Our Princess
To carl
I am pregant ..oh my god..how will we cope living in a pub?
Two boys and a pub to run..whats that? move? where to?
The country to a quiet place? sounds good to me...
See you soon sweetheart ill pack and be with you soon.
To the doc..
I am pregnant again..no not planned but getting used to the idea.
Oct 22nd? yer that sound right i was on last Jan 16th..
Mums 40th i remember well..ok doc see you soon.
To myself
This sickness is killing me ...when will it stop?
how i long to eat something and hold it down..well better carry on packing.
To the scanner lady
I am what? 11 weeks and 4 days? cool so i am due oct 26th?
no? ...6th november??? how do you figure that out? its complicated?
seems a big gap to me but you know best.
To Carl
Due nov 6th hunni...yes sickness still very bad ..eating lots of ginger.
Yer ive found a lovely house so wont be long babes....love you.
To myself.
Right all packed and ready..bump starting to show...
how i long for a girl..i sure hope i get a daughter as this is our last one.
To Carl.
Hey babes ..together again..im so happy...what do you think this baby will be?
A fireman? what make you so sure its a boy? do you want to know what it is? no! ok hun you will have to leave the scan room as i want to know...i so badly want a girl. Yes as long as its healthy thats all that matter i know!
To a Friend.
Well that is my life story...so it would seem anything that bad can happen it happen to me!...no not now things are looking up with baby on the way.
yer we are bot so very excited.
To the scanner lady.
im 20 weeks? can you tell what it is?.........
No? ooooh ..arm in the way?? lol wants it to be a surprise no doubt...ok never mind.
To mum
You are pregant too!!! cant do anything alone can i lol
To Carl
Look at the size of me...im more rounder than i was with the boys do you think its a girl?? i know you dont wanna know ...but its easier to buy the clours.
To passerbys
Yer not long now..i know i look slimmer when pregnant...yer we cant wait got the room sorted..the pram the cot everything really..even got the packed bag by the door.
I want a girl..would mean alot to me ...no no more Carl is going to have the op we are waiting an appointment.
To Sis in law
Your pregnant too?? what is it summit in the water..hey wont it be cool if we all have girls?? what do u mean you want a boy?? no they aint!
girls are lovely..that first boyfriend..the first bra...first period ..
i want it all..yes mum even the rolling eyes.
To my dad
Yer dad kids are fine...come up and see us soon yer? cool
To the midwife.
I think im in labour ..got pains down my back...no not yet its oct 13th...
yer you can examine me....4cm dilated!!!
oh ok ill get my stuff...mum ring Carl..
he aint gonna make it on time ..mum tell him to rush..wheres the babysitter..ok see you there..mum get your car keys..hurry hurry hurry
To Dad
Dad the baby is on its way!! ..yer ill get Carl to ring you later.
To the baby
Come on baby...you have to wait...daddy aint here yet and he want to be here...good baby...all gone quiet.
To the midwife.
All pain has stopped...i can go home? but im 4cm dilated...oh ok..you know best!
To Carl
Ouch!!! Ouch!! Carl get here now please ...god it hurts!!! feels like the baby is pushing its way out!!
Help me off the floor hun...no my legs gave way...no it aint labour ...dont ring the midwife i can feel it kicking ..all is ok.
To the baby
Ok babes ...im doing tea aint gonna be long.. somewhere over the rainbow...ouch you dont like them high notes do you?
To Carl..
Ouch!!! Ouch!! carl get here it hurts again!!! i cant get up!
I cant move...ring the midwife.
To the midwife.
Pelvic what?? ..yer i can hear the heartbeat....oh that lovely
sound like galloping horses dont it?...a scan tomorrow? ok!
To the scan lady
All is well? oh thats good..can you see what it is?? no? still the arm? thats a shame ...was really hoping to know before its born..well only a couple of weeks to go.
To the baby.
Somewhere over the rainbow...
To the doc..
What do you mean my bump aint the right size for how far i am?
Another scan? But i am due next week? ok i shall go now.
To the scanner lady.
All is well? thats good. Can you see what it is?
no? you cant even see the head? That far down? ok i shall wait outside for consoltant.
To the consoltant.
What do you mean have i had it yet? oooh no lol ..yes it is very far down.
To Carl
all is well babes.
To Mum
shall we all three have a photo of all three of our bumps before we have them?..lovely thanks.
To Carl.
Going shopping today hunni...get a what? a xmas present for the baby...but ...oh ok hun i shall see what i can find.
To the baby
I am so looking forward to meeting you..even this sickness cant dampen my spirits...somewhere over the rainbow
To the till assistant.
