This page was added at the suggestion of my girlfriend, whom shall remain anyonoumous.....anynonomous....crap, where's the spell check on this hoopty? Ok, shall remain unidentified for reason of sparing her the embarassment of being associated with this low grade incoherent garbage that passes for a website.

Ok, here we go. Mostly its the cheese. Or, rather, the lack thereof. C'mon guys, how expensive can it be for a multi-million dollar company, who buys in enormous bulk, to put maybe more than 5 little shreds of cheese on their &^*$% tacos? AND they put the cheese on top of the lettuce where it all falls off anyways! WTF? it SHOULD be on top of the meat where it can get melty and not fall off the taco. You'd think with all those people in the kitchen of non-english speaking heritage (again, don't want to offend anyone who can't read this, do we?) they could figure out how to make decent tacos.

Ok second of all, how many ingredients does taco bell have? 5? 6?Do you count the "crunchy red strips"? What the holy hell is a "crunchy red strip" anyways? Apparently if you put the cheese in first ,then the meat it's called a gordita. If the meat goes in before the sour cream, its a chalupa. If you throw it all in a haphazard jumble, it's called a fiesta bowl. Sounds like a fun name for "all the stuff we spilled on the counter making other crap scraped into a pile a served up special for you, gringo!" doesn't it? I love wasting web space, cheapest hobby I've had yet. Except possibly breaking (other people's) things. And furthermore why is fire sauce hotter than hot sauce? isn't fire hot in this plane of existance?

Just thought I'd throw that In.... Don't send me hate mail, if you like em that's YOUR mental defect, er,  problem - not mine.

AHH! I almost forgot! Taco Bell is a purveyor of sporks! Sporks are the single most concentrated sources of evil on this or any other level of existance! Death to SPORKS! If only you KNEW! Sporks are ROUTINELY handed out to unsuspecting consumers! I can't even tell you about the great spork disaster that befell poor Credelup! And besides, they are the worst of both worlds! They are practically useless as a spoon, should you try to eat soup with them. And godcreature forbid you try to stab singed animal steaks with them in order to convey the charred pieces of flesh to your sustinance hole! IT JUST WON'T WORK! The president is off in sandland looking for Weapons of Mass Destruction when there are litterally BILLIONS of these unholy objects RIGHT BELOW HIS NOSE! Help us all should they ever be activated to unleash their potential. In conclusion, sporks are Evil!

..........as i think of more to ramble about.............but i guarantee there will be mention of the almost clockwork-like occurance of  "hershy squirts" an hour after having ingested these vile concoctions .

Ok, Taco Bell also has pizza now, and the pizza is this little crusty, greasy, chewy, dried up disc of an abomination they call a "personal pan pizza". If there is anything personal about this pizza, I should take it as a personal insult and promptly deposit a flaming bag of feces into their open drive-thru window. I mean really, four pepperoni slices on a bit of tomato sauce and guess what? ALMOST NO CHEESE! A COMMON THEME! Is this some sort of CONSPIRACY? One, the likes of which, the world has never seen? With it's sole agenda to IRRITATE ME??? And dont even get me started about how their "breadsticks" are merely an overcooked hunk of pizza crust with little more than a sprinkle of garlic and parmesean to cover it's nakedity of flavor! What a marketing trick! sell me the part of the pizza I would not eat anyway under the guise of a tasty snack!