DMP, the Neil Wilson way (my vision of the parks future)…

 “I don’t know what you need to do, just go and do it.”

Well it’s true, as a theme park critic it becomes all too easy to pan and slate parks nilly willy without actually contemplating what you would do if you were in the managers shoes at the helm of the park. Let’s face it; it isn’t always an easy task mapping out the parks future: having to consider the budget at hand, planning what is marketable and what makes the most financial sense both long term and short term. This thought led me into the happy go lucky world of dreams where I was the manager of the park. So if I owned the place would I actually being doing things differently? Please note that these are simply idealistic thoughts flilttering through the mind of someone void of any official connection to the park. If you wish to drop comments on my air brained ideas please feel free to do so via the forum, or alternatively give us an insight into the ideas trekking through your mind by email (and any that take our fancy will be added to the site!).

2006: Replace the Cyclone with an enclosed Star Gate (a ride that inverts standing riders for sustained periods). The white-knuckle nature of the ride allows the more family orientated Black Revolver to remain (bolstering the ride count) while it would be the first of this ride type to feature at a permanent theme/amusement park.

  Theming would be in keeping with neighbouring ride ‘The Haunting’ with queue line TVs (as on Hex and Oblivion) opening the story involving a man who’s actions lead to the brutal and tragic death of his wife. Although the Lord (always good to frame someone aristocratic as the villain!) married his wife (let’s call her Grizabella to win her some sympathy) for her immense riches, he falls in love with another women he meets at a party (an opportunity for a brief bout of jolly music and gaiety to contrast against the impending doom). He would leave her, however in those medieval times ‘divorce’ was nigh on impossible, especially to a women from such aristocracy, yet she is unprepared to allow him to leave as at her stage in life remarriage is unquestionable and society would perceive allowing her husband to walk away with her riches as shameful (in that period a women’s property became that of the man when she married).

  The man hatches a plan so as society will allow him to respectfully be rid of her. He frames her as a witch making accusations of rituals he has seen her perform. Visitors are then led into the chamber in which she shall “be tried by God” and killed. The ride then kicks off with chanting and dramatic music with fire or other special effects representing her tragic death accompanied by frantic screams. Riders exit past her tomb.

 2007: The hotels have been postponed until 2008 allowing them to save more money and concentrate on the park. Aerial Park is now divided into distinct areas with the left representing a Phantom avenue and the right (from the Big Wheel and Sombrero) a gothic/Victorian style area. These two sections are divided by a tall stonewall with arches allowing guests to pass from one side to the other. The Phantom Avenue side looks sinister with ivy and cobwebs sprawling across the wall, but the other side is brighter and more candied. The Big Wheel receives a re-paint and some gothic cogwheel theming (similar to Peeking Heights at CWOA) allowing it to match Pandemonium while the dreadful Apocalypse queue line is sorted out. Gone is the cattle grid replaced by a shorter line interspersed with apocalyptic theming. Smoke jets burst from the ground amidst a few remaining dead charred trees.

  Next two this newly created land (although logically it could maintain the name Aerial Park) is a new development on the area previously known as the ‘show arena’ (the firework spectacular could now take place over the lake with launchers being placed on rafts). Robinson’s land has benefited little from the parks progress over the past one and a half decade so now the rides are transported to this new area and given the theme of Transport. Transportopia (as I will call it since I can’t be bothered to think up a less cheesy name when it serves little more purpose than to fill one of my cheap articles) would be ideal as most of the existing kiddie rides fit naturally into it (i.e. Vintage Cars, mini Balloons, Crazy Bus etc). Although not all rides match this theme and presently there is little new (save for theming) it would be a springboard for launching future kiddie rides.

2008: Well here is the long heralded hotel topped off with a small cinema and restaurant offering views out over the estate. To allow it to compete with Alton Towers it features themed sweets based on rides and other popular examples (e.g. chocolate). Storm Force 10 is now entry by fast track only in a similar move to what the Millennium Dome did with the human body exhibit, thus allowing the park to help cope with the dramatically increased visitor numbers spurred on by the arrival of a hotel. Each visitor is only allowed one ride preventing fast track tickets running out too early on in the day.