Thanks..yer i think its a lovely snowman..smells like a baby..yes its for this one...oh i dont know ..i hope its a girl...no not long this Saturday ..yep 6 days to go ..thats why i have all this shopping
getting ready for the major impact .
To mum
Ouch!! ouch!! Mum it hurts!!! Look!!!! Can you see the limbs!! oh my gos its going mad!!! oh mum it really hurts...phew thats over..
want to watch a dvd?
To carl..
hunni...The baby aint moved since last night..im worried..yer i know
I know hunni getting ready for birth.
To Myself
Stop pancking ...its getting ready..only 5 days to go..not much room left..
To Baby
Come on precious ..my rib cage needs a good kick..let me know you are ok...of caurse you are ok.
To Carl
Bye hunni have a good day at work
To my sons
come on lets get you to school
To the hosp on phone
Im worried ..my baby aint moved since Monday evening..
yer i know....yer sure i will come in this morning.
To the school
Dans coming in but Ash aint ..i am going to the hosp i am worried about the baby...not moving much...
yer i know..probably ..just lack of space.
To Mum
Mum can you take me up the hospital....no the baby aint moved..
but it useually dance...im worried they said to go in for a scan
To myself.
Just being silly...what a plonker!! i am panicking over nothing
or am i? why is the baby so still? why is my bump so hard?
To the baby
Come on little one..please move..
To myself
what was that?? a kick?? i think so! or am i imagining it?
To the scanner lady
Sure? yer if that ones broke you had better get another one.
Yer i know...is that the heartbeat..phew!! no?? oooh mine ...sorry...
To myself
Hold it toether ..hold it together ...dont panick
To the scanner lady
Ok you want me to follow you to ultra sound? ok my mum....oh ok she can look after my boy...
To Myself
Hold it together..hold it together..
To my mum
Its ok mum..they just want to make sure the baby is ok ..wont be long .
To the scanner lady
Please tell me my baby is ok....sure ill lay on my side.
To Myself
why is the screen so black??
To my baby
Come on....please..please...Mummy loves you
To the scanner lady
NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
No no you are wrong!!! please please please .....
To Carl
......
To Mum
......
To Dad
daddy!
To my kids
Ok boys be good for grandad i will see you soon.
To my friends
any day now..yer ....thaks i know.
To my dad
I promice dad ill go in tomorrow to have the baby
To myself
Whats going on? whats going on?
To the doc
This pill? will make the labour faster? ok...ok see you tomorrow..i will be able to bath and dress the baby....ok....thanks
To Carl
I am so sorry hunni
no i am
no i have let you down..i am supposed to protect this baby..
To Baby
Please move please move
To myself
whats going on? whats going on?
To Mum
you sure you dont mind being here mum..i mean with you being pregnant?
thanks mum...oh the pain has started ...oooh ohhhh
To carl
hold my hand hunni
To my baby
Hello baby girl
......
......
To myself
She is so beautiful...why aint she breathing?
why aint she here...god she is perfect...its so quiet..
All i can hear are fireworks...all i can see is you my sleeping princess.
To Carl
7 pounds 4 oz ...big girl hunni
To Mum
why cant i bath or dress her?...oooh i see...ok let the midwife dso it
To Myself
why did i look? my poor baby.
To Ellie Nadine Marritt
Eidelvies eidelvies every morning you greet me
small and white clean and bright
you look happy to meet me
blossom of snow may you bloom and grow
bloom and grow forever
just me and you now hunni..let mummy tell you a story
To Ellie
Goodbye my sweetheart
To myself
hold it together...hold it together
To Carl
Take me home babes..i have to go or i will never leave
To Ellie
Bye my sleeeping princess
To the midwife
Make sure when she go the post mortom ..make sure her snowman never leave her ...has to always be by her side.
Thanks for the photos and prints..her hair ...
To myself
I shall cuddle this blanket forever.
I dont care if people stare at me ..i am leaving the hosp without my baby
of cause i am sobbing ...and Carl...and my mum
To the huminist
Thanks for the lovely service...yes it was everything we wanted...i loved the balloon release...thank you again.
To Myself
Whats going on? whats going on?
To the consoltant
No reason for death?? how can that be?? but surely there must be...Carl wa...he is upset sorry ill see to him later....babies dont just die!
To my mum
Congrats on my little sis mum she is beautiful...no i can handle it..she aint Ellie
To myself.
Hold it together hold it together
To my sis in law
Congrats on my niece...she is beautiful..a photo with my niece and sister?
To myself
Whats going on? hold it togteher
To mum
sure mum get the camera
To myself
I am dieing
To sands teardrop and friends
Thanks for helping me..
Just let go..just let go!
To William
You breathed ..you breathed.
To myself
He breahted! Just let go! just let go!
thanks for reading Claire xxxx