm both. I'm creeping my way into a true adult life, whatever that is. I'm starting late because it took me a while to figure out what I wanted to do with myself.

People talk about taking a trip to clear their head. I think I'm long overdue for that. I've just got to figure out a way to be able to strike out on a trip of self discovery just to satisfy my inner hunger and do myself a favor, and leave a lot of things behind.

Tuesday, October 2nd 2007 - 12:09 P.M.

Nearing the end of any first draft is always exciting. For one, I know I'm about to finish a story. I'll have completed a work! The other thing is I get a break. Yes, no matter how much I love writing, books are indeed a lot of work.

But enough of all that. I know what I'm going to do at the end of this book. I've already played things out in my head. I know what the climax is going to be like. I know all that. Getting there is exciting and yet, I'm a little worried. I want the reader to be reading this last section and share the same excitement I'm having as well as the characters themselves. In this last section, something huge is about to happen. Things are going to change over night, but where I am now, that hasn't happened yet. So, it's that anticipation that something is about to happen. I'm stuck in it. There characters are stuck in it. I just hope the readers get stuck in it.

It's almost like a countdown, the moment of truth only seconds away, yet those few seconds between now and then are the most exciting and most excruciating moments of all. Your heart beats faster. You begin to sweat. You run scenarios in your mind about how it’s all about to go down. You think you know how it'll end. Then, there's the fear right before you have to act. Will you act to your full potential? Will everything go as planned? You never know.

But you know you can't stop what's about to happen, and you know you don't want to stop it from happening. You just know you're in a position that's special, because you're about to be one of the players who decide how things are going to be, or at least try to be. It's a big responsibility, yet the excitement of doing such a thing overshadows the weight of the seriousness behind it.

That's where I'm at right now. I'm trying to put myself down into the page with my characters. I want to stand by their sides while they get worked up. Wish me luck guys as I try to pull this outrageous sequence of events off with as much emotion as one would truly feel while experiencing such a situation.