  2009: The year of the little peeps (well let’s face it, it’s been a long time coming). The empty plot of land created by the absence of Robinson’s Land is filled with an extension to the children’s farm. This could encompass a couple of junior rides (similar to Alton Towers ‘Old MacDonald’s Farm’) with maybe a pony express. It could also include a new guinea pig/mouse/rat village. This is effectively like a model village but rodents are running rounds them with shops like the green grocer ‘selling’ salad while the houses have bedding (e.g. hay).

 Over at the new Transportopia Land they either add a Boating School or mini Road Ways (like the examples at the Lego land Parks). Perhaps the Boating School is my preferred option as it could feature a section through the main lake and could circumnavigate another rides with bridges allowing passers by/the queue to steer round it.

  2010: To celebrate it’s 20^th anniversary Pirate Adventure receives a much needed make over with a pre-show being added where the Vintage Cars used to be (removed along with Robinson’s Land) and extra special effects and improved animatronics being added round the water sections (e.g. next to Skull Rock a shark leaps from the water similar to Jaws at Universal Studios).

  The zoo also receives more than its usual additions with the very dated Dinosaur Land being finally axed and either used for new additions (e.g. Bears) or current enclosures are expanded.

  2011: The Park adds about 40 log cabins in the woods between the hotel and campsite increasing their accommodation capabilities. Mean while over in the park a suspended cycle monorail is added to the zoo allowing guests to take advantage of last year’s expansion, a similar concept to Chessingtons’ Sky Safari. Thirdly the middle section of Excalibur receives a major make over with the part in which the boasts escape the guards after passing through the waterfall having impressive new special effects. The archers fire jets of water (like jumping fountains) and a trebuchet launches slings of water narrowly missing the boats. Finally the Super Dragon is replaced by a junior wooden twister which includes a tunnel and a couple of lift hills taking children on a tour round much of Transportopia with it finally passing out over and then under (in a tunnel) the main entrance road into the park.

  2012: Having delayed as longs as I could having to plump for the ‘next big coaster’ I decided on a new concept currently unavailable (which will hopefully either be available by then or alternatively they have one commissioned specially). The ‘junior woodie’ features riders perched along a kind of bench (a little bit like the carriages used on some miniature railways) and very narrow track creating a precarious exposed feel. Because it requires very cheap spindly track it can be quite long featuring a mobius loop allowing trains to duel with each other. The coaster then runs above Splash Canyon intertwining itself round Shockwave. To help it receive planning permission sand/foam would be used to soften the noise of the ride as much as possible and tunnels (like on Lisbergs Baulder) conceal the track at its highest points. So as it doesn’t need to be too tall booster track allows the trains none the less to obtain decent speeds with the ride falling in the boarder lines between family and white knuckle.

  2013: The final year in my vision see the final 40 log cabins installed so as in total they have around 80 each of log cabins, tent pitches and hotel rooms. To complete my original Phantom Avenue idea the Wild West Shoot Out is now moved and replaced by an up charge walk through Haunted Maze attraction (although people staying at the resort could receive a free voucher). Charging covers the cost of actors and prevents the queues from becoming ridiculously long. My final idea is to rework and extend G Force. The outside of the station is re-themed too match Fisherman’s Wharf. The camel back and bent Cuban eight are now set down set down in dents in the ground allowing the trains a little more space thus increasing the forces. After the bent Cuban eight the ride is extended with the track diving into a tunnel which includes a tight helix and a zero G roll bringing trains up onto a curved tyre driven lift hill back up towards the station…

  So with that congratulations for sitting through my 1500 word daydream and with that enjoy the rest of your life (or however much I’ve left you with) and remember feel free to email me your own visions of a brighter future.