The Underground Junk Hole

These two titles fall into the category of "How the hell would they even make a playable game out of that!?"

Lifesigns: Hospital Affairs
You're a young apprenctice at a major hospital where everyone has a Japanese name but prefer to speak English for some reason. Heck, they even spell in British! "Colour"!? "Pamphlet!?" What the hell!?

I thought this game would play like the Operation board game where you cut people open with the stylus, and it sort of is, you use the touch-pad to examine patients and do other hospital-type stuff. Your first patient is a hot anime secretary with a bad attitude and you have to grope her body as she lays naked in front of you to figure-out what's wrong with her.

Ok, first of all, your hot anime nurse told you the patient has stomach pains. Then, the patient tells you she has stomach pains, exactly where her appendix is. You instantly know, oh, her appendix is messed-up. You COULD just ask her to lift her shirt a little so you can feel for the problem, but instead you ask your hot nurse to strip the hot secretary down to her panties and to lay her povocatively on the table so you can rub her. Hard. Seriously, the game says "Make sure you rub her hard or else it won't have an effect!". Wow.

Lol, okay, I'm exaggerating, but I think it would have been funny if when you, uh, "accidentally" rubbed the patient's naughty parts that the patient would say something realistic about it, instead of a generic "That's not where the problem is."

Anyway, the game is also kind of like a soap opera with gossip and mysterious strangers running around. It's pretty funny if you're into wacky anime/manga stuff, like you talk to the chief nurse and she shares gossip about the hot Pediatrician having a new boyfriend. Then, you have the option of sharing that gossip with other people you talk to. You could bring it up and someone might know more about it or share it with some random guy in the lobby and get a wierd look, har har.

Definitely not a game for everyone, there's a lot of text to read through and the action is lost in it.

Grey's Anatomy

Today I got a trio of car-related games because I miss having a car. Yeah! Cars! Woooooo!

Ridge Racer

This is the one racing game I can finally play without rolling my eyes at some stupid story-plot, because there isn't one. It's just you, a fast car, and open race-track, and that hot chick that shows up on the title-screen, that ONLY shows up on the title screen. Sorry, F&F fans, no bikini-clad skanks in this game.

The controls are very responsive, even with crappy cars (you unlock better ones). There are many cars to choose from, even some from other games! You can choose the music, auto or manual transmission, even the color of your car with a sliding color-scope (I made that word up).

The main problem I have with this game is how frikkin' easy it is to start fish-tailing in the turns! I mean, you're going 60mph in a pretty open turn, and for no reason you start sliding all over the place. Even with the best car that has max grip and handling!!! This is ridiculous, and I don't see a cheat anywhere that stops fish-tailing, so it definitely killed the experience. But if it doesn't bother you, give this game a try.

And I thought the announcer's voice was noteworthy, it sounds like he's totally into the game! When he says YOU'RE THE CHAMPION! you really do feel like a champion!

And pretty.

*cough*

TrackMania

You can choose to race with 1 of 3 types of cars; Rally, Desert, and Stadium, each has it's own feel for handling. The Rally races suck, you barely touch the control pad and you mini-cooper goes flying in that direction, and by flying I mean bounces like a ping-pong ball because the track is so narrow. The Desert and Stadium modes are way more entertaining.

You get a bunch of tracks designed for each type of event/car. You can unlock them, but I don't know how many there are, there aren't any cheats I can find for this game yet, har har. You race againt 3 other opponents at a time and try to get good times to earn gold/silver/bronze medals.

It's a bare-bones game, it feels like a homebrew game really. It's just tracks and cars, no voices or people or dialogue. The tracks are fun though, but I doubt this game is worth whatever crazy price it sells for.

Touch Mechanic

You're a troubled youth, on the run after being accused of murdering your brother in an illegal street race, so you decide to find work as a mechanic because you're into that stuff. So sweet buff old Captain Bob takes you in and gives you shelter in his repair shop where you earn money to buy things that troubled youths like to buy.

Yeah, if I was accused of murdering my brother, the very first thing I'd do is look for work as a mechanic, not try to explain my innocence.

No, seriously!

Touch Mechanic is a nifty little game to give your kids, if you want to give them an early start at having your wish to make them mechanics imposed on them. It's a RPG, skill-builder, and memory-game all in one. You'll need to calibrate your DS before playing because some of the tasks require precise pointing, they're all touch-pad reliant.

I think the reason I didn't toss this game away is because it doesn't have the lame Fast and the Furious atmosphere many car-games have. It can get a bit repetitive though, and even stressful if you don't pay attention to the lessons the old guy teaches you. If you make enough mistakes, he yells and fires you then sends your murdering punk-ass to live on the street. Lol.

Best thing about this game is the sexy-ass music! It's drum and bass-heavy and sounds like Japanese Jazz Fusion or something. It's definitely shagging music!

That's it for this time, remember you can always ask me for games to review, even Genesis/NES/SuperNES games!