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poems

if the sea was vodka and i was a duck id swim to the bottom and never come up , but the sea's not vodka and i'm not a duck so pass me the (bottle)u stupid fuck

 

we had joy we had fun we had ..... on the run  but the fun didn't last cos the bastard ran to fast

we had joy we had fun we had......on the run you should see the hills we had to climb just to see there lush behind

how many  ways do i love u i think there maybe 2 the rumpety pumpety way is all well but i love the soppy way 2

blue's new song

u make me wanna punch u in the middle of the face. 

u make me wanna spit out in disgrace  

u make me wanna shout

u make me wanna scream

u make me wanna wake from this bad dream  

 

dinky the walrus

dinky the walrus  was a load of fat and bone  and wherever he went wherever he spent he always caried a mobile phone

dinky the walrus had a cross between his eyes  and a lovely pair of trousers but he neer did up the flies

dinky the walrus  was lonley i'm sure  but no one knows where he is cos he left and no one saw

 

do these in head

 

1. pick y fave number (above 1)
2. multiply the number by 2
3. add 5
4. mutiply by 50
5. if u have alredy had y birthday this year add 1753 if y haven't  add 1752
6. now subtract the 4 digit year u were born

 

notice anthing odd about your answer

 

the first number is y fave number the second 2 is y age

 

read this please

don't    u just    gotta have ice-cream i could go on forever about ice-cream but i wont cos i know u have better things to do like go and eat ice-cream thats why i wont go an about ice-cream  ice-cream is the best but i'm not bosting about it i'm  not like u. u go on about ice-cream everyday and every night no one can get anything done cos all u do is go on about ice-cream i mean its the best thing on earth but i wont go on about it not like u cos t tell u the truth i dont realy like ice-cream  infact i dont like ice-cream at all i never liked ice-cream but i wont go on about it cos i now u have better things to do than sulk about ice-cream but the fact is its so gay and who would eat ice-cream in the first place probablys me cos i like ice-cream i could go on about it but........................................................................................................................................................................................................just kidin  glad i could be of assistance and waste your time

thaughts

 

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.
Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me the hell alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

3. It's always darkest before dawn.
So if you're going to steal the neighbor's newspaper,
that's the time to do it.

4. It's a small world. So you gotta use your elbows a lot.

5. Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any.

6. We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

7. No one is listening until you make a mistake.

8. Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

9. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

10. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

11. It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.

12. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

13. If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

14. If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.

15. If you haven't much education you must use your brain.

16. Never mess up an apology with an excuse.

17. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

18. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

19. I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit.

20. Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either!

21. If you drink, don't park. Accidents cause people.

22. Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.

23. Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time.

24. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

25. Don't squat with your spurs on.

26. Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.

27. Good judgment comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

28. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

29. Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

30. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

31. Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.

32. Telling a man to go to hell and making him do it are two entirely different propositions.

33. Tact is the ability to tell him to go to hell and have him be happy to be on his way.

34. I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.

35. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

36. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

37. Never ask a man the size of his spread. (Or anything else for that matter!)

38. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

39. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving.

40. Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.

41. Diplomacy is the art of saying "good doggie" while looking for a bigger stick.

42. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

43. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

44. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

45. How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hands.

46. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

47. Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

48. and a final thought for your day:
Two wrongs don't make a right. But three lefts do.