I was asked by a man who has had experience with Crystal Meth, if I could include a page for the experiences of Life after Meth. Please feel free to email your stories if you would like to share them.
Jen
Life after Meth, is there such a thing? I did not think so until about 4 months ago. After my recovery, I was left with no money, no house, no job, no friends, and no family. I had nothing. I started out with everything, and ended up with nothing. Until i met my best friend Melissa, and everything changed. She gave me a reason to want to continue. She gave me hope that there was life after Meth. She helped me get a job, offered me a place to stay, and will forever be my friend. To this day, i still have not gained back my weight, all though i am trying. I weigh 102lbs and i am 5 ft 5in tall. But i am trying. I suffer from mental handicaps, some days i dont even remember to put my shoes on. But i know that if i keep trying, one day i will. I have a scar across my forehead from when i was beaten with a baseball bat outside a house where Meth was sold and thought i was invincible and tried to steal some. I can still hear my arms and ribs breaking everytime i close my eyes. But i still keep going. Because i know now that life is a very precious thing, and that i am very lucky to have made it through alive so far. I received a second chance, and i know alot of people who havent. But i'm here, and im going to make the most of it now.
Stacy
First and foremost, yes, there is life after Meth. It may not be the same, it may not be better or worse, and in some cases there me be no physical life at all for the addict. But for the survivors, we still have to go on. And I think that this belief in itself is what has gotten my family and I through our struggles after Meth.
Life is not the same as it was; in fact, I don’t believe its even close. But it is there. And we still find the strength in ourselves to smile at the end of the day and thank God for giving us the opportunity to do so. We have all dealt with the aftermath in our own ways, and whether it be through acceptance, or some other form of carrying on, we do it. We stick by each other, and love one another as if there is nothing different. We still cry and grieve, I believe we always will. But for the sake of our brother, and of our family, we keep going. There are times where I’m almost positive, each and every one of us has wanted to throw in the towel and sit one out. But we don’t. We persevere and keep pushing, in hopes that we as individuals and as a family, can make it through our life after Meth.
We lost many things and can never get them back, however, we can be grateful for what we have now, and feel blessed that we were given a second chance. Not everyone gets one.
It has changed us, and made us stronger, when in the beginning we thought that it would tear us apart. But we kept hanging on to the memories and to the belief that what didn’t kill us, would make us stronger. And here we are. We are here. And that is why we keep going.
Jennifer
After my experience with Crystal Meth, I felt the need to let people know about the life we live after the fact. You never think about it, that something like that could happen to your family…you raise your kids the best you can, you go to church, live a satisfying life, and then just like that – its turned upside down. My son got addicted to Meth last year, and has since been through a rollercoaster of events that has left him partially paralyzed, he has lost parts of his memory, and just about every person he was friends with. Which we happen to think is a good thing, but he is very upset about it. Some of them got scared and ran away from him when he had his encounter, and some of them just don’t care. But my wife and I, we do. We love our son no matter what, and we always will. I find myself waking up at night sometimes, hoping that this has been a dream and that I’ll walk into the bedroom of my son and he’ll be 5 years old again and I’ll be able to tuck him in and kiss him goodnight. I have to force myself to check back into reality sometimes, as I find that I’m more comfortable thinking that things aren’t the way they are. But that is my life now. And my son has to suffer for the rest of his. All my wife and I can do is be here for him, support him, and love him unconditionally. We all like to think of what life was like before anything happened, but eventually we realize that we are very lucky. A lot luckier than we think we are. We have our son, and we have each other, and that is what matters. The outcome of being free of Crystal Meth may not always be a good one, but if you’re lucky enough to make it, be very proud of yourself.
Don H.
My wife Lily & I Lost our daughter Sonja to Crystal Meth. While going through this site (as I do almost every week) I came across this 'Life After Meth' section and decided to email Jennifer my thoughts. At first I was really angry, I thought to myself "how could she put that up there....there's no such thing as Life after Meth...there's no such thing as being able to go on..." I was really angry...but then I thought to myself, it may not be a life that I enjoy, or even want exactly, but in a way, I suppose it's still life. And for that realization, I can say that I'm not angry anymore...but not happy either. I don't know what happy is anymore.
Last Year, my wife and I almost filed for divorce. Some days I think that I am taking this alot harder than her, but I guess everyone deals with things in their own way. I just couldnt help but see my daughters face when I looked at my wife, or hear my daughters laugh when my wife would laugh. And that made me angry. Why should she be laughing, our daughter is gone, why is she laughing. Why does she get the opportunity to laugh, when my daughter will never smile again. But that is me and my anger. My denial, my fear. I dont think I accept it. I dont know if i ever will. Its been a long time i suppose, but to me it doesnt get any easier. Friends have told me time and time again, 'time will heal you', ..... As more time goes by, the harder it is to wake up in the morning. Because that means I have to face another day without my daughter.
Some days I think to myself that maybe it would have been easier for me to swallow if she hadnt died the way she did. As morbid as it sounds, I would be better off knowing she was killed instantly in a car wreck or had a brain anyuerism, or anything else but a police officer coming to my door saying 'I'm sorry sir, but your daughter hung herself while high on CrystalMeth".....
I hear that sentance an average of 5 times a day. And it never gets any easier.
My wife and I have been through counselling, been to see shrinks..gone to doctors.....the whole bit. I know that I need help, I probably always will. I cant accept it now, and I dont know if i ever will. My life has been turned upside down and I try to find common ground on a regular basis, and the one person who I need has been here all along, yet I push her away because of my guilt. My wife. God knows I love her with all of my heart. And now she is my whole world. After I realized what I was doing to her I took a step back and thought to myself, "This woman is my world, she is all I have left, I CANNOT lose her too".... and I suppose that is my reason for sticking around, for still getting up and going to work...because of her. She lost everything in her world too and its taken me this long to get rid of my selfishness and be here for her. We need eachother like we never have before, and I pray that we will make it through this.
Doug & Ronnie and their family are some of the most amazing people I have ever come accross, and I have never even met them. Just by reading your stories and seeing your progress jsut makes it that much easier to hold on to the hope that one day maybe things will get better. One day we will smile again, and one day we will move on. One Day.
Jaron Lee